Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Ji Yunshu was silent for a moment, unsure whether she felt more disappointed or relieved.

A tangle of emotions surged up, and she couldn't tell which one outweighed the other. She wasn't pregnant—that was indeed a bit disappointing—but she also felt inexplicably relieved, as if she truly wasn't ready for a child to arrive just yet.

Since marrying Pei Yufeng, they hadn't been trying to avoid it, but they also hadn't been keeping track of her cycle. The doctor had previously said her body wasn't in bad shape, just slightly anemic—low qi and blood could make it harder to conceive—and advised her to take good care of herself. These past days, Pei Yufeng had gone out of his way to brew soups for her, cook meals, and make sure she drank brown sugar water, so she hadn't thought much about it, feeling that just letting nature take its course was fine.

But now, seeing that streak of red, Ji Yunshu realized that deep down, she had still been quietly hoping for a child. Though it was just as well that she wasn't pregnant—she'd only been on the island for under two months, and they'd just gotten the house settled. If she had gotten pregnant, it would've been another mad scramble.

These thoughts ran through her head in the span of a moment, but a more practical problem snapped her back to the present—there were no sanitary pads in the bathroom. The ones she'd brought from the capital were all in the cabinet upstairs in the bedroom, and she'd dashed out in such a hurry that she hadn't grabbed anything.

Ji Yunshu cracked the bathroom door open a crack and poked half her face out. Pei Yufeng had followed her downstairs and was standing not far from the bathroom door, clearly bewildered by her suddenly shoving past him and dashing off. His brow was slightly furrowed.

Pei Yufeng's gaze had been tracking her the whole time, his feet already unconsciously taking a step toward the bathroom. When he saw her poke her head out, his expression changed from confusion to concern: "What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"

"Brother Pei—" Ji Yunshu's voice was much lower than usual, tinged with embarrassment and a hint of urgency. "Could you... could you grab me a sanitary pad? It's in the bottom drawer of the bedroom dresser, wrapped in blue cloth."

Pei Yufeng stood still, seeming not to register at first what Ji Yunshu was asking for. But soon he turned and headed upstairs, then stopped after two steps and came back, his voice more strained than usual: "The bottom drawer of the bedroom dresser?"

"Yes, yes, go get it, quick." Ji Yunshu felt awkward, unsure whether Pei Yufeng would be able to find it.

Ji Yunshu retreated back into the bathroom, clutching her lower belly. Only now did she feel a dull, heavy ache starting to settle in her lower belly. She'd had menstrual cramps since she was young—He Qiuxia said she took after her mother—and every time her period came, she'd be stuck in bed for the first day. With nearly two months having passed without one, she'd almost forgotten what cramps felt like. Now that it had arrived unexpectedly, the pain hadn't fully set in yet, but that heavy, dragging sensation was already warning her the pain was on its way.

Footsteps sounded on the stairs again, Pei Yufeng's steps quick and hurried, and he was back at the bathroom door in no time. He stopped outside, knocked, and slipped the blue cloth bundle through the gap: "Is this it?"

Ji Yunshu took it and unwrapped it. Inside the blue cloth were four sanitary pads neatly folded—the ones she'd brought from the capital, washed clean, plus two brand-new ones that had never been used. She set the bundle on her lap and let out a breath: "Yes, thank you."

Ji Yunshu closed the bathroom door, took care of business, washed her hands, and opened the door to come out. Pei Yufeng was standing right outside, leaning against the hallway wall. He turned his head the moment he heard the door open. He walked over and steadied her, hands on her shoulders, asking with concern, "Does your belly hurt?"

"Not really yet," Ji Yunshu answered honestly, gripping the doorframe as she stepped out. Her legs were still weak—half from last night, half because her body was just naturally run-down from her period starting.

Pei Yufeng scooped her up and carried her back to the bed, pulling the blanket up over her belly. By now, the heavy ache in her lower belly was gradually intensifying, like an invisible hand punching her from the inside. Ji Yunshu let out a soft hiss and lay back down, not wanting to move.

Seeing Ji Yunshu clutching her belly, the color had drained from her lips, Pei Yufeng turned and went downstairs. Within a few minutes, he was back with a steaming cup of brown sugar and ginger tea: "Drink some of this."

Ji Yunshu was helped up by Pei Yufeng to sit and took the cup. The brown sugar and ginger tea was dark in color, with a ginger kick so strong it stung the nose—he must have sliced up several thick pieces of old ginger and boiled them in. She sipped it slowly, the hot tea sliding down her throat, warming her stomach, and the heavy ache in her lower belly seemed to ease up a little.

Pei Yufeng rubbed the top of Ji Yunshu's head. "You take it easy these next few days. If you need anything, just tell me—I'll take care of it."

"I don't really do much around the house anyway," Ji Yunshu mumbled, her voice fading out. "Mm... I want to sleep for a bit. And I kind of want some Peking duck."

Ji Yunshu knew the second half of that sentence was a pipe dream, but she just remembered she hadn't had it in ages and wanted to mention it. Where on Qiongzhou Island would you even find Peking duck? The conditions here weren't suitable for making it at all—everything was braised duck, soy-sauce duck, or white-cut duck.

Ji Yunshu didn't dwell on it and soon fell asleep.

Pei Yufeng sat by the bed, watching Ji Yunshu curl up under the blanket, her lashes casting a soft, quiet shadow on her cheeks, her breathing growing long and even.

He gently picked up the empty cup of brown sugar and ginger tea, pressed the back of his fingers to her forehead to confirm she had no fever, then quietly went downstairs.

Pei Yufeng rummaged through the cabinet for ration coupons for non-staple foods, a few meat coupons, and poultry and egg coupons, then stuffed a handful of White Rabbit candies into his pocket and pushed his bicycle out the door. Ji Yunshu's words had been mumbled, her voice growing softer and softer, but Pei Yufeng had heard them—she said she wanted to eat roast duck.

The two had been married for nearly two months now, and had been on the island for over a month. Ji Yunshu had never been away from home this long. Pei Yufeng knew that although she never showed it, she was probably a little homesick. Now that she wasn't feeling well and he couldn't share her pain, his worry turned into doing everything he could to make her wish come true.

There was no roast duck on Qiongzhou Island. The cafeteria didn't make it, the supply cooperative didn't sell it. The state-run restaurant in Yuecheng had it, but the boat ride there and back would take most of the day, and by the time he got back with it, it'd be stone cold. Pei Yufeng thought it over and finally settled on asking the head chef at the cadre cafeteria to help make one. The cafeteria had a roasting oven—he just wasn't sure how it would turn out.

As for the duck itself, the logistics department had just brought in a batch of live ducks from the farm last week, so there should still be some available. He could trade meat and poultry coupons with the supply officer who ran the farm.

Pei Yufeng hurried over to the logistics department and traded for a live duck. The supply officer loaded the duck into a bamboo cage and handed it over, giving him a second look: "Deputy Regiment Commander Pei, why are you coming in person to get a duck today? Didn't you just receive one a while back?"

"That one was stewed. This one's for something different." Pei Yufeng hung the bamboo cage on the back of his bicycle without saying more.

Pei Yufeng brought the live duck to the cadre cafeteria. The head chef there, surnamed Zhou, was in his fifties and had also come to the island from elsewhere. He'd been working in the military for over twenty years and could cook many regional home-style dishes. It wasn't mealtime, so he was sitting by the stove munching on fried peanuts. When he saw Pei Yufeng walk into the kitchen carrying a live duck, he crunched down on the peanut and walked over curiously.

"Deputy Regiment Commander Pei, what are you doing with a live duck? We're not butchering any ducks in the cafeteria today." Chef Zhou leaned in with interest.

"I'd like to ask you to help me make a Peking duck." Pei Yufeng set the duck down by the sink and got straight to the point.

Chef Zhou froze for a moment, then looked as if he'd heard something completely outlandish, his eyes going wide: "Peking duck? The kind from the capital? You came all the way to Qiongzhou Island to eat Peking duck? Deputy Regiment Commander Pei, do you know how roast duck is made? You have to scald the skin with boiling water to crisp it, then air-dry it, then hang it in the oven and roast it for hours... Our cafeteria oven is for smoking meat—where am I supposed to find you a duck oven?"

He waved his hands as he spoke, with an expression that said "don't make this hard for me." "It's not that I won't help—this is too much trouble. All I do year-round is simple stir-fries, and I barely even smoke meat as it is. Roast duck is something I've only heard of—never actually made it."

Pei Yufeng didn't argue, nor did he pull the deputy regiment commander card. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a handful of White Rabbit candies, and pressed them into Chef Zhou's hand. "Take these home for your grandson. Sorry to put you out, Comrade Zhou. My wife is from the capital. She's not feeling well today and just wants a taste of roast duck. We've only been married a short while, and she's never asked me for a thing. I can't stand to disappoint her."

Chef Zhou looked down at the candies, then up at Pei Yufeng. This deputy regiment commander, who usually wore a stern face on the training ground and brooked no dissent, was now standing by the kitchen stove, holding a live duck and with candies in his pocket, asking for his help just to make his wife a taste of home.

Chef Zhou was silent for two seconds, ultimately unable to turn down the hard currency of White Rabbit candies. He sighed: "Fine, for the sake of how much you spoil your wife, Deputy Regiment Commander Pei. But I can't do it alone—you'll have to be my sous chef. And I'll need to start prepping for service soon, so you'll have to do a lot of it yourself."

"That's fair enough. I'm just grateful for your guidance." Pei Yufeng nodded, rolled his sleeves up past his elbows, and took his place at the stove.

Chef Zhou swiftly killed the duck and bled it, scalded it with boiling water to pluck the feathers, cleaned out the innards, and rinsed the carcass until it was completely clean. Then he boiled fresh water in a large pot, hooked the duck by the neck with an iron hook, and ladled boiling water over it from top to bottom: "This is called scalding the skin. Three passes of boiling water and the pores tighten—that's what makes the skin crispy."

He handed the iron hook to Pei Yufeng. "Your turn. I'll prep the ingredients—you do what I say."

"Alright." Pei Yufeng took the hook, holding the duck with one hand and ladling boiling water with the other. He moved with the same focus and care he brought to everything, not missing a single spot. The boiling water hissed as it hit the duck's skin, which tightened quickly under the heat, turning from white to pale yellow.

Pei Yufeng poured three passes as Chef Zhou instructed, each from neck to tail, making sure the whole surface was evenly covered. Afterward, parts of the skin had tightened like a drum—a light tap with a finger produced a crisp sound.

Chef Zhou nodded in satisfaction and mixed a bowl of brown sugar crisp-skin solution. Authentic roast duck should be brushed with maltose syrup, but the cafeteria didn't have any and there was no way to buy it on short notice. So Chef Zhou melted brown sugar and added a splash of white vinegar for shine. It wouldn't look quite as good as maltose syrup, but the taste shouldn't be far off.

He handed the brush to Pei Yufeng: "Brush it on while it's hot. Coat the whole duck evenly—just two or three thin layers. Any more and it'll come out too dark."

Pei Yufeng took the brush, dipped it in the reddish-brown sugar water, and started at the duck's breast, brushing with even, steady strokes. When he got to the wings, he deliberately lifted them to get the skin in the folds. When the whole duck was done, it gleamed with a faint amber sheen, glistening under the light like it had been glazed.

Chef Zhou hauled out the diesel-powered fan from the logistics department and set it up in the corner of the cafeteria, hanging the duck in the most airy spot: "Now we let it air-dry—dry the moisture off the skin. At least two or three hours. The drier the skin, the crispier the roast. You gonna wait here?"

Pei Yufeng adjusted the fan's angle and turned it to maximum. He glanced at his watch: "I'll head back first and come back in a bit."

Pei Yufeng biked home first. Ji Yunshu was still asleep, wrapped up tight in the blanket with only half her face showing. She was sleeping deeply, breathing evenly, but her brows were slightly furrowed—probably her belly still aching a little.

Pei Yufeng quietly swapped the water glass on the nightstand for a hot one, set the brown sugar jar next to it, and stood by the bed for a moment. Only once he'd confirmed she was sleeping peacefully did he turn and head back to the cafeteria.

In the cafeteria kitchen, the fan was still whirring. The duck's skin had visibly dried, the amber surface gradually changing color and no longer sticky to the touch. Chef Zhou was directing the other cooks as they prepped ingredients. When he saw Pei Yufeng arrive, he directed him to split the lychee wood piled in the back courtyard into smaller pieces.

After about two hours of strong fanning, Chef Zhou judged it was just about right and had Pei Yufeng light the fire in the oven first. Flames licked the oven walls with crackling pops, and the air filled with the sweet, fruity smell of lychee wood.

"Lychee wood makes the most fragrant roast duck. We might not have much else on this island, but we've got plenty of lychee wood." Chef Zhou tested the temperature inside the oven with his hand, deemed it about right, and personally set up a rack to put the duck in. "This temperature should be about right. Roast duck needs high heat, and you can't let the fire go out. Keep a close eye on it—rotate it every half hour or so."

"Got it." Pei Yufeng nodded.

The lychee wood in the oven burned fiercely, the orange-red firelight casting sharp shadows across his brow and nose. The oven's interior was scorching hot, and standing before it in just a thin shirt, he kept his eyes fixed on the flames, adding wood to keep the heat up, his back soaked with sweat from the radiant heat. But his hands never stopped—rotating the duck every half hour with a steady, even rhythm, like he was on a mission requiring total focus.

Before long, the duck's skin started to sizzle and render fat. Drops of oil fell onto the burning lychee wood, flaring up into tiny flames. The sweet scent of fruitwood and the rich smell of roasting duck drifted from the kitchen out to the cafeteria entrance, drawing in a passing cadre: "Old Zhou, what are you making? It smells so good I can't walk by!"

Chef Zhou pointed at Pei Yufeng, who was standing by the oven gripping the wooden rod: "Don't ask me—ask Deputy Regiment Commander Pei. He's making roast duck for his wife. I'm just the help."

The cadre was astonished: "You can make Peking duck on the island? Cantonese roast duck, sure, but Peking-style crispy duck? It's so humid here—even if you make it right, it'll go soft soon after."

"Try it—it might not work, but not trying guarantees you'll fail." Pei Yufeng didn't bother to wipe the sweat from his brow, his gaze fixed on the dancing flames.

The cadre nodded approvingly, chatted with Chef Zhou for a moment, and left.

Pei Yufeng turned the duck over for the second time, asked Chef Zhou to keep an eye on it, and rode his bike back home. He pedaled fast, kicking up dust without a care in the world. He pushed open the courtyard gate, crept upstairs into the bedroom, and found Ji Yunshu awake. She was leaning against the headboard, holding a cup of hot water, her complexion still pale and her lips were pale.

"You're awake? Still in pain?" Pei Yufeng walked to the bedside and felt her forehead.

"It still hurts, but a little better than this afternoon." Ji Yunshu's voice was a little hoarse. She set down the cup, glanced at him, and her eyes landed on his cheeks, flushed from the heat of the stove, and the grease stains on his shirt. "What were you doing? Why do you smell like smoke?"

"Just went out to handle something." Pei Yufeng refilled her empty cup with water and pushed the brown sugar jar toward her. "You wanna sleep more, or get up and eat something?"

"I'm not hungry. I'll just lie down a bit longer." Ji Yunshu sighed. That's how it was when she was on her period—her stomach hurt and she had zero energy. She was anemic too. She lay down, closed her eyes, and drifted off—whether she was really asleep or just passed out, she couldn't tell.

"Then sleep a little longer." Pei Yufeng poured her another glass of warm water and gave Ji Yunshu a White Rabbit candy.

After eating it, Ji Yunshu went to the bathroom to change her pad, still feeling wiped out, she just lay back down and went back to sleep.

Pei Yufeng wiped the cold sweat from Ji Yunshu's forehead caused by the pain. Seeing she was asleep again, and with the roast duck on his mind, he rushed back to the cafeteria.

The sky gradually darkened. The sunset moved from the window to the courtyard wall, then disappeared below the western horizon over the sea. By the time Ji Yunshu woke again, the window showed a deep blue dusk. Fishing boat lights flickered across the sea in the distance, and the leaves of the guava tree in the courtyard swayed gently in the night breeze.

Ji Yunshu felt much better. The dull ache in her lower abdomen had faded to a faint discomfort, and she was starting to feel hungry.

She sat up, wrapped in her blanket, and was about to call out to Pei Yufeng to ask what was for dinner when she heard footsteps on the stairs. Pei Yufeng saw she was awake, turned on the light, and walked in carrying a large plate.

The familiar smell of food hit Ji Yunshu's senses. Her eyes went wide when she saw the sliced duck on the plate. The skin was roasted to an even deep amber, shiny under the light and still faintly steaming. Though the slices were a little uneven, Ji Yunshu could still see and smell that it was the roast duck she had been longing for.

Beside the duck plate sat a small dish of sour lime juice, a small dish of white sugar, a plate of sliced scallions and cucumber strips, and a small stack of thin pancake wrappers.

Ji Yunshu was completely frozen. She rubbed her eyes, then rubbed them again, wondering if she was still half-asleep and dreaming. She'd mentioned it so casually that afternoon—so casually she'd forgotten she even said it. Even she thought it was just a pipe dream.

But now that pipe dream was laid out right in front of her—though it wasn't the deep red color of an authentic Beijing roast duck. This one had uneven coloring, some burnt spots on the skin, and places where the skin had pulled away from the meat—a pretty shoddy roast duck. Yet it was undeniably a real roast duck, the only one she had ever seen on this island.

"You—" Ji Yunshu started to speak but felt something stuck in her throat.

Pei Yufeng set the plate on the nightstand and handed her the chopsticks, his tone casual: "Eat it while it's hot; it won't be crispy once it cools. The skin's a bit overdone and the meat's a little dry. Not sure if it'll suit your taste. There's no sweet bean sauce on the island, but you said you liked this sour lime juice before, so just give it a try."

Ji Yunshu took the chopsticks dazedly. She lowered her head, looking at the duck slices Pei Yufeng had carefully cut, and picked up a piece with trembling chopsticks. She tasted it without any dipping sauce.

The skin was indeed roasted to a fragrant crispness. Though not as melt-in-your-mouth as authentic roast duck, biting into it produced a faint crunch. The meat was indeed a bit dry, lacking the tender spring of young duck, but Ji Yunshu chewed it bite after bite, swallowing slowly.

For some reason, Ji Yunshu felt her eyes sting. The roast duck didn't even taste that good—by her old standards, she would have stopped after two bites. But this time she kept eating slice after slice, and as she ate, tears welled up and spilled over.

Pei Yufeng panicked, quickly setting down the plate and asking, "What's wrong? Is your stomach hurting again?"

Ji Yunshu frantically wiped her tears, but they kept falling one after another. Her nose was red, her lips pressed together, and tears streamed down her cheeks, dripping onto the blanket and leaving dark round spots.

Ji Yunshu looked at Pei Yufeng with red-rimmed eyes. Her lips moved several times before she managed to squeeze out a complete sentence: "...You went to make this this afternoon?"

Pei Yufeng watched her cry, unsure whether to wipe her tears or answer first. He reached out, using his thumb to brush the tear streaks from her cheek, his voice slightly tense: "Mm. You said you wanted it."

Ji Yunshu cried even harder. She reached out, grabbed his collar, and buried her face in his chest, soaking his shirt with tears. Her voice was muffled against him, broken and choked with sobs: "I just mentioned it casually... I fell asleep right after saying it. How did you actually go make it... Where did roast duck even come from on this island... Are you stupid..."

Pei Yufeng wrapped his arm around her back, patting her gently, and coaxed her in a low voice: "It wasn't much trouble. The head chef at the officers' cafeteria helped; I just assisted."

Ji Yunshu pulled back from his embrace, wiped her tears with the back of her hand, and cupped Pei Yufeng's face to look at him. There was a small smudge of oven ash on his brow, and his shirt sleeves were stained with several spots of grease and soot. She had never seen him in such a disheveled state, yet she felt that at this moment, Pei Yufeng looked more handsome than ever.

"Brother Pei, thank you." Ji Yunshu looked into Pei Yufeng's eyes, her gaze full of tenderness and affection. "The roast duck is especially delicious, really."