Chapter 60 Try Dating Me

Chapter 60: How About Trying to Date Me

Every time they argued, instead of solving the problem, Guan Junshan was always more accustomed to handling Lin Haoda's body first.

Lin Haoda could feel it. As long as he was exhausted to the point of no longer having the strength to resist, unable even to utter a word of refusal, Guan Junshan would take that as his acquiescence, and then they could return to that state of a facade of peace.

Only children would bicker and fight hard, only to make up quickly.

Adults try to limit how often they argue because it's mentally draining. Each quarrel wears down the love between them.

Their relationship had indeed started out irrationally, and they didn't have the heart to end it cleanly.

Neither had any sense of security. Lin Haoda feared Guan Junshan was just playing around and would eventually get bored and lose interest; Guan Junshan believed Lin Haoda had never truly wanted to be with him, that they had no future, that Lin Haoda had been forced to his side from the very beginning and could take off at any moment.

But Guan Junshan’s need for Lin Haoda grew day by day—not just physically, but even more so emotionally.

The uncertain future only spurred him toward a complete, devastating possession.

These two extremes of emotion wrestled and pulled inside him, fermenting in his heart day after day. Guan Junshan was pushed to the edge of sanity, and the smoking habit he had long quit came back knocking. At first, Guan Junshan only smoked at work, one cigarette a day was enough, but later he grew more insatiable. The smoke seemed to seep into his bloodstream and then dissipate into the air, carrying away none of his pain.

He wasn't a particularly lustful person. Otherwise, he wouldn't have remained single for so many years without a steady partner. But faced with Lin Haoda, his self-control became increasingly thin. In the early days, they could still sleep together, but later he preferred to move to the guest bedroom, or else he’d use work as an excuse to stay late at the office. By the time he got home, Lin Haoda was already fast asleep. Guan Junshan would take off his dew-damp coat outside the door before daring to enter and glance at him.

In the dim bedroom, Lin Haoda breathed steadily, sleeping oblivious. Guan Junshan stood by the bed, looking at his innocent sleeping face, and felt that his innocence was cruel.

He had no choice but to take a cold shower in the bathroom, but even that didn’t help. Those dreams only grew more intense in the night. Guan Junshan had never dreamt of so many positions with one person. What he casually caught a glimpse of during the day would instantly come true in his dreams.

Occasionally, when he couldn’t bear it anymore, he crossed the line. After drinking too much at a social event, he returned home to find Lin Haoda still awake. Lin Haoda took the nearly unconscious Guan Junshan from Yang Yue’s hands, worry in his voice: “How could you drink so much? Aren’t you the big boss?”

Yang Yue just smiled and said nothing.

As soon as the door closed, Guan Junshan leaned onto him. Lin Haoda couldn’t support his weight, and they both fell onto the carpet. Afraid Guan Junshan might hit the cabinet edge, Lin Haoda carefully used his hand to cushion him.

In truth, Guan Junshan was only about seventy percent drunk, far from fully unconscious. All he wanted was to rest against Lin Haoda’s chest for a while. Seeing that he couldn’t push him off, Lin Haoda gave up struggling, touched his nose and chin, and whispered childish things into his ear.

One moment he complained about Guan Junshan being surrounded by others, the next he said he really liked him; one moment he asked if he could stop being Guan Junshan’s secret lover, the next he said it was fine as it was, as long as he saw him every day, that was enough.

Guan Junshan couldn’t take it anymore. Taking advantage of the alcohol, he found his lips and kissed him. But kissing wasn’t enough; he grabbed his waist, lifted him up, threw him onto the sofa, and pressed down to kiss the back of his neck.

Lin Haoda was startled and took a while to react, but he couldn’t resist the overwhelming affection. Between struggle and surrender, Guan Junshan pushed up his clothes, touched from his ribs downward, quickly making him break out in a hot sweat. He kissed along his spine, his fingers pressing deeper inside, quickly draining Lin Haoda of any strength to resist.

The light was ambiguous, the atmosphere thick as warm cream, almost melting them. Guan Junshan was at the entrance, his breath like red-hot iron.

Too tight. Too dry. Every inch in was torture. Lin Haoda, in pain, kicked wildly, couldn’t take it anymore, told him to stop, cursed him to get out, and scratched his wrist, leaving bloody marks. Guan Junshan used his other hand to wipe the sweat from his back, still trying to push in, but the tightness made even his abs twitch uncontrollably.

Lin Haoda lay on the sofa, crying with a face full of tears. Guan Junshan finally relented, had to let him go, carried him back to the bathroom, and coaxed him for a long time.

Being together was such torment. Couldn’t eat, couldn’t talk, couldn’t do it, couldn’t break up.

But this kind of thing happened once, twice, and eventually had to end somehow. Guan Junshan wouldn’t let him go; it was just a matter of how long he could endure before deciding to teach him a lesson.

That morning, seeing Jiang Tianyi off at the airport should have been a happy occasion, but he got a call from Guan Yongyue, who used the company to pressure him, and even brought up Wu Manzhen’s health and the deal about sending her to Switzerland for treatment.

Nothing in the world is simply right or wrong; it’s a matter of the right conditions—exchanging one thing for another. Guan Junshan wasn’t willing to trade Lin Haoda for Wu Manzhen, nor was he willing to exchange his love for his career.

But Guan Yongyue, along with the Jiang family, would eventually trace back to Lin Haoda. Even if it was a secret relationship, their future only had tomorrow.

He didn’t care if Lin Haoda thought of him as greedy or despicable. Marriage and love were like legends for people like Guan Junshan; they couldn’t coexist. Unfortunately, Lin Haoda never believed that.

The room was dim. Guan Junshan had drawn the curtains, leaving only a sliver of light.

By the time the real pain set in, Lin Haoda couldn’t even cry out. His throat was completely hoarse, his whole body felt like it was in a giant steaming basket, his limbs weak and powerless.

Guan Junshan held his wrist, pounding him until he felt like he was falling apart, his organs and soul being thrown out of his body. His heart beat heavily in his chest, one thud after another, his senses covered with a film, every sound and touch becoming foreign and intense.

He wasn’t surprised they would end up arguing in bed. This day would come. Lin Haoda might be ordinary, but he had unusual sensitivity and intelligence; he knew Guan Junshan had been enduring for a long time.

But that face was truly mismatched with desire. The first time Lin Haoda became someone’s concrete container of desire, when he couldn’t take it anymore, he opened his eyes to look at Guan Junshan’s face. He saw his tightly pressed lips and jaw, sweat dripping from his brows to the tip of his nose. Lin Haoda saw that his eyes and expression were restrained, no sign of losing control, and for a moment he felt a flash of confusion.

He thought that even now, Guan Junshan could still master himself. But later, near the peak, when Lin Haoda was so overwhelmed and dazed that he stuck out his tongue, Guan Junshan’s grip on his leg tightened. He leaned down and whispered some indelicate words in Lin Haoda’s ear.

Vulgar, direct, and common.

By four in the afternoon, Lin Haoda barely managed to eat lunch.

Cold curry and chicken, because by the time the delivery arrived, Guan Junshan had trapped him in the bathroom a little longer.

All the heaters in the room were on. Lin Haoda, barefoot on the carpet, was allowed an extra pudding after his meal. That might count as some kind of compensation, because the red marks on his wrists and collarbones were too dense, and the bruises on his knees were terrifying.

Guan Junshan stared silently at his neck and knees for a long time, then came over and kissed the tip of his nose, saying softly, “I’ll go buy some medicine.”

Lin Haoda was angry, but also mixed with too many other emotions. He wanted to put on a cold face, but his soft, handsome features made it hard. In the end, his expression became nothing at all, except he held Guan Junshan’s hand a little reluctantly and asked, “Is it cold outside? Seems like it’s raining.”

Guan Junshan turned his head to look at him, gripping his cold fingers back. “I’ll be back soon.”

Lin Haoda was quiet for a moment, then let go and said, “Oh.”

Guan Junshan returned with a bag containing not only some anti-inflammatory ointment but also some snacks like strawberry milk and soft cookies.

Lin Haoda accepted them without much politeness, didn’t even say thank you, because he knew Guan Junshan would feel guilty toward him for a long time to come, and he might as well take advantage of it. That was another sign of his cleverness.

They had little to say. Their words and energy had been exhausted in that long, rough exchange. Lin Haoda sat on the living room carpet, casually turned on Guan Junshan’s game console, then picked a game cartridge from the storage cabinet.

Lin Haoda wasn’t particularly skilled at games, not the really good kind, but he enjoyed playing and liked many types.

Guan Junshan was the opposite. His time and energy were scarce, so he only played his favorite kind, and he had to be the best at it.

After a few exchanges, they settled on a multiplayer competitive game where they could team up. Each took a controller and played all evening.

Sometimes Lin Haoda would steal Guan Junshan’s character. He knew Guan Junshan liked playing damage-dealers and could carry the whole team, but Lin Haoda was tired of playing support and wanted to try being the center of attention.

At first, Guan Junshan played support terribly. He often confused shield and heal skills, and forgot to revive fallen teammates.

The team voice chat was open, and the other teammates cursed the newbie support with every insult they could think of. But Guan Junshan had to take it, because if he left the game and shut it down, his account would be banned.

Lin Haoda listened to their creative, foul-mouthed critiques while watching Guan Junshan’s character follow him around, healing and shielding him. Half of his anger melted away.

They played until late, shutting down the console and getting into bed close to midnight.

Guan Junshan was insatiable. Not only did he insist on sleeping in the same bed, but he also tried the same trick again. The mattress creaked softly, and Lin Haoda felt the world spin as he was pinned down again.

Even the best-tempered person would lose their cool. Lin Haoda couldn’t take it anymore. He flipped over and sat on Guan Junshan’s waist, without the polite "Mr. Guan" or the fake courtesy, and slapped him on the chest, then leaned down to bite his collarbone—deeply, leaving a tooth mark embedded in the skin.

Guan Junshan froze for a moment, then reached up to pry his jaw open. Lin Haoda, still nursing his anger, had already bared his teeth and went all out, biting a row of marks along his collarbone.

Guan Junshan was used to seeing him gentle and agreeable, so seeing him so unreasonable, like a little mad dog with sharp teeth venting his frustration, he really had no way to deal with him. He rubbed his back, patted his waist, and then laughed.

Lin Haoda heard it, released his bite unhappily, and looked up at him. “What are you laughing at?”

Guan Junshan raised a hand to touch his face, turned the bedside lamp a little brighter, and stared into Lin Haoda’s eyes in the light. He opened his mouth, originally wanting to say “baby,” but hesitated, and finally said, “Lin Haoda.”

Lin Haoda didn’t move. He stared down at him silently, wearing a rare, deliberately cold expression.

But Guan Junshan only found him adorable.

So he said, “Do you want to try dating me?”