Chapter 36

Chapter 36

If two slices of bread with cheese can be used to describe a person, why can't a burger with a heart and liver count as a kitten?

Players are extremely adept at exploiting bugs; nothing in the world can truly defeat a player.

Bai Fuling once called a wolf a dog, and now he can also call a burger a kitten.

—After all, the essence of these things is pretty much the same; they're all just pixel stuff composed of code. The NPC wouldn't care about such minor details, right?

Bai Fuling used the burger buns to sandwich the heart, creating a brand-new, one-of-a-kind fast-food product.

To be honest, the reddish-brown pixelated heart illustration inside was somewhat appealing, like a giant blueberry burger with jam dripping down.

If not for the worry about the alienation value, Bai Fuling would have really wanted to take a bite himself, to see if it would increase his HP or reduce his health bar. That way, he could determine whether he could randomly eat things from the roadside in the future.

After a brief moment of thought, Bai Fuling refocused on the NPC interaction. He raised the burger with the organ inside and said, "Alright, now the kitten has eaten it."

To avoid any complications, he proactively concluded with a classic human-machine response: "What a perfect birthday celebration! Liao Zhiqiu is very happy."

"..." The pixel character with dark circles in front was still stuck on the previous dialogue box, only a string of ellipses appearing above its head.

Bai Fuling: How come there's no feedback at all? At least the system should pop up a prompt.

Logically, the task of celebrating the kitten's birthday should be completed. Although the process was convoluted, the result was correct—the player had followed the requirement (using the burger) to consume the birthday gift offered by the NPC.

Yet, the pixel character with dark circles in front gave no yes-or-no answer; it just stood there. The dialogue box and the unclosable character encyclopedia remained overlapped.

The game system seemed to genuinely have some issues. The dialogue box was flickering intermittently, with black text overlapping. For a moment, it seemed those crooked words were wriggling again.

The flickering and overlapping were disorienting. He frowned and tried clicking the close button on the character encyclopedia on the screen again, but it still wouldn't close.

This game is so laggy!! Bugs are flying everywhere.

Bai Fuling felt slightly annoyed.

Generally, the more a page lags, the more impatient players become. The less response there is, the more frantically players will spam clicks, randomly swiping their fingers everywhere.

After a single click failed to close the page, Bai Fuling began rapidly tapping the screen with the speed of grabbing food, then swiping left, right, up, and down, trying to find a refresh swipe. He even rotated his phone 360 degrees to see if the screen would follow.

After such frantic tapping and swiping, there are usually two possibilities:

First, after the player's random poking, the game finally comes back to life, but none of the previous inputs were registered—they were all invalid.

Second, all the inputs the player made during the lag are processed at once after the freeze ends, triggering an uncontrollable chain reaction.

Bai Fuling encountered the second scenario—the previously frozen page finally flickered and then moved continuously.

On the screen, the pixel character in a white coat with black hair spun in place three times in a row, then suddenly raised the organ burger high and placed it on its head—likely because the frantic screen-touching had clicked the burger into the accessories slot.

Since the headgear already had the non-removable angel halo, the burger very naturally stacked on top of it.

Seeing this, Bai Fuling momentarily envisioned that cat meme with a plate on its head: "Angel, please enjoy the burger!.jpg"

That wasn't all. The black-haired pixel character then took out three small yellow flowers from its backpack in succession, tossing them forward one by one, all thrown at Liao Zhiqiu in front.

Bai Fuling: Uh-oh, are we entering combat mode? Throwing little flowers isn't like throwing stones; it shouldn't reduce HP or anger the NPC, right!

Just as he thought this, the character on the screen dashed violently to the left, crashing straight into a tree, then dashed back, picking up a stone from the ground.

However, the character didn't throw the stone at the NPC. Instead, it put it in the backpack, took it out, put it back in, took it out again, and finally popped it into its mouth.

Bai Fuling: ?

Wait, can stones be eaten too—how many random clicks did I make just now??!

Watching the character on the screen lose some HP from crashing into the tree, then lose another third of its HP after eating the stone, Bai Fuling felt a faint sense of despair.

He really wanted to tap the screen to stop the character's actions, but he was worried that random taps now would later cause delayed feedback in who-knows-where.

...Complaint! He must file a complaint with customer service!

Players do enjoy messing around, but only when they're in control. These wild moves triggered by buggy random clicks are completely not the player's subjective intention.

Stop making the player pick up stones from the ground to eat and lose HP!! If this causes the health bar to empty and forces a restart from scratch, Bai Fuling will declare war on the devs for three days and three nights.

But, looking on the bright side, the player also verified one thing... that is, you can't have an unchecked urge to eat weird things. Eating random stuff will still deduct HP.

Plates and plastic wrappings are considered part of the food; they only count as food adding HP, not deducting it. But roadside stones, completely unrelated to food, will reduce the health bar when eaten.

By the lake. Liao Zhiqiu watched as the black-haired youth in front, after a brief silence, suddenly began performing strange actions.

Including but not limited to: placing the burger on his head, running around wildly, headbutting trees, and eating small stones.

Liao Zhiqiu: "..."

He frowned, lost in thought.

Ah. He doesn't seem human now.

These are completely not human behaviors.

So, perhaps his essence still isn't human; he's a kitten, right? Earlier, he wasn't unwilling to eat the food I prepared; it was just because he's sick, so he didn't eat.

His frown relaxed slightly as he stepped forward, grabbing hold of Bai Fuling, who was still bouncing off the walls.

"Did you eat something random in the mental hospital?" Liao Zhiqiu asked.

It must be because the kitten accidentally ate something in the mental hospital, causing this sudden illness! I almost misunderstood earlier, mistakenly thinking he was a person.

Huh? Got grabbed?

Bai Fuling watched as the character on the screen was grabbed by Liao Zhiqiu, finally stopping its chaotic running around.

Sometimes, NPC plot interventions can forcibly interrupt the player's free actions.

Thank heavens, it finally stopped. Bai Fuling was almost moved to tears. Who understands the player's sense of helplessness just now—now, fate is finally back in the player's hands!

He happily replied to Liao Zhiqiu's words: "No, no. The mental hospital is great; everyone there is talented, speaks nicely, I really like it."

Liao Zhiqiu: "..."

Liao Zhiqiu paused, his attitude seemingly returning to the previous state of infinite patience: "I see. Well, if you don't want to eat this now, you can keep it for later. Eat it when you're better, okay?"

"Who's sick? I'm not sick." Bai Fuling denied warily. "I'm very healthy."

He didn't want to trigger any [Mental Hospital] side quests; such involuntary side quests can easily cause progress blocks and delays.

Hearing this, Liao Zhiqiu felt a faint melancholy: What should I do if the kitten is sick and always thinks it's a person?

"You shouldn't avoid the doctor just because you're sick." Liao Zhiqiu nodded, speaking slowly, "Don't worry, I will cure you—do you know you are a kitten?"

Bai Fuling: ?

After all that running around earlier, this guy was treating me like a cat again!

Bai Fuling decisively typed:

"Sorry for being human."

Mic drop!

Liao Zhiqiu: "..."

It seems the kitten really has some identity confusion about itself.

A wave of melancholy washed over Liao Zhiqiu.

"Alright, I understand." Liao Zhiqiu nodded, "But don't worry, your condition is just a bit serious. I will cure you—until you recognize that you are a kitten."

Bai Fuling: ?

He couldn't help but open the character profile, scanning the icons and values once more.

○ Pink Heart (80%): [Liao Zhiqiu] likes kittens. You are without a doubt an adorable kitten!

○ Plum Blossom Paw Print (90%): [Liao Zhiqiu] believes you are ill, suffering from a self-identity disorder, and he is determined to cure you. {Locked}

○ Purple Triangle (49%): * (Hidden)

Wait, how did this fixed impression shoot up like a rocket again, even higher than before! Bai Fuling glanced at the values as high as 80 and 90, and was left utterly speechless.

And why is there an additional {Locked} on the plum blossom paw print... It looks like this is locked in now, and it won't easily drop.

It's true what they say: when a sane person and a crazy person are together, both will think the other is insane.

Bai Fuling looked up at a 45-degree angle, deep in thought. Who exactly has the problem here?!

He couldn't shake the feeling that this NPC was a bit unhinged now. Although players can out-crazy a crazy NPC, Bai Fuling was a bit tired of it at the moment. He was done with the crazy-person act and now wanted to return to solving the case.

Don't forget, the Crescent Scythe Murder Case was still ongoing. Bai Fuling thought. The clue about [Guan Jiayue's Key], which had been unexpectedly delayed earlier, also hadn't been explored yet.

So, he might as well go check it out now. There wasn't much left to grind here anyway.

Having made up his mind, Bai Fuling opened the map and locked onto the marked Warm Home, which was quite a distance away.

Without a teleportation array, manually controlling the character to walk there would take too much time. Better to just hand it over to the auto-pilot system—he could use this time to grab a meal.

So, Bai Fuling selected the coordinates for Warm Home on the map, quickly typed in the command to activate auto-pilot mode, and then quit the game.

The game would default to the shortest route between two points.

Liao Zhiqiu watched as the black-haired youth walked straight ahead, then jumped into the lake, quickly swam to the opposite shore, and immediately scrambled up the mountain on all fours!

Even sick and confused, his true nature shines through. Liao Zhiqiu watched from afar, growing even more convinced. That truly is a kitten; he must cure the kitten.

Author's Note:

Bai Fuling & Liao Zhiqiu: How to treat the other's cognitive problem?