Chapter 68 I Love You

Chapter 68 I Love You

Xie Guiluan didn’t quite grasp what Cen Wu was getting at, but Cen Wu always looked at him with that kind of gaze, as if he had been missing him for a long time—distant and gentle.

Cen Wu hugged Xie Guiluan, reaching out to touch his face, and Xie Guiluan lowered his head, allowing it. Xie Guiluan grabbed his hand, pressed it to his lips, kissed it a few times, then wiped away his tears, cupped his face, and squeezed out a small lump of soft flesh. In a low voice, he asked, "What’s wrong, baby?"

Cen Wu: "..."

Who are you calling baby?

Cen Wu’s ears flushed a deep red, and he no longer felt like crying, instead feeling a mix of embarrassment and anger. He gave Xie Guiluan’s abs a sharp pinch, stammering, "N...nothing, I want to go home."

The pinch made Xie Guiluan wince in pain, but he chuckled softly anyway. He hugged Cen Wu and kissed him, his tall nose pressing against the soft flesh of Cen Wu’s cheek.

Cen Wu didn’t expect him to suddenly act up and couldn’t dodge, being thoroughly kissed several times, his lips turning very red.

Cen Wu: "..."

That’s it, I’ve had enough!!!

Cen Wu was so furious he felt lightheaded. He pushed Xie Guiluan hard and walked forward. Xie Guiluan caught up and wrapped his arms around him again, clinging like he had no bones.

He glared at Xie Guiluan, saying, "What’s wrong with you?"

"Yeah," Xie Guiluan didn’t react to being scolded, shamelessly replying, "Are you going to fix me?"

Cen Wu felt like poisoning him on the spot.

But Xie Guiluan reached into his pocket, saying he wanted to see what medicine he had. Cen Wu struggled, his cheeks flushing red, but couldn’t break free as Xie Guiluan reached into his pocket, holding his hand and interlocking their fingers.

"Let...let go," Cen Wu tried to pry his wrist, but couldn’t, so he stomped on his foot.

Xie Guiluan remained indifferent. The snow tonight was intermittent, starting again, and Xie Guiluan’s shoulders were covered with a thin layer of snow. He hooked Cen Wu’s palm, saying in a flirtatious tone, "What’s the hurry? Treat me first."

Cen Wu gave up. He looked up at Xie Guiluan secretly. Xie Guiluan had high brow bones, a tall nose, a deep and straight profile, with especially deep eye sockets, but after all, he was only seventeen or eighteen, still carrying a youthful air.

Looking so cold, who would know he was now forcibly holding Cen Wu’s hand, insistently hooking his palm?

Cen Wu’s expression was blank. The original novel didn’t write much about the high school part; actually, he was more familiar with the twenty-eight-year-old Xie Guiluan—cold and reserved, full of a superior’s desire for control, only making others act like dogs.

Cen Wu never expected the eighteen-year-old Xie Guiluan to say he wanted to be his puppy and would cling to him coquettishly.

Out of character, bro.

Lu Wang and the others were still at the hot pot restaurant. Cen Wu and Xie Guiluan came out without their backpacks, so they headed back, but just a few steps out, a few people suddenly appeared beside them.

Cen Wu was startled. His fingers instinctively tightened on Xie Guiluan’s arm, and he took a step back towards him.

Xie Guiluan paused, his dark peach blossom eyes seeming to curve slightly. His palm rested on Cen Wu’s hand gripping his arm. Cen Wu didn’t notice, instinctively relying on him, as if the safest place in the world was by his side.

Xie Guiluan’s hidden dark desires were satisfied. He liked how Cen Wu, when frightened, would burrow into his arms, preferably trembling with tears.

But he didn’t want Cen Wu to be truly scared, hoping Cen Wu would always be angry and bristling with him, not shedding unnecessary tears.

Cen Wu trembled when scared, leaning on Xie Guiluan, not noticing the deepening darkness in Xie Guiluan’s eyes.

Xie Guiluan’s neck tensed with veins. He reached out to pull the zipper of his down jacket—luckily, it was long enough to cover.

He didn’t mind being looked at by Cen Wu, but others were out of the question; he didn’t have that kind of exhibitionist tendency.

Lu Wang held a confetti cannon and, with a bang, sprayed Cen Wu and Xie Guiluan, covering them in colorful streamers.

Next to the Christmas tree hung small colored lights, and goose feather snowflakes fell along with the streamers, reflecting off the snowy ground and the warm yellow lights. Cen Wu blinked in confusion amidst the shower of colorful streamers.

“Damn,” Zhang Yuanzhou was stunned, carrying Cen Wu and Xie Guiluan’s school bags as he ran over, “What are you doing?!”

Lu Wang had rehearsed beforehand because he had already agreed with Xie Guiluan that if Xie Guiluan and Cen Wu got married, he would be in charge of spraying streamers. The snowy night was perfect for a wedding.

Cen Wu had no idea he’d been “married off.” He lowered his head, pulling the streamers off his head, his eyelashes fluttering wildly, his whole appearance a mess.

His hair was covered in snow, and Xie Guiluan reached out to brush it off, then removed all the streamers.

After Cen Wu finished pulling off the streamers, he went to fight with Lu Wang.

Lu Wang didn’t mean any harm, but he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed and sometimes didn’t know his own strength. In his excitement, he rolled a snowball and hurled it hard at Cen Wu.

Cen Wu quickly dodged to Xie Guiluan’s side, and Xie Guiluan pulled him into his arms, raising his arm to block Lu Wang’s snowball.

Though they were only seventeen or eighteen, Xie Guiluan felt he loved the eighteen-year-old Cen Wu as much as he would love him at twenty-eight. On this snowy night, growing old together didn’t seem like a distant dream.

As he held Cen Wu, his heart swelled with emotion. When they grew old, he would still tell Cen Wu that he loved him. Nothing else in the world mattered as long as they were together.

Zhang Yuanzhou also fiercely sprayed Lu Wang with streamers. After the scuffle, a dozen young men sheepishly picked up all the streamers from the snowy ground before heading home.

Cen Wu hadn’t drunk much that night, but his eyelids were flushed, and he was a little drunk, staggering as he walked.

“Shall I carry you?” Xie Guiluan grabbed him.

Cen Wu’s eyes were red, teary-eyed. He felt like crying; he should keep his distance from Xie Guiluan, not get too close, but he really wanted Xie Guiluan to carry him.

Without waiting for a response, Xie Guiluan grabbed his wrist, pulled him over, hooked his legs, and hoisted him up steadily, carrying him through the heavy snow towards home.

Cen Wu clung tightly to his neck, feeling the coolness of Xie Guiluan’s neck, so he pulled down his own scarf a bit and wrapped it around Xie Guiluan too, then hugged him again.

Cen Wu cried on his back, and Xie Guiluan felt something warm and wet trickling down his neck. Cen Wu secretly tugged at the scarf to wipe it away.

Xie Guiluan’s heart softened immensely, wondering how someone could cry so quietly and discreetly.

Cen Wu, tipsy and restless, gently bumped his head against Xie Guiluan’s and nuzzled into him. Xie Guiluan couldn’t help but laugh and slightly turned his head to bump back at Cen Wu.

However, Cen Wu was very biased; he could bump Xie Guiluan, but Xie Guiluan couldn’t bump him. Suddenly unhappy, he lifted his head and bumped Xie Guiluan hard, making his own forehead red and his tears fall faster.

Xie Guiluan chuckled lowly, his chest vibrating, which Cen Wu could feel on his back.

Cen Wu’s snow-white ear tips turned red, and he calmed down for a few seconds before reaching out to pinch Xie Guiluan’s frost-red ears, then leaned over to stare at his profile.

Xie Guiluan figured Cen Wu must really like his face. He was quite open-minded; his appearance was part of him. If Cen Wu liked his face, it was only a matter of time before he liked him too.

Xie Mingcheng and Song Lingwei had done one good thing; their genes were decent. If Cen Wu was willing to marry him, he could let Xie Mingcheng and Song Lingwei sit at the main table.

Xie Guiluan’s eyelashes were long, and Cen Wu looked at the thin layer of snow on them, reaching out to touch them. Xie Guiluan turned to look at him, his crimson thin lips curling slightly. Cen Wu, with tears still on his face, was almost seduced into smiling.

They were quite far from the Cen family home, so they took a few bus stops. After getting off, Xie Guiluan carried him again, walking all the way to the Cen family villa before setting him down.

Cen Wu swayed unsteadily, and Xie Guiluan pinched his chin. Cen Wu thought Xie Guiluan was going to kiss him and opened his mouth to curse.

Xie Guiluan lowered his head, his deep peach blossom eyes looking at him seriously, but suddenly said, “I love you.”

"..."

Cen Wu was stunned.

Xie Guiluan often said he liked him, but this time he only said it once, and it carried much more weight than just saying "I like you." Probably no one could hear "I love you" and stay indifferent.

Cen Wu felt like he was about to cry again, but he couldn't. He held it back, his eyes darting around as he said, "You... you're so corny."

Without waiting for Xie Guiluan to respond, Cen Wu turned and ran home. He ran all the way to his bedroom, but this time he was smarter—he didn’t turn on the light. Instead, he crouched by the window and peeked out at Xie Guiluan.

Xie Guiluan, however, waved at him again, as if he knew Cen Wu would be watching. Only when Cen Wu, embarrassed and angry, yanked the curtains shut did Xie Guiluan chuckle and leave the Cen family's property.

Xie Guiluan was set to attend a national math league training camp the day after tomorrow. The camp was fully closed, with almost no access to phones, and after the training, he would go straight into the exam.

So before leaving, he had to make a trip to the hospital.

Cen Wu planned to wait until Xie Guiluan finished his exams, then hand the paternity test results to his parents. He would run away before Xie Guiluan returned. With less than half a month left, he was afraid something might go wrong. On Sunday, he accompanied Xie Guiluan to the hospital.

When they arrived at the hospital, Xie Mingcheng was also there. Song Lingwei's eyes were red, and Xie Mingcheng also looked hostile, as if there had been an argument.

"I... I'll wait for you outside," Cen Wu said to Xie Guiluan.

Xie Guiluan reached out to touch his head, but Cen Wu cleverly dodged. Xie Guiluan then pinched his cheek instead, only to have his hand slapped away by Cen Wu, leaving it bright red.

Cen Wu: "..."

You got your kicks, huh?

Xie Guiluan still had to go to the ward, so he held back from provoking Cen Wu and pushed open the door.

Xie Mingcheng's face was dark. The door had been half-open earlier, and he had heard Xie Guiluan and Cen Wu fooling around.

How could he have fathered two sons like this? Both turning out to be gay was bad enough, but to both be obsessed with the same person.

What an embarrassment.

Xie Guiluan refused to be used by him, so Xie Mingcheng's attitude toward Song Lingwei had also cooled. He never wanted the child in Song Lingwei's womb in the first place, and today he had come to force her to have an abortion.

Song Lingwei knew the child couldn't be saved, but there was a difference between her deciding to abort it or suddenly miscarrying, and Xie Mingcheng coldly ordering her to get rid of it.

Xie Mingcheng's face turned cold as he spoke to Song Lingwei in a roundabout, scathing manner, "Do you want to give birth to another ungrateful brat?"

Song Lingwei lowered her head. Her pale face looked haggard, her black hair disheveled and hanging over her shoulders.

"Xie Guiluan," Xie Mingcheng finally spoke plainly, turning his head with a cold, ruthless gaze. "Everything you have now is because of me. Don't push your luck. I don't care how you convince her, but by the day after tomorrow at the latest, get rid of this child."

Xie Mingcheng didn't want to push Xie Guiluan too far, so he left some face for Song Lingwei. Otherwise, he would have had someone come to perform the abortion today, whether she wanted it or not.

Xie Guiluan remained silent.

Cen Wu, eavesdropping at the door, was at a loss for words when Xie Mingcheng started talking. He thought to himself, "You should probably stop talking. The last father who spoke to Xie Guiluan like that has grass growing over his grave taller than you."

Song Lingwei wiped her tears. When she first met Xie Mingcheng in Huaijing, he wasn’t like this.

She and Xie Mingcheng were each other's first loves.

Back in that mountain village, Xie Mingcheng had good grades and good looks, and she was the prettiest girl in the area. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world for them to end up together.

Later, Xie Mingcheng left the village to attend university. Before he left, she gave him every penny she had saved.

Xie Mingcheng said he would come to pick her up.

She never fully trusted him to begin with. Xie Mingcheng was brimming with ambition, and she knew that once he left, he would never return. Indeed, Xie Mingcheng never came to pick her up.

It wasn’t until many years later, when she was working as an escort in Huaijing, that she ran into Xie Mingcheng again at a club.

At the time, Xie Mingcheng was pursuing Zhou Li, whose family was one of the top wealthy families in Huaijing. He groveled before Zhou Li and had to bow and scrape in front of her family. Many people scorned him.

He felt that only Song Lingwei truly understood him. They had grown up together, and she knew how painful it was to live in that underdeveloped and isolated place, how painful it was to have no money and no dignity.

So he often sneaked away from Zhou Li to see Song Lingwei.

When he finally climbed into the upper class and secured a place in Huaijing, he wished he had been born a Huaijing native. That mountainous region became a shameful part of his past, something that only brought him scorn and labels like "social climber" or "phoenix man." He wanted to sever all ties with that place. He had even left his parents behind in the mountains without care, let alone Song Lingwei.

Xie Mingcheng draped his suit jacket over his arm and pointed at Xie Guiluan, warning him, "Don’t disappoint me."

After saying that, he turned and left the hospital room.

Xie Guiluan still didn’t say anything. He went straight to packing his things. The rented apartment was too small, so he had left some of his belongings in the hospital room.

Song Lingwei caressed her belly. She wiped her tears and stopped crying. She turned her head and stared blankly at the snow outside, then suddenly said to Xie Guiluan, "Xiao Lan, Mom has been really wanting to go home these past few days."

For some reason, she felt extremely unsettled.

Her parents had died long ago, back when she was giving birth to her child. Her sisters had all married and left the mountainous region, leaving only her younger brother in their hometown. But her brother’s family looked down on her for working as an escort in Huaijing, thinking it was dirty and shameful, and they didn’t welcome her home.

She didn’t really need to go all the way back to that mountainous region to give birth, but the doctor had told her that if she insisted on having the baby, the mortality rate would be very high and advised her to think carefully. She was too scared, so she ran back to her hometown.

Only then did she feel somewhat at ease.

That night, there was a heavy rainstorm, and no one stayed with her in the hospital. The hospital halfway up the mountain swayed in the storm. When she opened her eyes, she saw Guan Xingxue lying unconscious beside her.

Guan Xingxue was so famous that of course she recognized her, but she never expected to run into her in this remote mountainous region.

What a coincidence.

Guan Xingxue only had an assistant with her, who was busy running around all night, even going to a spot with a faint signal to try to call for help.

Song Lingwei had never felt such intense jealousy before. Though she had never met Guan Xingxue before, in that moment, she was so envious that she could taste blood in her mouth.

Giving birth in this mountainous region was probably the hardest thing Guan Xingxue would ever go through in her life. Her child was born weak and frail, pitifully small. Guan Xingxue’s child was also born prematurely and was very thin, but what did it matter? In the future, many people would love and care for him, and he would have everything.

Not like her.

Song Lingwei’s eyes were red, and her heart was beating so fast that it almost drowned out the sound of the pouring rain. She struggled out of bed and took Guan Xingxue’s child. And so, the tempest of fate began.

...

"Xiao Xie," the caregiver came over and saw Xie Guiluan packing his bag. She knew he was going to attend the training camp and couldn’t help but worry. She handed him a few boxes of medicine and said, "It’s snowing, and the weather is so cold. You might catch a cold. Take these medicines with you."

Song Lingwei was momentarily dazed, as if she were back in that stormy hospital. But when she looked up, she realized Xie Guiluan had already grown up. Hearing the caregiver’s words, she quickly added, "Take the white box."

"They’re all cold medicines," the caregiver told her.

The box she had just handed Xie Guiluan was red and white. She thought this brand of cold medicine was quite effective.

"He doesn’t like it," Song Lingwei tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled. "They’re all capsules. What’s the taste? But he says they’re bitter. If you make him take them, he might secretly toss them away."

The caregiver looked at Xie Guiluan in surprise. Xie Guiluan showed no reaction, keeping his head down as he packed his bag. The caregiver also laughed and said, "I didn’t know there was such a difference."

"It's strange, isn't it," Song Lingwei handed the medicine to Xie Guiluan and said to the nurse caregiver, "This child is really difficult to care for."

Her tone didn't carry any complaint. She knew that Xie Guiluan was picky about everything, always refusing this and that, and she often thought it was no wonder he was the biological child of the Cen family—just like the eldest young master he is.

Song Lingwei felt a bit better today; her back wasn't hurting as much, and she could get out of bed and walk around. She asked the caregiver to help her out of bed and then found a thick coat for Xie Guiluan.

"Xiao Lan," she called to Xie Guiluan, "Take this with you. It's not easy to wash clothes there, and you don't have a spare sweater. This can also be worn inside your down jacket."

Xie Guiluan stayed silent but reached out to take it.

It was almost the end of the year, and the snow was coming down hard. Song Lingwei suddenly remembered when Xie Guiluan was five years old, around the same time before the New Year, and he was still in kindergarten.

Chen Weiguo saw no point in kindergarten—what could they possibly learn there? That money would be better spent on his drinking.

Song Lingwei endured a slap from him, her head ringing, and she lay on the ground for over an hour before she could get up. She wiped away the blood from her nose and her tears, then went to pick up Xie Guiluan from school.

By the time she got to the kindergarten, it was already past seven in the evening. All the other children had been picked up, and only Xie Guiluan remained in the security room, sitting on a small stool doing his homework.

The town had few lights, making it pitch black at night. On that cold snowy night, only the security room was lit with a warm yellow light.

Xie Guiluan heard her footsteps and looked up. His dark eyes fixed on Song Lingwei, noticing her swollen eyes from crying, and with a calm, adult-like tone, he asked, "What's wrong with you?"

"Huh?" Song Lingwei touched her reddened eyes and crouched down, lying to him, "Mommy is hungry; I haven't had dinner."

Another child might have believed she was crying from hunger, but Xie Guiluan looked away, not exposing her lie.

Song Lingwei went to hold his hand, but Xie Guiluan picked up his small backpack. The teacher, seeing that no one had come to pick him up, had given him a packet of biscuits. He handed the biscuits to Song Lingwei and also gave her the dozen or so yuan he had saved, saying, "Go eat."

Song Lingwei was stunned for a moment holding the money, the crumpled bills, clearly saved up over a long time, still warm from the child's body heat.

She knew her parents didn't love her because she was a girl. Her brother didn't love her either. Her sisters might have loved her, but they were all too busy, struggling to take care of themselves. The men she knew didn't love her either.

She knew there was nothing in her worth loving, and she didn't know why Xie Guiluan loved her.

Little Xie Guiluan had already picked up his backpack and walked to the door of the security room, but Song Lingwei was still crouched on the ground, clutching the money. He frowned and called out in confusion, "Mommy?"

...

Song Lingwei looked up, her eyes red, and suddenly a few tears fell. Xie Guiluan had already finished packing his things. She patted his back and said to him, "Go on."

Xie Guiluan hadn't spoken to her in a long time, but he paused for a few seconds, then nodded, turned, and left the ward.

He reached out and closed the door behind him.