Chapter 40

Chapter 40

"..."

Pressed against his furnace-warm chest, Jiang Nian blinked in the darkness and hedged carefully,

"Brother Jing, it's late... I'm kind of tired..."

Come on, everyone's been through about the same today, and after everything we've done until now, how is this guy not tired?

"Giving up already?"

Cheng Jing gave a low chuckle, nuzzling his cheek.

"I..."

Jiang Nian was momentarily speechless, but he couldn’t admit defeat—he could handle it! He was just a little tired, that’s all!

"It's okay to admit when you're worn out sometimes. I won't laugh at you."

Cheng Jing kept teasing him, but didn’t push further, merely wrapping an arm around him in a clingy hug.

Jiang Nian clenched his teeth and retorted,

"My being worn out isn't the problem—I'm more worried about *you!* After all, I'm not the one doing most of the work!"

So frustrating! His Brother Jing wasn’t like this before—he's changed so much!

"Heh..."

Cheng Jing chuckled again, his chest rumbling.

Just as Jiang Nian braced himself to be exhausted, he suddenly heard Cheng Jing say out of nowhere,

"If it were me, I’d probably do the same..."

"Huh?"

The abrupt shift caught Jiang Nian off guard, but seeing that Cheng Jing wasn’t about to pull anything, he relaxed. Even if he didn’t have to do the work, going along with things could be tiring too.

Cheng Jing didn’t answer, just tightened his arms and muttered,

"I might even go further than she did..."

"?'

"...Eh?"

Thinking back for a moment, Jiang Nian finally understood. He reached behind and lightly patted Cheng Jing’s head,

"Calm down, Brother Jing. I'd rather have a dog than a zombie. If I ever turn into something like that, I’d rather die quickly—don’t get in the way of my next life."

If death is inevitable, keeping a corpse around isn't pretty—it just gets dangerous. Better to make a clean break.

"Jiang Nian!"

Cheng Jing felt an unexpected pang, grinding his teeth.

Jiang Nian turned around to face him.

“Jing, no matter how many excuses or hardships Xiao Ya’s mom had, it doesn’t change the fact that she hurt others—and herself. Death’s too good for her! I’m telling you this—” He lowered his voice. “If she hadn’t been infected, I would’ve killed her myself!”

Whatever she did can’t be justified. His Jing being so soft about it was dangerous.

“…”

Cheng Jing seemed taken aback, staring at him through the darkness before finally asking after a pause:

“Then why’d you keep Xiao Ya?”

“To be honest, if Qian hadn’t been there back then, she might already be dead…”

In the dark, Jiang Nian spoke calmly, recounting what happened in the living room of 1805 with Huang Qian before adding:

“I wanted to choke her out and burn her to ash, making her whole family pay for the dead—that’d be the quickest fix. Or expose everything and let nature take its course. Even if the government gave her shelter as a minor, she wouldn’t last long anyway.”

He didn’t know whether Huang Qian had sensed his thoughts then, but he knew none of his teammates except him ever considered killing Xiao Ya.

“That’s not your call to make.”

Cheng Jing’s tone was flat.

Jiang Nian shot back:

“So, Jing, would you torch a kid just ‘cause I said so? Throw her out like a dog and watch her die? If she begged you, crying, could you really do nothing?”

His boyfriend and teammates were top-tier security ops—there was no way they’d go that far against a child.

“…”

Cheng Jing stayed silent. If Xiao Ya had threatened Jiang Nian, he wouldn’t have hesitated to turn her to ash. But she hadn’t. In fact, she’d shown kindness toward him.

So even if she was guilty—helping her mother kill and feed her dad—it wasn’t their place to judge. Otherwise, the list of people they’d have to kill would never end.

Of course, if Jiang Nian couldn’t move past this, he’d still do it. After a moment, he asked:

“So what now?”

Jiang Nian sighed:

“I figured it out. I don’t get to decide her fate. Not even in normal society would she get the death penalty.”

He laughed bitterly to himself:

“Xiao Ya’s just a damn kid… I’d regret it if I actually killed her. She’s twelve—clueless and helpless, barely able to make her own choices. She only wanted to save her dad. What else could she do when her mom begged her?”

Maybe going full scorched-earth would fit better with how he used to see human evil after dying and coming back.

But his team wasn’t like him. They saw things differently. Otherwise, Qian wouldn’t have just knocked Xiao Ya out—she’d have killed her.

On missions, his team’s actions were Cheng Jing’s call. His Jing never once thought about killing Xiao Ya from the start.

If he’d faced the apocalypse alone after rebirth, he might’ve gone full psycho. But he was healing now—no need to snap.

Cheng Jing clapped him on the shoulder:

“So we’ll keep her close. Let her live with the truth. Her power’s unique—if anything goes sideways, we’ll nip it in the bud.”

A mother’s selfishness caused this mess. Xiao Ya isn’t innocent, but she had no say.

This is an unanswerable moral dilemma.

“Yeah.”

Jiang Nian nodded, hugging him tighter with a satisfied squint. A moment later, he remembered the topic the other had brought up and spoke again with determination:

“But having said that, Brother Jing, everything I just said was serious. If I really got bitten and there’s no cure, then you should just put me out of my misery. I love you so much—I definitely wouldn’t want to drag you down…”

After thinking for a while, he amended:

“Ah… never mind. You wouldn’t be able to do it. I’ll just use my powers to hold on a bit longer, get my affairs in order, and end it myself before I lose control.”

The thought of watching himself slowly turn from a human into a “mindless monster,” turning on the person he loved most—he couldn’t bear that.

Cheng Jing’s breathing grew heavier as he nuzzled into Jiang Nian’s neck and playfully nipped him:

“Stop talking nonsense! We’re going to survive until the end of the apocalypse, then get married and raise dogs!”

He had only mentioned what happened with Xiao Ya’s mother, yet this guy went straight to planning his own death!

“Mmm… You’re being unreasonable. You were the one who started talking nonsense first…”

Jiang Nian grumbled in dissatisfaction but snuggled closer to appease him:

“Fine, fine~ Getting married and raising dogs sounds good. Let’s get a few.”

Tsk, this was the downside of dating a father-figure boyfriend—never knowing when he’d randomly get into some weird mood.

The worst part was, if he went around saying “tough Brother Jing turned into a needy, sulky mess in the dead of night,” no one would buy it.

…

Though the incident at Jiaheyuan had passed, a new fear weighed on everyone:

Many people had family, friends, lovers. With society on the brink of collapse, who knew who’d snap next?

And who could guarantee they wouldn’t end up like that woman in 1805?

After all, when faced with those you love most, keeping a clear head was nearly impossible.

A few days later, Jiang Nian and Cheng Jing went to Huang Qian’s hideout.

There, they saw Xiao Ya, who had already accepted that her parents had become zombies and died. The little girl was dressed neatly and looked sweet, but her eyes were empty and heartbreaking.

Huang Qian had previously messaged them, saying Xiao Ya often woke up screaming in the middle of the night, then dropped to her knees, sobbing apologies.

She had broken down several times, even trying to hurt herself.

So, on the advice of the medical staff in the command center, Huang Qian added some sedatives to Xiao Ya’s water, and only recently had she started to calm down.