Chapter 34 Confession

Chapter 34 Confession

As the president of Yitai, where perfume was the top seller year after year, how could he not know what it meant to give someone perfume?

But back then, he hadn't thought much about it.

Chu Yan knew he had caused trouble.

Or perhaps his own going along with it had led Dr. Chi to misunderstand.

But that misunderstanding had to be built on affection—Chu Yan could tell that Dr. Chi really seemed to like him.

No, he couldn't use the word "sense." He knew his feelings were always slow to catch up; Dr. Chi's liking for him felt more like a straightforward visual fact.

Dr. Chi's face was slightly flushed, and the intense, probing heat in his gaze wasn't lost on Chu Yan.

Should he step back, or meet him head-on?

Different choices would lead to different outcomes.

This morning, he had already made up his mind: no matter where things went between him and Dr. Chi, he would accept it and handle it.

Insomnia was the only issue troubling Chu Yan now. When or if it would get better was unknown. The cure was right in front of him, and if he took it, he'd have to give something back. He'd been doing that all along—sharing everything he could.

But that everything didn't include himself.

Dr. Chi didn't seem to want anything else, either. His gaze was filled with nothing but Chu Yan himself.

That realization shook Chu Yan. And because of that, his heart started racing.

"Among Yitai's perfumes, different scents have different symbolic meanings."

Chi Suiyong shook his head. "That's not what I'm asking about. I'm asking about the meaning behind giving someone perfume. Chu Yan, do you know or not?"

"I know."

"And you still say you want to give me perfume? Aren't you afraid I'll misunderstand?"

Chu Yan was backed into a corner. "I didn't think that far ahead."

"But you've made me overthink." His voice rose, and both his face and mind grew hot. "So, how are you going to take it back? Or do you want to hear my response?"

"Go ahead."

Chi Suiyong's fingers hurt. Perhaps because his blood was flowing faster now, the pain grew hotter, turning from a faint sting into a dense, compact throb—as if reason had found a weak point and was trying to wake him through the pain, to stop him from saying what came next.

But some things were already on the verge of being spoken. No matter how much they were glossed over or hidden, they'd eventually come out in another form later.

Friends?

Chi Suiyong didn't think he was masochistic enough to be friends with someone he liked. No matter how strong his reason, it couldn't withstand the push of the right time, place, and person.

"Chu Yan, I don't want to be just friends anymore."

Hearing this, Chu Yan's pupils constricted in shock—much like the time at He'an Hospital when the other party had said they wanted to end their relationship. But that feeling only lasted a moment; in the blink of an eye, it was gone.

Chu Yan was lost again. "Not friends..."

Chi Suiyong took half a step forward, his right hand resting on Chu Yan's arm, then slowly sliding up to his shoulder, then the side of his neck, and finally, with unstoppable momentum, cupping the back of his head.

His palm covered the smooth, cool length of hair, and the deeper his hand pressed, the closer it got to the warmth of its owner.

Chu Yan's lips were beautifully shaped—a narrow upper lip and a lower lip that, from the middle, swelled into two full, plump curves, their color vivid, especially when moist.

Chi Suiyong gave himself a moment to hesitate, but his gaze remained fixed on Chu Yan's lower lip. That hint of color burned away what little reason he had left.

He applied pressure, pulling the other's head down.

Turning his head, Chi Suiyong pressed into that softness.

A brief, fleeting touch—like drinking poison to quench his thirst—because he didn't know how Chu Yan would respond.

"This is what I mean."

"I like you, so I can't just be friends with you."

Faced with this confession—both words and actions—Chu Yan didn't react with the usual fluster of someone being confessed to. In fact, he felt nothing at all. If he had to analyze it, it was like those tough problems the teacher assigned in the morning back in school—he racked his brain but couldn't solve them. By the time he was about to hand in his answer sheet, he'd figured out the format but had no time left to write the steps.

It was just a shift in relationship. No need for such detailed steps. After all, the outcome was what he'd expected.

His silence made Chi Suiyong press further.

"Do you dislike what I just did to you?"

Chu Yan shook his head. "No."

That one word was like pumping thick oxygen into a fiercely burning chamber. The fragile, ready-to-shatter glass was ground to dust in the roar of the blaze. Tongues of flame climbed through the holes, licking the outer walls, surrounding everything from the inside out.

Chi Suiyong felt heat even in his fingertips.

Chu Yan didn't flinch or look away. His gaze was clear as he watched Chi Suiyong. Even if it was a misinterpretation, Chi Suiyong took it as Chu Yan waiting for him to make the next move.

Their breaths intertwined, as if trying to ferment something deeper. Chi Suiyong leaned in again, using the tip of his tongue to lick Chu Yan's lower lip.

Indeed, when moist, the color was even more beautiful, even more intoxicating.

"And what about this?"

Chu Yan gave the same answer as before. "I don't dislike it."

"Chu Yan, I always thought you were straight." Chi Suiyong steadied his trembling breath, trying to calm himself. "So, are you?"

Chu Yan didn't understand. "Does it matter if I'm straight or not?"

"Of course it does. At least to me. I can't fall into the same trap twice."

"Who was it the last time?"

"You've met him—Xia Li."

Chi Suiyong remembered how Chu Yan had comforted him that day at the wetland park.

At that time, Chu Yan had told him he should like someone better. Just a few months later, it seemed Chu Yan had become that better person worth liking.

Comparing the two now felt like worlds apart.

Seeing Chi Suiyong lost in thought, Chu Yan felt that what was happening had been interrupted. So he asked, "Dr. Chi, is that it?"

"What do you mean, 'is that it'?"

"You said you care about whether I'm straight or not. Can you come to a conclusion just from a kiss? I don't think it should be that simple."

The arrow shot under the frank flirtation hit the bull's-eye squarely, the whirring fletching piercing straight through to his chest, churning his insides and heat sweeping through him. Chi Suiyong was defenseless, his body pressing close on instinct.

Amid the panic, there was also an unyielding determination, a willingness to face death. Chi Suiyong clumsily but fervently deepened the kiss.

Feeling his back being gathered, closing the gap between them completely, the strength of the arms on his back made him stop tensing up, and he gradually relaxed against him.

Chu Yan, in the process of sober acceptance, asked himself whether he was repulsed, dissecting the details, among which a strange feeling came, flowing tenderly into his blood, awakening the dormant senses in his body.

Chu Yan watched Chi Suiyong's closed eyes and slightly trembling eyelashes, the porcelain-white skin under such close distance giving a sense of unreality.

The other was sunk in exploration, thankfully without resistance during the process.

That heart suspended in the air was being sawed back and forth against a taut rope, bringing a dull, pulling pain, yet just as it was about to break, a strange flower bud sprouted, almost piercing through his back to join the five fingers wandering on his shoulder blades.

After releasing the long-accumulated desire through this kiss, both were a bit out of breath. Chi Suiyong raised his head slightly to check the result of his probing, "You never pushed me away. Can I take it that you're not averse to this level either?"

Chu Yan smiled faintly at him, "Yes."

"Then... do you find it abrupt?"

Chu Yan blinked, as if thinking, "A little. Because in my memory, Dr. Chi is someone who keeps his cool."

"That depends on whom it's with. I'm usually not the one to initiate."

"Oh..." Chu Yan moved his hand up, his index finger slowly feeling for the crown of the other's head. He pressed on it, and sure enough, as in his memory, Chi Suiyong's body trembled slightly. "Dr. Chi has always been passive before?"

Chi Suiyong seemed to have his pressure point pressed, unable to move. "Your question is a bit of a mood killer."

"I'm off topic. Dr. Chi, please continue."

"Take your hand off first."

"Which one?"

Chi Suiyong reached out and grabbed that restless hand, then pinned it against his hip. "Since you're not averse, then listen carefully to what I have to say next."

Chu Yan turned sideways, pressing his back against the cabinet door, and placed his free hand on the frosted glass, trying to use the texture to forcefully suppress the impending sense of detachment within his body.

That strange feeling just now had only lingered for a moment, like a passing dream, and when it left, it also pulled away all his senses from his body.

At this moment, he felt as if he was standing outside the two of them, watching himself trying hard to engage but still appearing somewhat dull, and Dr. Chi, with his earnest and serious expression—these two people were not on the same wavelength.

Practice makes perfect; his command had worked.

Chu Yan inferred that this aspect, which he didn't care about, was the most important to the other party.

It was a bit troublesome, but he didn't want to show that he was losing patience.

"Dr. Chi, please go ahead."

His wrist was firmly wrapped. Fortunately, his own pulse and Dr. Chi's trembling fingertips were at the same frequency.

"Actually, on the day you were discharged from the hospital, I thought we wouldn't have any more contact in the future, because that's the feeling you gave me at the time." Chi Suiyong recalled that stage, his breathing becoming heavy. "But when you came to the dorm that day, I wavered a bit, thinking it wouldn't be so bad to see each other occasionally, even though it's not fair to myself."

"Chu Yan, can you tell me why you came to see me that day?"

Chu Yan traced back in his memory to that day with the question.

The reason was clear: the scarf that had helped him sleep multiple times had been washed by the hourly worker, leaving him unable to sleep, and he needed a new lovey.

But he couldn't answer Dr. Chi like that, yet he didn't want to lie either.

"If I remember correctly, Dr. Chi didn't return to the dorm until nearly seven that day, and I was already waiting there since five o'clock."

"So you waited in the wind for two hours?"

"Mm..."

"Why did you make a special trip to give me the sweater?"

"I already said that at the time, because it suits Dr. Chi."

Chi Suiyong didn't know how to press further. The result was clearly right in front of him, but Chu Yan's answers all evaded the main point, never giving him the words he most wanted to hear.

Was he too impatient?

After all, from their past conversations, Chu Yan was someone with no experience in romance; his heart was built with thick walls. Now he was willing to make an exception and chisel a hole for him—that was already commendable.

"Because you thought it suited me, so you wanted to put it in my hands. Chu Yan, can I understand it that way?"

"Probably... that's the idea."

"Then do you want to give yourself to me too?"