Chapter 7 Why Is Your Dick Swollen

Chapter 7 Why Is Your Rooster Swollen?

But why...?

It was already quite large, but now it's even bigger than his arm... Shouldn't a rooster be soft and fluffy?

Could it be...?

Before he could reach out a finger to confirm his suspicion, Shi Zai was abruptly seized by two powerful hands that clasped around his waist. He couldn't help but let out a small gasp, quickly covering his mouth. Yang Yun was still asleep. No sooner had this thought crossed his mind than he was lifted high into the air.

Lifted again!

Why am I lifted every morning?!

Through the thin mist outside the window and the faint light of dawn, he looked down to see Shu Yangkuo’s stern expression, furrowed brows, and tightly pressed lips. The arms holding him were taut with strength, and the man exuded an unmistakably hostile aura. Why was he so fierce again for no reason?

Not daring to make a sound, Shi Zai flailed his legs and feet wildly, silently mouthing the words:

"Monk, put me down."

"..."

"Your rooster... why is it swollen? So big!!"

"..."

"Is it... a severe allergic reaction?"

The Old Fossil deliberately pretended not to understand his lip movements, standing rigid as a steel frame, his eyes blazing as if he wanted to devour him.

Why so fierce? Not cute at all.

Shi Zai struggled in vain until his small frame grew tired from thrashing. He went limp, hanging like laundry in the man’s large hands, head drooping listlessly. He thought: Fine, let’s see how long the man can hold him up. It wasn’t like he had touched anything improperly—why was he being treated as if he’d done something wrong?

One second, two seconds, three seconds.

There was no damp warmth on Shu Yangkuo's chest, and the person he was holding no longer had any lively energy. Shu Yangkuo suddenly didn’t understand—why had the daring little wild dog suddenly turned into a pitiful puppy, as if he'd been greatly wronged?

If anyone should feel wronged right now, it shouldn’t be the puppy.

Shi Zai felt more aggrieved the more he thought about it, especially remembering Shu Yangkuo’s expression earlier, as if Shi Zai had some ulterior motive. What could he possibly want?! All he wanted was for them to stay with him a few more days! His ribs hurt, and he was about to voice his protest when he heard the man’s very low, husky voice:

"Stop acting spoiled."

"...???"

Shi Zai jerked his head up in surprise, bewildered, and couldn’t help thrashing about a few more times. Still not put down, he heard the man say:

"On purpose?"

"...!!!"

Instantly, Shi Zai became furious, kicking wildly with his feet, only to be blocked by a bent knee. He lifted his face, about to flail his hands again, when he caught sight of Shu Yangkuo’s expression—not as fierce as before, but with a hint of teasing.

He’d never seen this before and found it interesting. Shi Zai watched for two seconds, confirmed the man was in a good mood, and quickly clasped his hands in a "please, please" gesture.

Then, he was set aside.

Almost immediately, Shi Zai clung to Shu Yangkuo’s arm, burrowing into the crook of his elbow and shoulder, so angry he almost bit him. But he remembered the man’s "squeaky chicken" tendency and held back. Seeing that the man didn’t push him away, Shi Zai’s mood improved. So it was just teasing earlier. But allergies were, after all, serious business. He leaned close to the man’s ear and whispered:

"Old Fossil, the Qing dynasty fell ages ago. Let me take a look at you... Is your rooster allergic too, that it’s so swollen? How do you feel—is it itchy?"

"..."

"Come on, say something! Is it itchy or not?!"

"..."

Why was he ignoring him again? Just as Shi Zai was about to ask "Is it itchy?" again, he heard the man swallow heavily. He looked up sharply, expecting the man to be angry, but instead saw his Adam’s apple bob dramatically. Such a large Adam’s apple, shimmering enticingly in the faint morning mist.

Curious, he was about to reach out and touch it when he abruptly withdrew his hand, frightened by Shu Yangkuo’s gaze—so full of predatory intensity.

As if he wanted to devour him whole.

Shi Zai nearly froze, staying half-sprawled motionless on the man’s chest. Their eyes locked, tangling, but in the end, Shi Zai was the one who yielded, wrapped in layer after layer by that gaze, penetrated deeply until his heart thundered. What was wrong with his heartbeat, he wondered? Breaking eye contact, Shi Zai pressed his ear to Shu Yangkuo’s chest and listened. Oh, it was the man’s heartbeat. He was tall, so his heart was naturally large, and his heartbeat was powerful.

When he looked up again, the man’s invasive gaze was gone. His eyes were half-lowered, and he asked in an extremely low, hoarse voice:

"You never went to school?"

"School? No, I was there for a few days, but I only know pinyin and less than twenty Chinese characters."

"..."

"Hey, Monk, why is your voice so hoarse? And your body's getting hotter, your heartbeat is so fast too... Is the allergy getting worse? Are you itchy or not..."

Before Shi Zai could finish, a low, raspy voice, restrained but raised in volume, rang in his ear: "Yang Yun." Shi Zai turned sharply to see the little bird, who had been sleeping on the small bed with his butt in the air, threw off the thin blanket and sat up with a giggle. "I'll protect you!"

...Shi Zai was completely baffled.

Next, he was dragged out of Shu Yangkuo’s arms by Yang Yun. The Pink Dumpling was surprisingly strong. Shi Zai was pulled off balance and accidentally stepped on the man’s abs. He heard a low grunt, and the man immediately moved Shi Zai's calf away. Shi Zai had no idea how he ended up on the ground, pushed and pulled by these two men. As he was dragged toward the living room, he glanced back and saw the man with his knees bent, curled up, facing the wall.

Shi Zai tried to break free from Yang Yun’s grip:

"Is he hurting? I should check..."

"Stop looking at him! The more you look, the worse he’ll feel!"

With that, Yang Yun exerted more force and dragged the bewildered Shi Zai into the living room.

After all this commotion, day was beginning to dawn. The two sat on the sofa, and Yang Yun grinned:

"Second Uncle is fine. All men are just like this in the morning."

"...Rooster?"

"Little Bro, you’re so crude."

"...Then what should I call it?"

Yang Yun opened his mouth, but his mind was filled with even cruder terms. Hehe.

Seeing the little bird giggle foolishly, Shi Zai was still worried:

"Really? But it was kinda scary."

"...You made it even scarier, mm," he said.

"Huh?"

"Ahem, nothing, don't overthink it. He'll be fine in a bit."

"You just said all men are like this in the morning. Why am I not?"

After a pause, Yang Yun broke out laughing:

"You're already nineteen, and you still haven't?!"

"...Haven't what?"

"Hahahahaha!"

"Do you?"

As he spoke, Shi Zai, who was beginning to understand, directly pulled down the pink dumpling's little underpants. Seeing the small, curled-up thing, he laughed:

"You don't have one either, what are you talking about?"

"...Don't just pull down a man's pants!!"

"Hehe, just a little kid."

"Hmph."

Yang Yun pulled up his own little underpants, fully understanding his second uncle's speechlessness. Although Shi Zai lived in a more advanced era, how could he know nothing about these things? It was like he was completely clueless. Hadn't he seen any of those puberty books about growth and changes when he was a teenager?

He and his second uncle had... oh, right, Shi Zai never lived in the palace.

He woke up when Shi Zai was whispering into his second uncle's ear. Surprisingly, Shu Yangkuo, that old fossil, didn't push him away. In the past, anyone with such intentions would have been expelled from the palace immediately. But Shi Zai's intentions... that's probably why he wasn't pushed away.

Shi Zai was the best person they had ever met.

Little Shi Zai hasn't grown up yet, hehe.

But—Yang Yun sighed softly:

"Second Uncle probably doesn't want to be a monk anymore."

"...Really?!! He won't go to the temple anymore?!"

"I'm guessing, maybe. But don't tell Second Uncle, okay? Speculating about his intentions could get us in trouble, hehe."

"Okay! I'll do my best to keep you both here! I really like you! Good little bird!"

Shi Zai was so happy he didn't know what to do. Even though it was just a "maybe," it was already much better. It meant that if he tried hard, the man and the little bird would really stay. The smile on his face was like the morning sun by the window. He cupped the pink dumpling's head and kissed his forehead.

Yang Yun immediately turned red, touching his own forehead:

"You... you... are you trying to start a harem?!"

"Hahahaha..."

The little bird was talking nonsense again. Shi Zai was beside himself with laughter. After laughing for a while, he remembered to hurry up and wash up and make breakfast.

As he walked toward the bathroom, the sound of rushing water came from the inner shower. Shu Yangkuo was so fussy, showering again. Oh, right, he had medicine all over him... Shi Zai shouted toward the shower, "Make the water hotter!" then turned and went to the balcony to get the freshly dried new clothes.

As soon as he touched them, Shi Zai knew they wouldn't cause any more allergies. One piece of clothing cost half a month's income.

After washing up in the outer area, he went to make the egg custard. When he returned, Shu Yangkuo had finished showering—another cold shower. Shi Zai pulled the door open and couldn't help scolding him. What if he caught a cold or got a fever? The man turned sideways, avoiding his gaze, and let him talk. After muttering, Shi Zai glanced at his back—there were almost no red marks left. He handed him a towel to dry himself and went to get the ointment to apply it again.

When he returned, Shu Yangkuo was already dressed and shook his head, indicating he didn't want the ointment.

Shi Zai lifted the front of his clothes to check. There really wasn't much redness, so he didn't insist. Just as he put the clothes down, he noticed the man retracting his half-raised hand... Shi Zai smiled. He was used to being casual and didn't think checking his chest and back was a big deal.

As soon as he stepped out of the bathroom, Shi Zai noticed the stool by the door:

"Monk, why aren't you wearing underpants?"

"..."

Getting no response, Shi Zai picked them up and held them right under the monk's eyes, asking again. Shu Yangkuo's ears turned bright red:

"Im... improper."

"............How is it improper?!"

"I want the kind from yesterday."

"...The kind from yesterday was too small. Weren't you uncomfortable from the tightness?"

"This one is even smaller."

"..."

But since he'd already bought them, even though they were briefs, they couldn't possibly be that small. Shi Zai teased him:

"You won't wear them?"

"...No."

"Then you're a pervert. If you go out, the police will arrest you."

"..."

"Hahahaha, just wear them for now. These are briefs. I have them too. The boxer briefs from yesterday weren't available in larger sizes, and the other stores were closed. I'll go out later to look for another store, okay?"

Shu Yangkuo had no choice but to take them, close the bathroom door, and put them on.

Shi Zai waited outside the door, asking if they were too tight. After waiting left and right with no response, he pulled the door open again. The man was adjusting his underpants and immediately turned around when he saw him come in. Shi Zai secretly laughed—he had already seen it. They were indeed too small.

The fabric in the middle was too small—it couldn't cover everything!

Tsk, comparing yourself to others is frustrating!

When he turned twenty-seven, could he grow that big? Shi Zai cleared his throat:

"Then don't wear them. After breakfast, I'll go out and buy you a new pair."

"..."

"Hurry up and wash. I'll go make breakfast. Walk slowly, and hold onto the wall."

Actually, he didn't need to remind them anymore. The man and the little bird had passed the first day of adaptation and were getting more used to their bodies. Even without holding onto the wall, Shu Yangkuo could walk slowly and steadily.

But, speaking of underpants... tsk, the man's rooster was quite expensive and fussy. He'd already had to buy underpants three times.

No matter, he could afford to raise them!!

After breakfast, Shi Zai hesitated about whether to take them out around town. They were both wearing branded clothes today—looking so sharp! One was tall and well-built in a short shirt and long pants, with a refined air, while the other was lively and adorable in a short-sleeved top and shorts… But their legs and arms hadn’t fully healed yet, so they’d probably feel too self-conscious to go out like this. Maybe after tomorrow’s medical check-up.

Speaking of the medical check-up, Shi Zai remembered a question:

"Monk, Little Bird, do either of you have an ID card?"

"...What’s an ID card?"

"For example, you, Little Bird… Ah, so that’s a no. What should we do? Let me ask someone."

Without explaining further, Shi Zai thought for a moment and dialed a number—Jiang Ziqing. He'd know what to do.

After the call, Shi Zai was overjoyed—things were easier than expected! Just as he was about to share the good news, he turned around and noticed the two of them, one tall and one small, were sulking again.