Chapter 116: Tyrant x Imposter Bride x Little Mongrel (18)

Chapter 116: Tyrant x Imposter Bride x Little Mongrel (18)

When Xiao Shizheng woke up, he saw that Eunuch Dong was uncharacteristically standing close by. Frowning, Xiao Shizheng said, "What is it again?"

Eunuch Dong didn’t dare wake him and had been wringing his sleeves for a while. Finally, he blurted out, "There’s a dog sitting at the entrance of the Hall of Mental Tranquility!"

Xiao Shizheng suddenly sat up.

Gu Xin Qing was likely not lying to him.

With Gu Xin Qing’s formidable magical powers, how could he possibly be content to become a mere beast? Instead, it was likely that he was still bearing the fate of a great immortal’s life-extending decree, coming back as a dog to fulfill his destiny.

Gu Xin Qing, don’t think that just because you say nothing, I can’t see through you. In the end, aren’t you still serving me as a dog!

Thoughts swirled in Xiao Shizheng’s mind. He knew he had to seize this opportunity. Ideally, this dog should stay for seven or eight hundred days, ensuring his own longevity and prosperity, making him the most illustrious and prosperous ruler in history!

Eunuch Dong couldn’t understand his thoughts and hesitantly said, "This dog looks quite different from other mongrels. It has long ears and is covered in patterns. In all my fifty-odd years, I’ve never seen anything like it."

"Who cares what it looks like! Even if it has five eyes and eight mouths, we will keep it!" Xiao Shizheng said without hesitation. "Help me dress, I will meet it in person!"

Soon after, Xiao Shizheng saw the long-eared, patterned dog lying in the sun outside the Hall of Mental Tranquility.

He didn’t approach rashly but instead asked his attendants, "Has Rui Fengjun from Chaoxing Palace been moving about these days?"

"Your Majesty, he has stayed indoors, not stepping out. His meals are sent in by others, and the eunuchs take the empty food boxes out."

Only then did Xiao Shizheng walk a few steps toward the dog, realizing he had been given another opportunity.

He squatted beside the dog, gently stroking its smooth fur, and spoke softly, "In the past, I was arrogant and didn’t understand your good intentions in advising me."

"From now on, I will treat you well, and you must also repay me accordingly."

The dog rolled over and continued to sleep soundly in the sun, like a contented pig.

The guards in front of the palace looked at each other.

If it weren’t for Eunuch Dong specifically stopping them, they would have chased the strange-looking dog away long ago.

Who would dare block the imperial path, much less a dog!

Yet the emperor had commanded that they must not be rude to this dog and must be respectful in its presence from now on.

Was the emperor bewitched?

The entire scene was broadcast to Keding, who wore a regretful yet pleased expression.

Good, very good.

Watching the tyrant emperor work for free was incredibly satisfying.

Later, when the Beagle overlord showed him what madness was, Gu Xin Qing would elegantly appear alongside the dog, and that would likely drive Xiao Shizheng insane.

The Hall of Mental Tranquility now inexplicably housed a dog.

The Beagle, also known as the Beagle Hound, originates from Britain.

It is naturally very active and adept at tearing and dismantling furniture.

The emperor was gradually resuming his administrative duties, paying no attention to the dog’s comings and goings, and had instructed the eunuchs to give it whatever it liked to eat, with the Imperial Kitchen preparing special meals to cater to the royal dog’s tastes.

The chefs in the Imperial Kitchen were in a panic, almost crying out for help.

"What could a dog possibly eat?"

And so, beef bones, cow hearts, chicken, and venison—one dish after another, some raw, some cooked—were brought over. The dog ate with great relish and wasn’t picky at all.

Xiaoshi Zheng cautiously spent the entire day with this dog. While reviewing documents and official papers, he occasionally kept an eye on the dog with his peripheral vision, finding it much more obedient than before.

It either lay sleeping or wandered around, occasionally nibbling on flowers and grass.

"If it can protect my longevity like this for several dozen days, it would be effortless."

Perhaps because his mood had lightened, Xiaoshi Zheng gradually relaxed. In the evening, when he had some leisure time with tea, he even asked Eunuch Dong, "What is the imperial dog doing?"

"Your Majesty, the imperial dog is chewing on something."

"Oh? Perhaps it's a lamb bone discarded by the imperial chefs."

Xiaoshi Zheng, in a good mood, went over to pet the dog’s head and kindly said, "What are you playing with? Would you like to share the fun with me?"

The Beagle tilted its head and placed what it was chewing into his hand.

Xiaoshi Zheng smelled something foul and immediately reached a conclusion in his mind. At the same moment, he mechanically and slowly lowered his head to see the excrement in his hand.

A howl of despair pierced through the Eastern and Western Palaces.

"Shi!!!"

"It's shi!!!"

"How dare you—how dare you do this!!!"

"Your Majesty, please calm down. It's just a dog—"

Keding lay lazily on the warm couch, cutting window decorations in a leisurely manner.

"The emperor is quite suited to practicing tenor. What a loud, gong-like bark."

The system: "Do you think our little Beagle did it by accident… or on purpose?"

Keding shrugged. "Humans need to remove their rose-tinted glasses. Even the most innocent and lively dogs can have peculiar eating habits."

It was said that the emperor washed his hands for over half an hour.

He washed with well water, then hot water, then flower petal water, and finally with alcohol. His hands were almost rubbed raw. He also ordered a thorough investigation into which corner of the palace someone had relieved themselves in, with the culprit to be flayed alive and beaten to death.

"Your Majesty," Eunuch Dong, struggling to hold back laughter, nearly to the point of internal injury, forced a serious face to gently persuade, "You are already very clean. Look, the moon is already up. Would you like to have dinner?"

"I won’t eat!! Even if I starve to death today, I won’t touch a single thing!!"

With all his strength, Xiaoshi Zheng swept the porcelain basin to the floor, letting hot water spill everywhere.

"I order the Imperial Kitchen: I don’t want to see cornmeal, millet porridge, yellow steamed buns, or pickled vegetables for the rest of the year. Any food that is deep yellow is strictly forbidden!"

The news inevitably spread, reaching everyone’s ears.

Everyone looked serious and spoke as if they were incapable of smiling.

"Your Majesty… actually touched that filth with your own hands?"

"This is truly lawless and intolerable... How could His Majesty the Emperor endure such humiliation given his temperament!"

"It's not just that, apparently he even pinched it and didn't realize it right away!"

"Heaven help us!"

Chai Chaohu returned from checking the peace pulse and hadn't received the news yet, feeling somewhat puzzled.

"Perhaps spring warmth has arrived, as the pulses of several concubines have improved significantly."

The other imperial physicians also chimed in agreement.

"It’s unclear what’s happening today, but all the noble ladies are much healthier. I heard that the Empress Dowager even drank two bowls of chicken soup in one sitting, her appetite was excellent!"

"And the Empress, her complexion was rosy and her eyes gleamed today, she held me and spoke at length!"

Jiang Yi prepared a prescription and instructed the young apprentice to boil the medicine.

"Head Physician, what is this for..."

"Boil it and take it to the Emperor for hand washing," Jiang Yi said. "Tell him this medicine removes evil and dispels negative energy, but after external use, he must not touch meat or engage in carnal activities for ten days."

"Got it! I'll head there right away!"

The next day, the Emperor only had half a bowl of vegetable porridge early in the morning, while the Imperial Kitchen was sending out all the stock as if it were an endless Lunar New Year celebration.

Cabbage couldn't be eaten, various meats often couldn't be served, and now millet, yellow millet, and soybean flour were all off-limits.

Well, everyone shared among themselves, all of it was good stuff!

With the lesson from the previous day, the Emperor didn't dare go near the dog again, but the dog, after consuming various unmentionable items, wagged its tail and came looking for him.

The Emperor's loud, hoarse voice echoed through the Eastern and Western Palaces once more.

"Stay back!! Don’t lick me!!!"

"Why hasn’t the scoundrel who defecates everywhere in the palaces been exterminated yet, and why does its breath still stink like that!!"

"Don’t lick me—go away, scram!!"

"Let go! Let go! LET GO!!!"

Chai Chaohu returned from checking the peace pulse again, still not up-to-date with the news, and quite puzzled.

"Attendant Lady Xu, who had tuberculosis, seemed to be rallying today with a final burst of vitality."

"Not only did her heart and lungs grow stronger, but her previously pale face even gained a rosy hue."

"The Emperor’s face was licked by the dog."

"It almost licked his mouth, didn’t it?"

"Didn’t the dog jump onto the low table while the Emperor was reviewing scrolls and lick him directly? I guess it probably did!"

Everyone chatted earnestly, discussing the symptoms and preventive measures with sincerity and seriousness.

Jiang Yi slowly wrote the prescription and handed it to the young apprentice.

The young apprentice had much to say that evening.

"It’s rumored that His Majesty washed his face forty times and his hands thirty-five times today, and even accidentally got pepper in his eyes!"

"Boil this medicine to make a bath," Jiang Yi said indifferently. "The medicinal properties are conflicting. If you follow this, you should fast for an additional ten days and completely abstain from sensual pleasures."

The women in the harem have indeed been eating more and have started to become more cheerful and lively.

While screams continued in the Hall of Mental Tranquility, the eastern and western palaces were basking in the lush spring scenery, with grass growing and flowers blooming beautifully.

Xiao Shizheng wished he could govern in full armor and a face guard, but he dared not confine the imperial dog in an iron cage.

He had knelt and cried before Gu Xinqing, who then used his late mother as a threat, leaving him plagued by fear and desire.

But Gu Xinqing, you are too ruthless! Even in the body of a dog, you’re willing to humiliate yourself like this!!

Keding has been roasting persimmons by the hearth these days, occasionally watching the emperor’s compulsive cleanliness as a form of entertainment.

The system, curious, asked what the next step was.

"No plan necessary," Keding said. "Dogs need to be taken for walks."

"Beagles, in particular, need to be walked."

"Have you seen Xiao Shizheng take it for a walk?"

If you don’t take the dog out for a walk, it will have excess energy and creativity with no outlet.

Even modern people might not be able to handle the beagle’s mischievous deeds, and people from ancient times would probably faint.

The system froze. "People from ancient times... probably didn’t have the habit of walking dogs either."

"Exactly," Keding said with a smile. "The real retribution is just beginning. The only thing we need to worry about is whether to get the melon seeds in five-spice or milky flavor."