Chapter 31 I Don’t Want to Have a Physical Reaction to You

Chapter 31: I Don’t Want to Have a Physical Reaction to You

The ski resort at Li Mountain was ridiculously vast, winding all the way from the mountainside down to the base, with one small steep slope after another. Chu Yan, while carrying Dr. Chi, skied with pure joy on his face.

When they charged down one of the steeper slopes, Chi Suiyong, having only glanced at the low-lying scenery for a moment, was jolted off the snowboard in a moment of carelessness.

Chu Yan stopped sharply, crouched down, and asked with concern, “Dr. Chi, are you okay?”

He was physically fine, but his heart was still pounding.

The screams of young men and women filled his ears, making his heart pound like a drum.

Chi Suiyong stood up, brushed the snow off his clothes, and revealed a grim look of facing death.

“Stay steady.”

Chu Yan pushed up his goggles. “What’s wrong?”

Without a word, Chi Suiyong walked around behind Chu Yan, grabbed his shoulders, and jumped directly onto him.

Chu Yan’s body lurched, but he quickly steadied himself and naturally hooked the legs that came around his waist.

“So you’ve come around!”

Chi Suiyong smiled. “Try being the one stuck in someone else’s crotch.”

“I thought you couldn’t let loose, Dr. Chi.”

“Look at all these people on the slopes—everyone’s bundled up tight, doing their own thing. Who’s going to care about me?” Chi Suiyong tightened his grip around Chu Yan’s neck, speaking frankly.

“Then let’s go down to the base in one go and take the cable car back to the hotel.”

“Alright, let’s get moving!”

Before his goggles were fully on, his breath formed white mist around his field of vision, blurring the distant and near scenery. Before starting, Chu Yan turned his head to glance at the arms locked around his neck.

From the moment Dr. Chi jumped onto him, his heart rate, already high from the exertion, increased even more. Chu Yan could feel it—this added increase was likely due to the weight of the person on his back.

Yes, Dr. Chi was a grown man; that weight was only natural.

Each time they went over a steep slope, Chu Yan would belatedly whistle, the sound bright and joyful.

Chi Suiyong no longer closed his eyes. He gazed at the high-altitude scenery, so different from before, as powdery snow swirled in the air, forming a small blizzard around their path. This airborne sensation made him hold onto the person in front of him even tighter.

He had never seen Chu Yan smile like this. There was no need to use the suspension bridge effect to explain the chaotic, intense emotions in his chest. He didn’t know how he had gotten so close to Chu Yan, like a beast released into the wild, in this open, unknown world, using the guise of friendship to satisfy the longing in his heart.

Chi Suiyong felt he was no longer able to climb out of this pit.

This willingness to let himself sink was at odds with his usual self-awareness, and a feeling of awe and dread grew within him.

But he had tried before—tried to stay away from this person. It was the other who kept approaching step by step, stirring up tumultuous waves in his heart.

What was he supposed to do next?

It seemed no matter what he did, he wouldn’t be in control.

Chi Suiyong’s mind was in a tangle, impossible to sort out.

After the last steep slope, Chu Yan seemed to have exhausted his strength. Once Dr. Chi got off his back, he lay down in the snow, pushed up his goggles, and smiled at him, panting.

“Was it fun, Dr. Chi?”

Chu Yan’s promise before getting on the snowboard had been fulfilled. Chi Suiyong looked up along the winding mountain to the very top, feeling that the winding path had been completed in an instant, leaving him wanting more.

“It was fun. Let’s come again tomorrow.”

Chi Suiyong pulled Chu Yan, who was lying in the snow, to his feet, and the two walked side by side before taking the cable car straight to the hotel.

Chu Yan had booked a first-floor suite with the best view of the scenery. There was only one room and one bed. In his mind, they had slept together before, so Dr. Chi probably wouldn’t mind.

Still, after leading Chi Suiyong into the suite, he explained, “It’s peak tourist season, so rooms are tight. It’s a bit of a squeeze, Dr. Chi, having to share a room with me.”

Dr. Chi looked around the suite. “Only one bed?”

Chu Yan nodded. “Yeah, but this round bed is pretty big. It’ll fit both of us.”

“……”

The hot spring pool was set by the window, steam rising against the snowy view. Chu Yan first peeled off his thick clothes, let down his hair, and then walked around the room bare-chested, wearing only trousers.

He took out two hot drinks, handing one to Dr. Chi. “Dr. Chi, would you like to eat dinner out, or order room service?”

Dr. Chi seemed captivated by the snow and pines outside. He walked to the floor-to-ceiling window and stood there for a while. “Let’s eat in the room. I won’t go out.”

“Alright. It’s not even five yet. Let’s soak in the pool for a bit first.”

With that, he stepped down the stairs into the hot spring.

“Dr. Chi, aren’t you coming in?”

Dr. Chi turned to look at him, his expression obscured by the backlight. “In a bit.”

That “bit” stretched into nearly half an hour. Dr. Chi first went to the bathroom, and soon after, a faint smell of smoke drifted out. Chu Yan had been in the pool for a long time, feeling the suite was empty and quiet. His gaze had no fixed point, just following the direction of the smoke.

When the other came out, “Dr. Chi, you don’t have to hide your smoke. I don’t mind.”

Dr. Chi gave a faint smile. “Thanks.”

Then he finally started undressing.

But his movements were very slow.

The sky had darkened, but the snow light had become more pronounced. However, the bright light above the hot spring pool disrupted the beautiful snowy scene outside the window.

Chi Suiyong dimmed the light above the pool, making the semi-naked figure in the water—which wouldn’t stay still even in his peripheral vision—less glaring.

Chu Yan urged, “Dr. Chi, why aren’t you coming in yet?”

Chi Suiyong saw the frankness on his face and held back his words.

He couldn’t avoid it, yet it was hard to face that fine view openly. This timidity had occupied his mind ever since he entered the room, pure torture.

Chi Suiyong felt he should warn the other: if he continued to remain unguarded, he couldn’t blame Chi Suiyong for finding him appetizing.

Like Chu Yan, Chi Suiyong changed into the hotel-provided hot spring trousers and also went into the pool bare-chested.

They faced each other. “Chu Yan, do you still remember Xia Li?”

Chu Yan twisted his wet hair ends, found them troublesome, and raised his hand to tie up his long hair. “Of course I do. He’s Dr. Chi’s ex-boyfriend.”

Dr. Chi recalled the two times he met Xia Li and asked, "Has he come to pester you again?"

"I saw him once after that. He brought his daughter in for a checkup."

Chu Yan swirled the water in front of him. "Then what do you think about that, Dr. Chi?"

"Chu Yan, I like men."

Those few short words carried weight, echoing across the rippling water. Chu Yan looked blankly at Chi Suiyong, not getting why he was bringing this up or how it connected to the present moment.

But then the scene from earlier at the center of the wetland park lake flooded back into his mind.

He had been out of his mind, wanting to kiss Dr. Chi's cheek to lift his spirits, but it had the opposite effect. Dr. Chi was very angry and even said he would never possibly like him.

That was all he could think of, nothing more, and it had no connection to the current conversation.

"I know that! So what?"

Dr. Chi's expression was a bit helpless. "So what? You walk around me half-naked, testing my willpower?"

"Huh?"

Chu Yan had no experience with this. He had never felt attracted to anyone, man or woman. Just now, Dr. Chi had also paraded around naked in front of him, which he thought was perfectly normal.

"If you can't hold yourself back, are you going to jump me, Dr. Chi?"

Chi Suiyong pressed his forehead. "You really don't care at all!"

Not only did Chu Yan not care, he even moved closer. His hair was tied up high, his face flushed from the steam. He said very seriously, "Dr. Chi likes men, but that doesn't affect us being friends, does it? Or do you not want to make male friends?"

"That's not what I meant. I just want you to be careful. I don't want to have a physical reaction in front of you."

Chu Yan pushed the fruit plate beside him into Chi Suiyong's hands. "In your eyes, Dr. Chi, am I very attractive?"

"Yes. Not just me, but in everyone's eyes, you are."

"It's just a shell."

"Beauty clouds judgment."

"It's okay, Dr. Chi. I don't mind any of that. It's a normal physical reaction. You're a doctor, you don't need to be shy about it."

Chi Suiyong thought, what was he going to do with this forthright Chu Yan?

As for Chu Yan, he was thinking, if Dr. Chi really had a physical reaction in front of him, what should he do?

The two were on completely different wavelengths, and continuing the conversation would be exhausting.

Chi Suiyong shut his eyes, wishing he could sink to the bottom of the hot spring.

The topic was out in the open, but they seemed to have no effect. However, one thing gave Dr. Chi some peace of mind.

During Chu Yan's time at He'an Hospital, Dr. Chi had worried that after recovering, Chu Yan might become distant or even disgusted with him because of their accidental intimate behavior earlier. After all, on the day Chu Yan was discharged, his cool, distant demeanor made it seem like he wanted to cut ties for good.

Now it seemed like just a normal stress response.

They enjoyed the snowy view while soaking in the hot spring for a bit. Chu Yan had gotten in before Chi Suiyong and after soaking for a long time, got a bit lightheaded, so he got up first to take a shower.

The room was filled with the scent he had been longing for days. It was barely noticeable, but what he saw affected his sense of smell. Every corner of the suite bore traces of Dr. Chi's presence.

"Dr. Chi, I'm sleepy. I'll take a nap first."

"Not eating dinner?"

"Later, ..."

Chu Yan burrowed into the covers. Sleepiness washed over him like waves, crashing against his tense nerves and limbs that had been tense for days.

Dr. Chi's voice was also swept into the sound of the waves.

"Your hair is still half-wet. Are you just going to sleep like that?"

"Get up first. Dry your hair."

"Chu Yan, Chu Yan..."

Then, the pool water around him steamed, giving off waves of steam. The sound of whooshing air enveloped his ears. Finally, wrapped in this warmth and comfort, Chu Yan fell into a deep sleep.