Chapter 53 Defeating Your Past Self

Chapter 53: Conquering One's Past Self

The news of Huai Jun's arrival sent a shiver through Huai Fu. Lin Juangui patted his back, reassuring him, "Don't be afraid."

Huai Fu took a deep breath, as if steeling himself. "I understand."

When Lin Juangui descended the stairs, Huai Jun was still in the living room. He glanced past Lin Juangui, and seeing Huai Fu wasn't with him, his hopeful expression twisted into a bitter smile. "He refuses to see me."

"Please, have a seat. You must be exhausted from your journey and haven't even had a drink. You're too eager."

The butler brought tea. Huai Jun sank onto the sofa, looking anxious and worn.

Lin Juangui observed him. "Huai Fu is quite frightened of you. What did you do to make him so averse?"

Huai Jun had expected Lin Juangui to side with Huai Fu and scold him, but instead, he was surprisingly calm.

*No wonder he achieved such a rapid rise in status as an Omega within a single year,* Huai Jun thought. Realizing Lin Juangui's objective was problem-solving, not emotional venting, he gradually relaxed.

"Xiao Fu and I aren't biological brothers. I love him. Our parents' death... was partly my fault, but I wasn't solely responsible. I've been unfairly blamed. Xiao Fu and I have a pheromone compatibility of over 95%. He can't refuse me, and I can't let him go."

Lin Juangui had encountered numerous sibling relationship dramas over the years, each with its unique sorrows.

Some were meticulously protected by their parents, while others were entirely neglected. Living in relatively isolated environments, unable to express emotions externally, they turned inward.

Among these, some found deep love, while others became bitter enemies. It remained to be seen which category Huai Jun and Huai Fu would fall into.

Still not getting to the core issue, Lin Juangui feigned confusion. "Haven't you considered sitting down for a proper talk with him? Brothers shouldn't hold grudges overnight. How did you scare him so badly that he sought my help?"

An uncomfortable flicker crossed Huai Jun's face. "I've tried, but every time I bring it up, he covers his ears and says I've changed. He asks why I can't treat him like before, why I'm forcing him."

Their communication was clearly flawed. Huai Jun craved an emotional response from Huai Fu, but Huai Fu was utterly unable to accept the shift in their relationship and could only vent his frustration, unable to articulate his own feelings.

"So... why?" Lin Juangui gazed intently at Huai Jun. "He's still so young. You could take it slowly, subtly guiding him to accept you. If you only desire him because of your pheromone compatibility, ignoring his inner feelings, are you truly seeking a brother, or merely a vessel for pheromones that satisfies you?"

Lin Juangui's words were sharp. Huai Jun's Adam's apple bobbed, as if he didn't know how to respond.

Seeing Huai Jun's silence, Lin Juangui offered an apologetic smile. "I know I shouldn't interfere too much, but Huai Fu is my friend. He seems to have been tormented by your relationship for an entire semester. I suggested he see a psychologist, though I'm not sure if he went. If possible, I hope he won't be distressed by these matters anymore. A child his age should be enjoying his studies and life. Don't you agree?"

If Huai Jun was the reincarnated one, his obsession was painfully clear: he wanted Huai Fu to accept and bravely confront their relationship with him.

But how much had Huai Fu truly experienced? How could a child with such limited life experience navigate such a complex relationship? Huai Jun was pushing too hard, and Huai Fu couldn't bear it.

Ultimately, Huai Jun left, promising to give Huai Fu some time to think. "Thank you for your trouble during this period. I'm relieved he has a friend like you. Please continue to look after Huai Fu in the future."

"Huai Fu stood by me when I needed help. This is simply what I should do; no thanks are necessary."

After Huai Jun departed, Huai Fu, who had been hidden in the second-floor corridor, slowly sank to the floor, clutching his head, his thoughts a jumble.

Huai Jun's words echoed in his mind: *He said he wasn't solely responsible for our parents' death. Does that mean all these years of resisting him have been my own doing?*

When Lin Juangui went upstairs, he found Huai Fu huddled in a ball. He knelt to comfort him. "Huai Jun is gone. He's willing to give you space."

"Thank you, Juangui."

Huai Fu lowered his hands, looking utterly drained. "I... need some time alone to think. Please go take care of your own things, okay?"

Huai Fu needed solitude at that moment. Lin Juangui nodded, not pressing the issue, and helped him back to his bedroom.

After closing Huai Fu's door, Lin Juangui turned to [Lin Juangui] standing in the corridor. "Who do you think the reincarnated one is?"

[Lin Juangui] still wore a look of innocent bewilderment. He tilted his head, attempting an answer: "Huai Jun?"

Initially, Lin Juangui had thought the same. The term "obsession" fit Huai Jun well—he was too fixated on Huai Fu, and his inability to possess him had driven him to such depths.

But Huai Jun wasn't so deranged that he couldn't live without seeing Huai Fu. At least, he appeared rational in front of Lin Juangui and was willing to grant Huai Fu some time.

Still, the possibility of Huai Jun being an excellent actor couldn't be ruled out. Lin Juangui could tell Huai Jun was a calculating individual, so he couldn't make an immediate judgment.

The next day, Lin Juangui visited Huo Zeshen in the hospital.

Upon arriving at the hospital room, the guard informed him that the director of Yixin Welfare Home was inside.

The door to the room wasn't fully shut, allowing Lin Juangui to clearly overhear the conversation within.

Wen Rui had naturally come to visit after hearing about Huo Zeshen's injury. She was overjoyed to learn that Huo Zeshen had been accepted into the Federation's top-ranked military high school.

Of all the children she had overseen, Huo Zeshen was the most promising. Although many believed Huo Zeshen had benefited from Lin Juangui's influence, Huo Zeshen's own pheromones were potent, and he was destined for great achievements.

After a brief exchange of pleasantries, Wen Rui began hinting that Huo Zeshen should ask Lin Juangui to help the welfare home establish connections with prestigious schools. That way, the other children from the home could also secure promising futures.

Huo Zeshen remained silent. He understood many things but rarely revealed his thoughts. Only in Lin Juangui's presence would Huo Zeshen show a more lively side; otherwise, he was almost always distant and aloof.

Seeing Huo Zeshen's lack of response, Wen Rui sighed deeply. "You can't be so selfish. Now that you've soared to success, are you just going to abandon the family who grew up with you?"

Family?

Huo Zeshen felt a flicker of confusion.

At the welfare home, he had been severely ostracized because of Cai Yu. Wen Rui always claimed to be too busy to intervene, yet during meals, she constantly instilled in the children the idea that they were all family and should love each other.

Slogans without action were meaningless. Huo Zeshen only returned to the welfare home during holidays because he was a minor with no other home, and the teachers showed him affection only because of Lin Juangui.

Such was the harsh reality that continuously shaped Huo Zeshen.

Huo Zeshen didn't want to utter sharp, unpleasant words to Wen Rui, but if he didn't step in and resolve this, it would only cause Lin Juangui difficulty.

Lin Juangui already had his hands full with Huo Zeshen alone. If he had to carry the entire welfare home on his shoulders, Huo Zeshen couldn't imagine how exhausted Lin Juangui would become.

Whether out of selfishness or a noble excuse to protect Lin Juangui, Huo Zeshen could not agree to the director's request.

"Have you said this to every child who left the welfare home?"

"..."

Wen Rui pursed her lips guiltily. Not everyone was as useful to the welfare home as Huo Zeshen. Most were simply struggling to make a living.

"Xiao Huo, I don't know how to persuade you. Shouldn't you at least remember the kindness the welfare home showed you?"

Human hearts are inherently selfish. Regardless of the motive, everyone has their own logically sound reasons.

Wen Rui simply felt that Huo Zeshen was ungrateful, failing to fulfill her benevolent desire to help all the children.

Silence fell in the room. Lin Juangui chose that moment to push open the door and enter.

Upon seeing Lin Juangui, a look of pleasant surprise flashed across Wen Rui's face. She rose and smiled at him. "Mr. Lin, I rushed over as soon as I heard about Xiao Huo's injury. It's wonderful that he got into a high school on the Federal Central Star! If only all the children at the welfare home had such good fortune!"

Lin Juangui curved his lips, his polite smile evident. "Military school is a cutthroat environment. He's already broken his leg during the entrance exam. That's a kind of luck most people wouldn't wish for. It truly pains me to see him like this."

A flicker of embarrassment crossed Wen Rui's face. She continued stiffly, "I see Xiao Huo is quite comfortable here. The nurses say he's working hard on his rehabilitation and will be back on his feet in no time."

Lin Juangui didn't want Huo Zeshen to witness the adults' insincere pleasantries. After tidying Huo Zeshen's hair, he turned to Wen Rui. "Director Wen, it's rare for you to find time to visit Xiao Shen. The children at the welfare home must miss you terribly. They would surely be anxious if they found you gone. Let me see you out."

Wen Rui glanced at Huo Zeshen, unsure if Lin Juangui's words were a compliment or a dismissal. After urging Huo Zeshen to take care, she left the ward.

As they reached the elevator, Wen Rui gently took Lin Juangui's arm, as if trying to forge a connection.

Could Huo Zeshen really have said that? Lin Juangui found it hard to believe.

When Huo Zeshen was with Lin Juangui, he practically glued his eyes to him. Aside from matters related to Lin Juangui, he rarely mentioned anything else, as if he wanted to monopolize all of Lin Juangui's attention.

Wen Rui's words did hold some truth, but if she had spoken to Lin Juangui directly instead of using Huo Zeshen's name to achieve her goal, Lin Juangui might actually have considered it.

Lin Juangui subtly shifted away, declining Wen Rui's touch. He pressed the elevator button, his polite smile still in place. "As the director of the welfare home, you care for every child. If any child truly possesses the aptitude for a military academy, I will spare no effort to assist them."

His meaning was clear: it depended on the children's individual abilities—he wasn't the type to offer unconditional help.

Wen Rui faintly sensed Lin Juangui's refusal. She sighed softly, as if realizing she couldn't force the matter. "Everyone has their own destiny. All I can do is raise them; they must walk their own paths."

Lin Juangui smiled in agreement. "Yes, what you're doing is truly remarkable."

After seeing the director off, Lin Juangui returned to Huo Zeshen's ward. Huo Zeshen was lying on the bed, lost in thought, unconsciously biting his nails.

Noticing Lin Juangui enter, he quickly lowered his hand, a trace of worry flashing across his face before he forced a smile. "Did the director... say anything to you?"

Lin Juangui pulled a chair to Huo Zeshen's bedside. "What do you think she would say?"

Huo Zeshen lowered his eyelashes. "I..."

In front of Lin Juangui, Huo Zeshen always seemed somewhat insecure. He didn't know what the director might have said, but no matter what, he hoped Lin Juangui wouldn't exhaust himself over his affairs.

Lin Juangui picked up an apple and a fruit knife from the bedside table. As he peeled the apple, he said to Huo Zeshen, "I don't monitor you 24/7. If you don't tell me many things, of course I won't know. You always seem to like being so hard on yourself, but self-pity won't bring any good results. Since you're going to a military academy, what you need to learn from now on is how to fight—to use your strength and fists to show those who look down on you what happens when they cross you."

Lin Juangui finished peeling the apple quickly but didn't hand it to Huo Zeshen. Instead, he took a bite himself.

Seeing Huo Zeshen's stunned and surprised expression, Lin Juangui wore a rare, bold smile. "If you want to eat, peel one yourself. You're going to grow up eventually. When facing tough challenges, you have to try handling them yourself. Many things can't be avoided by running away. Fate will repeatedly bring back your pain until you can completely overcome it."

Huo Zeshen stared at Lin Juangui's face for a long time, until Lin Juangui tossed the apple core into the trash.

"Brother, I can't fight yet. I have so few precious things as it is, and it seems they can be taken away so easily. I'm always afraid... that he will leave me."

Lin Juangui took a wet wipe and lowered his head to clean his hands, a faint smile on his lips. "What's yours is yours; no one can take it. Even if it isn't yours for now, you have the ability to make it yours. You have to believe in your own capability."

How could Lin Juangui not understand Huo Zeshen's underlying meaning? But Huo Zeshen had nothing now; he was fated to lose what he cherished.

Growth is a harsh and arduous path. Many people will cross paths with Huo Zeshen, leaving marks on his life or passing by briefly.

His world couldn't revolve solely around Lin Juangui forever—otherwise, how would he grow up?

When Lin Juangui looked up, he saw the young man's tear-streaked face. He quickly asked Huo Zeshen what was wrong. Huo Zeshen shook his head, wiping away his tears with the back of his hand.

For some reason, Huo Zeshen had a feeling that Lin Juangui was about to leave him. The feeling was subtle. Even though Lin Juangui still smiled at him tenderly, Huo Zeshen had this premonition in his heart.

He couldn't tell Lin Juangui, nor could he convey his inner anxiety. He could only wait, like a condemned prisoner awaiting sentencing, for Lin Juangui's judgment.

Huo Zeshen felt powerless against it all.

Lin Juangui noticed that recently, everyone around him seemed to be crying, and he wasn't good at comforting others. He could only step forward and hold Huo Zeshen in his arms. "Cry if you need to. You don't always have to be strong."

The adult version of Huo Zeshen was always reliable in front of Lin Juangui, steady and dependable in everything he did, as if there was nothing he couldn't accomplish.

Initially, the young man's sensitivity and fragility took Lin Juangui by surprise. But perhaps it was due to what Mu Zhang called "doting"—Lin Juangui felt that whatever Huo Zeshen did was fine, and even his tearful state was pretty cute.

Lin Juangui's vocabulary for describing Huo Zeshen seemed limited, but to him, "adorable" was the highest praise.

No one else would willingly let Lin Juangui accept them entirely, flaws and all, like Huo Zeshen did.

Huo Zeshen's healing ability was remarkable.

Originally, it was thought his leg would take two to three months to fully recover, but his bones had mostly healed in about seven days. He spent another half-month on rehabilitation training.

Lin Juangui found it incredible, but he was mostly just happy.

This way, Huo Zeshen wouldn't be seen as an outsider for starting school late. Lin Juangui felt relieved that he could have a smooth entry into school.

Given Wen Rui's previous behavior, Lin Juangui asked Huo Zeshen what he wanted to do: if he didn't want to return to the welfare home during breaks, he could stay on the Federal Central Star.

"I'll rent an apartment for you then. You can start learning to take care of yourself independently."

But Huo Zeshen refused. "I'd still prefer to stay at the welfare home more often."

Although Huo Zeshen didn't interact much with the other children at the welfare home, he often went to sit quietly under the tree on the back hill. That place held precious memories of him and Lin Juangui, and thinking about it always made him happy.

Lin Juangui didn't insist that Huo Zeshen follow his arrangements. Seeing that Huo Zeshen had his own thoughts, he simply nodded and gave him some tips for school.

Huo Zeshen listened attentively and didn't forget to thank Lin Juangui. "Brother, you're the only one who would tell me all this."

Recalling his own childhood experiences, Huo Zeshen instinctively lowered his head. "What I did most when I was younger was weeding, fertilizing the fields, cooking, and cleaning. They had many things to do, so they couldn't visit often, and they never told me to study hard or focus on learning."

This was the first time Huo Zeshen had shared details of his past with Lin Juangui. Lin Juangui listened carefully and comforted him, "It's alright. From now on, you can think of me as family too."

"...Okay."

Being considered family by Lin Juangui was already more than enough for Huo Zeshen.

Even though he wanted much, much more.

What Lin Juangui gave Huo Zeshen wasn't just simple help. Others had used and deceived Huo Zeshen; they didn't treat him as human. But Lin Juangui did his best to give Huo Zeshen a path to a decent life.

So Huo Zeshen would strive to suppress his overwhelming emotions—at the very least, he couldn't cause any trouble for Lin Juangui.

After being discharged, Huo Zeshen continued to study diligently. He knew he couldn't slack off. Attending high school on the Federal Central Star was only the first step. Later, he needed to get into a top-tier military academy to live up to Lin Juangui's care and guidance.

Huo Zeshen's recovery lifted a great weight off Lin Juangui's mind. Meanwhile, Huai Fu had been taken home by Huai Jun.

Huai Fu couldn't stay upset forever. It wasn't that he had come to terms with things, but he was tired and didn't want to dwell on the matter anymore.

Huai Fu knew he wasn't mature enough yet. His life seemed perpetually overshadowed by his brother, impossible to escape.

But after careful consideration, he decided to have a proper talk with Huai Jun, so he called him.

Huai Jun's first words were, "Baby, have you been happy these past few days?"

Huai Fu's lips trembled. He forced himself to stay calm. "You know why I left home, Huai Jun. I've always seen you as my brother."

"Is that so? But were you really unconscious during your heat? Didn't you know it was me you were kissing?"

Huai Jun's insistent questioning made Huai Fu feel completely mortified.

How could he not know? It was precisely because he knew that he felt too embarrassed to face anyone.

Huai Fu could no longer let Huai Jun push him around. He had thought things through clearly before—now was not the time to retreat. He had to get his real feelings out to Huai Jun.

"Huai Jun, cut the word games. I admit I can't resist your pheromones, but that doesn’t give you the right to threaten me. Listen carefully: right now, I absolutely cannot accept having a more intimate relationship with you. If you want me to suffer endlessly, just keep pushing me—until you push me over the edge."

Huai Jun fell silent for a moment, then let out a helpless sigh. "Did you learn this trick from Lin Juangui? Making me choose between options? I have to admit it’s effective. But, baby, I just want to hear you say you love me. Is that so hard?"

Huai Fu had been doted on since birth. Even if their parents tried to treat them equally, they inevitably favored their biological son more.

Huai Jun didn’t really mind these things, because Huai Fu was really cute. The first word he learned to say wasn't "Mom" or "Dad," but "Gege," meaning big brother.

Huai Jun had watched Huai Fu grow up, and he truly adored him—so much so that he would even die for him.

But Huai Fu would never understand.

This ungrateful little one only wanted to recklessly enjoy his affection without taking any responsibility. Since when does that kind of deal exist in this world?

Yet whenever Huai Fu made a request, Huai Jun found himself unable to refuse. Instead, he felt relieved.

His baby had finally learned to speak his mind instead of just avoiding the issue.

So, after once again failing to get a response from Huai Fu, Huai Jun gave in. "Give me a deadline then. Can’t you at least give me a bit of hope? I will always be your brother—that’s something you can never erase. If you’re willing, I can also play the role of lover, partner, or husband in your life. Or do you really want to throw away your brother, Huai Fu?"

Huai Fu bit his lip, holding back tears.

No matter how much he resented Huai Jun, he had never considered abandoning his brother.

Huai Jun knew Huai Fu was soft-hearted, so he didn't give him any space. The power to control their relationship had always been in Huai Fu’s hands, but he was unwilling to use it.

In the end, Huai Fu asked Huai Jun for a three-year deadline. Huai Jun was quiet for what felt like ages but eventually agreed.

"Come back home. It’s too cold without you."

"Yeah."

When Lin Juangui learned about this, he wasn’t particularly surprised. Familial ties are the toughest knots to untangle in the world, and what Huai Fu was experiencing was even more complex. If he couldn’t work it out, he would only trap himself further.

Fortunately, Huai Jun was willing to give him time. Otherwise, the two might have remained resentful forever.

So, did this mean Lin Juangui’s side quest was complete? There was no news from the system. It said there was no movement on its end, and Lin Juangui barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes—but he restrained himself. It wasn't good for his eyes.

Lin Juangui took off his glasses and gently pressed his fingertips to the corners of his eyes, his frustration clear on his face.

Oh well. The emotional issues between those two couldn’t be resolved in a day or two. This was a long-term side quest, and Lin Juangui would just have to keep tabs on it going forward.

On the day Huo Zeshen left for the Federal Central Star to start school, Lin Juangui also had to report to Cloud Harbor Star. But he still went out of his way to see Huo Zeshen off.

For the occasion, Lin Juangui wore a very formal suit. Though he didn’t wear a tie, it was enough to show how important he considered Huo Zeshen’s enrollment.

The weather was beautiful that day, and new students crowded the school entrance.

To others, Lin Juangui didn’t look much older than Huo Zeshen. But he had a strong presence—he carried an innate air of pride, though his smile softened it, making him seem quite approachable.

Lin Juangui straightened Huo Zeshen’s uniform collar and spoke calmly, "I’ve already said everything I needed to say. I won’t nag you today. Wishing you a happy enrollment and smooth sailing in everything."

This was all Lin Juangui could do. From here on out, Huo Zeshen would have to make his own way.

Huo Zeshen’s eyes reddened. His fingers twitched as if restraining himself, but in the end, he couldn’t help but reach out and hug Lin Juangui tightly.

Held in Huo Zeshen’s arms, Lin Juangui felt almost delicate.

Huo Zeshen didn’t allow himself to linger too long. He quickly released Lin Juangui, took a deep breath, and said, "Brother, I will overcome my past self."

The boy turned away with determination. Lin Juangui, standing where he was, smiled wistfully.

Go on and forge your path. No matter how far you go, Lin Juangui will be watching.