Chapter 022: Lickspittle x Scoundrel x Saintly Syndrome (4)

Chapter 022: Lickspittle x Scoundrel x Saintly Syndrome (4)

The incident came too suddenly, leaving the young schoolboy who had just returned from chopping wood at a distance, frozen in place, unsure whether he should go over to help.

Hundreds of pigeons, having comfortably resolved their issues with the cycle of nature, cooed a few times and took flight.

Several fellow disciples from the Immortal Sect, thinking something had happened, hurried over following the loud cries of the monkey, only to see a vague human shape outside Suyuzhai, which they struggled to recognize as Si Jinghua.

"Senior Brother Jinghua?!"

"How awful—what happened here—cough cough!"

"Step back, be careful not to tread on anything!"

Seeing that there was nowhere safe to stand, everyone covered their noses and stepped back, calling for servants to clean up the scene.

"Uncle Zhang! Quickly help Senior Master Si take a bath!"

"Are these pigeons or sparrows? Why did they all target him?"

Si Jinghua, drenched from head to toe, felt immense shame and fury, never expecting so many fellow disciples to witness his humiliation. He wished he could kill every single one who saw him in this state.

If he still had his powers, he could have waved his hand and torn those damned pigeons to shreds. But now, he was caught completely off guard!

Rong Zijin also heard the commotion outside the study, letting the little monkey sit on her shoulder as she glanced over from a distance, feeling a mix of emotions.

"Baiqiong, was it you?"

"Squeak."

The Master sighed and lightly smacked the little monkey's bottom.

"Better not be you."

After such an upheaval, Si Jinghua retreated, returning to Luoyuyuan to tend to his wounds, rarely venturing out again.

Coinciding with the New Year, Master Feng celebrated his wedding, hosting a grand ceremony across the four mountain sects, with lanterns and decorations everywhere, creating a festive atmosphere.

In the original story, this was a point of torment.

The supporting character, after severely injuring himself by extracting his golden elixir, lay alone in solitude amidst the joyous celebrations.

Moreover, the Immortal Venerable brought his junior brother to express gratitude, acting politely and courteously.

But Xiao Baiqiong knew deep down that he harbored inappropriate feelings for the Immortal Venerable, and Rong Zijin's cautious demeanor made him feel even more distant from his Master, plunging him into painful suppression.

System: "Ever since you turned into a monkey, the whole book seems to lose its tragic touch."

Keding: "I'll take that as a compliment to my wisdom."

With the New Year and a grand wedding, Mount Emei was adorned with strings of lanterns and winter plum blossoms.

Master Feng was highly respected within the sect, and his marriage to a wealthy clan's daughter was lavish, refurbishing the entire Immortal Sect, festooned with red decorations.

Young schoolboys plastered golden-red paper cuts everywhere, while skilled girls wove flower garlands and lotus lanterns, transforming the snowy winter into a springtime paradise.

Amidst the harmonious atmosphere, the Immortal Venerable brought his little monkey to attend the wedding banquet, drawing attention from numerous cultivators.

"Immortal Venerable Yiyue, why is your spirit pet golden?"

"Yes, all the monkeys on the mountain are brown, but this one on your shoulder looks lively and well-behaved!"

"You mean those wild monkeys? Ha, if not for the barrier around the banquet hall, they would have rushed in to snatch food and tear clothes, ruining everything!"

"Indeed, my niece was scratched by a monkey last time and hasn't dared to come back to Mount Emei!"

Rong Zijin, usually reserved and sensitive, smiled shyly today, seeing her disciple surrounded and praised by everyone.

Keding, originally munching on a biscuit on her shoulder, was suddenly patted and pinched, with people offering chicken legs and pine nuts, making him a bit overwhelmed.

Everyone marveled at how well-behaved and intelligent the little monkey was, finding it truly adorable.

System: "It's not that well-behaved at all!"

Keding: "All thanks to the comparison, grateful and appreciative."

Hearing the distant sounds of music and drums, Si Jinghua lay in his dimly lit bedroom, utterly devastated.

Half asleep, he heard footsteps approaching and managed to sit up, seeing Rong Zijin enter with a food box.

"You..." Si Jinghua said with a grim face, "still willing to see me?"

If his senior brother brought that monkey, he would surely overturn the food box!

"Still acting like a child," Rong Zijin sighed. "I brought you hot soup and warm rice, along with your favorite golden silk pastries."

At the mention of "golden silk," Si Jinghua thought of the monkey and turned away, ignoring him.

Rong Zijin sat beside the bed, coaxing and persuading him to eat his lunch, saying, "You were just confused. Don't make things difficult for him anymore, okay?"

"I only regret losing too much spiritual power," Si Jinghua lamented. "Otherwise, if I could turn into a cat or dog, I might earn a few days of your affection."

Rong Zijin smiled gently, "You're just talking nonsense."

Not long after he left, someone knocked on the door.

Si Jinghua leaned against a long pillow and lifted his eyelids. "Who is it?"

An elderly man slowly approached, dressed in attire suggesting he was one of the well-wishers at the wedding banquet.

"Did you take a wrong turn?"

"No." The old man raised his hand to his face, revealing Mo Luo's greenish-brown eyes.

"Si Jinghua, your spiritual meridians are now severely damaged; cultivating into immortality is but a faint hope."

"Why don't you join our demonic path and enjoy the supreme techniques of the Xuanming Sect?"

Mo Luo's voice, neither distinctly male nor female, coaxed, "Killing brings more joy than loving, doesn't it?"

Si Jinghua sized him up and laughed coldly. "So the demonic path has come looking for this sick cat?"

"If you have any skill, kill a monkey for me."

"After that, everything can be discussed."

Mo Luo had expected to spend some time haggling with him, but he did not expect such simple terms.

"Just one monkey?"

"It lives in Suyuzhai, possesses no special abilities, and is indistinguishable from any other monkey in the mountains." Si Jinghua looked ill and spoke weakly. "Bring its head to me after you've done it."

Mo Luo nodded, and his figure vanished on the spot.

After the master uncle's wedding, the guests gathered to discuss Dao, speaking freely, and were expected to stay for nearly ten days.

The usually quiet immortal sect suddenly became bustling and crowded, with banquets and discussions held everywhere, exuding an elegant atmosphere.

The golden-haired monkey seemed to be sleeping curled up in a wicker basket but was actually reading the plot ahead.

Your immortal romance novels are too long, always involving past and future lives, and reading hundreds of thousands of words is exhausting...

The system suddenly said, "They're coming to kill you!"

"Hold on."

A mile away, the Green-faced Mo Luo and the Red-faced Mo Luo appeared one after another, wielding poisoned daggers as they approached step by step.

Paper cranes floated behind them, calmly monitoring the situation.

Xiao Baiqiong, how will you deal with this today?

Keding was well aware of the commotion in the distance and said to the system, "Actually, I set up a killing move, but it's a bit too harsh, and I wasn't quite willing to do it."

"For five consecutive days of feasting, the kitchen stored a lot of wine lees, which smelled incredibly fragrant."

System: "What did you do?"

"I sealed several pounds of wine lees above Si Jinghua's bed with a barrier," Keding admitted. "I did this while he was bathing."

Before he could finish the details, the two Mo Luos holding their poisoned blades stepped forward, about to sneak into Suyuzhai.

Just as the Red-faced Mo Luo was about to move further, he felt something bite at his trouser leg.

He turned around and saw a white goose opening its mouth, revealing three rows of teeth.

"Quack—"

Before the Mo Luo could react, hundreds of pigeons flew across the sky, followed by wild boars leading a group of piglets, and troops of monkeys swinging through the trees!

The golden-haired monkey slowly sat up from its cradle, resting its chin on its hand, watching the intense battle in the distance.

"You may be able to kill someone in ten steps and leave no trace for a thousand miles."

"But, my friend, where do you find the courage to fight ten geese bare-handed?"

The wild boars in the mountains had green faces and tusks, with bristles like thorns, and they knocked the Mo Luo to the ground with their snouts!

Little ones! Finish this job, and there'll be wine lees to eat later! That's delicious stuff!

A group of little wild boars responded happily, jumping and stomping on the two Mo Luos, while the geese pecked furiously, tearing their clothes to shreds!

The Green-faced Mo Luo cursed and raised his hand to cast a thunderbolt spell, but the Red-faced Mo Luo hurriedly stopped him. "Are you trying to make noise? If we alert anyone, how will we escape?"

"I can't stand it anymore; I'm going to kill these beasts!"

Before he could ignite the spell, a wild boar sat on his face.

The scene echoed with the sound of crisp bone cracking like sugarcane.

"Good! Very good!" the system exclaimed. "Unity is strength, friends!"

"What should we do next? Let's go take down that lunatic Si Jinghua!"

The golden-haired monkey stood high in the wicker basket and blew a sharp whistle. The animals turned and ran, their enthusiasm growing.

"Do you think they're going somewhere to eat?"

When the paper crane silently burned to ashes, the man sitting at the table drained his cold tea and slammed the porcelain cup onto the floor tiles, shattering it into pieces.

"Worthless things!" Si Jinghua shouted angrily. "If you had any skill, you wouldn't be in such a mess!"

As he spoke, he suddenly heard the sounds of wild boars and dogs getting closer.

Not only were the strange noises increasing, but the ground was also trembling, and the vibrations grew stronger.

In a nearby mountain pavilion, several Immortal Venerables paused their mahjong game. "What's going on? What's that noise?"

"The wild boars and pigs have run out!!"

"Scare the hell out of me! How can there be such a thing!!"

Only to hear a very clear cracking sound from above, Si Jinghua suddenly looked up and was drenched in wine lees, falling to the ground under the weight, unable to stand.

What is this—what is all of this!!

In the chaos, a wild boar burst through the door, with fragments of clothing still stuck on its tusks.

Dinner time!! That monkey didn't lie to us; there really is wine lees here, more than we can eat!!

Some dogs came running at the scent to join in the feast, and many animals couldn't resist the sweet aroma of the fully fermented wine, entering in droves.

Taking advantage of the chaos, the macaques rushed into the room, grabbing everything they could get their hands on, ready to trade those trivial items for roasted chickens.

The scene was already a cacophony of animal cries, mixed with someone's anguished cries for help.

"Woof woof woof!"

"Squeak squeak squeak!"

"Clap clap clap—"

Inside the Yulang Building, a small pageboy ran in, disheveled: "Bad news! Master Si's residence has been invaded by wild boars, monkeys, geese, and ducks!"

"We don't dare to go over and save him. Master Si's clothes have been gnawed clean by the pigs, and he has many wounds on his body. Please save his life!"

Before the child from the east gate could finish reporting, another child from the west gate ran in: "Master, Uncle! There are two naked Mo Luo in Suyuzhai, both squashed to death by that monkey!!"

"Ding! Defense break value increased by fifteen!" the system said: "Total thirty-seven, keep it up!"

Keding: "Si Jinghua is so difficult to deal with."

"Break his heart, break his heart!" the system said: "If you seduce Master, Si would probably go crazy, and we might complete the mission sooner!"

"Seems like I understand." Keding pondered for a moment and said: "I'll try to bring them together!"

System: "...Huh??"