Chapter 68

Chapter 68

Song Jianan emerged from the supervisor's office, clutching a thin A4 sheet.

The moment he returned to his desk, colleagues swarmed him with questions.

"How did it go?"

"Did you get it?"

Those closest to him had already glimpsed the contents of the A4 paper. "Wow, Jia, you're incredible! You actually got your internship certificate ahead of schedule!"

One colleague leaned in. "Let me see... The internship period is blank—you can fill it in whenever you want! Doesn't that mean you can leave anytime?"

Song Jianan offered a shy smile. "I didn't expect it to be so smooth."

His colleagues had all mentioned that internship certificates were typically issued by supervisors only when interns were departing. He had approached the request with extreme caution, yet to his surprise, the supervisor had not made things difficult for him.

After a moment of astonishment, his colleagues quickly returned to their respective tasks.

Song Jianan carefully put away the stamped internship certificate. As he worked, his gaze drifted to his empty fingers, lost in thought.

He always removed his ring during work hours, as experiments required handling various reagents.

Ever since that night Song Yuqiao had placed the ring on his finger, Song Yuqiao had reverted to his younger self—patient, accommodating, and gentle. Aside from a few matters of principle where Song Yuqiao remained unyielding, he never spoke harshly to Song Jianan again. The only difference was that they were no longer brothers; they were like any ordinary couple—holding hands, embracing, kissing, and being intimate.

Song Jianan felt conflicted, as if two small figures were warring within him. The white figure reveled in this beautiful reality, wishing to prolong it, even if it meant being lovers... or a couple, as long as Song Yuqiao would always treat him well. The black figure, however, had not forgotten Song Yuqiao's cruel words or the searing pain of his gland being forcibly bitten.

The white figure argued, "He defended me steadfastly in front of the Song family and in public. He rescued me when I was at my most helpless and desperate. Those harsh words must have been spoken against his will—otherwise, why would he like me and treat me so well?"

The black figure retorted, "He's lying. What is there about me to like? So many beautiful and intelligent Omegas throw themselves at him, and he doesn't even spare them a glance—how could he possibly be interested in a worthless Beta like me? He must have ulterior motives for treating me well. Don't trust him! Only by leaving him, by leaving Yunjing, can I avoid being hurt by him and escape the fate of my past life!"

The two figures argued endlessly, leaving Song Jianan increasingly bewildered.

Before obtaining the internship certificate, he had deliberately avoided this issue. But now, with the certificate in hand, he had to confront the decision: to leave or to stay.

He dried his hands and, while awaiting the next step, propped his head up with one hand, tugging at his hair, unable to untangle his thoughts.

As work ended, he glanced at the A4 paper in the drawer. He reached out, his fingertips almost touching the paper, but paused for a few seconds before abruptly retracting his hand. He closed the drawer and hurried out of the research institute, head bowed.

Preoccupied, Song Jianan was distracted after getting into the car. Song Yuqiao, who had been replying to emails, looked up and noticed his unusual demeanor. "What's wrong? Did work not go well?"

Song Jianan quickly shook his head, forcing himself to refocus and change the subject. "Brother, how much longer until we arrive?"

Seeing that he didn't appear distressed, Song Yuqiao didn't press further, glancing out the window. "About ten minutes."

Lately, Song Yuqiao had been keen on taking him to various restaurants. Today, they were visiting one they hadn't tried before.

Normally, Song Jianan was the most enthusiastic about meals—eager about the dishes and too engrossed in the food to speak to Song Yuqiao once it was served. But today was different. When ordering, he casually pointed at two dishes and, after finishing, lingered instead of sitting across from Song Yuqiao as usual. His gaze frequently drifted toward Song Yuqiao, lingering as if he had much to say, yet he quickly looked away whenever Song Yuqiao glanced back.

Song Yuqiao enjoyed his clinginess and pulled him onto his lap.

Song Jianan instinctively wrapped his arms around Song Yuqiao’s neck. The two chatted intimately for a while, but within a few sentences, they were kissing again.

They only separated when a knock sounded at the door. Song Jianan’s face flushed slightly, and he quickly moved back to the opposite seat, gulping down a large mouthful of water.

A line of waiters filed in gracefully, meticulously arranging a table laden with delicious dishes before quietly exiting and closing the door behind them.

Song Jianan frowned, pressing a hand against his chest while lifting his glass to take a few sips of water, barely suppressing the rising nausea.

He usually preferred meat, but today he only picked at the green vegetables. Song Yuqiao added a piece of his favorite meat to his plate, trying to correct his habit of always eating the same thing.

Normally, Song Jianan would scrunch his nose but still eat the vegetables Song Yuqiao gave him. But today, he simply didn’t want meat—the smell made him feel sick, nauseated. He picked up the meat to return it.

Song Yuqiao blocked with his chopsticks, and the meat fell back into his bowl. He then picked it up and held it to Song Jianan’s lips, coaxing him to eat.

The revolting smell filled his nostrils. Song Jianan covered his mouth, turned away, and vomited all over the floor.

Once the nausea surged, it couldn’t be stopped. Song Jianan leaned against the table, vomiting until he was dizzy and disoriented. Even when there was nothing left to vomit, his stomach still churned uncomfortably. His nose was red, and tears welled in his eyes.

Song Yuqiao patted his back while handing him water, about to call a doctor.

After sipping some water to calm down, Song Jianan grabbed his hand and asked him to move the meat dishes farther away. Only when the smell of meat faded did the churning in his stomach gradually settle.

He leaned back in his chair, took a few more sips of water, and soon felt completely normal again, as if the vomiting had been an illusion.

Beside him, Song Yuqiao frowned, his expression grim.

After the vomiting episode, Song Jianan forgot the troubles that had been weighing on him. He smiled at Song Yuqiao, shaking his hand gently. "Brother, I’m fine. Maybe I’ve been eating too much meat lately and got tired of it."

Song Yuqiao repeatedly confirmed that he had no other discomfort before deciding against calling a doctor. He asked for lighter, milder dishes to be served.

As he ate, Song Jianan secretly pondered: if Song Yuqiao truly liked him, what kind of couple behaved this way? Even what he ate was controlled—just like when Song Yuqiao was still his brother, always managing every aspect of his life.

Yet the sensation of the ring on his finger was so vivid. Even though it had been a while since that night, he still felt somewhat unreal, often spacing out.

He sighed inwardly, stuffing more rice into his mouth, deciding to fill his stomach first before thinking further.

After eating, he pushed the troubling questions to the back of his mind.

Soon, the weekend arrived.

Song Yuqiao left early in the morning to work overtime at the company, saying he had to fly abroad for a business trip the next day and would be busy these two days.

Song Jianan was quite pleased. When Song Yuqiao was busy, he wouldn’t have the energy to pester him. On weekdays, considering work the next day, Song Yuqiao was relatively restrained and wouldn’t go too far. But on weekends, he always indulged freely. Once, he dug out an unopened package—it turned out to be some blush-inducing tools, all of which ended up being used on Song Jianan. It wasn't exactly bullying, but…

In short, when weekends came, Song Jianan wished he could live at the research institute. With Song Yuqiao not at home, he didn’t need to find excuses to avoid him.

Around lunchtime, Song Yuqiao called, saying he had forgotten a document and asked Jia Jia to bring it to him.

Jia Jia searched the study but didn’t see it on the desk. He had to rummage through drawers and cabinets. He rarely touched the things in Song Yuqiao’s designated spots, and he hadn’t opened the drawers under the desk either. To his surprise, one drawer near the window was locked.

He gave up on that and searched other drawers and cabinets instead. Pulling open a lower cabinet door, he found a key. He instinctively glanced at the locked drawer, curious about what Song Yuqiao kept inside, since the key was so openly placed below.

Jia Jia found the document Song Yuqiao needed in the cabinet. He glanced at the locked drawer, tightened his grip on the file, looked away, and prepared to leave.

Song Yuqiao called again.

There was a barely noticeable urgency in his tone. "Jia Jia, did you find it? If not, don’t bother looking."

Jia Jia glanced at the drawer again. "I found it."

The breathing on the other end of the phone seemed to halt for a few seconds. Song Yuqiao said, "Good. I’ve sent the address to the driver. He’ll bring you here."

After hanging up, Jia Jia checked the time, forgetting about the locked drawer and the key in the cabinet, and hurried downstairs.

When he delivered the document, Song Yuqiao wasn’t as hurried as he had expected. He casually tossed the file onto the desk and asked Jia Jia to stay for lunch. Since Jia Jia was hungry, he didn’t refuse.

Thus, on a perfectly good weekend, he spent most of the day in Song Yuqiao’s office. They didn’t return home until Song Yuqiao finished work in the evening.

Song Yuqiao was going on a business trip tomorrow and would be away for about four or five days. That night, they stayed up late into the night before finally falling asleep.

Early the next morning, when Song Yuqiao got up, Song Jianan woke briefly but soon drifted back into a hazy sleep.

The sound of a car came from outside—Song Yuqiao must have left. Song Jianan woke again, feeling overwhelmingly drowsy but unable to fall back asleep, so he rubbed his eyes, yawned, and got up.

The hillside villa was much larger than the one at Xihe Garden, and there were more domestic staff. Early in the morning, the servants were already maintaining the villa's cleanliness.

After washing up, Song Jianan was fully alert. He usually didn’t get up this early, and since breakfast wasn’t ready yet, he chatted with the staff while casually helping out.

The house had floor-cleaning robots and window-cleaning robots, so the servants only needed to regularly wipe down cabinets and various decorations, changing bed linens and similar tasks. However, they did not enter the study unless instructed by Song Yuqiao.

Song Jianan thought about it and realized that indeed, every two weeks when he and Song Yuqiao were in the study, servants would come in to clean. But Song Yuqiao had never restricted him from entering the study. It had been over a week since the last cleaning, so he offered to tidy the study himself.

The study’s built-in floor-to-ceiling bookshelves had glass dust-proof doors, so there didn't require much maintenance. He finished before breakfast.

As he wiped Song Yuqiao’s desk, his gaze fell on the locked drawer. Almost involuntarily, he pulled on it again—still stuck.

Remembering yesterday’s phone call, his heart felt like it was being scratched by claws, an inexplicable strong urge prompting him to take the key from the cabinet.

He just wanted to see what Song Yuqiao had hidden inside that he was so worried about being discovered.

His heart drummed wildly in his chest. He gripped the key and inserted it into the keyhole.

His dark eyes fixed intently as he gently turned the key.

A soft click—it unlocked.

Holding his breath, he pulled open the drawer.

A small box lay quietly inside.

A flicker of confusion passed through Song Jianan’s eyes. He picked up the box and examined it—it featured an electronic screen requiring a password to open. No wonder Song Yuqiao hadn’t even bothered to hide the key.

Frowning, he rubbed the box with his fingers and told himself he would try only once. If it didn’t open, he would put it back and never be curious again.

Feeling extremely guilty for prying into Song Yuqiao’s secret, he didn’t dare guess passwords Song Yuqiao might use. Instead, he haphazardly entered one of his own commonly used passwords.

The indicator light on the electronic screen flashed twice, and with a click, the lock opened.

Song Jianan’s eyes widened in disbelief. With utmost care, he opened the small box.

Inside was only a notebook with slightly yellowed covers.

Song Jianan picked it up. It was just an ordinary notebook, deepening his confusion.

He casually flipped open a page. The page bore only a few lines of messy, familiar handwriting.

His expression froze instantly. His eyes widened suddenly, his pupils trembled as he quickly turned page after page.

Each page had only a few lines of writing. With just a glance, Song Jianan could make out what was written—and precisely because he saw, he couldn’t believe it.

His fingers trembling, he dropped the notebook. His face went blank, his chest churned violently.

Leaning on the chair, he knelt on the floor, dry-heaved. His eyes were bloodshot, tears glistened as he stared at the open drawer.

No wonder Song Yuqiao was worried he might see—this was never meant for his eyes.

He forced a smile uglier than a grimace.

Who would have thought that someone as noble and aloof as Song Yuqiao would hide someone he longed for but couldn't have in his heart? Even back when he and Song Yuqiao were intimately close, before their relationship froze over, he had never noticed Song Yuqiao showing interest in any Omega.

In the sparse, irregular diary entries, Song Yuqiao seemed like an ordinary person with a crush—talking about liking, loving, with suppressed pain between the lines. Who in this world could Song Yuqiao not obtain?

Song Jianan couldn’t think of anyone.

The diary still existed, kept where Song Yuqiao could reach it anytime, meaning his feelings for that person were still there.

He looked down at the ring on his finger. Under the sunlight, it refracted a silvery gleam—beautiful, yet cold.

Then what was he?

Song Jianan wondered.

What did it mean when Song Yuqiao gave him this ring, when they wore matching couple rings?

Biting his lower lip hard, he fought desperately to hold back tears, pulled off the ring, threw it into the password box, relocked the box and the drawer, and walked out of the study.

He took a taxi to Xie Mao’s place.

Xie Mao hadn’t left yet. Opening the door and seeing Song Jianan’s red, swollen eyes, he was startled. He quickly pulled him inside, and upon learning he hadn’t even eaten breakfast, shared half of the steamed buns and mantou he had heated with him.

"Eat something first, then talk slowly."

As soon as Song Jianan spoke, his voice choked up. Tears he had held back for so long finally fell. He spoke haltingly for an hour.

He said, "I want to leave. I never want to return to Yunjing again."

Xie Mao handed him a new pack of tissues. "Okay, I’ll help you."

"Where do you want to go?"

Song Jianan clutched the half-soaked tissue, frowning in deep thought. "I haven’t decided, but somewhere far from Yunjing, where Song Yuqiao can’t find me."

Xie Mao thought for a moment and said, "How about Yuanchuan? It’s far from Yunjing, and transportation between the two isn’t very convenient—even flights require layovers. Coincidentally, Wen Xue has nearly wrapped up her studio affairs and will return to Yuanchuan in a couple of days. You can look out for each other there."

Song Jianan paused, then nodded in agreement.

Anywhere was the same to him. Having someone familiar there would make him feel less afraid.

However, to avoid Song Yuqiao tracking him, he couldn’t travel with Senior Wen Xue.

Two days later, following the plan Xie Mao had devised, Song Jianan first shook off the accompanying drivers and bodyguards, changed into completely different clothes, took a bus that didn’t require ID to a neighboring city, then switched to a long-distance train. He got off the train early, took a prearranged private car to the provincial border where Xie Mao’s relative lived. The relative happened to be returning to their hometown and could give him a ride.

Once in the car with Xie Mao’s relative, Song Jianan’s tense heart finally relaxed a little.

He addressed Third Master’s wife as "Auntie," following Xie Mao’s lead. Both were Betas. Third Master was somewhat reticent, but like his wife, very warm-hearted. Auntie sat in the passenger seat helping navigate while occasionally chatting with Song Jianan to make sure the young man didn’t feel awkward.

Song Jianan wasn’t good at socializing, but faced with Auntie’s kindness, he didn’t feel uncomfortable. Instead, he briefly forgot about everything in Yunjing and patiently answered her questions.

People generally like well-behaved children, and Auntie was no exception. After chatting about topics related to Xie Mao, she couldn’t help but ask, "Xiao Jia, your accent sounds like you’re from Yunjing. Did you study there since childhood?"

Song Jianan was taken aback but nodded vaguely. "Yes, my family works in Yunjing."

Xie Mao hadn’t told Third Master and his wife too much—just asked once, and they agreed. Even if Song Jianan wanted to be honest, he found it hard to talk about his own situation.

Fortunately, Auntie wasn’t one to pry deeply. She sighed about how expensive Yunjing was and how difficult it was to work there. Third Master chimed in with a few words too, and they quickly moved on, asking for his specific hometown address so they could drop him off directly.

Song Jianan wasn’t familiar with Yuanchuan and didn’t want to trouble them too much, so he said anywhere convenient along the way would be fine, as long as it was relatively close to the city center.

The journey was long, the car almost constantly on the highway.

Song Jianan leaned against the window, staring blankly at the scenery flashing by outside. Most of it was layers of mountains not seen in Yunjing, leaving him dazed.

Closing his eyes, the memories felt even more vivid. The messy handwriting on yellowed pages reappeared before his eyes, and it felt as if a hand were violently twisting his heart, causing waves of pain. He could only force himself to open his eyes again.

Third Master and his wife were in no rush. They parked the car at a rest area for the night, sleeping in the vehicle so they wouldn’t be uncomfortable the next day upon arriving home.

Everything at the rest area was expensive. Third Aunt had prepared instant noodles, bread, and biscuits in advance. She handed a large supermarket plastic bag to Song Jianan and told him to take what he wanted.

Song Jianan had little appetite and was feeling carsick. He was about to refuse, but Third Aunt saw through him and pushed a portion of each—instant noodles, bread, and biscuits—into his hands. "Even if you’re carsick, you still need to eat something. A big guy like you can’t go a whole day without food."

Reluctantly, Song Jianan took only a cup of instant noodles and followed Third Aunt and Third Master to get hot water for the noodles.

The strong smell of the noodles hit him, and he frowned, quickly covering the cup and holding it farther away from himself.

A few seconds later, he couldn’t take it any longer. He asked Third Master to hold the cup for him and rushed to the bathroom to vomit.

When he came out, the rest area lights shone on his face, deathly pale, the fatigue unmistakable.

Third Aunt looked worried. Song Jianan forced a smile and said, "Third Aunt, I’m fine. It’s probably just bad motion sickness."

Third Master handed the cup noodles back to him and headed to the store. "I’ll go ask if they sell motion sickness medicine."

As soon as Song Jianan caught the smell of the noodles again, he felt like vomiting. He quickly asked Third Aunt to hold it for him. Perhaps because he had just thrown up, moving farther away made the nausea went away.

Frowning at the cup noodles, he said, "Third Aunt, it seems I can’t stand the smell of instant noodles. It makes me want to vomit."

Third Master didn’t find any motion sickness medication, so he ended up eating the noodles himself.

Song Jianan only had two small rolls.

What they didn’t expect was that Song Jianan’s vomiting had only just begun.

That night, Song Jianan tossed and turned uncomfortably in the narrow car seat, unable to fall asleep. He carefully opened the car door and got out, walking around near the vehicle.

He passed a few truck drivers having a late-night snack. The smell of greasy food drifted over from afar, and his stomach seemed to receive a signal, immediately reacting. Song Jianan rushed to the nearest trash can and vomited violently again.

He had eaten very little that day and had vomited twice. After vomiting, he felt completely drained. His limbs were weak, and his head felt dizzy. Shaking his head, he still returned to the car.

He drifted through the night, alternating between wakefulness and fitful sleep.

Before dawn, all three of them were awake.

Just as they were about to have breakfast, Song Jianan vomited again out of nowhere. He stayed in the bathroom for nearly half an hour. Third Master went in to check on him but couldn’t do much to help.

Third Aunt, more perceptive and thoughtful, felt that Song Jianan’s vomiting was too abnormal to be just motion sickness. But she didn’t want to speculate recklessly.

Fortunately, after Song Jianan came out, he stopped vomiting as much. Third Master finally started driving again.

Song Jianan only had a small roll and some water, looking listless as he leaned back in the rear seat.

Third Aunt subtly found out that he had come to Yuanchuan alone and hadn’t found work yet. Her mind filled with guesses, and seeing his condition in the rearview mirror, she couldn’t help but feel for him. An idea occurred to her, and she invited Song Jianan to stay at their home.

Le'an County was not far from the city center, with convenient transportation, and was the largest county in Yuanchuan. She suggested he spend a couple of days there to familiarize himself with the environment before slowly looking for a job, as it would be easy to search either in the county or the city.

Song Jianan, being new and unfamiliar with the place, was persuaded and felt tempted. After hesitating for a long time, he couldn’t resist Third Aunt’s enthusiasm and agreed.

At 3 p.m., the car arrived at Third Aunt’s home in Le'an County.

Stepping onto unfamiliar ground, surrounded by an unfamiliar environment, Song Jianan looked at Third Aunt’s enthusiastic expression and Third Master’s smiling face. His disoriented, nervous heart suddenly calmed. His eyes crinkled into a slight smile and he stepped forward to help unload their things.

Carrying two heavy bags in his hands, he realized—he had truly left Yunjing.

In the laughter of Third Aunt’s family, Song Yuqiao’s face seemed to blur a little.