Chapter 78 Wishing You Happiness

Chapter 78: Wishing You Happiness

Actually, Lin Haoda was lying.

If asked what he really regretted, it wasn't falling in love with Guan Junshan, nor was it knowing he shouldn't have gotten tangled up with him for so long.

What he really regretted was owing Guan Junshan so many favors.

One by one, piece by piece, ever since he went to Hong Kong and they first met, he had somehow piled up debts too heavy to repay.

It wasn't just playing along with his love game, nor just being dumped; he might have to do more to even the score.

The chandelier overhead was so bright it blurred into a circular patch in the center of his vision. Lin Haoda blinked, and a tear trickled into his hairline.

The water in the bathroom stopped running. A shadowy figure was visible behind the frosted glass.

Guan Junshan walked out in his bathrobe, water droplets dripping from his hair, leaving dark spots on the carpet. When the hairdryer started humming, for a few seconds Lin Haoda had the illusion that time had reversed to those days they spent on vacation in Switzerland.

Guan Junshan walked over calmly, approached Lin Haoda on the sofa, and looked down at him: "What are you thinking?"

Lin Haoda looked away, his fingertips twitching, digging into the leather armrest.

The atmosphere was silent and tense, broken only by the soft ticking of the clock in the room. Guan Junshan stood a few steps away, his dark eyes fixed on Lin Haoda, standing still like a statue for a long time. Suddenly, he undid his belt.

"Bedroom or here?"

Lin Haoda pressed his lips together, confusion clouding his eyes. After a long struggle, he raised his hand to touch his bow tie.

His fingers trembled slightly; he tried several times but couldn't unfasten the hidden clasp.

He had never done this before. He felt Guan Junshan's cold gaze like two knives—one cutting his throat, the other slicing his heart.

Clothes soon scattered on the floor.

Lin Haoda reached for the switch on the wall, but before he could touch it, Guan Junshan grabbed his fingers. "Keep the lights on."

His profile was bathed in warm, bright light, giving off a mature, indifferent vibe.

Lin Haoda met his gaze for two seconds, feeling cold all over. Even though Guan Junshan's hand was as warm as ever, it could no longer warm him up.

Guan Junshan walked over and sat down on the sofa. The bathrobe belt hung loose, and as he moved, a clear bulge was visible there.

Lin Haoda looked down, silent, half-drunk and half-ashamed. His rationality had completely evaporated, and his shoulders trembled slightly.

Guan Junshan pressed a hand on his back, seeming to notice. "Are you cold?"

Lin Haoda shook his head and whispered, "Can we make it quick?"

Guan Junshan released him, stood up, and walked into the bedroom. After a moment, he came out holding a box.

As he passed the entrance, he turned on the air conditioner. Warm air blew onto Lin Haoda's face, and the room quickly warmed up.

Guan Junshan sat back down leisurely beside him, tossing the box onto the carpet.

They were very close. Lin Haoda was nearly naked, arms wrapped around himself, his rounded shoulders glowing a healthy, vivid pink under the light.

Guan Junshan's Adam's apple moved slightly. His expression was cold, but couldn't hide the fire burning in his eyes. "If you want to finish early, you need to learn to be more proactive."

Hearing this, Lin Haoda looked up sharply. Guan Junshan turned his face away nonchalantly, hooked his fingers under the edge of the bathrobe, and tossed it over. "Put this on."

The inside of the bathrobe was still warm and soft from his body heat. Lin Haoda grabbed it and wrapped it around himself. After a long hesitation, he slid off the sofa.

Through the layer of fabric, Guan Junshan felt himself being touched. Lin Haoda's fingers came up, carefully hooking the edge of his underwear.

When it popped out, it was intense. Guan Junshan looked down, shifting uncomfortably.

The bathrobe hung loosely on Lin Haoda's shoulders. He licked his lips and slowly lowered his head into the shadows.

The room was very bright, so bright that even desire seemed purer than usual.

Guan Junshan hesitated for two seconds but still reached out and cupped Lin Haoda's chin, stopping him from moving closer.

Lin Haoda's lips were already very moist. Guan Junshan pinched his cheeks with two fingers, making them red and full, trembling slightly.

Guan Junshan closed his eyes, resisting the urge to kiss him, and called out in a low voice, "Lin Haoda, you don't have to do this."

Lin Haoda looked confused, blinking, as if wondering if that wasn't the "proactivity" he meant.

After a long silence, Guan Junshan finally released him, slid his hand down to his waist, and patted it. "Get on top."

Lin Haoda was never into sex and knew few tricks. He stared at Guan Junshan for a moment, then slowly climbed up from the carpet, lifting one leg and straddling his waist.

As soon as they came close, warm breath intertwined, firmly binding rationality. Wanting to push him away, Lin Haoda tightened his fingers, but before he could move, Guan Junshan pinned both wrists firmly behind his back.

Almost instinctively, he lowered his head and tasted a hint of champagne on Lin Haoda's lips—like a melting liqueur chocolate, sweet and enticing.

Lin Haoda's body quickly grew hot, every pore steaming with heat. When Guan Junshan leaned in to kiss him, he couldn't help but part his lips and let out a sob.

Guan Junshan carried him to the bedroom. Lin Haoda fell onto the white sheets, his eyes seeming to hold a pool of shattered spring water. Guan Junshan couldn't tell if he was overwhelmed with pleasure or pain.

Moonlight fell through the window, scattering over them. Desire rose endlessly, like a blazing fire, burning each other completely.

For a long time afterward, Lin Haoda found it hard to define that night. For many reasons. When he woke up the next morning, he found Guan Junshan had left very early. The room showed no sign that he had spent the whole night there, except for the messy traces on the sheets.

He walked out of the bedroom. The clothes from last night were still piled on the living room carpet. Lin Haoda slowly crouched down, smoothed out the wrinkles one by one, then put them back on himself.

There wasn't much food in his stomach, making strange gurgling sounds. When Lin Haoda stepped into the elevator, his legs gave out, and he instinctively reached out to brace himself against the wall.

He couldn't quite remember what the security guard downstairs looked like; after all, he hadn't had time to look closely the night before. Lin Haoda walked out of the elevator, holding the room card in his hand, hesitating for a few seconds, not knowing who to return it to.

Fortunately, a young man in uniform came forward to ask. Lin Haoda tried to appear calm, gave him the room number, and said it needed cleaning.

"Mr. Lin."

"Mr. Lin." As he walked out the door, someone called out to Lin Haoda. He turned and saw Yang Yue's face.

It was Yang Yue who drove him to the airport. Lin Haoda, exhausted, didn't have the energy to refuse. He climbed into the back seat and soon fell into a deep sleep.

The flight was scheduled to depart in the afternoon. Lin Haoda arrived too early and had to wait in the terminal.

Yang Yue insisted on staying. Lin Haoda wanted to grab takeout from a fast-food place, but Yang Yue said it would be inconvenient for him to queue with his backpack, so he offered to watch the luggage.

Perhaps because Yang Yue seemed so open, Lin Haoda eventually agreed.

After buying burgers, they sat side by side in a relatively empty corner. The TV above was broadcasting news highlights. Lin Haoda stared at it for a while, with Yang Yue occasionally adding explanations.

Lin Haoda finished his burger, and the news ended.

He felt his strength and spirits had recovered a bit, and his complexion probably wasn't as bad as before. There were still some untouched chicken nuggets in the paper bag. Lin Haoda hadn't opened them, so he pushed them toward Yang Yue and asked, "Want one?" He felt a bit abrupt after saying it, but it was too late to pull his hand back. Lin Haoda expected Yang Yue to decline, but instead, he took it without hesitation, opened the package, and grabbed a piece.

Lin Haoda asked him how it was, if it tasted good. Yang Yue shook his head and told him it was average, a little dry.

The two of them had rarely sat together and shared food like this before. As an assistant, Yang Yue usually had another person—their boss—sitting between them. Actually, Lin Haoda thought Yang Yue was a good person, with a stable personality and excellent work skills. If not for this awkward situation, they might have become good friends.

After sitting a while longer, Lin Haoda received a check-in notification on his phone. He had no luggage to check, so he just went to the counter to print his boarding pass and then headed towards the security checkpoint.

This was as far as Yang Yue could go with him. The two stood before the passageway to say goodbye. Lin Haoda spoke first. He asked Yang Yue to take the suit he had borrowed last night to the dry cleaner's and then return it to Miss Jiang.

Yang Yue said "Okay," and asked, "Where is the suit?"

Lin Haoda told him it was in the car, left in the back seat when he got out just now.

For some reason, he seemed to pause at this point. He smiled at Yang Yue and said, "I've been trying to reach Mr. Guan all morning but couldn't get through."

After hearing this, Yang Yue was uncharacteristically hesitant to speak.

Lin Haoda then felt a bit regretful, realizing he was pushing him for an answer that didn't exist.

Passengers with suitcases kept passing by them. Lin Haoda turned his face and glanced around. People came and went in the airport, and planes took off one after another. Life is like a vast ocean; everyone meets, hugs, and then says goodbye briefly here. Including them.

Perhaps for all the people and things that cause so much trouble and reluctance, after tomorrow, the answers no longer matter.

"Goodbye, I'm leaving." He waved at Yang Yue. "Thank you for seeing me off."

Before he could turn around, Yang Yue called him and said slowly, "Mr. Lin, I wish you happiness."

Lin Haoda did not look back and went through security with the crowd.

Before stepping through the security gate, he seemed to remember something. He stepped out of line for a moment, placed his backpack on the ground, and rummaged through it for half a minute.

Through the not-too-dense crowd, Yang Yue saw him take out a light-colored box, then stand up and walk straight to the nearest trash can.

Lin Haoda hesitated. He held the not-too-large box, his gaze lowered, and his thumb seemed to carefully trace the pattern on the top for a moment. Then his other hand reached to the spot below his neck and pulled out a thin object from his collar.

Before Yang Yue could identify it, Lin Haoda had already opened the box lid and quickly placed the thing inside.

The moment he threw the box away should have been resolute, but Yang Yue couldn't easily tell, because he also saw sadness and reluctance on Lin Haoda's profile.

The box fell into the trash can, and Lin Haoda's right hand hung in the air, still frozen in the shape of holding it.

The flight announcements overhead played repeatedly. Amid the noisy background, Lin Haoda finally picked up his backpack from the ground and calmly got back in line.

On the day Lin Haoda left Hong Kong for good, the weather suddenly cleared up, clearing away the gray skies, becoming warm and lovely.

The plane broke through the clouds, and the afternoon sunlight fell on the dense sea of clouds like scattered gold.

The cabin was quiet, and the flight was very smooth, so he not only fell asleep during the several-hour journey but also had a dream about his childhood.

In the dream, he was reunited with his parents who had died in a car accident, had a complete home. He no longer obsessed over going to the aquarium to see hermit crabs, nor did he crave sweet cotton candy at sunset.

When it snowed, it was extremely cold outside, but he was inside the warm room, lying by the foggy window watching snowflakes fall.

From nearby came the sounds of the range hood and his parents chatting and laughing. The soup on the table gave off fragrant steam. Everything was so perfect that it would have been the perfect happy ending for a soap opera.

Little Lin Haoda suspected he was dreaming, so he closed his eyes, counted to three in his head, and opened them. He found that nothing had changed; home was still there, and his parents were still there.

He snuck into the bedroom and hid in the closet, not understanding why he did this, but had a feeling that whenever he messed up and got punished, this was where he was supposed to hide, even though he was also afraid of the dark and the cold.

But today was different. Lin Haoda, hidden in the closet, was soon found by his mother.

When she reached out and pulled open the closet door, warm yellow light fell on his face, as if a choir of angels were singing of love in his ear. Lin Haoda reached out his hand to his mother, and she lifted him out of the closet, gently soothing him in a soft voice.

Lin Haoda hugged her neck, smelling the familiar scent of his mother, closed his eyes, and finally let a few happy tears fall.

The plane landed at dusk. In the glow of the sunset, Lin Haoda raised his hand and touched the cold tears on his cheek.

For him, the word "happiness" had always been too much a matter of luck. Perhaps one had to experience too much deception, too much forgetfulness, and too much giving up to even brush against that illusion.

The happiness in dreams was endless, but after waking up, even love was just a beautiful, fleeting dream that can't be real.

How many tears must one shed before the riverbed fills with water again?