Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Pei Yufeng was gone.

The moment the courtyard gate closed, Ji Yunshu stood inside, watching his figure disappear around the bend of the slope. The setting sun stretched his shadow out long and thin, and soon, even the shadow was gone.

As the daylight faded, Ji Yunshu didn't feel much at first—it was just that the yard suddenly felt quiet, almost too quiet.

Ji Yunshu went back inside, telling herself Pei Yufeng would be fine. Going on missions was his job, and with how capable he was, he'd definitely come back safe.

At dinnertime, Ji Yunshu biked to the cadres' cafeteria as usual. On the way, she ran into a few familiar faces from the military families and exchanged greetings, as if nothing had happened.

But once night fell and she was alone in the house, the reality that Pei Yufeng was really gone finally hit her.

She'd never noticed how many little sounds the house made before—the sound of Pei Yufeng's military boots on the floor as he walked, the sound of his knife hitting the cutting board while he chopped veggies in the kitchen, even the slow, steady sound of his breathing while he slept. But now, all those sounds were gone.

The lights in the small building were on, the water tank was filled to the brim, and even the brown sugar had been set right in the middle of the dining table, like a reminder for Ji Yunshu to keep her nutrition up. Though Pei Yufeng was gone, he'd left the house in perfect order—Ji Yunshu didn't have to lift a finger, just enjoy it.

Ji Yunshu was leaning against the sewing machine, spacing out, when Huajuan poked a fluffy little head through the door, tilted it to look at her, then trotted over on her four little white paws, rubbed against her ankle, and looked up with a soft mew. Shen Shen followed behind Huajuan, more wary, not quite warmed up to Ji Yunshu yet. She crouched on the doorstep, watching from a distance, her grass-green eyes glowing like two little light bulbs in the dark.

Ji Yunshu bent down and scooped up Huajuan. The kitten's warm little body curled in her palm, soft as a ball of cotton.

After all this time together, Huajuan had totally adopted Ji Yunshu as her second mom. She rubbed her little pink nose against Ji Yunshu's fingers, then curled up contentedly into a fuzzy ball in her palm, purring away.

"Good thing I've got you two," Ji Yunshu said, gently scratching under Huajuan's chin. The purring immediately kicked up a notch. She sat down on the steps with Huajuan in her arms. Shen Shen hesitated a moment, then slowly padded over and sat down beside her, the tip of her tail resting lightly on Ji Yunshu's ankle.

Ji Yunshu sat there for a while, realizing that with Pei Yufeng gone, she couldn't keep from overthinking. Where would he go? Would the seas be rough? Would he be in danger? She had known before that he went out on missions, but back then she was still in the capital, thousands of kilometers away, and had never really thought about how dangerous his missions were.

Now that Ji Yunshu knew how hard Pei Yufeng's journey had been, and had seen so many soldiers and officers come and go, she finally understood what that worry really felt like.

Sitting on the steps Pei Yufeng went up and down every day, holding the kitten they had picked out together, Ji Yunshu's worry turned into a heavy stone pressing down on her chest.

Late at night, Ji Yunshu lay in bed alone, the spot next to her empty. Before, when they were together, Pei Yufeng always liked to hold her from behind, or pull her into his arms to sleep. He ran a bit warmer than she did, and when he held her from behind, Ji Yunshu would get a little warm. But maybe it was his smell that made her feel safe—with her eyes closed in his arms, she'd fall asleep in no time.

Ji Yunshu rolled over onto Pei Yufeng's pillow, breathing in the scent he'd left behind. It mixed with the early autumn breeze, turning into something she was already starting to miss.

Huajuan had somehow pushed open the half-closed bedroom door with her head, silently jumped onto the bed, circled twice at the foot of the bed, then curled up into a fluffy little round bun, pressing against Ji Yunshu's feet. Shen Shen followed her in, but she didn't jump up on the bed. Instead, she crouched on the floor beside it, chin resting on her front paws, her grass-green eyes fixed on the door without blinking, like she was standing guard.

Ji Yunshu looked down at Huajuan at the foot of the bed and couldn't resist scooping her up. "When Brother Pei was here, you couldn't get on the bed. You only get to sleep with me for a few days."

Huajuan couldn't understand what Ji Yunshu was saying. She nuzzled Ji Yunshu's palm and settled in comfortably at the head of the bed.

Ji Yunshu yawned. Shen Shen called out twice from beside the bed. Ji Yunshu reached a hand out from under the covers and gently touched the tip of Shen Shen's ear. Shen Shen's ears twitched, but she didn't hiss—she just narrowed her eyes and stayed crouched there, watching the door.

The next day, Ji Yunshu slept in until she woke up on her own. When she woke up, she instinctively reached to the side—empty. Only then did she remember that Pei Yufeng had gone on a mission. She realized she'd rolled into the middle of the bed, half her head on Pei Yufeng's pillow, half on her own. Huajuan, who had been sleeping at the head of the bed, was already gone.

Ji Yunshu lay in bed for a bit to wake up, then got up to wash up, cooked breakfast for the two kittens, and made herself a simple bowl of porridge with brown sugar egg soup.

She sat at the dining table with her bowl of porridge and noticed the chair across from her was empty. She had never deliberately watched Pei Yufeng eat breakfast before, but now she could picture it with her eyes closed—he sat across from her, uniform neatly pressed, making no sound as he drank his porridge. When he picked up dishes, he would first use the serving chopsticks to put a bite on her porridge, then take some for himself. She had noticed these details before without truly registering them. Now that he was gone, they all surfaced from her memory, as clear as if they had happened yesterday.

After finishing her meal, Ji Yunshu washed the dishes and forced herself to sit at the sewing machine to continue the dress she hadn't finished. The rhythmic clatter of the machine filled the empty room, making it sound as if someone else was still in the house. But she got distracted after barely two lines of stitching. The first separation was always hard to get used to—she kept thinking about the little moments the two of them had shared in this house.

At noon, Ji Yunshu didn't cook for herself. With Pei Yufeng gone, the kitchen was cold and empty, and she didn't feel like fussing over a meal alone. She simply biked to the cadres' cafeteria.

The cafeteria still had the same familiar windows, the same dishes, the same head cook. Today's menu was mostly seafood. Ji Yunshu got spicy stir-fried conch slices and a bowl of seaweed and egg drop soup, then carried her lunchbox to the usual spot she and Pei Yufeng always sat. But the difference was that the seat across from her was empty. No one pushed her favorite dishes toward her, and no one listened to her chatter about her day while she ate.

Ji Yunshu ate in silence. At the table next to her sat a family of three—a young officer was peeling shrimp for his wife, who held a chubby little girl in her arms. The little girl reached for the chopsticks on the table, giggling. Ji Yunshu glanced at them, and a rare pang of envy rose in her chest. There were many soldiers and their families eating in the cafeteria, and plenty of wives eating alone while their husbands were busy, but Ji Yunshu suddenly felt a bit lonely.

She had already gotten used to life with Pei Yufeng.

Ji Yunshu watched the wife's smiling face and wondered—had she too waited slowly, counting the days until her husband returned from a mission? Had she ever sat alone in their usual spot, staring at the empty chair across from her?

Ji Yunshu knew this kind of waiting would happen again, perhaps more than once. Every time he went to sea, she would sit here counting the days, and then one day she would push open the door and see his figure, and everything would return to normal. Before, Ji Yunshu had thought this wasn't much different from waiting at home for Ji Haiguo to return. Ji Haiguo often went off to train elsewhere and wouldn't be seen for days, but she just went about her business. After all, He Qiuxia was at home, and the two of them enjoyed their freedom. Though occasionally He Qiuxia would speak with a wistful tone, murmuring to herself about where Ji Haiguo might be now, where he had gone, and when he would come back.

Back then, Ji Yunshu thought it was fine that Ji Haiguo wasn't home—he was the only one who occasionally scolded her, and she was petty and held grudges, so she was glad he wasn't around to nag her.

But now she could understand He Qiuxia. Missing her husband was a wife's instinct.

Ji Yunshu swallowed those thoughts along with her rice. She hadn't gotten much food, so she finished quickly, cleaned up her lunchbox, and headed home.

On her way back from the cafeteria, just as she reached her doorstep, a rich, savory aroma drifted over from the neighboring courtyard. The smell was intoxicating—complex and layered with spices. Ji Yunshu couldn't identify the seasonings, but the fragrance of duck slowly braised in its own rendered fat, carried by the wind, filled the air all around.

Ji Yunshu couldn't help but stop her bicycle, tilted her head, took a couple of steps forward, and peered into the courtyard.

Huang Paimei was busy in the yard. Today she wore a dark green short-sleeved shirt with a faded floral apron tied at her waist, sleeves rolled up to her elbows, revealing two honey-toned arms from the sun.

In the yard sat a small red clay stove, topped with a deep clay pot, the lid sealed tight—but it couldn't contain the tantalizing aroma seeping through the cracks. Huang Paimei was crouched by the stove, gently fanning the fire with a small palm-leaf fan. Her silver hairpin swayed at the back of her head, its silver tassel catching the afternoon sunlight in tiny glints.

Duoduo was squatting under the guava tree in the yard, holding a small piece of steamed sweet potato, eating and watching ants move. The little girl wore a pink floral top, her hair in two pigtails tied with red cloth strings. She looked up and met Ji Yunshu's gaze as she peered into the yard.

When Duoduo saw Ji Yunshu wink at her, her face flushed bright red. She scrambled to her feet, hiding the sweet potato behind her back, and spoke in a soft, thin voice, full of a child's shyness and nervousness: "Aunt... Aunt Ji."

Then, without waiting for Ji Yunshu to respond, she turned and ran to Huang Paimei, tugging at the corner of her apron and whispering urgently: "Mama, Mama, Aunt Ji from next door is here."

Huang Paimei looked up, saw Ji Yunshu standing at the gate, and a smile immediately spread across her face. She set down the fan, stood up, wiped her hands on her apron, and waved Ji Yunshu over: "Comrade Ji, come in and sit!"

Ji Yunshu parked her bicycle against the courtyard wall and pushed open the half-closed gate to step inside. As soon as she entered, the aroma of the sauce grew even stronger. She couldn't help but take a deep breath: "Sister Huang, what are you making? I could smell it before I even got to my door—it's incredible!"

Huang Paimei laughed at her exaggerated compliment, pursing her lips with a smile, and pointed at the clay pot: "Qiongzhou fragrant herb braised duck—it's a local recipe. Old Liu left half a duck before he went out to sea. With the hot weather, I was afraid it would spoil, so I made this."

She walked over to the stove, lifted the lid of the clay pot to show Ji Yunshu. The moment the lid came off, the pent-up aroma burst out and hit Ji Yunshu full in the face.

Inside the pot, half a pot of dark brown sauce was bubbling away, thick and glossy, with a fine layer of oil floating on the surface. Half a duck lay nestled in the sauce, its skin braised to a deep amber, looking like it would fall off the bone at the slightest touch of chopsticks. The duck meat had absorbed the sauce, and chunks of potato and eggplant simmered alongside.

"So fragrant—" Ji Yunshu exclaimed sincerely, her eyes fixed on the duck in the pot, feeling like the meal she'd just had at the cafeteria had been a waste.

"Have you had lunch yet?" Huang Paimei glanced at her with a hint of kind concern. "Deputy Regiment Commander Pei has gone out to sea. It must be inconvenient for you to cook alone at home, right?"

"I ate—I had it at the cafeteria," Ji Yunshu answered quickly, but her gaze was still glued to the duck in the pot, and she swallowed.

Huang Paimei took it all in, turned to fetch a pair of clean chopsticks from the kitchen, picked up a piece of duck leg meat, placed it on a small plate, and handed it to Ji Yunshu: "Try it."

Ji Yunshu hesitated for only a moment before accepting the chopsticks. As she picked up the duck leg, the skin trembled slightly between the chopsticks, and sauce dripped down the grain of the meat, landing on the plate with a soft "tap."

Ji Yunshu put the duck in her mouth. The moment her teeth sank in, her eyes went wide—the skin had been braised until it was soft and sticky, melting on the tongue; the meat had absorbed the sauce, savory with a hint of sweetness, and beneath that, a unique fragrance she had never tasted before. The sauce had layers of flavor, and she could detect a hint of garlic, though it wasn't overpowering. Each taste unfolded on her tongue, perfectly balanced.

"This is amazing!" Ji Yunshu swallowed the duck and licked her lips, still savoring it. "Sister Huang, your cooking is incredible! How did you make this sauce? It's a hundred times better than the braised duck at the cafeteria!"

Huang Paimei lowered her head shyly at the praise, her fingers unconsciously fiddling with the edge of her apron, her voice soft and gentle: "It's just a local recipe, nothing special. I use the local fragrant herb duck—they're raised on seafood, so they're naturally flavorful. The sauce is made with local lemongrass, galangal, garlic, and brown sugar. I usually add a bit of fish sauce too, then simmer on low heat for two hours."

"Two hours?" Ji Yunshu looked at the little red clay stove in the yard. "You stayed here for two hours?"

Huang Paimei nodded, pointing to the small stool beside the stove: "I sit here fanning the fire and keeping an eye on Duoduo."

Ji Yunshu looked down at the empty plate in her hand, then at the braised duck still bubbling in the pot, and a thought suddenly popped into her head. She set down the plate, pressed her palms together, and looked at Huang Paimei with an expression that was both earnest and slightly pleading: "Sister Huang, I have a request—"

Huang Paimei was a little nervous at her posture: "Go ahead."

"When my Brother Pei gets his duck ration, could I bring it over and have you cook it for me? Of course, I won't ask for free—I can make clothes for Duoduo. I'll use my sewing machine to make her whatever she wants, a dress or pants, and I'll take her measurements." Ji Yunshu added quickly, "I'll provide the fabric, so don't worry about that."

Huang Paimei was taken aback for a moment, and before she could answer, Duoduo, who was squatting under the guava tree, heard the words "new clothes" and her eyes went wide as saucers. She stopped eating her sweet potato, jumped up from the ground, and ran over to Huang Paimei's side, tugging at Huang Paimei's clothes and looking up at her with big, watery eyes, blinking furiously without saying a word.

Huang Paimei looked down at her daughter's expectant gaze, then looked up at Ji Yunshu, and couldn't help but laugh: "You're too kind. Making a duck is no trouble—we always cook one anyway. You're welcome to come over anytime you want to eat, no need to trade anything for it."

"That won't do." Ji Yunshu shook her head seriously. "Every household gets a fixed ration, and meat is hard to come by. I can't just eat your food for free. Besides, Pei Yufeng isn't home, and I can't finish a whole duck by myself anyway. I'd rather bring it over and have you cook it, and we can eat together—that way we can keep each other company."

Seeing that Ji Yunshu was insistent, Huang Paimei didn't argue further and nodded: "Alright, then when Deputy Commander Pei gets his duck ration, you bring it over."

"Great!" Ji Yunshu smiled with satisfaction, then bent down and said to Duoduo, "Duoduo, what kind of clothes do you want—a skirt or pants?"

"I want a skirt." Duoduo said shyly, "Aunt Ji, you don't need to provide the fabric—my mom has some too. I want one like the one you wore last time, the one that looks like ocean waves."

Ji Yunshu remembered the dark blue and white dress she had worn before—it had indeed been well received. Ji Yunshu reached out and ruffled Duoduo's hair: "Sure! I'll come over in a bit to take your measurements. I'll make it a bit bigger so you can wear it for two years, okay?"

Duoduo's face turned red again. She half-hid her face behind Huang Paimei's apron, leaving only her bright, sparkling eyes visible, and her voice grew softer and softer: "Thank... thank you, Aunt Ji."

"It's nothing." Ji Yunshu didn't waste any time. She went over a little later to take Duoduo's measurements, got some fabric from Huang Paimei, and went back to start designing Duoduo's new skirt.

The fabric Ji Yunshu brought back from Huang Paimei's was a length of water-blue fine cotton—soft but with a crisp hand, the color of a shallow sea on a clear day.

Since Duoduo wanted a skirt "like ocean waves," she couldn't simply copy her own dark blue and white design. That dress was made for an adult—low neckline, fitted waist, and long ruffled hem that flowed when walking. As elegant as it was, it would be too mature for a child. When making clothes for kids, the most important things were comfort, ease of movement, and holding up well in the wash.

Ji Yunshu thought for a moment, then spread out newspaper and sketched a new design. She switched the neckline to a small round collar and raised the waistline by an inch. Kids don't have a defined waist, so raising the waistline let the skirt flare out naturally from there, making the legs look longer and the child more spirited. The skirt had two layers: the inner layer was plain, soft against the skin, while the outer layer used bias-cut fabric with fine gathers to mimic the rippling waves of the sea. When walking, the two layers swayed and overlapped, giving it depth without being too flashy. To make the little wave effect stand out more, she decided to reinforce the pleats with matching thread every inch, giving the hem a slight flare that made it look more lively and adorable.

The most intricate part was the back design. Ji Yunshu skipped the usual button closure and instead cut a small teardrop-shaped opening below the neckline at the back, fastened with three pearl-white shell buttons. This made it easy to put on and take off while adding a unique touch no one else had. The shell buttons were ones she'd picked up while beachcombing with Pei Yufeng—she thought they were pretty, brought them home, washed them, and had never used them. They were perfect as decoration for Duoduo's new outfit.

Ji Yunshu worked from afternoon until evening. At one point, Huajuan the cat jumped onto the table to inspect the work, and Ji Yunshu picked her up from the pile of fabric, kissed her on the forehead, and set her back on the floor. Shen Shen the dog crouched by the sewing machine, tilting her head and watching the needle dart up and down for a while before losing interest and turning to chase her own tail.

Ji Yunshu spent two days on the skirt. After the final stitch, she held it up—the wave-like pleats of the hem cascaded down, indeed resembling a shallow sea ruffled by a gentle breeze. The two shell buttons gleamed with a soft pearlescent luster below the back neckline, and on the inside of the collar, she had added a matching cotton binding so it wouldn't chafe the child's delicate skin.

Ji Yunshu smiled with satisfaction, carefully folded the skirt, and placed it in a clean cloth bag.

Early the next morning, she carried the bag to Huang Paimei's house.

"Duoduo, come try on your new skirt." Ji Yunshu found Duoduo, crouched down, and took the skirt out of the bag, shaking it open.

Duoduo's eyes went wide. She opened her mouth, looked at the skirt, then at Ji Yunshu, then back at the skirt, and then turned and ran inside, shouting as she ran: "Mom! Mom! Aunt Ji brought the ocean waves over!"

Huang Paimei came out of the house and, seeing the skirt in Ji Yunshu's hands, was also too stunned to speak.

Ji Yunshu handed the skirt to Duoduo, who carefully changed into it. Huang Paimei fastened the shell buttons one by one down her back. The hem fell just below the knees, partially covering her calves, and the water-blue fabric made Duoduo's skin look even fairer.

"Beautiful! Comrade Ji, your craftsmanship is amazing!" Huang Paimei exclaimed sincerely.

"Spin around and let me see." Ji Yunshu was equally pleased, smiling at Duoduo.

Duoduo spun around. As the skirt flared out, the two layers of waves rippled and interwove, the white lace trim against the blue fabric like tiny, scattered sea foam, and the shell buttons at the back catching the sunlight with a soft pearlescent glow.

The little girl looked down at her hem, reached out to touch the lace trim, then looked up at Ji Yunshu. Her lips moved several times before she finally managed to say: "Aunt Ji... I think I'm turning into a mermaid!"

Author's note:

I feel like I'm writing a food novel. I really think Hainan vanilla duck is delicious—I wish I could go eat it again.