Chapter 76: Mother and Daughter

Chapter 76: Mother and Daughter

Liu Ze experienced for the first time in his life being criticized for talking too much, feeling both bewildered and perplexed. As the leader of the Liu Wei, they were known for their discretion, and excessive talkativeness was a cardinal sin in their line of work. He rationalized that he was merely conveying his master's message; how could that be considered excessive?

Despite his confusion, he still reported back to his master without omitting a single detail. Upon hearing that Pei Yuanxi found him too verbose, Gongye Chu gave him a thoughtful glance.

This look deepened Liu Ze's puzzlement, as he sensed a similarity between his master's gaze and Second Miss Pei's. Could it be that Lord Gongye also thought he talked too much?

"You do indeed speak too much," Gongye Chu said, his tone mild. Had one not been aware of the future events, they would never have guessed that this subordinate was prone to rambling. Didn't Chong'er constantly repeat "Uncle Liu Ze said" after listening to him drone on?

Liu Ze lowered his head, ready to accept punishment.

"I acknowledge my mistake."

Gongye Chu did not reprimand him, and the room fell into an oppressive silence. This was not unusual for him, so he waited patiently and respectfully. However, as time passed without a word from his lord, doubt began to creep into his mind.

Just as his anxiety reached its peak, his lord finally spoke.

"If I'm not mistaken, you're twenty-seven years old this year."

"Your Excellency has an impressive memory. I am indeed twenty-seven," he replied respectfully, having almost forgotten his own age after years of risking life and limb at the adult's side. It was only now, with the reminder, that he recalled he was a year older than Gongye Chu.

As the years passed one by one, they seemed to have become ageless. If the adult had no age, neither did he. Time for them was but the endless cycle of days and nights.

"Should you have your heart set on a maiden, it would be wise to consider marriage, so as not to envy others' children in the future," Gongye Chu's gaze fell upon the frayed edge of his sleeve, still unrepaired.

"I shall have the seamstress attend to it immediately," he answered, a chill running down his spine, confusion clouding his thoughts. How could he possibly yearn for someone else's child? Why would the adult bring this up all of a sudden?

The Governor's residence had a seamstress, but he had been too preoccupied lately to attend to his clothing. Little did he expect that a mere frayed hem would first draw the adult's attention, and now, his disdain.

Was it possible, as the adult suggested, that it was time for him to marry?

Women were far too troublesome; marriage was the last thing he desired. The adult's sudden interest in his marital status was peculiar. Confused, he left the study and was jolted awake by the cold gust of wind outside.

At their age, they should already be married with children.

The fact that the adult brought this up today might imply that it is the adult himself who wishes to wed, perhaps...

Now it made sense.

With such a revelation, it made sense why Lord had been behaving unusually lately. However, since he had taken a liking to Miss Pei Yuanxi, he could have simply requested an arranged marriage from the emperor or paid a direct visit to her family. Why go through such circuitous means?

It was baffling.

Pei Yuanxi was equally perplexed. She couldn't understand what had possessed Gongye Chu. Why must she repeat the same tasks she had already done before, and without any repetition?

A pair of knee pads and two pairs of socks were not much, but if she made them for Gongye Chu, she would have to do the same for her brother. Then, there was her father – she couldn't neglect him. In the end, she would need to make four pairs of knee pads in total.

She didn't have the appropriate furs or leather for the knee pads, so she needed to visit Madam Shen first before starting on the project. As the head of the household, Madam Shen had accumulated quite a collection of high-quality fabrics.

Strangely, Madam Shen wasn't in the Xuanting Courtyard.

The servants informed Pei Yuanxi that their mistress had left early in the morning without specifying her destination. Since Xiang Mang was absent as well, she sought out one of the mothers who Madam Shen still favored for information.

The mother wasn't entirely sure whom Madam Shen was meeting, only mentioning that no invitations from other households had been received. If there was no formal invitation involved, it must be a private arrangement with someone else.

Madam Shen wasn't known to be sociable, and in her earlier years, she had been somewhat of a solitary flower. She didn't have many female friends, and apart from Empress Dowager Zeng in the palace, there seemed to be no one she was particularly close to.

Pei Yuanxi left after leaving a message.

At the third hour of the morning, after Madam Shen returned home, she was informed that Second Miss had come to request some furs. She hastily ordered the storeroom to be opened and personally selected several premium fur materials to be delivered to the waterside pavilion.

Madam Shen seemed to be in an excellent mood, her usual sickly complexion appearing much improved, with a newfound vitality in her usually melancholic eyes.

The selection included fox and mink furs, in white, red, black, and gray, as well as two tiger pelts. It would be more than enough for four sets of knee pads, let alone ten.

As Pei Yuanxi examined the materials, she casually inquired about her mother's outing.

Madam Shen appeared slightly guilty, explaining that she wanted to check on a few shops. Unexpectedly, she encountered Chen Yingxue and thus engaged in conversation.

She clearly had something to hide; perhaps visiting the shops was merely an excuse to meet Chen Yingxue.

Eager to reassure her daughter, she quickly elaborated, "The head of the Chen family happened to be inspecting his own shops, so it was truly a coincidence. I know you don't like Miss Chen, but I believe the head of the Chen family is different from her."

Pei Yuanxi offered no opinion. Of course, Chen Yingxue and Chen Yaozhi were not the same. Chen Yaozhi outwardly held herself in high esteem, claiming to be an ethereally beautiful and talented woman, but in reality, she was shallow. Chen Yingxue, on the other hand, seemed genuinely insightful.

"As long as Mother is happy."

Madam Shen became apologetic, "Don't be upset, I didn't say much to her. Instead, she mentioned our acquaintance from many years ago and offered some thoughtful advice. If I had someone like that by my side before, perhaps I wouldn't have been so blind and foolish to trust the wrong people."

The tone of the conversation conveyed nothing but admiration for Chen Yingxue.

Pei Yuanxi was reluctant to think ill of others, but after all, Chen Yingxue was Chen Yaozhi's daughter. There could only be one way to write the character 'Chen,' and thus, even if Chen Yingxue were exceptional, it was unwise to become too closely entwined with her.

"Mother, one must always be cautious of others," she advised.

Upon hearing this, a shadow fell upon Shen's countenance.

She knew that due to the incidents involving Rulan, Ping Zhen, and the former Empress Dowager, everyone deemed her incapable of discerning people's true nature. She despised herself for having eyes yet failing to see through them.

House Lord Chen declared that none of those wrongs were her doing. Nobody in the world could have foreseen that their closest companions could be malevolent spirits in disguise. How could she possibly guard against their meticulously plotted schemes against her?

"I... I know, I know that I led you to suffer so much due to my misplaced trust in others. But have you ever considered, Yuanxi, how could I have seen through their conspiracy when they colluded against me?" Her voice carried a tinge of sorrow, reflecting the guilt and torment she had been living with ever since discovering that her biological daughter had been switched.

The mere thought of those events brought unbearable pain. She was aware of the whispers outside, how people speculated that perhaps she had sinned excessively in a past life to deserve such trials in this one.

She didn't wish to argue, for she knew she was in the wrong. It was her actions that had wronged her own daughter, causing her to live as a concubine-born child for fifteen long years. She had contemplated spending the rest of her days pretending to be blind, taking each day as it came and pushing away all thoughts.

But she is human, and humans are susceptible to joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure.

In her moments of sorrow, she yearned for someone to comfort and care for her. In times of regret, she wished for someone to alleviate her distress. Yet, no one did. Her daughter's estrangement pained her. Although her husband didn't scold her, he hadn't spent a night in her courtyard for days. He didn't go to anyone else's courtyard either, choosing instead to live alone in the front courtyard, which made her feel even more humiliated.

What had she done wrong?

At times, she asked herself, but no one could provide an answer.

The head of the Chen family said she was not at fault for all that had transpired, as it was impossible for her to read everyone's minds. Her only mistake was her hesitation and wavering when she discovered her daughter had been switched.

Pei Yuanxi looked at her and said, "Mother, no one blames you. I've told you more than once that I don't blame you."

"But you do!" Shen wept. "You say you don't blame me with your mouth, but do you truly not blame me in your heart? If you really don't blame me, why are you so distant with me?"

"This isn't being distant."

"You refuse to move back to Xuanting Courtyard, and you won't even speak to me about your thoughts. What else could this be if not distance?" Sorrow and resentment began to seep into Shen's heart. "I am your mother, yet when you have something on your mind, you would rather tell your father than share a word with me. In your heart, I'm just a fool, and you look down on me!"

In the chilly atmosphere that settled, only her soft sobs could be heard.

After yelling out those words, she felt a sense of relief. Yes, she had made mistakes, but were they entirely her doing? She couldn't resent her parents; she could only swallow that bitterness within.

Not a single soul spoke up in her defense, except for the head of the Chen family.

The head of the Chen family said that as human beings, it was impossible not to err. Some mistakes were made by others, while some were self-inflicted. Regardless of the cause, a mistake was still a mistake. But one should not be forever bowed down by their errors. Some mistakes could be mended, while others were irreparable.

As for her mistake, it was akin to trying to mend a fence after the sheep had already fled; though belated, it was not beyond redemption.

"I only wish to fulfill my duties as a mother, but you refuse to give me a chance... You look down on me, seeing me as less than a three-year-old child..." Could there be anything more distressing for a mother than her own daughter holding her in such low regard?

"Mother, you're exaggerating. I don't look down on you, I just fear others may have ulterior motives." Pei Yuanxi's voice was soft, tinged with resignation.

Madam Shen found herself becoming even more resentful, though she didn't know why. She didn't want sympathy from others, nor did she wish to hear such words again. She would rather everyone be like the head of the Chen family, speaking candidly without bias, than endure these empty comforting words.

Days of pent-up emotions weighed heavily upon her heart, which she had been enduring with great effort. Suddenly, someone understood her, and she felt an overwhelming urge to unload her burden, as if her heart could no longer bear those accumulated sorrows, nor could she shoulder the pain alone.

"You're afraid that the head of the Chen family has an ulterior motive in getting close to me. Yuanxi, you are clever, and Mother lacks your insight. But Mother is not a fool, I can distinguish between right and wrong. Her encounter with me was merely a coincidence, and I was the one who initiated conversation, pouring out my troubles to her. She didn't speak ill of anyone; every word she said was sincere and impartial."

She might not realize how hurtful the word "fool" could be. By declaring that she was not a fool, Madam Shen unknowingly implied that Pei Yuanxi was. If Pei Yuanxi were truly sensitive, these two words alone could sever their relationship.

No expectations meant no disappointment. Fortunately, Pei Yuanxi had never demanded anything from her, so the word "fool" simply vanished like smoke in the air.

Still immersed in sorrow and indignation, she said, "How can it be my fault when others plot against me? My mistake was in being too soft-hearted, in not having the resolve to send her away when I discovered the switch between you and Yuanjun. Do you think I didn't want to? I am a mother, I nurtured her for fifteen years. Through thousands of days and nights in those fifteen years, how can such a bond be severed so easily? I am not an animal!"

A soft whimper echoed, filled with grievance and pain.

The sobs grew louder, each one a testament to the well of guilt, sorrow, and regret she was pouring out from the depths of her being. As the matriarch of the Marquis's household, she should have been the embodiment of prestige and honor. Yet, who could have fathomed the depths of her silent endurance and desolation that had marked these passing years?

A lady of the household, without an legitimate heir, and her only birth daughter replaced by another. She dared not reveal the slightest hint of resentment in public, for all the original sins seemed to stem from her own family.

A pristine handkerchief was offered before her, and through her tear-blurred vision, she gazed at her own flesh and blood daughter.

Pei Yuanxi had never blamed her, regardless of whether she believed it or not. "Mother, I've never held anything against you. There's no need for you to reproach yourself in front of me. I can understand your feelings for Yuanjun; a bond between mother and daughter that has lasted fifteen years isn't something that can be easily severed."

It was precisely because she knew everything and understood human nature and common emotions that Pei Yuanxi found it impossible to become close to her mother, nor could she pretend that the past fifteen years had never happened.

After wiping away her tears, Shen felt much better emotionally. "I'm not forcing you to be close to me... I just feel a bit upset."

Pei Yuanxi's expression was devoid of joy or sorrow; some things were simply in the past. Once, how much she had yearned for a closer relationship with her mother, but fate seemed to constantly frustrate her wishes.

Another long silence ensued, during which Shen's emotions stabilized significantly. "I know you're worried about me, afraid that I might be deceived again. I have my own judgment, I won't get too close to Master Chen."

Leaving the pavilion, she wore a sorrowful and helpless expression.

Xiang Mang supported her, sensing her disappointment, "She knows everything, but she just doesn't want to get close to me. She says she doesn't blame me, but I can tell there's resentment in her heart."

"Lady, Second Miss is a good girl. She must be worried about you."

She gave a self-deprecating smile, "At my age, I still have my own daughter worrying about me. I'm not fit to be a mother. In her eyes, I'm not even as capable as a three-year-old child. A child of three can play and interact with others, yet I seem to be wrong even for having a few words with someone."

Her words were laced with sadness and a hint of resentment.

She was her own flesh and blood; if she understood and didn't blame her, why couldn't she draw closer to her? Within the confines of this marquis's residence, who could truly comprehend the hardships she endured?

What has sustained her dignity and grace for the past fifteen years?

It was Yuanjun.

Suddenly, Yuanjun found herself cast as another's child, a torment unimaginable to others. She gritted her teeth and swallowed her blood, bearing the pain silently. Though wronged by others, she was at a loss as to whom to direct her hatred.

Xiang Mang hesitated to respond, instead supporting her as they moved forward, stepping cautiously through the uneven terrain.

Second Miss is suffering, Lady is suffering, and even Marquis Xuanping is suffering.

Second Miss has spent fifteen years as a concubine's daughter, while Lady was deceived by those around her into treating the girl like her own. In the vast inner courtyard of the marquis residence, Marquis Xuanping doesn't even have a place to rest his head.

To outsiders, the marquis household appears prosperous and vibrant, but within, there are countless bitter hardships. Amidst all this, only Aunt Zhao remains unchanged. For years, she didn't vie for attention or possessions, and in the end, she has a complete family with both a son and a daughter.

Everything is predetermined by fate, and one has little control over it.

Upon returning to Xuanting Courtyard, the lady and her servant were surprised to find Marquis Xuanping awaiting Madam Shen. Madam Shen gathered all her composure, striving to appear as if nothing had happened.

It had been many days since the couple last spoke together. The continuous incidents had dampened Marquis Xuanping's interest in the inner courtyard. Nowadays, he resided in the front courtyard, rarely visiting his wives' chambers, except for the occasional visit to Changhui Courtyard.

He had come for Pei Ji's marriage.

General Hong was straightforward, directly mentioning his intention to form an alliance. The character of the other party was beyond reproach, and Miss Hong had always been on good terms with Yuanxi. Both families were of similar status, making it a rather suitable match.

However, matters of children's marriages are domestic affairs, and he couldn't neglect his legitimate wife's dignity. Such matters should be handled by the head mistresses through negotiation and exchange, which was why he had come to consult with Madam Shen.

Madam Shen remained silent, her thoughts dwelling on what Chen Yingxue had said.

Those words struck a chord deep within her, and in the compassionate gaze of the other woman, she found herself uncharacteristically yearning to confide. Things she would never dare utter before others were suddenly spilling from her lips in this gentle presence.

Putting herself in Chen Yingxue's shoes, she understood that a daughter acknowledged after many years was no different from a niece in terms of affection—neither could be treated lightly or too heavily. Despite any estrangement between the children, as an elder, she had to strive for their well-being with all her might.

To secure them a life of peace, to ensure they would know no worries throughout their existence.

Thus, even if Yuanxi was distant towards her, she still wanted to plan for her daughter's future. The Hong family was certainly reputable, and Miss Hong was on good terms with Yuanxi. However, just as Yuanxi feared ulterior motives in others' kindness, so did she. She had no son to rely on; while Jige doted on Yuanxi now, what about in the future? A playful and rowdy daughter-in-law, one who disliked literature and preferred swords and martial arts, would not be to her liking. Moreover, she was not Yuanxi's birth mother; how could she assert authority over her in the days to come?

Without explicitly agreeing or refusing, she simply stated that the union of two children in marriage should be approached with great caution. She wished to gain a deeper understanding of Miss Hong's character before making any decision.

Marquis Xuanping found the reasoning compelling and entrusted the matter to her.

In an alliance between two families, it is the ladies who first establish relations.

When Lady Hong received the invitation from the Marquis's residence, her face lit up with amusement, finding it highly entertaining to see her formerly bold and uninhibited daughter transform into a blushing, demure young lady. After teasing her daughter for a bit, she promptly instructed the servants to prepare gifts for their visit. Turning back to her daughter, she then imparted earnest advice on how to conduct herself and what to say during their visit, emphasizing every point with the gravity of a mother's concern.

Hong Baozhu listened attentively with a blushing face. The mere thought of being betrothed to that composed and handsome gentleman sent her heart ricocheting like a hare's.

On the day of her visit to the Marquis's residence, she was meticulously groomed by Madam Hong. Dressed in the most fashionable dress of the season, she was so self-conscious that she even forgot which foot to step forward with.

Observing her awkwardness, Madam Hong couldn't help but chuckle.

Recalling the distress her daughter had endured from others' gossip and the harsh words spoken when her daughter first befriended Miss Pei, the second lady of the Pei family, she felt a sense of karma. Now, the Pei family's second daughter was basking in the emperor's favor and rumors were circulating about her betrothal to the Duke's residence. Countless people had approached her these past few days, trying to gather information with their sycophantic demeanor, which was quite comical to think about.

The mother and daughter arrived at the Marquis's residence filled with anticipation and were led by the servants to the Xuanting Courtyard.

The doors of the Xuanting Courtyard stood wide open, and from afar, they could hear the cheerful laughter of young maidens.

Hong Baozhu was puzzled but, due to her nature, she did not dwell on it too much. However, Madam Hong felt a sinking sensation in her heart, sensing an ominous premonition. Upon entering the main hall of the Xuanting Courtyard and seeing Madam Gu and her daughter Shen Yurong, Madam Hong's heart grew cold by half.

The two families had little interaction in the past, mainly because Marquis Xuanping and General Hong were once at odds, and also because Madam Shen did not particularly favor Madam Hong's humble origins.

Madam Hong came from a small family, a background that the esteemed and well-born Madam Shen would have deemed insignificant. Thus, over the years, Madam Hong and Madam Shen had minimal contact.

Times had changed, and with Marquis Xuanping now on good terms with General Hong, the pretense of cordiality needed to be maintained.

Madam Gu was warmly hospitable, while Shen Yurong was fully attentive to etiquette.

Madam Shen was not an effusive person; her chronically ill appearance often made her look unwell. Though Madam Hong concealed it well, the anticipation and joy in her heart had faded, leaving only politeness behind.

Completely oblivious, Hong Baozhu greeted Yuanxi bashfully, no longer displaying the straightforward vivacity of old.

"I've heard my Baozhu mention your second miss frequently, hardly a conversation goes by without mentioning her cousin, Yuanxi. I've long wished to be acquainted with Lady Pei, and today that wish has come true."

By attributing her visit to her daughter's friendship, she maintained propriety.

To Shen Yurong, Madam Shen said, "Yurong, take Miss Hong to find your second cousin and play."

A simple statement, yet it carried a different meaning in Madam Hong's ears. It was as if Shen Yurong held the position of a host, while they were merely guests. Apparently, the marriage proposal was a desire exclusive to their family, not something the Marquis Manor was keen on.

At present, I adopt a proper mindset, treating the two mansions as if they were simply interacting in a diplomatic manner.

Hong Baozhu was utterly oblivious to the subtle jabs and counter-jabs exchanged among the elders; she followed Shen Yurong with an expression of pure delight to find Pei Yuanxi. Lady Hong couldn't help but sigh at her daughter's innocent nature.