Chapter 75: One Kiss Burns Five Calories

Chapter 75: One Kiss Can Burn Five Calories

Chen Wang scoffed, "Me? Childish? I think the one blaming the wrong person is the childish one."

Gu Yunlang: "You..."

Chen Wang smugly shook his head at him, with a look that said, "What are you gonna do about it?"

Gu Sai jumped in, "Hey, let's not fight. After we finish eating, I'll take you guys out for a stroll. The noodle shop's about to get packed, and I'm afraid you'll get recognized."

Gu Yunlang's voice was unusually gentle, "Isn't being recognized a good thing? It could bring some business to Auntie's shop."

Chen Wang snorted, "With how famous you are, how many people can you attract? Leave this to me. After all, I'm the nation's heartthrob—from grandmas and aunties to students and little kids, everybody knows me. If I stand at the door, I'm a walking billboard!"

Gu Yunlang stared at him coldly, and Chen Wang shot back with a sharp glare. Their eyes met and practically sparked.

Just then, Gu Sai piped up weakly, "But promoting the noodle shop is a commercial activity. If you do this without the company's permission, you're breaching the contract."

Chen Wang: ...

Gu Yunlang: ...

How did they forget that?

But Chen Wang wasn't about to give up the chance to score points with Gu Sai. He slapped the table and said, "I have an idea. Even without showing our faces, we can pack your shop with customers!"

Gu Sai asked curiously, "What idea?"

Chen Wang: "Don't forget, besides this face being valuable, my body can sell—wait, no, not sell, attract."

Gu Yunlang: ... I've got a bad feeling about this.

After the two of them devoured a huge bowl of noodles each, they got down to business.

Chen Wang said to Wu Xiulan, "Auntie, get ready to rake it in!"

Wu Xiulan was still a bit worried, "Will this work? Don't go catching a cold out there."

Gu Yunlang said, "It's fine, Auntie. I swim in the winter all the time; I'm not afraid of the cold."

Chen Wang refused to be outdone, "Same here, I'm in great shape. Right, Gu Sai?"

Gu Sai: ?? Why're you asking me?!

When night fell, a never-before-seen "hunk marketing" campaign kicked off in front of the noodle shop.

Under the lights, Chen Wang wore a majestic lion headpiece, while Gu Yunlang donned a fierce tiger headpiece. Their muscular upper bodies were out in the Ancheng afternoon sun.

Bronze skin, chiseled abs, full pecs, and sleek biceps, thanks to the lighting, was a visual feast even in front of the somewhat shabby noodle shop.

They moved to the music, doing a captivating leg-sweeping dance that made passersby stop in their tracks.

"Recharge 100 yuan to become a member and shake hands with the Lion King and Tiger King. Recharge 200 yuan to touch the abs. Recharge 500 yuan for a hug!"

The loudspeaker kept looping the tantalizing ad.

At first, the onlookers just whispered to each other, snapping pics with their phones, but no one dared to come forward.

Then a woman in a fur coat who had an imposing presence pushed through the crowd and slapped a thousand yuan down: "I'll recharge. I want to hug both the Lion King and the Tiger King!"

This was way cheaper than hiring male models, and there were free noodles involved.

Under the crowd's envious gaze, the woman wrapped one arm around the lion and the other around the tiger, happily groping their firm chests and abs until she was practically bleeding from the nose and didn't even notice.

That was the spark that set it off.

"I... I'll recharge 200."

"I'll recharge 500!"

"Give me 500 too, I want to hug the tiger!"

"The lion, the lion looks better to touch!"

The crowd erupted and surged toward the cash register. Wu Xiulan and Gu Sai were frantically collecting money and registering customers, all smiles and sweating buckets.

In the kitchen, the helper auntie worked both arms, tending two pots at once, her spatula flying so fast it almost sparked. They couldn't cook noodles fast enough to keep up with the orders.

Under his headpiece, Chen Wang gritted his teeth and whispered to Gu Yunlang beside him, "Hey, when that lady touched your abs earlier, did you have to tense up like that? What's with the act? We're in the legit service industry!"

Gu Yunlang snorted, his voice muffled by the headpiece, "Better than some lion who instinctively stepped back half a step when his chest got touched. What, is that the professional ethics of a Best Actor?"

"I call that keeping an air of mystery! What do you know!"

"All I know is that at this rate, my abs are gonna be rubbed raw. Touch the abs? Okay, let me see your receipt. Alright, go for it!"

Someone recorded a video and posted it online, and it quickly caused an uproar. Netizens were all in agreement.

"Disgraceful! Where's the morality? Where's the bottom line? Where's the justice? Where's the address?"

"If you're gonna sell, do it openly. Why wear pants?"

"They sound young—are they college students? Sigh, not only has Kong Yiji taken off his long gown, but he's also put on a bikini."

"Disgraceful! Disgraceful! Are you girls really that shallow? I thought only us gays would be into this."

"Is this a legit noodle shop? I wouldn't recommend recharging at a place that markets itself this way, 'cause I can't do it from here."

In one night, the noodle shop took in over twenty thousand yuan in membership fees. Wu Xiulan covered her mouth in shock, speechless. Before, they'd never made that much in a month!

Once things calmed down, Chen Wang and Gu Yunlang prepared to leave, saying they'd booked a hotel close by. Wu Xiulan had Gu Sai walk them out and gave them each two large boxes of beef.

"I made it all myself. It's safe."

"Thanks, Auntie."

"Thanks, Auntie."

Turns out, Chen Wang and Gu Yunlang had booked the same hotel. Gu Sai walked them to the door and said, "Thanks a lot for today. You two head on up and rest up. Tomorrow I'll show you around Ancheng."

Chen Wang shot a glance at Gu Yunlang and said, "You go up first. I've got something to say to Gu Sai."

Gu Yunlang refused to leave, crossing his arms and standing there: "Go ahead, say what you need to say. I'll wait."

Chen Wang: ???

Fine, wait then. I'll stuff you with dog food and you'll learn your lesson!

He looked at Gu Sai and smiled, "That bowl of noodles I had today was about 800 calories. That's going to take over an hour on the treadmill to burn off."

Gu Sai was baffled: "Ah, that's rough. I told you not to eat it, but you had to have it."

Chen Wang raised an eyebrow: "But you can help me burn some of it off."

Gu Sai looked confused: "How am I supposed to help you burn it? When I run, I burn my own calories."

Chen Wang smiled and lowered his head slightly: "They say one kiss can burn five calories." He then looked at Gu Sai expectantly.

Gu Sai: ...

Just then, Gu Yunlang—who had been silent in the darkness—suddenly stuck out his tongue and lunged at Chen Wang with an "Ah!"

Chen Wang jumped, startled: "Ah—what the hell! Gu Yunlang, are you crazy?!"

Gu Yunlang pulled back his clawing arms and said coldly: "Scaring you once burns three calories. I'll take you to a horror movie later—burning a thousand calories won't be a problem."

Gu Sai: ⊙▽⊙

Chen Wang: ...

"You #*@✘ing #@✘*... (＞_＜)"