Chapter 33: Pure Forum Posts

Chapter 33: Pure Forum-Style Post

Title: "Smash that ○ button if you think Ying Mingche should die."

1L: Can Ying Mingche stop clinging to my Yuan-baby? Go die in a hole since you're so irrelevant, all you know is clinging. Can’t survive without my Yuan-baby, huh? Such a thirsty, clout-chasing piece of trash. Luckily, our Yuan is kind and doesn’t bother with him, but the company is a shitty bloodsucker, always sucking our Yuan dry.

——XXXXXXXXXXXX

——...

——Just entered the thread and saw the ○ button spammed, what’s going on?

——Wait, isn’t this forum supposed to ban Alpha fantasies (shipping fantasies)? OP’s post history looks shady as hell.

——Fuck off, idiot. Can't even check the solo fan section without getting jumpscared? Need a step-by-step guide to make delulu Alphas fuck off?

——Blocked this dumbass, can’t even read the rules? It’s been said a million times—no Alpha-delulu posts, period.

——Okay, OP has been banned. Everyone can speak freely now.

——Ahhhhhhh did everyone watch the livestream?! I followed the whole thing, I’m dying from how good this is, I won’t be able to sleep tonight! It’s just too good—right after the livestream ended, all the big names on various forums went all out with edits, fanworks, and fanfics! Even the top artists in the fandom sketched out the iconic moments from the stream, and the finished artwork came out so fast. Oh my god, the power of shipping is truly the greatest motivation! [Fan art of the livestream incident.jpg]

——OMG I’m smashing ○ for this white-shirted Xiao Yuan first!

——Holy shit this artwork looks like an orgy, it totally captures the scene right before the door opened! Since they just finished showering, the floor is a mess with water stains (definitely all from Xiao Yuan, of course), plus the wrinkled sheets, the damp sofa, the belt tossed near the bathroom door... I'm gonna lose my mind!! [Furious]

——Huh? But didn’t the livestream later explain it was an accident?

——Yeah, yeah, an accident—what a coincidence.

——Just accidentally took off their clothes, just accidentally hugged and rubbed against each other, oops sorry Xiao Yuan couldn’t control it and slipped inside, you know how it is—the floor was wet after showering, so slippery, how could they help bumping into each other and not being able to pull away?

——Alright, after going through the motions, Xiao Yuan’s been thoroughly done. Sorry, Xiao Yuan, couldn’t hold back and left it inside, but you understand, right? You’re just too delicious—it’s only human to lose control.

——...LMAO, you sweet summer child. [Thumbs up]

——Can’t blame us for not buying it—their excuses are just too unconvincing, like they’re not even trying to pretend.

——Yeah, Pei Yanbing said he was holding Yuan Shiyuan’s clothes just to “casually” put them in the washer; Jiang Hang said the room was too hot, so he was changing into a short-sleeve to cool down; Bao Jin said he just finished showering, so he was all wet and about to dry off with a towel (okay, I believe that one’s not from Xiao Yuan—Bao Jin did look pretty drenched).

——But here’s the kicker—Ying Mingxi, guess what he said? He was loosening his belt because the pajama pants he bought on the ship were too big, so he used a belt. But he just realized it was too tight and was adjusting it, and he seriously emphasized that he wasn’t taking off his pants or anything. [Facepalm]

——Huh? Are we allowed to use their real names now?

——Who cares, just go for it. This thread won’t last long anyway, might as well speak freely while we can.

——Wait, where did they get so many clothes from?

——Apparently, they do have them. Now that they’ve made some money—Xiao Yuan sold himself as a little servant and earned 30,000 star coins. They thought the captain earned it, so they spent it without guilt and secretly bought pajamas, otherwise they’d have to sleep in bathrobes.

——If they knew that money came from Xiao Yuan sweating it out by having his tail and ears touched, would they still dare to spend so freely? [Angry]

——If they knew, they’d probably spend it all on Xiao Yuan, making him sweat even more. [Grin]

——Wait, do you guys actually believe these excuses? I don’t. Jiang Hang said he was hot and taking off his shirt to change—what was he doing to get so hot?

——And Ying Mingche said “taking turns” meant it was his turn to shower? You believe that?

——Hell no. These guys are really something, treating us like fools? At least make up a believable story.

——Only idiots would believe that.

——Don’t you need to turn off the camera to shower? Xiao Yuan’s already in a boyfriend-style white shirt, pants off, face flushed, collarbone all red—clearly some dog went to town on him, and you’re telling me it’s just showering?!

——With this atmosphere and progression, having an orgy and eating Xiao Yuan without inviting me? [Eye roll] [Grin] [Pants on fire]

——But Corn Dog seemed genuinely clueless, pretty confused. He was probably just focused on how to devour Yuan and didn’t notice what was happening.

——Corn Dog, I can’t even.

——Hehe, too lazy to type his full name. [Hmph]

——Yeah, I feel like Ying Mingche was just overcome with lust and acted impulsively. Even at the end, he kept insisting he wasn’t wrong—didn’t they agree to take turns? The others were done, so it should be his turn now.

——He even grabbed Yuan’s hand like he was afraid he’d go back on his word: “You’re not going to deny me, are you? That’s not fair—you already gave it to them.”

——What a resentful husband tone—drag him away.

——How dare he be so disrespectful to our Emperor Yuan! Banish him to the cold palace, forever stripped of his right to share the bed! [Angry]

——Xiao Yuan, did you really give it to them? [Sob]

——Xiao Yuan, during that hour I wasn’t there, did you really give it to all of them (except Ying Mingche)?

——I can’t take it, did everyone except Corn Dog get a taste?

——Who believes nothing happened in that hour?

——It happened, it happened—everything that should’ve and shouldn’t have happened, all that’s left is giving birth. Xiao Yuan’s been thoroughly cooked.

——I’m sure something happened too. I went back and rewatched the livestream recording. I must be down bad, I can’t even see the other miners anymore, ○’s legs are so pale and long, and his waist is so slim...

——Reminder: You’ve already watched this video over ten times.

——When I watched the livestream, my first thought wasn’t how steamy the scene was, but how I couldn’t stop staring at Xiao Yuan’s waist... Ying Mingche hugged him from behind, hands gripping Xiao Yuan’s waist, as easily as holding a little kitten.

——So jealous of Ying Mingche...

——How does he get to feast so well?! [Gnashing teeth]

——Suddenly I understand why OP snapped and posted such a vicious title. Ying Mingche has been clinging to ○ from the start, not even pretending, always latched onto Yuan—probably the type to flash his dick at Yuan in private.

——I feel so bad for Xiao Yuan—there are five S-rank Alphas like this in the group. Even though he’s S-rank too, he definitely can’t handle it!!

——I went back and checked Jiang Hang’s statement about the room being hot. How hot was it to affect six S-ranks like that?

——+1. Hard to imagine the scene—five S-ranks surrounding Xiao Yuan...

——Oh god... Xiao Yuan’s just a little kitten, these big refrigerators are beasts! [Pants] [-1]

——Five big refrigerators cornering this one Xiao Yuan? Oh dear, what a mess. [Covering eyes]

——Guys, this is the comment section, not the wild west. [Facepalm]

——Today’s livestream left me stuffed. Even though I didn’t see the process, at least I caught the aftermath—leaving satisfied. [Digging in]

——I’m curious how they’ll handle this? They’re blowing up now—feels like they’ve never been this popular since debut. Every platform is spreading fan edits, even overseas—the whole world knows Scepter openly had an orgy.

——They jumped into the Yellow River themselves, and this time, they can’t wash themselves clean even with its waters.

——Hmm. They wouldn't actually go that far, would they? They're still filming a show, and even though they unplugged the main live stream equipment, they probably wouldn't actually go all the way...

——Yeah, yeah, I think it was probably just some teasing. Otherwise, with so many people, it'd be way too lewd.

——Huh? Wasn't it really just "showering"? I actually believed what they said—was I too naive? [cry]

——Would you rather believe they were "showering," or believe that I'm Xiao Yuan's husband?

——Forcing me to believe they were "showering," huh? Because I'm Xiao Yuan's husband.

——Just watched the fan-made videos, oh my god, why am I so inexplicably excited?! Next step, I'm gonna rush to all the CP fan sites and binge-read fanfics like crazy!

——Amazing, so thrilling! Every time I find new moments to ship! Especially Xiao Yuan's spaced-out expression—it's so adorable I could just eat him up in one bite. [hmph]

——Did anyone notice? The moment the door opened, Xiao Yuan suddenly got really nervous, clamped his legs, and looked at the camera. That was totally an instinctive reaction! If he says he wasn't hiding anything, I don't buy it!

——Why is this little boy clamping his legs? You little devil, Yuan, come here so I can punish you. [lust]

——The expressions of the other members are also priceless and suggestive. I wish I could analyze each member's reaction frame by frame.

——As a Yuan stan, after watching these videos, I’ve totally gone full wolf mode—it's just too addictive!! [drool]

——This height difference is too much. Yuan doesn’t even look that small on his own, but compared to these members, he’s like a tiny action figure—you could just pick him up with one hand and carry him (.

——Yuan, are you really safe in this group?

——Without your mom knowing, have you already suffered a lot? [cry]

——Sexually harassed during daytime schedules, and at night, fed orange segments by those nasty Alphas. Xiao Yuan, Xiao Yuan... Sorry, Mom’s mouth is watering. Let Mom see where you’re hurt, okay?.. Mom promises, it’s not just looking. [lust][smirk]

——Whether he was safe before, I don’t know, but at the very least, he definitely won’t be safe tonight (.

——Feels like these doggish Alphas will seize the chance to continue what they started. Xiao Yuan is really in over his head now. [hehe]

——All Yuan content is so delicious, investing in this ship is totally worth it.

——Yeah yeah yeah, okay, I’ll take your advice and I'll just dip my toes in first. [grin]

——Then I’ll take the plunge but keep it light. Xiao Yuan, you won’t blame me, right? [grin]

——Stop just talking—gimme the good stuff!

——Is there any hubby who’ll spoil me and recommend some All Yuan content? I want the steamy stuff!

——Okay, sent you the link privately. Happy Ending, the E is silent. [grin]

——Hubby, I love you, you’re too good to me. [yellow heart]

——Also asking for links. [yellow heart][yellow heart]

——OMG, I just finished reading it. Which talented author wrote this? Damn, don’t stay anonymous! It’s just too good!

——What’s this about being spread open and rubbed with a nose bridge? Damn... I’m so sorry, baby...

——I’m really a mom-type fan, but it’s just too hot—it’s making me question if you actually have an extra hole.

——I love this little succubus Yuan fic the most! [screenshot]

User: Anonymous

*OOC warning, All Yuan, don’t like don’t read.

Synopsis:

“Yuan Shiyuan is the world’s last little succubus. He wanders through bustling cities, trying hard to blend into human life. He’s never been satisfied and never known the feeling of being full.

Suddenly, one day, he finds a button that can pause time. Starving for so long, he can’t resist going for a big score.

On a bus, Yuan Shiyuan presses the button, freezing time. Coincidentally, the entire popular idol group Scepter is on that bus due to company requirements.

The little succubus, eating for the first time, picks one person first. He takes advantage of the moment, secretly sits on him, and eats a large orange segment. Since it’s the first time the other person has peeled an orange to feed him, the Alpha comes instantly.

For the little succubus, who’s been hungry for years, this isn’t nearly enough. So he shifts his focus to the next member of Scepter...

Yuan Shiyuan did freeze time, and only he can move, but he doesn’t realize that all the members of Scepter are actually conscious.

But they can’t stop him, can’t move on their own, and can’t make a sound. They can only stare intently at the little succubus’s flushed, wet face, watching helplessly as he moves on to their teammates...

The little succubus has been starving for too long; he’s greedy and eats many large orange segments in a row, until he’s completely stuffed. The overload of S-Class Pheromones makes him pass out cold on the spot, his pupils losing focus and rolling upward.

He never expected that, as he lay on the ground breathing heavily, time would start flowing again.

The Alphas of Scepter slowly rise and close in, surrounding the clueless little succubus...”

——Damn, I’m going absolutely feral over this!!

——Hehe, little succubus... it’s little succubus Yuan, wow!

——Sorry, Xiao Yuan, I’ve done something bad to you again. I’m really totally spent. [cry]

——Hehehe, since that’s the case, I’ll share one I like too! I love this one! [screenshot]

User: Anonymous

*All Yuan, lots of personal headcanons.

Synopsis:

“Yuan Shiyuan is the unattainable school idol of the noble academy. No one knows he has another identity—an underground idol.

During the day, he attends classes as an ice prince top student; at night, he’s an idol dancing on stage.

In the noble academy, everyone sees him as their dream lover. The most restless youths of puberty think of him day and night. But one day, they suddenly discover that the aloof top student actually changes into a cute skirt at night...

On stage, Yuan Shiyuan shines brightly, looking so beautiful. Like a princess.

After the performance, they gang up on him menacingly in the dressing room, pressing closer step by step: ‘YuanYuan, you wouldn’t want the other students to know, would you...’”

——Me, me, me! I’ll share this one! “Screenshot: Xiao Yuan being groped by perverts on the subway...”

——“Shared link: The cold CEO’s secret discovered by his subordinates...”

——...

——I really can’t keep up, damn, it’s too steamy!

——Ahh, I’m so furious and aroused! Binging on this content makes me so happy! [devouring]

——I actually wondered if this was all a publicity stunt, but now I have to say, even if it is, I’ll take it... Whether it’s Starry Night Entertainment or the *Struggle for Survival* production team, you’ve really won. I freely admit I’m now obsessed beyond help! You're too good at this; I surrender completely. I deserve to be addicted to All Yuan!

——I'm totally screwed... Being obsessed with Xiao Yuan, my life is ruined!

——In fanfics they go at it hard, but it suddenly occurred to me—in real life, they're actually not that great, huh?

——So everyone except ymc is on the table, right? That means four people in one hour, so each gets about five minutes. Pfft, that's it? And they claim to be S-tier? [disgusted][pouting][rolling eyes]

——Maybe two teamed up? [silly laugh]

——That is indeed a bit fast. Not like me—I can last an hour just using my hands.

——Not being able to cum is a medical condition, thank you. You can go to the hospital and see a doctor.

——Dream Alphas, get the hell out, OK? Go back to your own section. You're not welcome here.

——? I don't understand. We all like Xiao Yuan—can’t we just coexist peacefully? Why do you have to ban us from this section?

——Xiao Yuan is being forced by his company to promote BL relationships and act intimate with his teammates. Shouldn’t we all be boycotting that? Yet you’re here shipping it hard and then turning around to attack us, who also like Xiao Yuan. If you ask me, you’re the ones who should be stripped of your fan credentials!

——Moron.

——Already reported to the complaint section. Prepare to get dragged, dumbass.

——Is it fun to fantasize every day that Xiao Yuan is your wife and live in a fantasy? [screenshot]

User: Xiao Yuan’s Number One True Love Husband

Post: This is the first pair of couple rings Xiao Yuan picked out for me. Actually, I wanted to buy more expensive ones, but Xiao Yuan lay in my arms, looked up with a smile, touched my face, and said I’ve been working hard enough—he feels bad for me, so cheaper ones are fine, and we can always upgrade later. Xiao Yuan really loves me, and we’ll be happy together in the future.

——Oh my god, the cringe is strong with this one.

——Oh wow, so you’re also LARPing as Pei Yanbing, photoshopping yourself in to pretend you’re the one with Xiao Yuan?

——The edit looks fake as hell, and get lost while you’re at it.

——Uh, you mean these wedding rings? I’m gonna try to grab a pair later too. [facepalm][shopping cart pre-order screenshot]

——Oh my god, the pre-order hasn’t even started yet, and you’re already faking it. How does it feel using Pei Yanbing’s identity? [facepalm]

——If you really like Xiao Yuan, when the pre-order starts in half an hour, go ham and buy tons to push sales, OK? Scepter and Necro are releasing magazines on the same day, and Necro is basically Xiao Yuan’s rival. If you don’t support Xiao Yuan now, I’ll really think less of you.

——Of course I’ll buy! I’ll also mobilize other Husband Fans to buy together. So you see, we’re actually on the same team.

——Can’t Husband Fans and Wife Fans just coexist peacefully? Let’s love Xiao Yuan together, and the forum shouldn’t block us.

——Who wants to coexist with you? Don’t you realize you’re the ones ruining Xiao Yuan’s reputation every time? Who wants that kind of obsessive fixation?

——Please, I’m pleading with you, don’t do bad things to my 'wife'. I’m really scared of you guys.

——I don’t like hearing that. Is a Husband Fan’s love for Xiao Yuan inferior? If you ask me, you’re the ones who don’t truly like him.

——All you do is ship Xiao Yuan with other Alphas. Have you considered how Xiao Yuan feels? Have you considered if he can take it? You don’t really like him—if you loved him, you’d worry about his health.

——One is bad enough, but you ship him with five? You keep writing fanfics about their pairings—have you really thought about how he feels? Or whether his appetite can handle it? Especially since Bao Jin is mixed-race, and mixed-race guys are well-endowed. You write fics and ship them—are you trying to stretch Xiao Yuan too much?

——You don’t care about Yuan at all.

——A rough ride is better than a tiny snack. [facepalm]

——Can something so small even satisfy my ○? My ○ is S-tier too; an average Alpha can’t satisfy him, okay.

——True, this brother is right—I have to give a like. I really don’t get you guys shipping Xiao Yuan and Bao Jin. Bao Jin has foreign blood—he’s a foreigner. Shipping them makes you traitors! Walking 500,000 (potential traitors)! Disgraceful betrayers, spies!!! Don’t do things that make us look down on you, and don’t betray our country!

——Damn, the Dream Alphas are really mad!

——Why are you so mad? Is it because you’re not as big as Brother Huo? [laughing-crying]

——Oh my god, I can’t handle this. How can someone get so triggered because Brother Huo is mixed-race and too big that they try to stop us from shipping Brother Huo and Xiao Yuan? [facepalm]

——LS spitting facts—they shut right up, lol. Watch out, he might track you down through your IP.

——Better than coming through the internet to have sex with Yuan. He can beat me if he wants. [facepalm]

——Last time I’ll say this: Xiao Yuan is just following company protocols—every artist does this. I understand him; it’s part of his work. But please separate reality from fiction—they have no real relationship, they’re just colleagues. Don’t taint Xiao Yuan with your dirty, perverted minds.

——Hide the self-insert fics in your favorites first before talking.

——Except for ysy, all the other Alphas in Scepter are shameless clout-chasers!! Trash!!

——Another one gone crazy.

——Dream Alphas going insane from unrequited love—understandable.

——Disclaimer: I’m not a Dream Alpha for Xiao Yuan, just a regular true fan. But I really can’t stand other Dream Alphas shoving their fantasies in our faces. Didn’t the super topic ban Dream Alphas? If you want to dream, do it in your own section. Why are so many ignorant Alphas forcing it here? Shield again: I’m really not a Dream Alpha.

——Do you think saying that will make anyone notice you more?

——Do you think acting all considerate and unique will make Xiao Yuan DM you? Get lost.

——A hopeless mutt who can’t hide his intentions.

——You think you’re his husband, ordering Husband Fans around? Keep yapping and you'll get banned. Get lost.

——You people are really toxic and rude. I’m just speaking fairly, okay? No other meaning—just worried about Xiao Yuan. Meanwhile, you’re cursing me out. Just because I care about Xiao Yuan?

——Fierce infighting among Dream Alphas. [watching]

——Stop fighting, stop fighting—this won’t kill anyone.

——Yeah, Husband Fans and Wife Fans, let’s coexist peacefully. Xiao Yuan wouldn’t want to see us like this. Here’s a photo of me and my Xiao Yuan. [commissioned dream art]

——Damn, beauty and the beast—I’m really getting mad.

——Please, Dream Alphas, stop this… You can fool your buddies, but don’t fool yourselves.

——Ugh, I really need to rinse my eyes. Where are the Yuan exclusive fans? Usually so fierce—where are they now? Can we just purge all these Dream Alphas and neuter them?

——Oh my god, I checked his profile—he has the Dream Alpha classic “Washing Face with Pussy Water” favorited.

——I need eye bleach too, damn, that’s vulgar.

——Their profiles are full of posts cursing those S-tier guys, but who doesn’t want to be them? Heh, I wish I could switch places with them.

——Yeah. ○ has such a noticeable size difference with them—they could lift him with one hand. My poor wife, his feet can’t even touch the ground, needs help even to use the bathroom. [crying x2]

——Huh? Why did the Dream Alphas go quiet? o, o?

——They went back to their main forum. The magazine pre-order is starting soon—they’re rallying Husband Fans to go crazy.

——Post a screenshot of them lurking. [screenshot]

User: Grow old together with Yuanbao.

Post: Less than twenty minutes until the magazine goes on sale, is everyone ready?

1L: If you like Xiao Yuan, you have to spend money on him—every penny adds to his clout! If you want to see him get more opportunities, you have to spend money on him! And as for his teammates, I don’t even want to talk about them—they still rely on us Husband Fans! Let’s get pumped, chip in together! We must boost his sales through the roof!! Surpass Necro Boy Band and show the industry bosses Xiao Yuan’s value!!

2L: I’m going all in! I’ve hired ten people to buy for me and even mobilized my entire company’s staff, all ready to snag copies. If those idiots from Necro dare to bully my wife, and I don’t blow their sales out of the water, I don’t deserve to call myself Xiao Yuan’s husband.

—Wait, huh? I just noticed you’re following a Super Topic with tons of Yuan’s photos. Is this a new fan space for Yuan?

—Huh?? Why aren’t you saying anything?

—Maybe they went to grab the magazine? I’m about to go grab it too—it’s going on sale soon.

—What? This is a Yuan hate forum? No offense, but why does this Yuan hate forum feel like a closet fan space? What are you guys posting every day?

"Screenshot 1" Title: How can an Alpha have such long, fair legs? Like a princess.

Reply: Yeah, zero Alpha vibe at all. Is there an original version? This one’s low-quality and blurry.

"Screenshot 2" Title: Damn, he’s actually wearing a boyfriend-fit white shirt? Isn’t this just trying to seduce me? [sweat][fire]

"Screenshot 3" Title: He’s worn a maid costume, next time can he try a sailor outfit? I want to see that.

—?

—What’s the deal with this forum? I’m speechless, why is everyone simping for Yuan? Feels even scarier than the Alpha fanfiction section.

—I checked their profiles—lots of gorgeous pics of Yuan, many I don’t even have myself. No idea where they got them.

—Oh shit, oh shit, the official site shows the countdown!! Everyone hurry!! The first 10,000 buyers get special merch, I have to get it!!

—OMG, I’m so nervous!!

Ten minutes later.

An anonymous forum.

Title: "Brothers, lay low, we almost got exposed."

1L

Just checking out Yuan’s forum and almost got caught by Yuan fans. Luckily, I got out fast. Otherwise, they’d have found out we’ve been trashing Yuan all along.

2L

Huh? Isn’t this a Yuan fan forum?

3L

Who told you this is a fan forum? We’re antis, okay?

4L

Then how did you get such a high level in Yuan’s Super Topic??

5L

That’s called going undercover.

6L

Wait, hold up—I just noticed, why do so many users here have high levels in Yuan’s Super Topic?

7L

You don’t get it. If I hadn’t sneaked in, how would I have gotten so many great photos of Yuan? You have no idea how rare this profile pic is—I had to beg a big fan in DMs for ages before they sent it to me. As soon as I got it, I slapped a watermark on it to prevent theft.

8L

This profile pic is really beautiful. All that begging was worth it, bro, worth it. [thumbs up]

9L

Why is Yuan so hot? He’s an Alpha, is that normal?

10L

Not really, but he’s just that good-looking.

11L

The forum has a lot of people online, so why are there so few posts?

…

20L

Hehe, the OP is back. Check out what I got. [Screenshot of 1,000 copies of the magazine bought on the official site] [smug]

21L

? You went and bought Yuan’s magazine? I thought you said you were an anti.

22L

I am an anti.

23L

Then why did you…?

24L

Only the first 10,000 buyers get limited merch. Of course I had to make sure I was in the top 10,000, so I waited on the site.

25L

No, I mean why did you even buy it? Aren’t you an anti?

26L

Haven’t you seen his forum? Lots of fans there can’t get copies and are begging for resale offers. I’m proving that Yuan’s fans are incompetent—even I, an anti, managed to grab 1,000 copies no problem and made it into the top 10,000.

27L

Uh.

28L

How many did you say you bought?

29L

One thousand copies. I originally just wanted to buy a hundred as a gesture, but I accidentally typed an extra zero.

30L

Are you sure you're an O hater? I feel like you're actually a die-hard fan of O. Otherwise, why would you support his sales?

31L

You don't get it. I've got my own strategy. I'm not supporting his sales at all. I'm just buying the magazines to scope out the enemy.

32L

But I did buy a bit too much this time. I also got a lot of small merch.

33L

Oh well, I'll just put them in my other place. But having a big house isn't great either—it needs a wife. Wonder who would be worthy? (I'm an A, 186cm, 20 years old, 20cm, orientation A.)

34L

Stop bragging, get lost.

...

O Fan Forum.

Title: "Ahhhh did everyone manage to get a copy!?"

1L: I barely scraped into the top 10,000, I was so scared my hands were shaking!! Thank goodness I made it, or I wouldn't have been able to sleep tonight!! But everyone's click speed is insane—I even used a massage gun to make sure I didn't get left out. TAT

—Got it, got it! So happy, I got the limited merch too! [Order screenshot]

—The merch is so adorable it's to die for! There's a Xiao Yuan keychain and a small figure!

—Wow, within a minute of sales starting, the numbers easily surpassed our rivals. Go easy, everyone—after all, it's Xiao Yuan's former teammate! (Just kidding, don't hold back at all!) [facepalm][smirk]

—Sorry (not sorry) we outsold you guys. [smirk]

—Huh? Where's Brother Snake? He used to lose his mind even if O just smiled at a company security guard. Why hasn't he said anything after the livestream incident?

—Brother Snake has been unusually quiet lately.

—What, is he shedding his skin or something?

—Brother Snake set his profile to "posts visible for only three days." No idea what happened, but it seems like he's really heartbroken this time. Good thing I screenshotted everything quickly.

—Let's invite O’s top Dream A, Brother Snake, to deliver an important speech. [microphone]

—[Brother Snake's posts]

"Screenshot 1"

S: I hate you.

S: I hate you so much.

"Screenshot 2"

S: You're always like this.

S: Everyone else matters more than me.

"Screenshot 3"

S: Enough.

S: That's it.

—Damn, is Brother Snake really so heartbroken he's leaving the fandom? His profile picture is pure black now, and his bio is just a ".".

—Really? Is he serious this time?

—LMAO. A Dream A in despair.

—You're overthinking it. Honestly, I don't believe Brother Snake would leave. He's obsessed with O. [facepalm]

—But he does seem really emo lately, so he commissioned a lot of fan art. All of O wearing various dresses, still in Brother Snake's usual style—big-eyed, cute girl aesthetic.

—Hehe, Brother Snake posted one before (deleted it instantly, but I saved it!!). It was super, super cute—a drawing of little O curled up like a shrimp sleeping in bed, holding a small figure. Made my heart melt.

—But Brother Snake hasn't said anything these past few days. This is O’s first magazine—wonder if he bought it.

—Hard to say. Brother Snake has always avoided other stans; he doesn't interact with other Dream As. Even though the magazine photos of O are gorgeous, there are a lot of his teammates in it too.

—No need to guess anymore—Brother Snake just updated.

—Screenshot please!!!

—I've got you covered. [beckoning][screenshot]

User S: Hehe. [Screenshot of 10,000 magazine orders]

—...

—I can't even.

—I'm laughing my ass off...

—Can you act all high and mighty again like you did before?

—"Enough." "That's it."

—"Hehe."

—I have a feeling Brother Snake is about to get a new nickname: "Hehe Bro." Hehe Bro, with a deadpan face, full of despair, pushing magazine sales to a million. [facepalm]

—If only life could stay as it was at first sight—I still prefer Brother Snake's tough-talker persona. [smirk]

—Brother Snake's mouth is indeed tough. He always says he hates O, but he never misses a merch drop or fan art commission. And for some reason, he's obsessed with dressing O in skirts—all the figurines he makes have O in skirts.

—Anyway, at least Brother Snake lived up to his title as the original Dream A this time. Not bad—as long as he supports Xiao Yuan's magazine sales, it's all good. [thumbs up]

—Brother Snake doesn't see this as helping O, though. [screenshot]

Anon: Didn't you say you were leaving? Back to being Princess Yuanyuan's dog again? Admit it, Brother Snake—you're head over heels for O.

S replied: I like him? As if! I hate his guts, okay? I hate him the most.

Bystander: Hating him so much that you spent a million to support his magazine sales? [facepalm] [covering face]

S replied: I'm doing this to get revenge on him.

Bystander: ?? Revenge? With over a million?

S replied: Making sure his real fans can't buy his magazine—isn't that a form of revenge?

—Huh? For real?

—This girl is literally about to die laughing.

—Watching fawning fans on forums is like spotting cockroaches under a lamp—the more you look, the more disheartened you feel.

—Brother Snake: I hate you, I hate you to death, I'll never forgive you! So Xiao Yuan, let's get married tomorrow QVQ.

—Totally in character. [thumbs up]

—But Brother Snake bought ten thousand copies outright? That's seriously impressive. It seems like he wanted to buy even more, but he bought out the platform, so they have to restock.

—Going to such lengths truly sets the dream fanboy standard.

—After all, even if Xiao Yuan were to die, he'd die a happy fan.

—Wait, what the hell? We only chatted for a few minutes, and now every platform is sold out?!

—Not just the magazine... even the UN official website crashed and is completely inaccessible!! A lot of people rushed to offline stores, and the mall was completely overcrowded... [crowded.jpg]

—No! No! I was planning to buy more!! How is it already sold out?!

—It's no use, this restock round is already over. I couldn't even get one from scalpers—I have to wait for the next round!!

—Folks, check the secondary market platforms, they might still have some!!

—Damn, I hesitated for just a second, and even the secondary market platforms are out of stock. [sobbing uncontrollably]

—@UN @daystar magazine, hurry up and restock!! Don't you want to make money?!

—Wait, aren't ○ fans' spending power insanely strong? It's only been that long, and the magazine sales are literally ranked third on the e-commerce platform...

—You haven't refreshed, have you? From what I see, it's showing as second.

—Oh, let me refresh.

—Holy shit... it's number one!!!