Chapter 23 His True Self

Chapter 23: The Real Him

Sexia found it hard to describe the swelling emotion in his heart, a feeling like a tide, soft and abundant, swaying within his chest.

Overwhelmed, he instinctively lowered his gaze. Xierlan's lips were right there before him; all he needed was to lift his chin slightly to kiss them.

Yet he remained motionless, utterly unable to react. He could only allow Xierlan to gaze at him with a smile, awaiting his response.

Zerg relationships were never this sweet to the point of being overwhelming, nor did they stir such heart-fluttering feelings. Thus, Sexia now felt an unmistakable, flooding sense of embarrassment.

Sexia felt his cheeks burning. His eyes trembling, he kissed Xierlan's lips, unconsciously curling his fingertips in shyness.

So adorable.

Xierlan, of course, noticed Sexia's little movements and was always left agitated by him.

Completely helpless against Sexia, ahhh, how did this Zerg always capture him?

Xierlan's heart melted into a puddle. A faint, clean bamboo scent lingered during the kiss, pure and clear. When his lips were pried apart, Sexia in his arms was unbelievably obedient.

Xierlan instinctively supported Sexia's waist to prevent him from slumping during the kiss. He kissed deeply, and as Sexia stepped back a few paces, he was pressed against the wall, his slender back against the cool brick surface. The knitted cat ears on his head trembled slightly.

Compared to his initial clumsiness, Xierlan had now learned, through their intimacy, how to make each other comfortable. With just a brief kiss, Sexia had melted into a puddle, his hand wearing a matching wrist cuff drooping weakly, only to be slowly grasped by Xierlan.

When Xierlan had kissed his fill, he slowly pulled away and looked down at Sexia in his arms. Sexia's eyes were glistening with moisture, lips slightly parted as he breathed softly in small gasps.

Xierlan was instantly smitten. He lowered his head to kiss Sexia's cheek, then finally pressed a kiss to his forehead. Suddenly remembering something, he asked, "Hmm?"

"Haven't we forgotten to buy groceries?"

Sexia nodded quietly, the cat ears on his head swaying along. Coincidentally, the female Zerg was wearing adorable cat ears, his expression carrying its usual shyness and innocence, making Xierlan's heart race just from a few glances.

"I bought some. They're in the kitchen."

Xierlan blinked. "Okay, then I'll go start cooking."

With that, Sexia was patted on the head as if he were a child. The latter, wearing the cat ear hair clip, had his hair tousled messily, his snow-white strands sticking up foolishly before he slowly smoothed them down, his ears reddening.

Just a kiss...?

Sexia pursed his lips, unsure what to do. The robot butler was still charging itself. He picked up his light brain, wanting to search for gifts to give Xierlan from popular shopping sites, but forced to set the idea aside for now as he couldn't find anything suitable.

His Primary Male was always simple and unadorned, never asking for anything. Aside from what Sexia voluntarily gave, Xierlan was always the one actively trying to make him happy.

Sexia lowered his gaze, rubbing the screen of his light brain. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a pushed news article about development, and his eyes flickered slightly.

Pino Star was originally a barren planet, developed over centuries with mixed influences from various factions. Yet it was still known as the most magnificent and mystical star of prosperity. It excelled at making all Zerg who arrived experience moments where life, death, decay, and flourish intersected—after all, for many Zerg, it was a dangerous yet enchanting place, full of opportunities and collapse.

Sexia knew what that place was like. Xierlan's world sounded safe and peaceful—would he like such a place?

"Baby—" Xierlan's voice came from the kitchen. "Come keep me company and help wash the vegetables."

Sexia snapped out of his thoughts, turned off his light brain, and walked into the kitchen. Xierlan moved quickly, cutting vegetables steadily and naturally as if he had practiced countless times. He wore a light blue apron with a simple bow tied at the back, looking very gentle and domestic.

Hearing Sexia approach, he couldn't help but glance back, and Sexia—still wearing the cat accessories—caught his eye.

The pink-white ears swayed slightly with movement. Seemingly unaware he still wore them, Sexia looked over with clear seriousness, like an elegant and beautiful white cat, the tail behind his waist gently swaying.

Xierlan didn't know how many times his heart could be stolen by this female Zerg. With reddening ears, he turned away pointedly to continue cutting vegetables. "Baby, why don't you grab a stool and chat with me? That'll be enough."

Too focused on Xierlan's needs, Sexia hadn't fully diverted his attention. Only then did he realize he still hadn't removed the accessories, and the redness that had just faded from his face returned.

"I'll wash the vegetables."

He took off the accessories and placed them neatly on the sofa before joining Xierlan to cook. With help, things moved quickly.

Xierlan was talkative, stir-frying methodically while chatting with Sexia. "Did you pick out seeds? We can take a look later when we rest."

Sexia placed the washed vegetables beside him, speaking softly, "Not yet."

Xierlan hummed in acknowledgment. "Then wait for me. But thinking about the toys you bought me that I haven't gotten to play with yet makes me a little sad. But it's okay, it's only been three months."

Too much could happen in three months. Xierlan pondered, thinking he needed to study hard to prevent Sexia from passively following the plot.

Sexia was a villain, but so what? It didn't stop him from wanting Sexia to become the protagonist.

The thought energized Xierlan. He quickly began cooking, adding ingredients to the pot. Without turning around, he clearly said to Sexia, "You can go wait outside for half an hour, baby. I've got this."

"Five dishes, it'll be quick."

Xierlan cooked fervently. Before the food was even served, its rich aroma filled the air.

Sexia really wanted to offer to cook instead, but faced with Xierlan's culinary skills, he couldn't bring himself to say it. After going out, he did all the chores he could, though the robot butler had already handled most of them.

"Okay," Sexia didn't move but tilted his head seriously. "Primary Male, is there anything else I can do? Do you need me for anything else?"

"No, just wait to eat."

Xierlan didn't mind these things. After all, in a shared life, if one gave more, the other might seem to give less. Although love could be measured by how much each partner gave, love wasn't just about giving, and its boundaries couldn't be defined solely by that. Xierlan simply felt that being together well was enough—overthinking would only drain energy.

His parents were like that. Initially, the money his mother, Ms. Bai, used to set up a stall was earned through hard labor by his then-impoverished father. At the time, his mother was pregnant. They had 8,000 a month: 1,500 for living expenses (1,000 for Ms. Bai's pregnancy needs, 300 for his father), 200 for utilities and phone bills, and the remaining 6,000+ was used for stock. Later, when his mother earned money, his father didn't take a cent, not even the initial capital he'd earned.

It seemed like his father gave more, but in truth, the entire family was supported by his decisive mother. His father was laid-back and lacked initiative, entirely driven by Ms. Bai's ideas—including their rise to wealth, though his father's role was equally crucial.

Xierlan served the food and placed it on the table, planning to have an open conversation with Sexia during their rest.

For now, he set the dishes before Sexia. "I learned this at the correctional facility today. Try it. Tomorrow, I'll learn photography—I haven't tried it before. Once I practice, I'll take photos of you. Do you like having your picture taken? My first impression of you was actually that photo on the Star Net—the one of your back."

Xierlan still felt moved thinking about it; he really loved the feeling of that photo.

Tall and slender, cold and noble, a few strands of snow-white hair lifted by the wind, his aura almost spilling out like ice from the imaging screen.

Of course, he also adored this shy, utterly endearing Sexia.

Sexia hadn't expected Xierlan's first impression of him to be that photo leaked before a battle. His fingertips paused on the knife and fork.

"I always thought," Sexia struggled to describe his feelings, a faint blush instantly spreading across his face, "it was during that bonding day."

Concubines, of course, had no concept of marriage, only bonding. Xierlan recalled that day—Sexia locked in an almost airtight metal box, wearing a suppressor, curled up in pain and disarray.

Sexia widened his eyes, meeting Xierlan's calm gaze, and couldn't help curling his fingertips.

Xierlan's ears reddened. "Later, I realized it wasn't. I just wanted to say, regardless of whether we had any emotional foundation, I wanted you to become Primary Consort. I didn't want you to continue suffering in that aspect. Besides, I've always thought you were outstanding, Sexia."

Truly outstanding. When Xierlan searched for Sexia, he saw a long list of honors and realized what kind of life Sexia had been living all these years.

His promotion took only six years—almost an impossibility. Sexia was young, and such youth was a glaring obstacle in that vortex of power.

Sexia must have made enemies of many powerful figures. For him to fight his way out of that situation in just a few years is enough proof that Sexia is exceptional in every way, reaching a very, very high standard.

Of course, Xierlan said earnestly, "Really, truly outstanding, and incredibly capable."

So he was equally unwilling to accept Sexia merely being the villain.

Hearing these words, Sexia's heart raced. His lips parted slightly as if he wanted to ask something, but in the end, he remained silent.

Xierlan was suddenly all smiles again. He adored the qualities Sexia possessed—distant yet inexperienced, super adorable.

He hadn't seen these traits in anyone else, or perhaps Xierlan simply had no interest in looking. Even if someone else had them, he wouldn’t care.

Perhaps because they had touched on these topics, Xierlan originally wanted to say more about his feelings, but seeing Sexia's reaction, he suddenly went speechless. He silently lowered his head, feeling the warmth spreading across his cheeks.

Why couldn't he get a single word out? This is so lame.

They finished their meal in silence. As Xierlan prepared to take the bowls out to wash them, the fully charged robot housekeeper zoomed over on its wheels and swiftly took them away, its voice crisp and clear, "Sir, you go rest! I can handle this!"

Xierlan recognized it as the housekeeper robot he and Sexia had chosen together. He blinked and asked, "Baby, did you give it a name?"

Sexia seemed to come back to himself only then, shaking his head. "No, I wanted to wait for you to choose."

Xierlan thought seriously for a moment, then fetched a few pieces of paper and handed some to Sexia. "How about this: we'll each write down a few names and let it pick one for itself."

Sexia had originally intended to let the primary male decide, but seeing Xierlan's suggestion, he didn't refuse. He said okay softly, thought very seriously, wrote a few names on the paper, and finally mixed his slips with Xierlan's.

The little housekeeper initially only had the ID number 000. Sexia called it over, and it quickly came rolling over on its wheels.

Xierlan crouched down and scattered the slips on the coffee table. "You can pick a name for yourself."

The little housekeeper blinked its adorable eyes, its mechanical hand picking up one slip. On it were clearly written the two characters for "Biscuit."

"Then you'll be called Biscuit."

Xierlan gathered the remaining slips and threw them away. Turning to Sexia, he said, "Baby, you go take a bath first. I'll program some commands for Biscuit."

Sexia froze for a moment, then obediently agreed and headed to the bathroom to wash up.

Xierlan tinkered with the little robot for a long time, with Unit 99's help upgrading all its programs to the highest standards.

The technological level of the Zerg was similar to Earth's, though their culture was different, and their focus varied.

"This should do it," Xierlan said. Originally, this smart housekeeper could only handle household management, but now it was loaded with various smart systems. "All the systems are installed now. I wonder how well they'll work here in the Zerg territory."

Hopefully we won't need them. He patted Biscuit's head and also gathered his clothes to take a shower.

Meanwhile, when Sexia came out, he happened to see the cat ears and cat tail he had taken off earlier. They lay on the sofa, silently asserting their presence.

Sexia wore a light-colored sleeping robe, loosely tied at the waist, subtly outlining his figure as he moved.

He walked over and picked them up, his ice-blue eyes filled with curiosity and hesitation, along with a hint of embarrassment that was hard to ignore.

Sexia checked the time on his smart device—it was only 8:30. If he placed an order now, it would arrive in about ten minutes.

He never knew what to give Xierlan, but when it came to things like this, Sexia got so flustered he felt hot all over. Still, he finally selected a few sets, added them to the shopping cart, and placed the order.

By the time he finished, Sexia's ears were completely red. He glanced up at the tightly closed bathroom door, then looked away, setting the cat ears aside properly, nervously waiting for the delivery.

Unfortunately, the order took awhile to process. By the time Xierlan finished showering and stepped out, he was puzzled to see the Zerg sitting completely still on the sofa.

"Baby, why didn’t you wait on the bed?"

Sexia's cheeks were burning. When he looked over, his eyes seemed to shimmer with a glistening moisture.

Xierlan's heart instantly softened, and he realized his words might have carried a suggestive tone. He stiffly added, "I just thought it might be more comfortable on the bed. You should rest properly."

Sexia looked dazed, which once again struck Xierlan as utterly adorable.

Helpless, he walked over and, whether he got the hint or not, took his hand and led him toward the bedroom.

"By the way, there's something I want to talk to you about."

Xierlan suddenly turned very serious, his movements natural and relaxed, not making the Zerg feel nervous, as if it were no big deal.

Sexia, being led forward, hadn't had time to react yet. He could only instinctively glance back at the closed door before, with red ears, being led away by the human.

Seeing the bed, Xierlan's eyes lit up. He lay down casually and comfortably, wearing simple blue two-piece pajamas, his black hair slightly messy from the movement.

The bedroom light was bright, clearly revealing the expression in his eyes.

The human's eyes were very bright, clear and pure. His skin looked exceptionally translucent and soft under the room's gentle lighting, appearing very, very approachable, radiating youth and innocence.

And indeed, that was the case.

Xierlan patted the spot beside him, his eyes sparkling. "Baby, come here. I want to talk to you."

Sexia moved. He also got onto the bed, but unlike Xierlan's casual and lazy demeanor, his movements were slow, making the shifts in his posture and figure very clear. The overlapping collar of his robe parted slightly, revealing smooth, fair skin underneath.

He crawled up like a cat, even obediently nestling into Xierlan's arms, his cheek affectionately pressed against Xierlan's chest.

Xierlan's heart melted instantly. He raised a hand to caress Sexia's face. Sexia seemed to rely on him deeply; when he opened his eyes to look up, there was a clear shimmer of moisture in them. When Xierlan touched his cheek, Sexia even naturally nuzzled into it softly, unbelievably sweet.

Xierlan found it hard to describe his feelings. His thumb stroked that small patch of skin on Sexia's cheek, and suddenly, "Baby."

He said very seriously, lowered his head, and kissed his eyelids, not hiding the adoration in his voice. "You're so good."

Xierlan couldn't help himself; he gently pulled Sexia a little higher in his arms.

"Now, let me talk about this matter."

His eyes were very bright, and he lightly nuzzled Sexia's cheek with his nose, as if to comfort him.

"I really want to study, but because I'm human, I could only enter the reform institution by using an identification code to obtain an identity sequence. By adopting a Zerg identity, I can freely browse the websites. I've already gotten all that set up, and everything is moving along smoothly."

Sexia was somewhat stunned. "Primary male..."

Xierlan replied very seriously, "Yeah, I'm here."

He reached out and tucked Sexia's stray hair behind his ear. The gesture was intimate enough, gentle enough, that every time Xierlan repeated it, Sexia's heart felt as if it were being gently washed by waves, all emotions swept away, leaving only just wanting to feel that again.

Xierlan very naturally expressed his embarrassment and helplessness in front of his powerful partner.

"I want to start a research institute, but I can't do it alone. I also can't make a clean exit with my credentials after finishing at the reform institution. So I really, really need your help."

Xierlan didn’t want to make promises too early. He knew Sexia wouldn’t refuse him, but he also had no intention of taking advantage of the little Zerg because of that.

"After all, it's something that requires a lot of effort and resources. I hope you answer according to your true feelings. If you can't help, it's okay—I can figure it out myself. Your decision won't affect what I want to do for you."

Xierlan said very seriously, "Of course, what I mean is, I hope you can make your decision completely freely and without constraints. Don’t worry that I might pull away because of this, or that your refusal will change things between us."

After all, his request was asking the impossible!

Sexia remained silent for a long time, tightening his arms around Xierlan as if trying to bury his entire body in his embrace.

Xierlan also held him tightly, saying nothing more, not wanting to influence Sexia's judgment.

Just as he was comforting Sexia like a child, Xierlan felt a soft, damp touch on his neck.

He froze for a moment before realizing it was Sexia kissing his neck, light and gentle like raindrops.

"Sexia…"

Anyway, Xierlan was determined to accomplish these things. Even if Sexia couldn't help or didn't want to, it was all acceptable to him. Xierlan found it completely normal and even felt deeply comforted.

Because he was afraid Sexia would exhaust everything to support him just because of those insignificant kindnesses he had shown.

This was indeed a form of love, and Xierlan would accept it wholeheartedly and respond in kind, but that didn't conflict with his wish for Sexia to be a little more selfish.

Xierlan always handled such situations naturally. He spoke slowly, "I originally planned to bring this up later, but I think there are benefits to saying it early."

Just as he was about to say something, the male insect in his arms gently bit his Adam's apple, lightly licking away the words Xierlan was about to say.

Xierlan’s eyes trembled, his cheeks flushing deeply, "Baby… why are you biting me?"

Sexia finally looked up, meeting Xierlan’s eyes and seeing the tremor in them, "Of course I’ll agree."

Sexia felt that Xierlan was a rogue who had stolen his heart and kept asking if he could take it.

Wasn’t it already obvious enough? What was there to hesitate about?

Sexia’s upbringing meant he couldn’t think of as many ways to love his partner as Xierlan could, but Sexia's love was no less—in fact, it was even greater.

He sat on him, lowering his gaze, his forehead pressed against Xierlan’s, "I never know what I can do for you, primary male. When you make requests of me, I’m happy. When you seek my help, I feel honored. Your world is different from mine, and I’m afraid of failing and making your efforts seem wasted."

Xierlan didn’t want to betray his sincerity, and neither did Sexia.

He reached up, cupping the human’s face, gazing into Xierlan’s eyes before closing his own and kissing him.

"I’ll help you."

As he spoke, the warm, moist scent of bamboo drifted over, steady and delicate. Xierlan’s heart raced faster and faster until he uncontrollably lifted his chin and kissed Sexia back.

His hand instinctively slid downward but was caught just as he was about to touch. Sexia pulled away from his lips, breathing softly, and whispered with reddened ears, "Wait."

Sexia left, and after seeing the door close, Xierlan lay flat on the bed, slowly letting out a breath.

His mind was a chaotic mess, but more than anything, he felt irrepressible joy, rolling around on the bed happily a couple of times.

"System, System, are you there?"

"I’m here, I’m here, I’m here!"

99 emerged, having been happily watching the couple only to be shut in a blackout space because they were kissing. It was both thrilled and frustrated, as if the climax of its excitement had been cut short, but it hadn’t expected to be let out so soon.

"What’s up, host?"

Xierlan buried his face in the pillow, then looked up and said very profoundly, "Nothing, just spoiled by my wife and needing to vent to clear my head."

99 was nearly moved to tears, "I told you pure love is the best to fangirl over. How sweet is this? Ah, I really can’t take it anymore."

"My couple 99 System vows to defend pure love to the death."

The human and the System rolled around on the bed together, 99 excitedly rolled around several times before being picked up and shaken by Xierlan.

"I can’t take it anymore, I’ve been completely captured by Sexia. Thank you for sending me to the insect race. I’m so happy."

The System was shaken up. Just as they were excited, footsteps sounded outside the door. Xierlan’s eyes widened, and he quickly stuffed the System under the pillow, then frantically tidied the area where he had been rolling.

Sexia’s footsteps paused outside for a long time, as if he had no intention of coming in.

Xierlan’s heart was already pounding, but now Sexia’s hesitation made him even more nervous.

Why wasn’t he coming in? His heart was about to leap out of his chest.

Outside the door, Sexia’s heart was also racing. He reached out and finally turned the doorknob.

Xierlan had thought Sexia had left to attend to something, but when he saw what came next, his face instantly flushed red, even his neck wasn't spared, flushing a vivid red.

Aaaah!

How could an insect be so utterly irresistible?!

Sexia had mentally prepared for a long time. This was a very ordinary style, not the general’s uniform Xierlan had seen before.

His figure was excellent, soft snow-colored long hair cascading over his shoulders, the brooch on his chest gleaming with a cold, solemn sheen under the light, his demeanor imposing and dignified.

Sexia’s legs were long, his boots tightly wrapping around his beautiful calves, making a steady sound as they stepped on the ground.

He looked down at him, his usually soft and obedient face now full of calmness. Even those blue eyes, often shimmering with emotion, were now serene. As he looked down, his face under the brim cast a deep shadow.

Sexia reached out, his hand outlined elegantly and powerfully by white gloves. He cupped Xierlan’s face, lifting it to meet his own, his movements subtly blending tenderness with an exhilarating dominance.

Sexia leaned down, calling his name calmly for the first time, "Xierlan."

Xierlan felt like he was going to die.

His face was frighteningly red, too embarrassed to look at Sexia, but the hand on his cheek gently held his chin, firmly lifting it to make him meet his gaze.

Those calm eyes held an indescribable moisture, and Sexia coolly leaned down, meeting him at eye level, "See?"

"Your primary consort’s disciplined and solemn appearance."

Xierlan turned red like a boiled shrimp, unable to speak. The male insect before him was as aloof and indifferent as if he were a completely different being, but perhaps to lessen the distance, his restrained coldness became like a rose blooming on a glacier—intense, icy, yet mesmerizingly seductive.

Just when Xierlan thought it was over, Sexia took his hand and placed it on the collar of his uniform.

"But Sexia isn’t disciplined and solemn. Do you want to see him?"

Xierlan’s HP bar felt like it was draining repeatedly, his hands trembling with nervousness. Sexia slowly closed his eyes, waiting for him to undo the uniform.

The process was agonizingly slow, time stretching out infinitely.

Xierlan couldn’t bring himself to look into his eyes, his hands shaking as he undid the uniform. But halfway through, catching a glimpse of what was beneath, Xierlan completely lost it, blood rushing madly to his face.

Inside was a chest chain, partially concealed but clearly visible, dazzling under the light.

Sexia took initiative to undo the rest—it was a bodysuit-style chain connecting to the thighs, starting from the lower abdomen and trailing down, gradually disappearing.

Sexia seemed half-softened, a clear glimmer of moisture shining in his eyes. He gently leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of Xierlan’s lips. The movement was very unpracticed.

"The real Sexia is soft and warm," he murmured softly, close to Xierlan’s ear. "Would you like to feel it, primary male?"

Xierlan’s mind went completely blank.

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Author's note: I'm spent...

——

Fixed some typos!