Chapter 49: Remember That I Truly Love You

Chapter 49: Remember That I Truly Love You

Shu Hanqing traced the thread of surveillance that Lei Zheng had mentioned earlier, and a chill crept down his spine.

"...Besides the two of us, would anyone else know about this? Would Mu Ye know? When I left, Mu Ye was still rushing back to the Central Base. Logically speaking, a purge mission of that level should take at most a week to conclude."

Hearing Mu Ye's name unexpectedly come from Shu Hanqing's mouth, a flicker of guilt flickered in Lei Zheng's eyes.

Lei Zheng awkwardly averted his gaze from Shu Hanqing's face, cracked his knuckles, and said in a transparent attempt to deflect the topic: "Why are you worrying about him out of nowhere? He's at least a high-ranking superpowered individual with a few men under his command. What monster could possibly swallow him whole?"

Shu Hanqing wasn't thrown off by his attempt to change the subject, and said worriedly: "Anyone who deviates from the plot set in the book could have their data wiped... Rong Hua is a perfect example—he had his memories erased. And lately, that so-called plot system in my head has been completely silent."

It was as if the plot system had already cast him aside like a discarded pawn.

This made Shu Hanqing deeply uneasy.

After hearing this, Lei Zheng thought to himself that it was no wonder that Rong Hua kid had been acting so strangely ever since being brought back to the inner city.

He had genuinely assumed it was just because the boy was young, that his affections and grudges came and went quickly, and that he had simply lost interest in Shu Hanqing.

Turns out his data had been wiped. So after all that, he'd gotten excited over nothing.

But was that entity really that powerful?

Lei Zheng pressed in a low voice: "Besides not letting you interfere with the plot, has it... imposed any other harsh conditions on you before?"

Shu Hanqing shook his head.

Lei Zheng: "Does that thing lurking in the shadows think it's a god? Wanting to control all of us so high-handedly. I've clawed my way through mountains of corpses hundreds of times in both this life and the last, seen it all—why should I have to live according to some spineless script they wrote!"

And especially revolving around Rong Hua—heaven knows, ever since Lei Zheng had seen him again, his fists had been itching for a fight on more than one occasion.

Shu Hanqing was fraught with worry.

"By the way, Rong Hua... has Rong Hua woken up in the past two days? How is he doing now?"

Hearing another man's name from the person in front of him again and again, the docile demeanor Lei Zheng had put on while apologizing vanished in an instant, replaced by a predatory air.

A tall shadow loomed over him, and Lei Zheng caged Shu Hanqing beneath him in a posture of absolute possession.

He sat with his back to the light, his usually sharp features now sinking into deep shadow.

Lei Zheng cupped Shu Hanqing's face, closing the distance until their breaths intertwined, his tone jealous and forlorn: "Shu Hanqing, the moment you woke up, all you do is worry about them—worry about Mu Ye, worry about Rong Hua. Why don't you ever think to ask about me, the one right here in front of you?"

"When you died in the last life, my heart crumbled to dust along with yours. When you saw me in this life, you looked at me with that look—you despised me, didn't you? In your heart, you've hated me all along, haven't you?"

Lei Zheng was as abject as a condemned prisoner kneeling before the executioner's block, awaiting his doom.

Shu Hanqing's long lashes, dense as crow feathers, trembled slightly, framing ink-black pupils like polished jade.

"Lei Zheng... I truly hated you deeply."

"You must not know—when the purple-gold lightning pierced through my back and surged through my organs... just how excruciating the pain was."

For that alone, Shu Hanqing had hated Lei Zheng with every fiber of his being.

Hearing those words, Lei Zheng gasped as if a bullet had hit him square in the chest.

"...I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I really didn't know... that it was you. Later... later, when I swept the battlefield, I watched you lying there lifeless..."

Even now, Lei Zheng's fingers still twitched at the memory: "At that moment, I wished I were dead too."

And that was indeed the truth.

In the previous life, Lei Zheng had indeed perished alongside Shu Hanqing, buried in that blood-soaked field of the dead.

When Lei Zheng spoke of those days, he trembled uncontrollably.

"At the time, not a single one of my men dared to make a sound," Lei Zheng said, his voice panicked. "That was when I learned that when a person reaches the absolute peak of pain, when it's so unbearable they can barely go on living—not a single tear falls. I sat there holding you, at a complete loss."

"When I was very young, I broke my favorite toy and wailed loud enough to shake the heavens. My mother would tell me, it's alright, everything in this world that breaks can be fixed, can be restored to its original state. But... but I broke you, Shu Hanqing." Lei Zheng's eyes were bloodshot. "I didn't know how to fix you, I didn't know how to bring you back... so many people were watching me, but not a single one could help me."

Shu Hanqing looked at him, and without a word, he could easily picture the confusion and desolation Lei Zheng had felt back then.

From the very first day the two had met in the previous life, Lei Zheng had always appeared to everyone as that aloof, all-powerful ruler—when had he ever been so broken?

Shu Hanqing: "So... at that time, you didn't want to live either?"

"Yeah."

"Before that, I was planning how to overthrow those obstinate old fossils. I planned to take you far away. I figured you'd be furious if you found out. Actually, I should have bound you and dragged you back the moment you went behind my back to see Jiang Gu. I wouldn't have cared if you hated me, wouldn't have cared if you loathed me—I should have forged the strongest cage, locked you inside, clipped your wings, and made it so you could never fly out of my grasp for the rest of your life."

Lei Zheng's breath was heavy and scorching, spraying again and again against Shu Hanqing's pale ear and vulnerable nape.

Shu Hanqing knew Lei Zheng too well. Some words spoken from this madman's mouth were never mere threats—they were things he had genuinely weighed and resolved to carry out back then.

He just hadn't gotten the chance before Shu Hanqing died.

"After you were gone, I felt... everything was meaningless. Pointless. Truly pointless."

"...This isn't the past life anymore, Lei Zheng."

Hating someone meant burning every ounce of your flesh and blood as fuel—it was too exhausting.

Saying it was water under the bridge still left a bitter taste in Shu Hanqing's mouth.

But if he truly wanted to assign blame piece by piece, to settle the blood debts of those years, it seemed that upon deeper examination, no one was truly at fault.

The fault lay only in timing—why did all the world's malice, coincidences, and misunderstandings have to converge at that one fatal moment?

Shu Hanqing: "...And besides, I'm with Mu Ye now... I don't want to betray him. He was also forcibly stripped of his memories—he's suffered no less than anyone else."

The instant he heard that name, a shadow of dark fury surged in Lei Zheng's eyes, as if he might lunge and devour someone in the next second.

But he merely suppressed that viciousness, slowly released his grip, and asked: "Then what about me... do you really feel nothing for me at all?"

How was Shu Hanqing supposed to answer?

When no response came, Lei Zheng stubbornly and plaintively repeated in a low voice: "Really nothing at all, Hanqing?"

The grief and unwillingness in his eyes were so intense they threatened to spill over.

Lei Zheng's rough palm had somehow found its way to Shu Hanqing's lower back. The slightly cool palm, through the thin fabric of his clothes, sent shivers and heat through him.

Shu Hanqing's waist went weak from his touch, and he self-deceptively lowered his lashes, refusing to look at Lei Zheng again—but then Lei Zheng's voice pressed on in his ear: "What about Rong Hua then? If that kid ever wakes up, could you say such heartless words to him too? Or is it... that you're only this cruel to me alone?"

Shu Hanqing cut him off: "...These things can't be lumped together. Stop it. Lei Zheng, I don't want to talk about this!"

Lei Zheng knew his limits after all, and didn't dare push the man to the point of completely burning bridges.

Patience.

You make mistakes, you pay the price.

Lei Zheng knelt on the floor, insisting on putting Shu Hanqing's shoes on for him.

Shu Hanqing awkwardly said it wasn't necessary—he wasn't crippled, why all this fuss over him?

Lei Zheng's face clearly said, "Refuse my help and you're insulting me," so Shu Hanqing just let him have his way.

From where Shu Hanqing sat, Lei Zheng kneeling before him looked like a drawn, powerful bow. The top button of his shirt was undone, and with each breath he took as he leaned forward, a good chunk of his solid, muscular chest was subtly exposed.

Shu Hanqing's gaze fell on the fingers tying his shoelaces—clean and unmarked, without the vicious, terrifying scars from their past life.

Shu Hanqing sighed inwardly, mocking himself. How could he possibly have no feelings for this man?

In their past life, Lei Zheng had stripped away his youthful innocence—brash yet gentle—guiding him through sweat-soaked passion and into the adult world.

He had fought so desperately, clawed and scrambled—all his ambition and effort, in the end, were just to earn a word of praise from this man.

Every look he'd once given Lei Zheng was full of adoration and trust. But fate had played a cruel trick, leaving them so bloody and battered.

Lei Zheng withdrew his hand and stood up, telling Shu Hanqing to keep it under wraps for now—he'd personally send people to look into it quietly.

Shu Hanqing nodded.

The churning emotions left Shu Hanqing exhausted. He said in a low voice, dismissing Lei Zheng, that he needed time alone to calm his chaotic, about-to-explode mind.

Lei Zheng didn't leave immediately.

Just before leaving, as if he couldn't hold back any longer, he yanked Shu Hanqing into his arms and hugged him tight.

"Baby, even if you hate me, resent me, it's fine. Just don't lock me out of your world entirely. Remember, I really do love you."

Shu Hanqing looked up at him, burned by the intense, almost tangible emotion in Lei Zheng's eyes. He quickly looked away, feeling he couldn't face those eyes so full of deep affection.

Shu Hanqing: "...Got it."

Shu Hanqing tried calling out to the Plot Guide in his mind, but there was no response.

Two days later, Yan Shenyun told him to come in for the drug trial.

It was the experimental drug the lab had been whispering about, the one to boost superpowers—had it really been this long and it was still in trials?

Shu Hanqing casually unbuttoned a few buttons, pulling his collar aside to reveal the stubborn dark Thunder Mark still lingering on his shoulder.

But the color of those markings had faded quite a bit compared to before.

At this rate, it wouldn't be long before these Thunder Marks—symbols of some kind of claim—disappeared completely.

Lei Zheng had somehow caught wind of it and came bustling over to join the fun.

Yan Shenyun's people couldn't stop him—he was too big and imposing. Yi Ran said, "Officer Lei, this area isn't open to visitors."

Lei Zheng said, "...What? It's not like I'm an outsider."

With that, he squeezed in, staring at that patch of skin on Shu Hanqing, his heart aching with regret.

In his eyes, if only that mark could stay forever—anyone with half a brain would know Shu Hanqing was marked all over by Lei Zheng.

Watching Shu Hanqing pull his clothes lower and lower, Lei Zheng couldn't help but stride over, reach out, and tug the collar back up, saying with a sour tone, "It's just a shot, why do you have to pull it down that far?"

Yan Shenyun turned his head, looking at him like he was a hopeless lunatic: "Who let him in?"

Yi Ran innocently waved her hands from the sidelines.

Shu Hanqing, as if deliberately going against him, yanked his clothes down even further with his fingers, revealing most of his delicate collarbone.

He glanced sideways, his voice cold, and said to Lei Zheng, "Go stand further away."

Under Shu Hanqing's gaze, Lei Zheng didn't dare make a peep, obediently stepping back a few paces, planted there like a stone guardian.

Yan Shenyun turned back, reassuring Shu Hanqing: "Don't be nervous, it won't hurt much. It'll be over in a second. If you feel any discomfort afterward, tell me anytime."

Shu Hanqing nodded.

The moment the needle came out, before he could even toss the cotton swab, Lei Zheng rushed over in one stride, insistently buttoning Shu Hanqing's shirt back up, one button at a time, snug and tight.

As he buttoned, Lei Zheng asked Yan Shenyun, "What exactly did you just inject?"

Shu Hanqing's heart lurched.

This high-risk experimental banned drug, used to forcibly boost superpowers, couldn't be revealed.

Shu Hanqing felt this was his way of repaying Yan Shenyun—his own business. If Lei Zheng found out, he'd go ballistic: "Nothing much. I was hurt before; this is a superpower repair agent."

Yan Shenyun didn't call him out on it.

The drug hit fast. Shu Hanqing had just pushed himself up from the desk, barely steady, when after two steps his legs suddenly gave out and he tilted off balance.

Lei Zheng was quick, grabbing Shu Hanqing's hand.

"You okay? How do you manage to trip just from walking?"

Shu Hanqing leaned into him, his nose full of that familiar scent, and pulled Lei Zheng toward the exit, desperate to avoid any questions: "Professor Yan, we'll be heading out for today."

Before the words even died down, Shu Hanqing hurriedly dragged Lei Zheng out.

Lei Zheng let himself be pulled, watching Shu Hanqing hold his hand, and the gloom that had weighed on him for so long vanished in an instant.

In the last moment as they crossed the threshold, Lei Zheng couldn't resist glancing back at Yan Shenyun, flashing a smug, triumphant smile of pure arrogance.

Yan Shenyun: "..."