Chapter 81
byChapter 81
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The person before her seemed taken aback by her words, the finger caressing her lips pausing.
Ye Chengxing caught a whiff of white peach sweetness.
In a daze, she thought that this distance was somewhat suitable for a kiss.
However, in the next second, Chengxing saw Li Jia retract her hand and straighten up.
Li Jia slowly repeated her words: "You came back to see me?"
After repeating them, her voice grew fainter: "I'm doing well now. You can go back after seeing me."
"Can't you leave freely?"
Actually, she wasn't sure if Ye Chengxing could just leave whenever she wanted, which was why she pointed it out. After saying this, Li Jia subtly observed her.
She knew the person before her too well, especially those unconscious micro-expressions. Therefore, she instantly judged that Ye Chengxing could indeed leave this world freely.
Realizing this, the tension in her heart that had tightened due to Ye Chengxing's words eased slightly.
Ye Chengxing listened to Li Jia's voice and recalled seeing her standing at the door earlier, hesitating.
She really wanted to ask: Are you really doing well?
If you're truly doing well, then why do you look so... heart-wrenching and sad?
Ye Chengxing didn't speak, and neither did Li Jia.
After saying those words, she averted her gaze. However, even as her eyes moved away, her peripheral vision couldn't help but glance at Ye Chengxing.
Then, she noticed that Ye Chengxing stood up.
As Li Jia watched with her peripheral vision, Ye Chengxing also noticed Li Jia turning away her gaze.
The one who hadn't taken her eyes off her since they met was now the one to avert her gaze.
She wondered why Li Jia, who clearly didn't want her to leave, was pushing her away.
It seemed... like she was afraid of something?
Indeed, much had happened five years ago, and she needed to remember it all quickly.
Li Jia averted her gaze, and Ye Chengxing directly stepped into her line of sight.
"You make a good point."
Hearing Ye Chengxing's words, Li Jia softly hummed in acknowledgment.
Although she herself decided to push her away, her fingertips couldn't help but tightly clench her palm.
Ye Chengxing watched her, obviously deeply concerned yet trying to act indifferent, thinking, You're quite stubborn, aren't you?
"But what if I don't want to leave?" She moved closer.
Before Li Jia could speak again, Ye Chengxing looked around. "I'd like to stay here for a while. Is that okay?"
"After all, the fact that I'm missing a chunk of my memories is still troubling me," she said, bending her eyes in a smile as she turned to look at her. At the same time, she gently placed her hand on Li Jia's, prying apart her tightly clenched fingers. "Maybe staying here for a while will help me remember."
Li Jia glanced at her, lowering her eyes to the hand separating her fingers.
As if burned, she suddenly withdrew her hand. "If you want to stay... then stay."
Ye Chengxing took note of her reaction, finding it strange. She seemed to be overreacting. The more she studied her, the more she sensed the fear hidden beneath her surface, a fear that went beyond mere apprehension.
What exactly was she afraid of?
Ye Chengxing really wanted to regain her forgotten memories as soon as possible. What she had just said to Li Jia wasn't entirely an excuse.
After all, she could sense that since entering and seeing everything here, those deliberately forgotten memories were starting to loosen.
Perhaps staying here for a while would indeed help her remember.
"Can I choose any room?" Ye Chengxing looked at Li Jia, who nodded. "Then I'll pick one myself."
As she spoke, Ye Chengxing walked up the stairs to the second floor.
There were actually many rooms here, including some on the first floor, but after saying this, she subconsciously headed upstairs. By the time she realized it, she was already standing in front of a room on the second floor.
Ye Chengxing blinked. Although she didn't know what the room looked like inside, she had already decided that this was the one.
"This one then."
She pushed open the door, casting a fleeting glance inside before looking back at Li Jia.
Li Jia stared at the room she chose for a long while without speaking. Finally, she responded.
The air fell silent for a few seconds before she suddenly opened the room next to Ye Chengxing's. "I'll stay here tonight."
Upon hearing this, Ye Chengxing glanced at the room she opened and bent her eyes in a smile. "Alright, it's getting late. You should rest early too. Good night."
Hearing her say good night, Li Jia paused. "...Good night."
She was about to enter her room when Ye Chengxing spoke up again. "Li Jia, what are you afraid of?"
But as her words faded, the other party had already gone inside and closed the door.
Ye Chengxing looked at the closed door, thinking that Li Jia might not have heard her.
If she didn't hear, then it didn't matter; she would find out eventually.
Just like how there were so many rooms here, yet the one she opened was the room next to hers.
Ye Chengxing retracted her gaze and entered her room, closing the door behind her.
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In truth, Li Jia had heard the question Ye Chengxing asked her.
She asked if she was afraid of something?
She was indeed afraid.
But how could she tell her—
That what she feared was herself.
It was that self with an extreme possessiveness.
It was the self who, no matter how much she learned, couldn't love normally.
Like now, at most, she was only putting on a normal appearance. The real her had been going crazy ever since she confirmed that Ye Chengxing had returned.
She wanted to hug her, kiss her, make love to her.
She wanted to keep looking at her, didn't want her to leave, and wanted to hear her say she loved her.
But the methods she could think of now weren't much different from five years ago.
Other people's love was complete, but her love was still this incomplete and abnormal, only causing exhaustion and trouble.
Love wouldn't fade with time; it would only become more frenzied as Ye Chengxing left.
So much so that the moment she saw her, these long-lasting emotions burst free.
To prevent herself from losing control even more, all she could do was push her away.
Li Jia thought about this and raised her hand, unable to resist extending her fingertips into her mouth.
Her mind recalled the sensation of Ye Chengxing gradually parting her with her fingertips.
Her fingertips touched her fingertips, so warm.
But unfortunately, such a brief touch barely carried any of her scent.
Li Jia was never gentle with herself.
After several repetitions of her fingertips, her eyes reddened.
She withdrew her wet fingertips.
While comforting herself, she couldn't help but wonder what Ye Chengxing was doing now.
Was she resting? Or thinking about something?
The realization that "Ye Chengxing is right next door" did not make her feel any better, but instead made her feel even worse.
No matter how she tried to relieve herself, it always fell short, and she couldn't help but bite her lip.
Thoughts surged in her mind on this silent night.
She let her go, and it was Ye Chengxing who came back on her own.
She came back on her own initiative.
So...
The force with which Li Jia bit her lip involuntarily increased until she tasted blood, snapping her back to reality.
No.
She couldn't do that again.
She sat up, mentally and physically enduring the utmost discomfort.
After trying for so long, not only did it not improve, but it became even more unbearable.
Li Jia opened the door. Although the soundproofing in these rooms was excellent, she still kept her movements and sounds as light as possible.
She stared at the closed door next door for a moment, then climbed the stairs to the third floor and entered a room that she always kept locked.
She remembered the placement of every item in this room clearly.
Li Jia opened a drawer and took out the pale pink comfort toy inside.
It was a small, round object.
At first, it still retained some of the scent she yearned for day and night.
But over time, that scent dissipated.
Li Jia's fingertips trembled slightly. After quickly completing the disinfection process, her other hand reached down, parting herself gently.
Her long hair swayed with the movement, creating an arc in the air. At the moment she pressed the control button, she bit her lip and leaned against the table.
Even though it arrived.
That feeling of dissatisfaction became even stronger instead.
Her luscious lips, stained with beads of blood, appeared even more vivid. The tips of her fingers, which were supporting her on the table, had turned white from the force she was applying.
Shaken but coherent, she knew she couldn't treat Ye Chengxing that way anymore.
But... would it be alright to get closer to her without disturbing her?
With this thought, Li Jia rose and left the room, locking it behind her as she departed.
She could no longer contain herself.
The corridor was silent. She descended from the third floor back down to the second.
Ye Chengxing's room remained as quiet as before when she had ascended the stairs; its door was still closed.
Li Jia approached the door beside her room.
It really was late, Chengxing should be asleep by now, right?
Even though she still couldn't see her, just being outside her door made Li Jia feel slightly better than being in a different room altogether.
Each room had its own bathroom and shower, and according to past habits, Ye Chengxing usually didn't come out at night.
She wouldn't knock or make any noise; she would simply stay here for a while.
When dawn came, she would return to her own room.
With these thoughts, Li Jia moved even closer to the door.
Remaining completely silent, everything she did would remain unknown to Ye Chengxing.
She missed her so much.
This vibrant, smiling version of her.
Recalling her every move, Li Jia felt an increased surge of excitement.
Unable to resist, Li Jia lifted her shirt, having already leaned against the door without realizing it.
She had to be mindful of the person inside, so she couldn't make a sound or move too much.
She bit down on the corner of her shirt, her fingertips brushing over her body.
But something was missing, leaving her unsatisfied.
Why was there still something lacking...
Her eyes were nearly filled with moisture.
Just then, the door behind her opened from the inside.
Leaning heavily on the door, she lost her balance when it swung open.
But the real concern wasn't her instability. Li Jia hastily released the corner of her shirt from between her teeth and shakily adjusted her clothing.
However, she didn't fall as expected.
The person behind her instinctively reached up and grabbed her waist. A soft female voice asked, "Li Jia? Are you okay?"
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