Chapter 38 My Husband, Look, What’s There to Be Shy About…

Chapter 38: "My husband, take a look. What’s there to be shy about?"

In her youth, banking on her fresh face, she could still compete with her elder sister. But now, with her beauty faded and youth gone—her looks, her husband, her children… Back in Yangzhou, many had envied her. Though widowed, she had a capable husband’s family and reliable natal family, along with both a son and a daughter, putting her miles ahead of ordinary women.

But once she arrived in the capital, the grandeur of the Marquis' mansion hit her like a ton of bricks—the towering vermilion gates adorned with neatly arranged bronze nails, the two fierce stone lions glaring imposingly at the entrance, outdoing even the Yangzhou Prefect's office.

Yan Xuefang had been competing with Yan Xuerui since childhood. Even after her elder sister married into the capital, she had only heard of the capital’s prosperity but never seen it for herself, so it hadn’t seemed particularly astonishing. Now, having experienced it firsthand, it felt like entering a jeweled palace, making her realize how small Yangzhou truly was and what a frog in a well she'd been.

How could she swallow that?

Yan Xuefang said, "My daughter Yun Shu is exceptionally beautiful and cultured, no less accomplished than you were in your youth. Now that she’s of marriageable age, if she can find a good match in the capital, she’ll be a great asset to the Marquis’s household in the future. It would be a mutual benefit."

Her husband’s family in Yangzhou was also a well-established family. They weren’t poor relatives coming to mooch off, so there's no "begging" involved.

She'd rather die than beg her!

The two sisters were at odds from the moment they met. Mother Yan shot warning looks at Yan Xuefang while smiling at her eldest daughter: "Your younger sister has always been this temperamental, Rui Er. As the elder sister, don’t hold it against Fang Er."

*You are the elder sister.*

That phrase was like a curse, tightly binding Yan Xuerui. Only she knew how much grievance she had endured in her youth because of those four words.

She wasn’t one to feel sorry for herself. In the past, when Xuefang bullied her as the younger sister, she had fought back as the big sister. Xuefang had a sharp tongue and a narrow mind but was no match for her wits, so Yan Xuerui never really suffered losses.

However, if things ever escalated to their parents, it was a different story. As the "elder sister," Yan Xuerui always had to yield to her younger sister.

Yan Xuerui said calmly, "I wouldn't go that far. The future of the Marquis’s household depends on the men making their way outside. There’s no need for a young lady to contribute through marriage."

"If my sister has such intentions, she should abandon them right now."

She spoke the truth, though the truth wasn’t always pleasant to hear. To Yan Xuefang, it was especially grating.

What did Yan Xuerui mean by that? That the Marquis’s household relied on men, implying that she was left a widow? Taunting her for being alone?

Yan Xuefang’s eyes flashed with fury, her voice suddenly sharp: "Don't go too far."

"Enough!"

Mother Yan banged her hand down heavily on the table. Yan Xuerui’s father was merely a pretty face with nothing behind it; over the years, Mother Yan had been the one running the whole show inside and outside the household. When her expression darkened, the hall fell silent.

"Fang Er, I think you had too much to drink last night and are not thinking straight. Your elder sister has your best interests at heart. How can you be so ungrateful!"

She then turned to Yan Xuerui, her round, well-fed face stretching into a smile.

"Rui Er, you…"

"It's fine, Mother. I know."

Because Yan Xuerui’s father was a live-in husband, in her memory, her mother had always been the unwavering "rock" of the household. When she suffered from cold syndrome as a child, it was her mother who sat by her sickbed, clicking those abacus beads back and forth before decisively declaring, "Our family isn’t lacking those few coins. We’ll treat it."

Now, her mother, who had been strong all her life and was past fifty, was humbling herself with a smile in front of her. Yan Xuerui couldn’t stand to see it.

She sighed and said, "Another day, have the young lady come visit me. As their aunt, I owe the children a meeting gift."

Seeing her tone soften, Mother Yan breathed a sigh of relief, her smile deepening. "Look at you, we’re all family. Why stand on ceremony?"

"You’ve had a hard time alone in the capital. Take good care of yourself. Keep the good things for yourself. No matter how down-and-out our Yan family is, we can’t let the children take advantage of you."

"You haven’t met them yet, but Yun Jing and Yun Shu both have excellent temperaments…"

Yan Xuerui’s father wasn’t good with words. His gaze wandered from the antique display shelf to the powerful calligraphy hanging high on the wall, guessing which master’s authentic work it might be. Yan Xuefang hung her head in silence. The entire hall was filled only with Mother Yan’s clear, lively voice, talking incessantly about her two wonderful grandchildren and the son she had adopted.

Finally, Bi He, noticing Yan Xuerui looked tired, said cheerfully, "Madam, the red date and black chicken soup from the small kitchen is ready. The Marquis specifically instructed that you need to nourish your body since you have poor qi and blood."

"It won’t taste good if it gets cold."

Understanding the hint, Mother Yan immediately rose to take her leave. The group returned to the side courtyard where they were staying, and the smile vanished from Mother Yan’s face.

"Yan Xuefang!"

She pointed at Yan Xuefang, her hands trembling with frustration.

"You were the one who insisted on coming to the capital. Who was it who repeatedly promised me to behave meekly and humbly in front of your elder sister, huh?"

"Who said they’d do anything for the future of their two children?"

"Just one day in the capital, and you’ve already forgotten your promises!"

Mother Yan’s face flushed with anger. The two sisters had never gotten along since childhood, and coupled with what happened back then, she felt guilty toward her eldest daughter. If it weren’t for her granddaughter, she would never have allowed Yan Xuefang to come to the capital.

Earlier, she hadn’t lied to Yan Xuerui. Yun Shu was indeed exceptionally beautiful. Though not as stunning as her eldest daughter had been in her youth, she was a well-known lady of virtue in Yangzhou, with suitors nearly wearing out their threshold.

But she had also concealed some things. A few months ago, the young master of Prince Su's Mansion happened to encounter Yun Shu while she was out boating in Yangzhou. Alone together, the young man and woman quickly developed feelings for each other, and things spiraled out of control.

They initially thought it was a destined match, but upon inquiry, they learned he was the legitimate son of the Prince Su's Mansion’s heir. The Prince Su was notorious for his philandering, and the young master took after his grandfather. He had long been married with a wife, numerous concubines, and several children. Yun Shu naturally refused, but their entanglement was discovered by the young master’s wife, who made a grand show of sending betrothal gifts to their home, offering to take Yun Shu as a concubine on her husband’s behalf.

In the end, the Yangzhou Prefect intervened to settle the matter, but Yun Shu’s reputation was thoroughly ruined. She could no longer find a good match in Yangzhou. Coincidentally, Gu Yan sent a letter hinting for the elderly couple to come to the capital. After discussing it, they decided the whole family would go together.

Having lived in the small city of Yangzhou for too long, and with their adopted son failing the imperial exams several times without receiving any special treatment due to their connections, they weren’t entirely sure how high-ranking "Marquis Gu" actually was. But the title sounded impressive, and even the Yangzhou Prefect showed them some respect, so they thought he could help Yun Shu marry into an official’s family.

Mother Yan sighed and said, "I originally thought that Ming Lan under Rui Er’s care is just the right age, and Rui Er is her biological aunt. If Yun Shu married into the family, she would certainly not suffer."

"Don’t even think about it!"

Yan Xuefang lifted her head and said fiercely, "She’s always been one step ahead of me since we were kids. Now you want my daughter to be her daughter-in-law, serving her morning and night? In your dreams!"

"And it is a dream—they might not even fancy Yun Shu."

Mother Yan sneered. Today, Yan Xuerui had been indifferent. Every time she tried to steer the conversation in that direction, Yan Xuerui deftly diverted it. After several attempts, she gave up and didn’t dare bring it up again.

Rui Er was filial, but Mother Yan was increasingly realizing that Yan Xuerui was not the same as before.

She wasn’t unaware of the rivalry between her two daughters. Xuefang was always the one stirring up trouble, but Rui Er never suffered losses. Usually, she would punish both equally. Rui Er might feel wronged, but she listened to her mother. Once Mother Yan stepped in, she would let it go.

Mother Yan admitted she had her biases. Even five fingers are of different lengths. Xuefang was her only biological daughter, so it was inevitable she doted on her more.

But after what happened back then, Rui Er was taken away by nobility in the capital and gradually grew distant from the family. She had visited her several times afterward. Rui Er was still filial to her parents but not as tolerant and obedient as she had been in childhood.

Her temper had grown much stronger.

Now, in her presence, she showed no courtesy to Xuefang, and even she, as her mother, had to tread carefully. Today, she hadn’t spoken up because she knew that even if she swallowed her pride and asked, Yan Xuerui would definitely refuse.

Why make everyone unhappy?

Mother Yan suddenly sighed, slumping into an armchair as if drained of energy, and said softly, "It’s just as well."

Having a temper was good—it meant she hadn’t been wronged in the Marquis’s household.

She had raised a crying infant into a graceful young woman, only for her to end up as a noble’s concubine. It had pained her deeply back then.

Both are her daughters; even if not by birth, she had meticulously raised them for over a decade—clever, bright, and filial—who wouldn’t adore her?

Only now did Madam Yan belatedly recall, "I wonder how Rui’er’s cold syndrome is doing. Is she still afraid of the cold?"

Earlier, her mind had been wholly occupied with Xuefang, Yun Jing, and Yun Shu. Though Rui’er was right before her, she hadn’t asked a single question.

Madam Yan massaged her temples, feeling a headache coming on. Just then, a maidservant entered from outside—tall, slender, and robust, quite unlike an ordinary servant.

She scanned the room and said, "Greetings to all the masters. The Marquis summons your presence."

Madam Yan was taken aback. She immediately straightened her collar and sleeves, preparing to leave, but the maidservant stood firm and repeated, "The Marquis invites the Elder Madam and the Elder Master to come together."

Master Yan, who had always been more of a prop for appearances, had been slouching in his chair but now sprang to his feet in disbelief. "The Marquis... no, our esteemed son-in-law wants me too?"

The maidservant nodded. Yan Xuefang looked perplexed, paused for a moment, and asked softly, "I’ve been a widow for many years. What could the Marq—Marquis want with me?"

The maidservant smiled slightly. "My lady, the Marquis summoned Master Yan and Madam Yan. He did not call for anyone else. You may rest for now."

"Please, both of you."

***

The night was cool as water, and the bustling marquis’s estate settled into silence after a day of activity.

The maids placed bed warmers beneath the brocade quilt. Bi He removed the pearl hairpins and swaying pendants from Yan Xuerui’s hair, letting her dark, glossy locks cascade down like satin. Suddenly, with a clang, the door swung open.

"Everyone, leave."

Gu Yan’s steps were steady. The maids immediately set down their tasks, bowed, and withdrew quietly, thoughtfully closing the door behind them.

He walked to the dressing table. Yan Xuerui had already changed into a thin silk nightgown. Spring garments were light, and the collar hung slightly open, revealing her snow-white neck and graceful figure. Her makeup was not fully removed yet; her dark hair was loose, and she still wore pearl earrings that glowed softly in the candlelight, making her gleam like jade.

"Lovely."

Gu Yan did not hold back his praise. His palm boldly cradled the nape of her neck as he leaned in slightly, his warm breath brushing against her skin.

"How are you feeling today? Does it still hurt?"

As he spoke, his other arm wrapped around her slender waist, his hand moving toward her lower belly.

In the mirror, the posture was intimate. Yan Xuerui’s eyelashes fluttered as she tried to pull away, but his hold firmly trapped her in his embrace. Instead, Gu Yan pressed her against the dressing table, his grip on her waist tightening.

"Why shy away from your husband looking?"

Gu Yan’s tone held a hint of displeasure; he had completely brushed off yesterday’s quarrel. A man of action, he had vowed to take Fang Zhixu’s life. That morning, at court, under his direction, the Ministers of Rites and Justice had joined forces with several other officials to denounce the palace Taoists for hoodwinking the Emperor with superstitious practices—a crime punishable by death.