Chapter 9 The Sun Is Dazzling

Chapter 9: The Sunlight is Dazzling

Over the next two days, Chi Suiyong would return to his own small cot after Chu Yan fell asleep. Although Chu Yan would show some displeasure upon waking to find him not in his bed, the nightly bedtime ritual was never missed, so he didn't mind too much.

One early morning, Chi Suiyong was awakened by a noise beside him. Opening his eyes, he met Chu Yan's clear, bright gaze.

He shifted slightly, noticing that the other's eyes followed his movement.

"Yong Yong, so this is what you look like."

Chi Suiyong paused in the middle of getting up. "Hmm? Can you see clearly now?"

Chu Yan sat cross-legged on the bed, his back to the blackout curtains, his hair slightly messy. "Mm, when I opened my eyes this morning, everything was very clear."

Chi Suiyong was the first person he saw after his vision fully recovered. He had watched quietly in the semi-darkness for a long time, feeling a deep sense of joy—not because of his restored sight, but because Yong Yong's appearance hadn't disappointed his expectations.

Whether handsome or not, before he had fully developed a sense of aesthetics for faces, he could only find answers by observing Chi Suiyong.

"Yong Yong, I think you're not bad-looking either."

"What?"

Chu Yan scratched his head. "I remember you said I was very good-looking before. I just looked in the mirror, then looked at you, so I think you're not bad-looking."

Chi Suiyong's initial guess had been spot on—this guy was narcissistic.

"Thanks, thanks for saying I'm not bad-looking."

Chi Suiyong got up and pressed the service bell. "Hello, please call Director Xing from Neurology. Tell him patient Chu Yan's vision has recovered and ask him to come check."

Chu Yan's eyes never left Chi Suiyong. Seeing him get out of bed, he followed suit.

"Yong Yong, where are you going?"

"To the bathroom, to wash up."

As per usual, the clingy Chu Yan would follow Chi Suiyong everywhere—even if he was showering or using the toilet, he'd drag a stool and sit outside the door, listening to make sure he hadn't gone far.

"Aren't you taking me with you?"

Chi Suiyong stopped and turned back. "Now that you can see, things like using the bathroom are private matters, so it's not really appropriate to go together anymore."

Chu Yan tilted his head. "Yong Yong, are you afraid I'll look at you?"

"Yes, I'm an adult, and adults value their privacy."

"Okay, you go ahead. I'll wait for you outside."

After washing up, Chi Suiyong opened the door to find Chu Yan standing right there. The door being pulled open seemed to fulfill his expectations, bringing a hint of a smile to his face. "Yong Yong is an adult and cares about privacy, but I'm not, so I won't close the door."

"Whatever you want." Chi Suiyong waved his hand.

It wasn't like he was going to look anyway.

The skincare products Yunshang had brought earlier—Chi Suiyong had never let him use them. Now that his vision had recovered, it was a good time to teach him, and it would also lighten his own daily workload.

Listening to the sounds inside, once he was sure Chu Yan had finished washing and wasn't engaging in any private activities, Chi Suiyong walked in. "It's autumn now. After washing your face in the morning, you need to put on some moisturizer, or your skin will get very dry."

Chi Suiyong picked up the largest bottle that looked most like a face cream, turning it over in his hands three hundred and sixty degrees without finding any instructions.

"Didn't it come with instructions?"

Chi Suiyong was focused on finding the instructions, but Chu Yan kept staring at his face.

The light in the room earlier had been poor, only giving a vague outline. Now the bathroom light was on, bright enough to see the tiny hairs on a person's face.

Chu Yan felt like he was walking through a September fog, and his approach to seeing Chi Suiyong clearly was like the fog dissipating entirely.

Chi Suiyong felt his scalp tighten under that gaze. He looked up and met Chu Yan's sharply focused eyes.

His heart gave a sudden thump, skipping a beat.

"This... do you know how to use it?"

Chu Yan took the bottle, his gaze still fixed on Chi Suiyong, but he unscrewed the cap and sniffed it. "This should be for the hands."

"How do you know?"

"The smell is familiar. I've smelled this scent on my hands before."

Chi Suiyong was half-convinced, so he picked up another bottle at random. "And this one?"

Chu Yan did the same, bringing it to his nose. "This one goes on the face."

"Wow..." Chi Suiyong took the bottle back and examined it again.

When his thumb brushed the bottom, he felt an uneven texture. Turning it over, he found a frosted pattern.

Two hands supporting a face, and the face was clearly male.

Chi Suiyong picked up the bottle Chu Yan had guessed earlier and looked at it—the frosted pattern showed two overlapping hands.

His sensitivity to smell and his memory were simply astonishing.

Chi Suiyong was starting to get curious about what he did.

"Well... you can use these here first."

"No, Yong Yong, you use some too. Let me find one that suits you."

With that, Chu Yan finally looked away from Chi Suiyong's face.

Chu Yan was like a magician, sniffing each bottle and jar on the counter one by one, finally settling on one with a creamy texture.

He grabbed Chi Suiyong's hand and squeezed some into his palm. "Yong Yong, use this."

"Why do you think this one suits me?"

Chu Yan himself wasn't sure. "I don't know."

Chi Suiyong was a bit mesmerized by him. He lifted his hand and sniffed—a faint scent of chamomile. "It smells nice."

"Does Yong Yong like it?"

"Mm, I like it."

"So all of these are mine?"

"Yes."

Great, they're all mine." After saying this, Chu Yan started fiddling with the bottles again, clearly very familiar with them.

Chi Suiyong watched quietly, feeling a bit puzzled.

In contrast to people, the afterglow of objects seemed more enduring in Chu Yan's post-amnesia behavior.

During the days at the hospital, Chu Yan gradually stopped resisting people introduced by Chi Suiyong who had no connection to his past, but he showed resistance to those truly connected to him.

Perhaps the lingering sensory impression of "objects" felt less threatening, while the memory anchors from people were always rooted in emotions. After all, since his amnesia, Chu Yan had chosen Chi Suiyong as his source of security precisely because of an "object"—

the perfume he used.

"Yong Yong, these are for you." Chu Yan picked out five bottles and tossed them into Chi Suiyong's arms.

Chi Suiyong, afraid they'd drop, held them steady. "I can't take them. These are your personal belongings."

"Precisely because they're my personal belongings, I can give them to you!"

That seemed reasonable. "But I can't just take your things for no reason."

"You didn't ask for them; I'm giving them to you. It's different."

Was this really the talk of someone with a brain injury? He really knows how to avoid the point and go off on tangents.

Chi Suiyong firmly refused, placing the bottles back on the counter one by one. "You giving is your choice; me not taking is mine."

Chu Yan stared intently at his face, trying to find the reason in his firmness, but under the artificial light, that face was pale and almost distorted. With his current memory bank, he couldn't process the rejection at all.

Before, when he couldn't see Chi Suiyong's expression, if Chi Suiyong fell silent, Chu Yan would subconsciously think he had done something wrong and that the other was angry. But now that he could see clearly, ruling out the only possibility he could think of, it felt like wandering into a maze.

He thought that if he couldn't give away these bottles, he wouldn't be happy all day.

"Why won't you take them? Didn't Yong Yong say he likes them?"

"I like them, but that doesn't mean I have to own them."

"I don't understand."

"Wait until you... wait until you grow up, and you'll know." Chi Suiyong rejected his heartfelt gesture, no longer wanting to meet Chu Yan's gaze in this confined space. "Hurry up and get yourself ready. The doctor will be here soon to check your eyes."

With that, he walked out.

Chu Yan watched Chi Suiyong's retreating figure. In the bathroom mirror, he saw a dazed, confused side profile—an expression at odds with his delicate, mature features. If the person in the mirror hadn't lost his memory, he would have seen that on his once chilled face, something out of season was growing.

Chu Yan turned back and continued fiddling with the bottles. Though these items didn't exist in his memory, that didn't stop him from handling them with ease.

He couldn't let the earlier incident go. Chu Yan was still thinking about how to change the other's mind and fulfill his own wish.

Children don't see themselves as selfish; they only look for reasons outside themselves.

"Is it because they've been used?"

"Yong Yong doesn't want things someone else has used?"

"I don't like that either..."

Chu Yan talked to himself in the mirror, at least answering himself, point by point.

Chu Yan's mind raced. He remembered that a few days ago, when his 'female friend' came by, Yong Yong had added her as a friend. Combining that with the information from their conversation, Chu Yan quickly hatched an idea.

Then he smiled at himself in the mirror. "That's what I'll do!"

"Yong Yong, I'm done. When is the doctor coming?"

When Chu Yan came out of the bathroom, the curtains in the room had all been pulled open. The floor-to-ceiling windows brought the entire room into unobstructed daylight, almost too bright. As Chu Yan raised his hand to block the light, he saw Chi Suiyong push the door open and come in.

He had gone to another room to change clothes: a brown half-turtleneck ribbed wool sweater paired with tailored casual trousers. His hair was slightly tidied, making him look much more neat and refreshed.

"Is it too dazzling?" Chi Suiyong hurried over to close the curtains again.

Chu Yan's arm shielded most of his view, leaving only Chi Suiyong bathed in light. Once his eyes adjusted, his vision filtered out all distractions. His sense of smell and hearing, which he had relied on to locate the other, were temporarily set aside, now all funneling into his sight.

Yong Yong in dim light, Yong Yong, starkly pale under artificial light in the bathroom, and now Yong Yong in natural daylight. In just one morning, someone he was meeting for the first time was presented to him in gentle layers, gradually coming into focus.

The sunlight was blinding.

But the Yong Yong moving before him was not.