Chapter 37 Pink Dumpling’s Rebellious Phase

Chapter 37 Pink Dumpling's Rebellious Phase

Dappled light painted his bright, fervent eyes, gilded his still-boyish shoulders, and brushed the man’s arm laden with new clothes.

Startled for a moment, a rush of hot blood surged through his heart—Shi Zai even gave a sharp jolt before quickly scooping up the pink dumpling, who was kneeling stiffly, face upturned in apology. His heart was a tumultuous mix of sourness, ache, anger, and warmth. He vigorously wiped away the tears clinging to Yang Yun’s eyes:

“Shu Yangyun, just *try* kneeling one more time! We’ll settle this at home!”

“……”

The inexplicably rebellious big boy capitulated, not daring another word. He obediently let his Big Bro pull him up by the arm, then allowed his expressionless Oldest Bro to rather roughly change him into the newly bought, neat short-sleeved shirt and shorts.

Shi Zai tossed the ragged vest and shorts directly into the trash, his eyes red-rimmed:

“Stinky Yun Bao, if you ever really want to wear clothes like that… at least pick expensive ones. Don’t you know you’re allergic to cheap fabric?”

“……”

At this, Yang Yun paused, then began crying softly again, tears flowing endlessly as guilt washed over him like a tide.

—Big Bro’s clothes were never even half as expensive as his own.

—In Fengwai Town, when Big Bro went out to collect scrap, he’d only bring a flatbread for lunch but would order restaurant meals delivered for them.

—After coming to Chengzhou City and paying his expensive tuition, Big Bro woke up at 3 a.m. every day to sell baked flatbreads before going to work.

…

One thing after another, and this was just the material aspects.

Not to mention all the emotional aspects—even to the point where Big Bro, afraid he might feel uncomfortable, had once considered keeping his relationship with Oldest Bro purely brotherly.

Climbing dazedly onto Oldest Bro’s back, Yang Yun reached out his right hand, tightly holding onto Big Bro, who had been watching him all along. With tears streaming down, he drowsily laid his head on Oldest Bro’s shoulder. Shi Zai asked Shu Yangkuo to bend down a bit, gently removing the ear clip that was digging uncomfortably into Yang Yun’s ear. Before leaving, he offered 800 yuan to the manager who had waited outside the restroom fearing trouble—far exceeding the meal cost. It was compensation for breaking the mop, occupying the restroom for so long, and disrupting the restaurant’s atmosphere. The manager firmly refused, but Shi Zai still paid the money along with the meal bill.

At the critical stage of growing up and gaining independence, being alone in the outside world hadn’t given him a good experience, which is why he acted this way.

Whether it was exactly as Shi Zai thought or not, only Yang Yun could say.

He felt some regret—he shouldn’t have been so cautious.

All three of them were the same; sometimes they needed intense emotional expression to confirm their place in the world and in each other’s hearts. Especially this big one and this little one—amid his lingering concern, Shi Zai felt somewhat amused. They had to throw a tantrum so he could step in and discipline them before they'd behave.

Arriving home, the person on Shu Yangkuo’s back gradually woke up, so he wasn’t taken to the bedroom but was instead laid on the sofa. Shu Yangkuo brought a glass of water for Shi Zai, pulled up a chair for him, patted his shoulder, and then went to make dinner for them first.

Yang Yun made a face at his retreating back, rubbed his eyes, and before Shi Zai could speak, hurriedly confessed everything:

“Big Bro, I’m sorry…”

“I’ve said, no apologizing. All I want is Yun Bao’s affection.”

“Wuwu… I like you, I love you, Big Bro. Hic… I’m really bad. You love me, and I take advantage, always asking for more, wanting Big Bro to love me more and care about me more, but I didn’t know how to say it, and Big Bro is already so good to me. My feelings are a mess…”

Seeing the sixteen-year-old boy with his slight frame speaking incoherently, looking utterly pitiful, Shi Zai quickly set down the water glass, sat right beside Yang Yun, held the pink dumpling tightly, gave his cheek a reassuring touch, and coaxed him to speak slowly.

Yang Yun calmed down a bit, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes:

“Sometimes I feel unhappy for no reason, but it’s not because of you guys. I can’t explain it myself, and I get anxious about gains and losses. That’s why I told Oldest Bro I was afraid of growing up, but I also want to grow up quickly, to support this family together with you. I feel impatient and conflicted, so when I heard you were going to celebrate Children’s Day for me today, I got upset. I don’t want to be left behind, I don’t want to be a helpless little kid anymore, but right now I don’t even have the ability to handle things. It’s so frustrating, so frustrating. I even… I even don’t know what the point is of going to the pottery studio every day.”

“I felt a little upset with Big Bro too. Why did Big Bro know I was afraid… wuwu, why didn’t you just ask me directly? That kind of quiet concern made me both touched and annoyed. It felt… felt like Big Bro was keeping a distance from me. Sometimes I understand Big Bro’s good intentions, but other times I feel wronged and uncomfortable… Also, even though I did something wrong—kicking over the broom on purpose two weeks ago, throwing clean clothes on the ground last week—why didn’t Big Bro scold me or discipline me? Big Bro was being so careful, I couldn’t even say I was upset, but I was still unhappy. Sometimes it made me extreme, thinking maybe Big Bro didn’t care about me that much, maybe all that ‘like’ was just sweet talk, wuwu.”

A heavier, warmer wetness soaked into his shoulder. Shi Zai looked at the soft little head, feeling indescribable sorrow and heartache.

He held him tighter, gently patting and coaxing him, saying over and over, “I really care about you,” until finally the pink dumpling stopped crying again.

Shi Zai sighed softly and slowly told him everything:

“My Yun Bao, my little brother, you know about Big Bro’s background. Back then, I stubbornly insisted on keeping you two, and I’ll be grateful for it for the rest of my life. It’s a blessing I earned over many lifetimes—how could I not care? Because of what I’ve been through myself, I always worry you might feel neglected. I even thought about… you know. The relationship among the three of us—Oldest Bro and I have an additional layer, but as I’ve told you, there are things between just you and me that he can’t be part of. The happiness Yun Bao’s companionship brings me is unmatched by anyone else, and I want to be that kind of presence in Yun Bao’s heart too. At the very beginning, especially during those ten days when your Oldest Bro wasn’t around, I felt like the two of us could talk about anything, share anything.”

“This time, Big Bro used the wrong approach. But…”

Shi Zai felt a bit embarrassed and was also somewhat emotional, but he still spoke honestly:

“But your first worry as you grew up was told to your Oldest Bro. I was actually a little sad too. You always say Oldest Bro is fierce, and Yun Bao always liked telling me his little thoughts the most… So I didn’t dare ask you directly, only cautiously tried to hint around…”

“Wuwu, Big Bro, don’t be sad. I’ll never tell that big bad Oldest Bro again. That day he was unusually gentle with me, and I was fooled by him and just said that one thing. Later, when I was having fun with Big Bro, I forgot about it. Then later, when I felt bad again and remembered it, I thought Oldest Bro would definitely tell you, and you would definitely come ask me and comfort me, but then… It must be that Oldest Bro passed on the message wrong!”

From the kitchen, the sound of chopping suddenly grew heavier. Shi Zai quickly hugged Yang Yun:

“From now on, let’s talk, just the two of us. Now tell Big Bro, what exactly is making you uncomfortable?”

“…I don’t like the teacher and classmates in my class.”

“I know you don’t really like them, but why?”

“…Didn’t Big Bro already guess? So what if I’m really introverted? What does it matter to them? Why should I have to talk to them or smile at them? I’m happy by myself, I do my own things well, that’s enough. Why do they all have to whisper about me behind my back, like I’m some kind of weirdo? It looks like concern, but it really makes me uncomfortable, especially when they say things like ‘Yang Yun likes quiet, let’s not disturb him.’ Did I ask them to do that for me? They’re the ones being noisy, and everyone else is unhappy, but they single me out… I… I don’t dare fight them either… so it’s so annoying. Sometimes it reminds me of the past, when I first followed Oldest Bro. Whenever Oldest Bro wasn’t around, those palace maids and eunuchs would secretly laugh at me. I didn’t dare complain—not because I was scared, but… but because I was afraid you’d find such a small thing annoying, think I make too much fuss. So I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to Big Bro. It feels like such a tiny thing, but it bothers me a lot, and you didn’t ask… anyway, it’s all a mess.”

As he spoke, Yang Yun buried his head and rubbed around chaotically.

Shi Zai smoothed down the hair he’d messed up. He completely understood Yang Yun’s reluctance to speak up and his troubles, and he knew he’d guessed correctly earlier—the problem still lay here, which is why he’d said, “If you don’t want to learn pottery anymore, Yun Bao can come with Big Bro.”

It was just that Yang Yun, not wanting to worry him, had always acted flawlessly, making him think maybe it wasn’t the reason.

But could Shu Yangkuo, who’d raised Yun Bao for sixteen years, not have guessed at all?

Shi Zai glared toward the kitchen. That stinky man had his pitiful side, but he also had his mistakes. Shi Zai didn’t even need to guess—in the past, even if he noticed Yang Yun was unhappy because of this, Shu Yangkuo would just deal with the people involved and then lightly tell the little dumpling, “It’s fine now.”

And that was called coddling a child? When Yang Yun first told Shi Zai that whenever he cried or got angry, Oldest Bro would comfort him, Shi Zai had been skeptical at the time.

He'd been comforted so much that now he had all sorts of little grievances to tell him.

Little grievances accumulated over time are more terrifying than floods and fierce beasts. Shi Zai pinched the handsome face that no longer had baby fat:

“Yun Bao, what Big Bro said earlier wasn’t to fool you. If you’re unhappy or uncomfortable, change your environment. We can’t change other people who are bad, but we can make ourselves better in a new environment. If you force yourself to stay with people who make you uncomfortable, you’ll eventually become a stagnant pool. How to put it? Yun Bao is like a cheerful little stream—you need sunlight, flowers, and love to accompany you on your way. If someone throws trash into you, or if you let bad people make you generate trash inside yourself, that’s being unloving to yourself.”

“…”

“Why do you think Big Bro moved and lived in several different places? It’s because I slowly figured out this principle. Change to a happy place—even if I’m collecting scrap, I can live well. But living in a place with people who make you uncomfortable, even the air feels bad. There’s no need to punish yourself because of others. We can’t ignore them because we have kindness in our hearts, but if we feel uncomfortable because of them, that’s giving our kindness to others while making ourselves suffer. How is that cost-effective? Later, I became more and more optimistic because I slowly learned to be good to myself.”

“…”

“So, Yun Bao isn’t afraid to confront them—it’s because you’re kind, because you don’t want your emotions to affect others. It’s okay. Then let’s take back our kindness, go to an environment where we feel comfortable, and give that kindness and love to ourselves, giving ourselves a happiness they can never have. Yun Bao, come set up a stall with Big Bro. In a while, I’ll find you a shop for an internship. Yun Bao can learn and intern at the same time.”

After their heart-to-heart, Yang Yun felt much more settled. He wanted to try for a while longer—first, with Big Bro’s guidance, he felt he could try to ignore others and let the love in his heart make him stronger; second, the tuition was quite expensive, and he couldn’t bear to waste it (this part he didn’t say).

Shi Zai agreed. Growing up was like this—sometimes you change paths, sometimes you try to endure; you need to experience both.

This matter was settled, but there was still the most important thing left unsaid. However, they had to have dinner first.

Shu Yangkuo had just set the food on the table when both younger ones let out a “hmph” at him, freezing him in place.

Shi Zai “hmph”-ed because he remembered how Shu Yangkuo had dragged the pink dumpling away and even picked up a stick—clearly intending to strike someone. Even Shi Zai had frozen in fear at the time; Yang Yun must have been utterly terrified. Fear and harshness were deeply intertwined.

But Yang Yun had never acted this mischievously before, had he?

Perhaps recalling similar incidents, Yang Yun also let out a “hmph.” Shi Zai shot him a look, signaling Shu Yangkuo to sit down first so they could finish eating before talking. Yet, regarding the recent tension between the elder and younger brother, Shi Zai paused to reflect—it seemed things had been strained for some time, most noticeably in Yang Yun’s attitude toward Shu Yangkuo. Whenever the elder brother wore a blank expression, Yang Yun could “hmph” endlessly right in front of him.

What on earth had that damn man done recently to upset the pink dumpling?

Shi Zai placed both chicken drumsticks into Yang Yun’s bowl, hoping to calm him down enough to eat properly first. Unexpectedly, Yang Yun pursed his lips and spoke up voluntarily:

“…Uh… Uh… I can only act like that with your big brother—he’s my husband. Besides, you’re not even fully grown yet…”

“Ah! Stop!”

Seeing the pink dumpling’s face flush crimson, Shi Zai burst into laughter.

Yang Yun took a fierce bite of the drumstick, swallowed, and declared:

“Big brother, how shameless can you get?!”

“Hahaha—so what did you mean by ‘jealousy’? That’s literally the only thing that came to mind.”

“I meant you being harsh with him… Wait—big brother, are you saying it’ll be okay once I grow up?”

Just as he grasped the first half of the sentence, the second half completely stunned him. Shi Zai opened his mouth to reply—when suddenly, a sharp *crack* rang out.

Then Shu Yangkuo’s voice dropped low and cold: “Yang Yun.”

Yang Yun instantly stiffened his neck and retorted, “What’s wrong with joking around?”

Shi Zai’s eyelids twitched—here they went again. Seeing Shu Yangkuo poised to snap his chopsticks and Yang Yun’s eyes reddening once more, Shi Zai slammed the table:

“Shu Yangkuo—do you think you’re allowed to throw tantrums now?! Obsessed with slamming tables? Go ahead—do it again!”

“…”

The tall man fell silent at that shout, lowering his gaze. Meanwhile, Yang Yun erupted:

“Yeah, exactly! Big brother, why do you only scold *him*?! Don’t you always say we’re both equally important to you? Then why do you only get harsh with my big brother—and not with me?! Why?! I’m furious! Look how smug big brother is!! No shame!”

“You little brat—how dare you speak so disrespectfully?!”

“So what if I am?! Go ahead, big brother—grab a stick and hit me!”

Buzz, buzz. Total chaos.

Even though only three people sat at the table, the scene was utterly pandemonium.

Shi Zai’s mind went blank—he had no idea what to say.

What *were* they even arguing about?

What did “only harsh with him” even mean? Didn’t Yang Yun hate being “scolded harshly”? Wasn’t he “afraid”? Suddenly, Shi Zai recalled something Shu Yangkuo had said one day: “Don’t just believe his side of the story.” Recently, he’d also insisted that Yang Yun sometimes needed discipline—and warned Shi Zai not to be too soft on him. At the time, Shi Zai had scolded him mercilessly… Now, looking back, perhaps he’d misunderstood what Yang Yun meant by “afraid” and “harsh”?

Fear came in many forms—and shifted with circumstance and state of mind. Sometimes it stemmed from past trauma; sometimes from confusion amid new environments or growth. Shi Zai had conflated them all—and chosen the wrong approach: overcaution.

Sigh. No wonder Shu Yangkuo had muttered “troublesome” last night.

No—every child goes through this while growing up. You couldn’t call it troublesome, and you certainly couldn’t just scare them like that damn man and call it a day.

Yet—sometimes you *did* need to be firm, didn’t you? Indeed, Yang Yun was exceptionally clever. Shi Zai had always known he was adept at reading people and adjusting his behavior accordingly. When everyone was happy, he’d be bold; when trouble loomed at home, he’d behave impeccably… When he deliberately provoked Shu Yangkuo with sarcasm, it almost seemed like—if left undisciplined—he’d revel in provoking others and courting trouble. Even standing there and “hmph”-ing… might well be a bid for attention.

With Shu Yangkuo, Yang Yun was probably used to it. He knew his big brother wouldn’t truly harm him—so he tested boundaries, like any child pushing limits. The more adults indulged his mischief, the further he pushed—until finally scolded, only then settling down. It was simply part of growing up.

Though Shi Zai hadn’t experienced this himself, he gradually understood through their interactions: Yang Yun’s mischief and “fear” were part of his growth under Shu Yangkuo’s “firmness”—a way to seek greater attention and guidance. It was also a delicate balance between adult authority and childhood needs.

As a child—Yang Yun wasn’t unwilling to enjoy being a child; he longed to be a child who was genuinely cared for *and* disciplined.

Tsk. In the end, he really *did* need discipline. Shi Zai had feared being too harsh—but Yang Yun here *needed* scolding, needed firmness.

Coming back to his senses, Shi Zai looked up and saw Yang Yun slouching improperly, kicking something under the table, fuming. Shu Yangkuo—just reprimanded by Shi Zai—sat impassively peeling shrimp for them, head bowed… Shi Zai took a deep breath and snapped sharply:

“Shu Yangyun! If you keep messing around, I *will* hit you!”

“…”

Silence. The dining table fell utterly still—not even the sound of shrimp peeling could be heard.

Shi Zai finally exhaled in relief and happily resumed eating.

Honestly, he’d been holding onto some inexplicable anger. Had he grasped all these feelings earlier, he’d have tossed Yang Yun’s ragged clothes straight into the trash during dinner! Then things wouldn’t have escalated like this!

But—it had to happen eventually. That little troublemaker *needed* discipline! Just like Shu Yangkuo—holding everything in until Shi Zai was on the verge of losing his temper before finally voicing his grievances. Skilled at acting out—and acting pitiful—truly…

After dinner, a bowl of soup was gently handed to him. Shi Zai lifted his eyelids slightly, snorted coldly—and then heard:

“Big brother can scold me. Fear can also be overwritten with new experiences. In the future, fear will be linked to happiness. I like it when big brother treats me this way. Besides joking and laughing, big brother can scold me anytime…”

“A masochist like your big brother?”

“…Hmph—not like him. When big brother is firm with me, it helps me rewrite the memory of being harshly treated by bad people.”

Shi Zai felt both angry and amused. He glanced at Shu Yangkuo, expressionlessly eating the leftovers from him and the pink dumpling—then flicked Yang Yun on the forehead:

“You’ve really picked up all the tricks, huh.”

“Hehe, big brother is the best! In every way—you’re my role model!”

“Really?”

“Yes, yes! The past doesn’t matter. As long as we hold love in our hearts, we can change the past and start anew! So with big brother’s guidance, I feel like I can learn so many skills. Once I become strong myself—what do a few words from others even matter?”

Hearing this, Shi Zai didn’t bring up other matters right away. His heart warmed—this entire scene was truly worth it.

After everyone finished eating, Shi Zai pulled the pink dumpling onto the sofa and settled himself firmly onto the chair in front of it:

“How come I feel like *you* should be my role model?”

“…Huh?”

“The fake tattoo isn’t bad. Let’s go get one together another day.”

“…No! Big brother, I was just joking!”

“The clip-on earring isn’t bad either. I’ve never been so bold before.”

“…” “The ragged clothes… Forget it. If I’d known you liked wearing rags, big brother could’ve collected heaps of scrap cloth back in the day. I shouldn’t have wasted money buying you clothes—being our family’s little ragamuffin would’ve been perfect.”

"......"

Yang Yun clasped his hands together, tucked them between his thighs, and lowered his head, not daring to say another word.

Shi Zai let out a scoff—this wasn’t even the worst part:

“You even dared to smoke?!”

“No-no-no! Bro, I didn't—*sob*—”

“Cut it out! Who gave you the guts to buy cigarettes?! Who were you trying to provoke with them?!”

Wiping his eyes, his hand shaking, Yang Yun raised it:

“I… I stole them from big brother! It was him who secretly bought them!”

“...Quit pinning it on your brother! Last time I told him to buy some as backup—didn’t you hear?”

“I… I forgot.”

“......”

He fumed. The thought of that pack of cigarettes made Shi Zai furious. To pull such a stunt, this little rascal had really gotten bold. Only now did he realize how cunning the kid could be—even daring to take cigarettes! Clearly, he needed discipline, or in a couple of years, he’d really be flying sky-high!

Just as he was thinking about finding a book to roll up to teach him a lesson, he turned and saw the “culprit” who hadn’t even noticed his own cigarettes were missing walk by. Shi Zai suddenly stood up, and before Shu Yangkuo could react, he had his belt stripped right off his hips, forcing him to immediately turn his back.

*Crack!*

The belt came down on the chair with a crack! Yang Yun shuddered violently, hiccupping repeatedly. Shi Zai forced himself not to relent:

“Shu Yangyun, listen to me! No matter how scared or upset you are in the future, even if you still don’t want to talk about what’s bothering you and just have your crying fits with me, that’s fine! But if you ever pull another stunt like tonight—with fake tattoos and cigarettes—you'd better not!”

“...I… I understand. Hic.”

“Remember this! Hearts are made of flesh and blood—feelings can grow deeper, but they can also fade. If you keep coming up with these twisted ways to scare the two people who love you most, it won’t be because I want to distance myself from you—you’ll be the one shoving me away! Yun Bao, tell me—don’t you love me the most? Didn’t you say you’d stay with me forever? So why are you pushing me away?!”

“*Sob*...no, Bro, that's not true...”

Seeing him cry again, Shi Zai tossed the belt aside, sighed, and pulled Yang Yun close, cradling the back of his head, and let him vent.

The smoking itself wasn't the real problem.

But Yang Yun was only sixteen—a kid who ought to be nothing but cute, yet he thought of using such methods to get attention. What about later? If he wanted to act out again, what would he turn to next? What if he got a real tattoo? What if he really did something bad? The consequences were unthinkable.

It wasn’t the fear of Shi Zai actually hitting him that scared Yang Yun—it was the fear of disappointing his brother. So he quickly confessed another layer of his thoughts:

“I wanted you both to care, but also… wuu… it’s because I’m immature. They all say I’m introverted, timid, and a pushover—that I don’t dare do anything. Even if I am like that, I hate it when people judge me that way… I… I used this method to prove that I’m not afraid of everything, that I’m not just dull and obedient… Brother, I think I am pretty outgoing and cheerful—you always praise me, so why do they say that stuff about me when I don’t play with them? Wuuu… it’s so annoying…”

……

It hit Shi Zai suddenly—he understood Yang Yun’s deeper growing pains—the struggle between being himself and being who others expected him to be.

“Yun Bao, look up and listen to me.”

“…Mhm…”

“Back in my broke days, I worked as a waiter in a restaurant and got mocked by rich people. But I never felt inferior—because in my eyes, the only thing they could boast about was money. Otherwise, why would they talk about nothing else? But I could give myself plenty of happiness and love. Some might see that as worthless, but to me back then, it was what kept me going. I wanted to see if there was love in this world that belonged to me—and then I found you two… What I’m saying is, as long as you have something inside that makes you content and happy, hold onto it. Let it support you. That way, what does it matter if others boast about the one thing they have over you?”

"..."

"Yun Bao, little bro, I'm not kidding you—your work is the best in the class. Don’t let them get under your skin, understand?"

Seeing Yang Yun still looked a bit confused, Shi Zai explained:

"The you who smokes and laughs with everyone, or the one who quietly becomes amazing—which one do you think they prefer? And which one do you prefer yourself?"

"...I get it! I get it! Little bro, you’re so awesome, so amazing! I really, really like you!"

As pink dumpling clung to him, clinging and rubbing against him, Shi Zai laughed:

"Heh, still saying 'but I’ve grown up'? Am I big now? Hmph, I’m bigger than you in every way that counts!"