Chapter 54 Never Letting Go

Chapter 54: Never Letting Go

The vast hall fell utterly silent. No one had anticipated the Crown Prince would be the first to react.

"According to the laws of our dynasty, for a couple to dissolve their marriage, elders from both families—including the three clans and six relations—must first be summoned. They are to gather in the ancestral hall, light incense, swear oaths, state their reasons, and then draft a document detailing the custody of children, the division of land, property, and valuables. Both parties must sign and affix their seals. Only after this document is submitted to the Ministry of Revenue for verification and archiving can the separation be finalized."

"As the saying goes, it takes a hundred years of cultivation to share a boat, and a thousand years to share a pillow. I have long heard that my Imperial Sister and my Tutor are deeply devoted to each other and blessed with both sons and daughters. Even if misunderstandings or disagreements arise, they can surely be resolved through clear communication. Why must it come to this?"

"Imperial Sister, please reconsider."

The Crown Prince spoke with heartfelt sincerity. After today’s perilous events, his previously stubborn mind had finally grasped the situation.

Now that the Virtuous Prince was dead and the Emperor had not punished him, his teacher, Senior Tutor Gu, had been reinstated. His teacher’s wife turned out to be Princess Changle, the very person the Emperor had spent years searching for. This was kinship upon kinship. From now on, no one could threaten his position as Crown Prince.

Yet the Emperor, a master of balance, would never allow one faction to dominate unchecked. The Emperor had few sons—some born to mothers of low status, others too foolish to be of use, like mud that cannot be plastered on a wall. Even if the Emperor tried to elevate one to rival him, none could pose the same threat as the late Virtuous Prince. He was not afraid.

But if his Imperial Sister were to separate from her husband... A mutual separation (he li) was different from a husband repudiating his wife (xiu qi). Generally, when a woman married into a higher-status family, if she violated any of the seven grounds for divorce, she would be cast out penniless and might not even be welcomed back by her own family, ending in destitution. Separation, however, followed the principle of "mutual consent," allowing the woman to take some assets and even custody of the children.

Though the law permitted separation, in practice it was exceedingly rare due to the cumbersome procedures and social stigma. Even among couples of equal standing, separations were uncommon unless the wife’s family held significantly greater power and cherished her deeply—or, for instance, in the case of Princess Pingyang, who would dare to divorce a princess?

The Crown Prince quickly realized that, though he did not know her reasons, if this newly recognized "Imperial Sister" were to separate from her husband, she could take the children—bearing the Gu family bloodline—back to the imperial family and have them registered in the imperial genealogy.

She had borne Gu Yan two sons!

A cold sweat broke out across the Crown Prince’s body. If that truly happened, with his own flesh and blood at stake, would Gu Yan still support him wholeheartedly? History clearly recorded cases of elder princesses acting as regents and passing the throne to their sons.

If Gu Yan shifted his allegiance to the "imperial grandsons," he would lose his most crucial ally. Gu Yan would replace the Virtuous Prince, and court power would return to equilibrium—something the Emperor would undoubtedly welcome.

In just one day, the Crown Prince’s emotions had swung wildly. Now he felt as though sitting on needles. Before the entire court and all officials, this matter had to be settled.

This was a trap laid by Gu Yan and his wife—specifically for him. What a ruthless scheme!

...

What the Crown Prince saw, others soon realized too. The officials looked upon Gu Yan, the Senior Tutor, with even greater astonishment. A brilliant move—truly masterful—one calculated step following another. Senior Tutor Gu was ambitious... Wait, something felt off?

Gu Yan was usually impassive and inscrutable; no one could ever discern his likes or dislikes. Now, standing alone at the boundary between light and shadow, his jaw clenched so tightly it seemed sharp enough to cut, his dark eyes blazing with fury, fixed unblinkingly on that graceful figure.

"This subject cannot comply." Gu Yan’s voice was like a blade ground from between clenched teeth, carrying unmistakable ferocity.

Yan Xuerui’s proposal had come too suddenly. Even the Crown Prince had thought of multiple reasons to dissuade her, yet the Senior Tutor, who had just skillfully debated the entire court, was rendered speechless.

His eyes reddened, and only four words forced their way from his throat: "Unless I die!"

Want to leave him? Not a chance!

Not even in dreams. She belonged to him—forever. In life, she was his; in death, she would remain his wife. They had bowed together to heaven and earth, sworn their vows to the four directions—they were destined to be husband and wife across lifetimes.

Yan Xuerui lowered her head and remained silent. The atmosphere instantly turned icy. The Emperor’s gaze swept over Gu Yan, then flicked to Yan Xuerui beside him. She knelt on the ground, fingers tightly clutching the intertwined branch pattern on her skirt, fraying the golden threads.

"Marriage is not a matter for jest."

The Emperor’s aged voice rang out from above. Yan Xuerui’s heart clenched, but then she heard him continue, "Princess Changle shall remain in the palace to attend upon me. Within one month, Minister Gu shall submit a memorial stating his case. I will render my decision then."

This meant Gu Yan had one month to explain to the Emperor why he opposed the separation. If the Emperor remained unconvinced, Princess Changle’s wish would be granted.

The Emperor waved his hand. "All of you have labored hard today. Tomorrow’s morning court is canceled. You are dismissed."

That intense gaze felt like needles piercing her back. Yan Xuerui kept her eyes lowered, pretending not to notice, and rose to assist the Emperor back to his chambers.

***

The magnificent hall glowed with night pearls and candles, bright as daylight. Yan Xuerui helped the Emperor sit upon the soft divan, and father and daughter gazed at each other in silence.

After a long while, Yan Xuerui whispered, "Father… have I caused you difficulty?"

What had happened in the golden hall today was actually a spontaneous idea.

Behind the curtain, she and the Emperor had witnessed a drama of brothers turning against each other. What the Crown Prince had only just realized, she had understood the moment Gu Yuan reported, "The Virtuous Prince has been executed."

At that instant, her long-dormant heart stirred, and she conceived this bold plan.

If there was a chance, why not fight for it? After all, her opponent was the Crown Prince—kind-hearted and soft. Even if she failed, it wouldn’t be disastrous. But if the Emperor truly loved her, and her child eventually inherited the empire, it would be an extraordinary victory.

Not long ago, when Gu Yan was suddenly imprisoned without a single word, Yan Xuerui forced herself to stay strong. With the entire household—elderly, weak, women, and children—relying on her, she had felt overwhelmed.

She instinctively looked for Gu Yan. Over the years, he had seemed godlike—omnipotent. He had confined her, yet also protected her. But he was gone.

Who else could she rely on?

Yan Xuerui fell into deep confusion. She read through the correspondence between Gu Yan and his officials—the world hustles and bustles, all for profit. She found no one she could fully trust.

Even her biological father—before she went to the palace to acknowledge him—had filled her with anxiety.

She began to miss the days when Gu Yan stood beside her.

Until that day, when she personally dealt with the old maid who defied her orders. From then on, everyone in the household respected Madam Yan. In truth, even before, no one had dared mistreat her because of Gu Yan’s authority.

But the feeling was different.

She suddenly understood why so many people spent their lives chasing supreme power. She never wanted to feel such fear again. She wanted to give her children the very best.

Under current circumstances, from the Emperor’s perspective, the Crown Prince and Gu Yan were colluding, forming a dominant faction. By proposing separation, she would drive a wedge between the Crown Prince and the Marquis’s household—aligning perfectly with the Emperor’s intentions.

As for Gu Yan, with his bloodline now entering the imperial family—he, who had pursued power all his life—had no reason to object.

As for Ming Lan, Ming Wei, and her mother-in-law, she could explain properly; they would understand.

With timing, conditions, and opportunity all aligned, seizing this rare chance, she unexpectedly proposed "separation" without prior preparation.

Using this seemingly justified reason, she concealed her deepest desire.

She was finally going to be free.

Killing multiple birds with one stone, Yan Xuerui suppressed the trembling in her heart. She had planned this for a long time. By her calculations, Gu Yan would not lose.

But when she spoke those words, she still didn’t dare look at him.

She hadn’t expected him to react so fiercely. He was so intelligent—he should have understood the underlying logic.

In her imagination, when she proposed separation publicly, though angered, for the sake of the children, the future of the Marquis’s household, and his own power, he would grit his teeth and agree. The Emperor would go along, and the matter would be settled.

But now, Gu Yan’s intense reaction not only gave her a headache but also placed the Emperor in a difficult position. Gu Yan’s stance suggested this would not end peacefully.

Yan Xuerui bowed her head in shame. "This matter was my recklessness. I’ve caused you trouble, Father."

Candlelight illuminated the wrinkles on the Emperor’s face. He raised his hand and gently touched her dark hair, speaking kindly, "It’s alright. You are my Changle. I’ve long said I want you to be forever happy and free from sorrow."

"Don’t overthink it. Go back and rest."

Yan Xuerui wanted to say more, but seeing the Emperor’s weary expression, she suddenly remembered: today, the Emperor’s son had died.

And the Gu family was implicated.

Now, bringing up Gu Yan so openly in front of the Emperor, regardless of the reason, was like rubbing salt in the old man’s wounds.

Yan Xuerui felt even more ashamed. She bowed and took her leave as the Emperor had instructed. The palace complex had many buildings, and the Emperor had assigned her quarters near Qianyuan Hall. When she entered, the servants had already swept and cleaned it. Though it was temporarily bare and undecorated, it was spacious, tidy, and very clean.

The servants helped her bathe hastily and change into sleepwear. Her mind racing, Yan Xuerui tossed and turned in bed even past midnight, unable to sleep.

Suddenly, there was a faint noise from outside. The silk curtain was lifted by a chill, damp gust carrying the scent of rain. Yan Xuerui turned over, and abruptly, a tall figure loomed over her. An iron grip clamped around her delicate neck, squeezing so tightly she was nearly suffocating.

“The princess sleeps soundly, I see.”

A hoarse voice whispered by her ear, calloused fingertips pressing with irresistible force, gently stroking her throbbing neck.

His grip was out of control, and Yan Xuerui gradually struggled to breathe, tears welling in the corners of her eyes. She shook her head desperately. “No… it’s not…”

“It hurt.”

Gu Yan paused, the strength in his wrist instantly vanishing. By the dim candlelight, he glanced at her neck, smooth as jade.

As smooth and fine as mutton-fat jade, without a single mark.

He sneered, “You’ve always been good at lying to me.”

Yan Xuerui rubbed her neck, her dark eyes glistening. “It really hurt. About today’s matter, Marquis, please hear my explanation.”

Gu Yan smiled faintly, though not without mockery. “I wouldn’t dare. Now, it is I who should address you as Your Highness the Princess. Forgive my offense, Princess, but today this subject must overstep his bounds.”

He raised his hand and let the bed curtains fall.

An unfamiliar bed, but a familiar scent. Yan Xuerui glanced outside and whispered, “Marquis, this is the imperial palace!”

What will you do if you, a subject, are discovered entering the palace at will?

“Hmph.”

Gu Yan scoffed, his powerful leg pinning her slender waist. “Then, Princess, call for someone to arrest me and throw me in prison.”

Yan Xuerui was momentarily speechless. She looked at Gu Yan’s cold, grim expression and sighed softly.

“Marquis, there’s no need for sarcasm.”

“My intentions… I thought you understood.”

Yan Xuerui softened her voice. “It was all for the greater situation…”

“Bullshit ‘greater situation’! You just want to leave me!”

For the first time, the well-read and elegantly spoken Marquis Gu uttered vulgar words. He gripped her wrist tightly and said fiercely, “I’m telling you, don’t even think about it!”

Yan Xuerui had a head full of arguments, but it was like a scholar reasoning with a soldier—Gu Yan wouldn’t listen. He whispered menacingly in her ear, “Rui Er, be good. Let’s live peacefully together.”

“Push me too far, and I’ll kill the old emperor and serve him to you with wine. How does that sound?”

His study was heavily guarded, yet it was completely unsecured against Yan Xuerui. Little did he expect it would become a sharp blade turned against him, striking him deeply. Furious and grinding his teeth, Gu Yan, the powerful Senior Tutor whom even the court feared, felt the strange illusion of being a discarded “wife of humble origins.”

Of course, he was nothing like a gentle, harmless cast-off wife. He was a venomous snake or a wild beast that even the emperor had to tread carefully around, always baring his fangs and claws.

Yan Xuerui was stunned, her beautiful eyes widening instantly.

“Gu Yan, what nonsense are you saying? Have you gone mad?”

Gu Yan caressed her cheek and chuckled softly.

“Did you only realize that today?”

He understood her schemes but also saw through her little tricks at a glance. Today, he spelled it out for her: even if it meant being branded a traitor, he would never let her go.