Chapter 17: Loud Farts, Silent Farts

Chapter 17: Loud Farts, Silent Farts

With netizens hyping him up and Director Ma egging him on, Gu Yunlang stepped forward, deciding to take on the challenge first, to show the other guests how it's done.

He walked up to the box, picked up the folding fan, steeled himself, exhaled, and snapped the fan open.

At the same moment, the alarm in the corridor blared, and the countdown began—each beep like a death sentence, instantly amping up the tension.

Gu Yunlang spotted the code, entered it quickly, opened the box, grabbed the silver coin, and turned to run.

Two seconds after he finished, time was up. The men in black burst out of their cages and gave chase at full speed.

Gu Yunlang didn't look back, keeping his eyes fixed on the exit, sprinting back to the safe zone at top speed. The men in black didn't even get close to touching him.

He won, and the silver coin was his.

His fans went crazy in the bullet comments, and the crowd burst into enthusiastic applause.

Lan Miaomiao clapped her hands and clicked her tongue: "Teacher Gu is crazy fast. Hey, Gu Sai, was he this fast as a kid?"

Gu Sai thought for a moment, then said, "Yeah, in elementary school sports meets, whether it was sprints, long-distance, or relays, he basically won everything."

Lan Miaomiao: "Wow, amazing!"

Gu Sai: "Yeah, he really is."

Chen Wang overheard this and looked at Gu Sai. He could actually hear admiration and worship in Gu Sai's voice—what was that about?

So he can run fast. Big deal.

Just then, Director Ma asked, "Who's next to take on the challenge?"

"I'll go." Chen Wang stepped forward, not forgetting to throw Gu Sai a "just you wait" look.

He stood there cool as a cucumber in front of the box, opened the fan with his right hand while his left was already punching in the code—not wasting a single second, staying totally chill the whole time, completely unbothered by the alarm.

After opening the box, he grabbed the coin and ran back, the men in black bursting out of their cages to chase him.

To make Gu Sai see him in a new light and fall even harder for him, he ran as fast as his legs could carry him. But just one step away from the safe zone, he suddenly stopped, turned back to look at the eight men in black, a smirk tugging at his lips as he dangled the coin—the taunt couldn't have been more obvious.

"Bro, what are you doing? Just step out already!"

"Bro, I'm begging you, this ain't the time to show off. Get out here! If you get caught, you won't be so smug!"

The men in black took the bait and gritted their teeth, running even faster. In all their time on this show, nobody had ever dared to taunt them like this—to them, it was a slap in the face.

The lead man in black was about to grab Chen Wang, but the second his hand shot out, Chen Wang took a step back and crossed into the safe zone.

The men in black slammed on the brakes and piled into each other.

"Wow!" Lan Miaomiao and Gu Sai exclaimed simultaneously.

Chen Wang was thoroughly pleased, holding up the coin, spreading his hands, shrugging, soaking in the applause, and tossing out a cocky remark: "Not all that, honestly."

Heh, with that insanely cool performance I just put on, Gu Sai's gotta be totally whipped for me. He'll probably even get a nosebleed thinking about it in the middle of the night.

Gu Yunlang crossed his arms, glanced at him, then at Gu Sai clapping, his expression unreadable.

"Bro is a beast!!"

"See, I told you, Bro is a six-sided warrior with no weaknesses."

"But he can't have kids though."

Guan Yujia seized the moment to brown-nose: "Bro, you're so manly and awesome! How'd you train? Teach me."

Chen Wang wished it were Gu Sai saying this to him, but nope, it had to be this annoying pest.

He said impatiently, "Just go learn from your own coach."

Guan Yujia said, "But I think everything the coach teaches is a waste of time."

Chen Wang: "Why are you trash-talking yourself like that?"

Guan Yujia: ???

"Hahaha, so the waste of time is Guan Yujia."

"Bro's mouth, man—he could poison himself just licking his lips."

Xie Yang had lost this game last time. Seeing Gu Yunlang and Chen Wang win so easily this time, he figured the men in black must've been swapped out for a bunch of pushovers.

So he volunteered to go third.

He grabbed the coin and made it halfway before nearly getting caught. Turns out the men in black hadn't changed—it was just that the gap between him and the other two was way too big.

But he wasn't about to throw in the towel. A couple meters from the safe zone, he suddenly leaped, trying to jump his way out.

But he overestimated himself. His body made it out, but his legs didn't cross the line.

Just as the men in black were about to grab his ankle and yank him back, Lan Miaomiao suddenly grabbed Xie Yang by the hair and hauled him out.

"OW—" Xie Yang screamed in agony. Sure, the win wasn't exactly pretty, but at least he got the silver coin.

Picking himself up off the ground, he rubbed his sore scalp, grimaced, and reluctantly muttered a thanks to Lan Miaomiao.

Lan Miaomiao flicked away the strands of hair she'd ripped out and asked, "I did you such a huge favor, and all I get is a 'thanks'?"

Xie Yang: "What else? Isn't a 'thanks' enough?"

Lan Miaomiao curved her red lips and wagged her finger: "Not enough. I want more than that."

Xie Yang: ...

"Lan Miaomiao isn't gonna make Xie Yang repay her with his body, is she?"

"No way, absolutely no way. Mom won't let her daughter like someone like that!"

"Someone like what? Xie Yang might look a bit sketchy, have some dirty thoughts, be a bit low-class, and have some deep forehead wrinkles, but other than that, he's not bad, alright?"

"Is there anything else?"

Xie Yang looked at Lan Miaomiao's smiling face, a bit confused: "What? What do you want me to do?"

Lan Miaomiao leaned in closer: "I want you to repay me properly."

Xie Yang seemed to catch her drift. Either this girl had taken a liking to him, or she wanted to stir up a CP with him. Either way, he was happy to play along.

So he flashed his signature sleazy grin again and asked, "How should I repay you?"

Lan Miaomiao: "Call me Daddy."

Xie Yang: ...

"Hahahahaha, I knew it, how could my girl Miao Miao ever fancy that early-ejaculating, limp-dick Xie Yang!"

"Miao Miao's whole vibe is on brand as always. Xie Yang's silence is deafening."

When it was Guan Yujia's turn to grab the silver coin, he knew he couldn't outrun the man in black, so he didn't hold out any hope and just wanted to put on a show. He didn't chase speed, only elegance in his stride—going for maximum swagger.

But the man in black might have never seen such a weak man before—running slower than Lan Miaomiao—so he deliberately teased him, running alongside him, refusing to give him a quick end.

Guan Yujia was stuck between two dudes, and in a panic, he ripped a huge, loud fart!

That loud fart not only shook the man in black, but also froze Guan Yujia himself on the spot, totally clueless.

Lan Miaomiao: "What's that sound in the hallway? I think I heard firecrackers."

Gu Sai: "Nah, not firecrackers—sounds like someone's banging a drum."

"I'm dying, hahahaha... It's not firecrackers or drumming, it's a fart, a loud one!"

"What's wrong with Guan Yujia? He's usually so elegant, how could he let out a loud fart in public?"

"So what if our Jia Jia farts? Don't you fart too? Besides, can you control whether a fart is loud or silent?"

"I can! I can turn a loud fart into a quiet one when I'm out in public."

"So jealous. My biggest problem is I can't do silent farts—mine are always super loud, like a motorcycle or pants splitting. In class, I have to pinch them off and let them out little by little."

"My favorite farts are two kinds: one is crisp and quick, loud like thunder on a rainy day. The other is the silent-but-deadly kind that reeks—that stench is absolutely top-shelf."

"Clearly a true fart gourmet."