Chapter 86 Do You Think I Should Marry Her?

Chapter 86: Do You Think I Should Marry Her?

Lin Haoda, dazed, hesitated and took half a step back. In the quiet space that held only the two of them, the faucet in the sink hadn't been tightened properly, and the faint drip of water droplets became the only background sound.

The barrage of news left him dazed, and the shoulder that Guan Junshan had just gripped was now tingling belatedly. His heart pounded like it might leap out of his chest.

What did it mean? No engagement? No marriage either?

What about Jiang Tianyi, then? Were they never together at all?

The wall lamp cast a soft glow. Lin Haoda stared at the two overlapping shadows on the floor, his mind moving sluggishly.

The winter night air was cold, mingled with a faint wisp of men's cologne. Lin Haoda's voice was low: "I'm sorry."

He moved his lips: "I thought..."

He didn't finish. Under Guan Junshan's gaze, he lost the will to make the excuse that it was all his own mistake.

Maybe the news had indeed reported it, but Lin Haoda hadn't paid attention. After returning from Hong Kong, he'd stopped listening to the radio and changed some time-wasting habits—so whose fault was it, really?

Guan Junshan lowered his eyes to look at Lin Haoda, was silent for a moment, then asked again: "Do you think I should marry her?"

Lin Haoda lifted his head.

Guan Junshan stood under the lamplight. He was tall, his face illuminated, his pupils dark and deep, and Lin Haoda's own reflection was clearly visible in them.

It was only natural to find the question too abrupt, because Lin Haoda had merely happened to appear at this party. All reunions in the world are unscripted—if he'd been allowed to read it beforehand, he would rather have declined to show up.

Not deliberately to avoid anyone, but just to reduce unnecessary trouble. Human relationships are subtle and fragile; sometimes it only takes a single word, a single label.

Thinking this, Lin Haoda looked away and answered calmly to Guan Junshan, who had waited long enough: "I don't know."

He tried to maintain an objective tone, as if evaluating a high-risk project where one shouldn't get too involved: "That's your business."

It had nothing to do with him, and it was meaningless to everything in reality. Whether Guan Junshan wanted to date or marry someone, how many entertainment headlines he would make tomorrow, the earth would still spin. Lin Haoda neither watched TV nor bought newspapers.

Guan Junshan said nothing.

The silence between them was alternating. Even the most tactless adult knows polite conversation and leaves room for a graceful exit, but here—in this narrow, dimly lit corridor—topics that were difficult to answer and even more difficult to remain silent about kept coming up one after another.

The music from the garden had stopped at some point, leaving only very light breaths, one overlapping another. Guan Junshan raised his eyes and looked at Lin Haoda's cold, unfamiliar expression. He felt he should correct the mistaken answer but didn't know where to start.

How could it have nothing to do with him? Of course it had everything to do with him. He was Lin Haoda.

If regret were allowed, at this moment Guan Junshan would regret that there once had been a ring that pledged their love between him and Lin Haoda, yet now Lin Haoda could only search the hands of someone else for proof of their love.

When they walked out of the villa, Lin Haoda seemed hesitant, frequently looking back over his shoulder, his steps were reluctant.

The misunderstanding was cleared up, and the initial shock gradually subsided. After a couple of steps, he suddenly stopped and handed the car key back: "I won't trouble you, President Guan."

He lowered his eyes, staring at the silver logo on the key fob, sounding polite and rational: "I can go back on my own."

Guan Junshan, walking ahead, turned around: "Waiting for your friend?"

Lin Haoda still held out the key, and said "yes" with a very frank and unusually relaxed expression: "Yes, him."

Guan Junshan raised one eyebrow. "Lin Haoda." Then he reached out and grabbed his wrist.

The warmth of his palm pressed against Lin Haoda's pulse, shielding him from the cold air, causing a faint tremor. He soon regretted it and tried to pull his hand back, but Guan Junshan held him tighter, fixing him in place.

The lawn lamp cast a dim glow. Guan Junshan's straight nose acted like a dividing line, the lower half of his face hidden in shadow. His expression was calm, but his tone turned cold: "Do you know where he is right now? If he were really responsible, he would have shown up already."

"And how..." his lips parted and closed several times, as if he wanted to speak, then lowered his voice: "How could he leave you alone like this?"

What he'd wanted to say was "How could it be my turn?", but after a moment's hesitation, he decided that might make Lin Haoda uncomfortable—as if he were an object to be fought over—and that he himself was being too presumptuous.

Sure enough, Lin Haoda fell quiet. After a moment, he compromised, telling Guan Junshan that he would make another call to reach Pei Mingyi.

Of course, he couldn't let him go and make that call. Guan Junshan stood still. Lin Haoda tried to free his wrist but couldn't, so he nudged him lightly with his arm. Just then, footsteps sounded behind them—someone was coming out of the villa. Guan Junshan quickly stepped forward, and in the dim lamplight, Lin Haoda was almost pulled into his embrace.

"Don't move," Guan Junshan pressed his other hand on his shoulder, threatening in a low voice: "Someone's coming."

Lin Haoda struggled a bit, but soon stopped: "...Who is it?"

Guan Junshan didn't answer. As the distance suddenly closed, the intensity of the cologne doubled. Mixed with the cold night wind, Lin Haoda caught the scent of bergamot, feeling dazed for a few seconds.

He looked up and saw the metallic tie clip, gleaming coldly in the moonlight. The tie had subtle patterns floating on it, like little boats adrift in the Milky Way.

"Guan Junshan," Lin Haoda finally couldn't help it and pushed at his chest.

"It's Jiang Tianyi," Guan Junshan told him. After a pause, he quickly added: "Did you see her earlier?"

Lin Haoda's back stiffened. He ducked his head, then looked up at Guan Junshan, and asked softly: "Is it really her? Coming this way?"

Guan Junshan pretended not to know and said "yes," adding truthfully: "She's with a man."

Lin Haoda's hand on his chest moved, then turned his hand and grabbed Guan Junshan's fingers. "Quick."

His voice was very low, full of urgency: "Let's go."

Guan Junshan looked down at his trembling eyelashes and suddenly asked: "Weren't you going to make that call?"

"No need," Lin Haoda quickly backtracked, as if he hadn't just been the one pushing him away to make way for someone else. He urged, speaking faster and faster: "Let's leave here first. Stop talking."

Guan Junshan watched his eager expression and admitted to himself that he had a childish thought. He deliberately remained still: "They're almost here. Maybe we should say hello."

Lin Haoda was stunned, looked up at him with some disbelief, as if blaming him for not getting the hint. Guan Junshan saw him furrow his brow slightly and move his lips, but in the end he said nothing.

Those frustrations were likely taken out somewhere else. Lin Haoda yanked his arm roughly and dragged Guan Junshan quickly out of the garden.

Feeling the warmth transmitted to the back of his hand, Guan Junshan's thoughts began to wander. Staring at that retreating figure, he called out, "Lin Haoda."

He couldn't help it; his tone became cheerful in the wind: "Who are you hiding from?"

Lin Haoda was determined to get to the gate. Whether he really didn't hear or was pretending not to, he didn't answer, instead changed the subject: "President Guan, could you please walk on your own?"

He loosened his grip a little and complained with dissatisfaction: "Don't always pull against me. You're really heavy."

Guan Junshan, tall and large-framed, was completely unaware of his own fault and instead found fault with Lin Haoda: "Don't you think you need to exercise?"

He even dragged in Pei Mingyi, who wasn't even there: "Hasn't your good friend suggested you adjust your lifestyle?"

Lin Haoda thought he was completely unreasonable but decided not to argue. He quickly walked out the gate, stopped on the roadside, then took out the car key again and asked which car was his.

Guan Junshan pressed the key, and a car's headlights flashed at the roadside. Lin Haoda walked toward it, moving as if someone were chasing him.

The air inside the car was a bit cold, filled with the smell of new leather. Lin Haoda got into the passenger seat and quickly fastened his seatbelt.

Guan Junshan turned on the air conditioner, and warm air soon started blowing out of the side vents. The engine was running, but he didn't start the car for a long time. Lin Haoda turned his head and saw that the dashboard screen was lit, with Guan Junshan carefully selecting something on it.

Noticing him looking over, Guan Junshan cleared his throat and asked, "You wanna listen to some music?"

Lin Haoda looked down, glanced at his fingers for a second or two, and said, "Nah, I'm good." Then he quickly added, "Can we get going? I have to get up early tomorrow."

Guan Junshan's fingers hovered over the page, paused for a few seconds, and finally selected a track—the third line from the top, a piano piece.

Lin Haoda didn't say anything else, because Guan Junshan soon stepped on the gas, and the car finally moved as he wished.

The moon was already high, hanging above them like a guiding sign.

Guan Junshan drove all the way down the hillside, gripping the steering wheel in silence. Perhaps due to Lin Haoda's last urging, his right foot pressed a bit heavier on the accelerator than usual, the needle on the gauge oscillating around 50 mph. The car sliced through the empty tunnel and woods like a ghostly shadow, swift and silent.

The engine emitted a low roar. Although Lin Haoda sat on a well-cushioned leather seat, he still felt a noticeable jolt when going over a speed bump. He regretted it slightly and tightened his grip on the chest strap of the seatbelt.

Only when the car entered the city and slowed down at a red light did he finally let out a sigh of relief and relax his arms.

He turned his head slightly, moving his stiff neck, and rolled down the window a crack. The midnight wind seeped in through the narrow gap, cutting the strong bergamot scent in the car.

The air was quiet. Neither of them said anything. The red light ticked down steadily, feeling longer than usual, as if every second was stretched into an eternity. At some point, the glove compartment in front of the car opened with a soft rustling sound.

Lin Haoda turned his head and saw Guan Junshan holding a silver lighter. Guan Junshan's fingertips were flipping open a cigarette pack. Noticing Lin Haoda's gaze, his movements suddenly stopped.

"Mind if I smoke one?" He looked back at Lin Haoda and asked politely.

Guan Junshan reached out and pressed the button on the car door, rolling down his own window a little, imitating Lin Haoda's gesture. "This way there won't be too much smell."

Lin Haoda looked away and told him, "Go ahead."

A flame shot up from the silver lighter, quickly licked the tip of the cigarette, and amidst the red glow, blue smoke swirled up. Guan Junshan casually tossed the lighter back into the compartment and turned on the air circulation system, making the noise a bit louder.

There were still over thirty seconds left on the red light. No other cars were around, and few pedestrians were on the street.

The music had stopped at some point. Guan Junshan put the cigarette to his lips, and the faint crackle of the burning tobacco was audible in the dim car. Whether due to the cold wind or the air conditioning, Lin Haoda barely caught any smell of smoke.

"Lin Haoda," Guan Junshan suddenly called out. Seeing him turn, he hesitated for a few seconds, then asked, "You... wanna get some dessert?"

Lin Haoda didn't say "yes" or "no." He just quickly glanced at the numbers on the red light, still moving slowly, and in the long silence, barely any seconds had passed.

Did everyone on this earth have to endure such a long life? His mind quickly wandered, thinking about irrelevant things, not sure if it was only tonight that felt so long.

Guan Junshan sat there, probably going through the same thing. The streetlight fell across his face, splitting it in two. On the illuminated half, Lin Haoda saw his barely fluttering eyelashes. Through the windshield, Lin Haoda also noticed a bakery that hadn't closed yet across the street, squeezed between gray roll-up doors on both sides. The shop was small but looked very cozy.

He forgot how he answered at the time. Maybe it was "I'm not hungry," or "It's a bit late." Probably something like a refusal.

And Guan Junshan was silent for a long time. Only when they were finally about to get through this unusually long red light did he withdraw his hand from the window edge and stub out the cigarette he had barely smoked.

The yellow light blinked twice, then green. Guan Junshan stepped on the gas, and the car moved forward.

Neither window was fully closed, and the wind inside the car picked up. Lin Haoda felt a bit cold and hugged his arms slightly. Then Guan Junshan spoke again from the driver's seat.

"I still have that discount coupon for that bakery." The car turned a corner into an alley, now very close to Lin Haoda's place, just two streets away.

The tires pressed against the ground, making a soft sound. Guan Junshan's voice mingled with it, like an asphalt road after a rain, damp and lingering: "Once after work, I passed by when it was already late. I don't know why, but I went in and got a membership card."

He was rambling on about something, spinning a strange story. What bakery? What discount coupon? Lin Haoda said nothing, looking down at his fingers resting on his knees. The streetlights flashed by quickly, casting fine grid-like shadows on them.

It had rained the night before, leaving dark, damp patches on the ground where sunlight couldn't reach, slowly releasing moisture in the night. Guan Junshan always stopped after saying a sentence, then was silent for a long time. Sometimes Lin Haoda thought of those equally silent damp patches; other times, he felt Guan Junshan's mood seemed even more damp, like sinking into an unknown lake, deeper and deeper, until they hit the bottom.

The car pulled up near Lin Haoda's neighborhood, but Guan Junshan's late-night story was still unfinished. Lin Haoda sat there, thinking there might be a conclusion, so he didn't mention getting out yet.

When the call came in, the windows had just been rolled up and sealed tightly. In this extremely quiet and private space, Guan Junshan was about to speak again, "Have you ever..."

Suddenly, the phone in his pocket vibrated twice.

Lin Haoda thought it was a text at first and ignored it, but the vibrations continued persistently. He took it out and saw it was Pei Mingyi.

Lin Haoda reacted the wrong way at that moment. He held the phone and instinctively shot a glance at Guan Junshan. Guan Junshan misunderstood, thinking Lin Haoda was eager to answer the call, so he rolled the window back down and turned the music on again.

Listening to the piano piece drifting through the night air again, Lin Haoda was momentarily stunned. His mind kept going back to that unfinished story about the bakery. He almost let the call drop before tapping the answer button and putting the phone to his ear.