Chapter 94 Xiao Juan

Chapter 94 Xiao Juan

Lin Juangui said "I like you" so readily that Huo Zeshen seemed a bit slow to react.

Whether out of sheer happiness or something else, Huo Zeshen murmured softly, "Gege."

This time, it was Lin Juangui's turn to be at a loss for how to respond. In his memory, Huo Zeshen rarely called him that, only during certain special moments when Lin Juangui would encourage it to spice things up.

Huo Zeshen had been somewhat reluctant back then. Lin Juangui could see the usually steady and reliable doctor wearing an expression that could almost be described as a childish sulk. "You're only a few years older than me. I won't call you that."

Lin Juangui loved to tease him. He deliberately feigned curiosity and asked Huo Zeshen, "Why not? I think it's fun. It makes me feel... respected by you."

"Do you think I don't respect you enough normally?" Huo Zeshen held Lin Juangui's ankle, his thumb meticulously stroking the smooth skin. As if remembering something, he looked up with a light laugh. "How does Gege want me to respect you?"

He rarely showed such an aggressive side in front of Lin Juangui. Looking down at him, even lifting one of his legs to fold it upward, Lin Juangui was left speechless. He only remembered the wet, overwhelming waves crashing against him again and again. He felt exhausted, and after that, he remembered nothing.

During that hotel reunion, when Lin Juangui accidentally fell down the stairs, he had also heard Huo Zeshen call him "Gege." Later, Huo Zeshen either used Lin Juangui's full name or distantly addressed him as "Mr. Lin."

Although Lin Juangui had long since stopped caring much about forms of address, Huo Zeshen had called him that for so many years that Lin Juangui had grown accustomed to it. Once he realized Huo Zeshen would never again use the nickname he had given Lin Juangui, he couldn't help but feel sad.

The memory flashed through his mind. In front of Huo Zeshen, Lin Juangui remained calm, gentle, and no different from usual. He responded to Huo Zeshen, who then called out several more times in succession.

"Gege."

"Hmm."

"Gege."

"Hmm?"

"Can you give me a name that only I can call you?"

"..." Lin Juangui's heart suddenly raced. The moment felt like an echo of the past. As if to verify something, he gave Huo Zeshen the right to choose. "Since it's a name you'll call me, of course you should choose it."

Huo Zeshen smiled sincerely, the corners of his eyes crinkling. After gazing intently for a moment, he suddenly called out, "Xiao Juan."

Lin Juangui slowly let out a sigh of relief. Besides the rush of emotion, what filled his heart now was mostly a sense of comfort.

Initially, he had misunderstood, thinking this Huo Zeshen was not the same person as the Huo Zeshen he loved, and tried to distinguish them in his heart. But every experience after spending time with Huo Zeshen confirmed the absurd suspicion in Lin Juangui's mind.

The Huo Zeshen he met the first time might have already known him for a long time.

Whether it was the perfectly-timed closeness, the tolerance and care in every way after they started dating, the various small habits in daily life, or the mysterious obsession toward the flesh on the back of his neck.

Lin Juangui was completely at peace now. When Huo Zeshen turned back to look at him, he reached out, cupped the other's face, and asked, "How did you come up with this name? Do you see me as that cute?"

"It's beautiful."

Although this beauty was as fragile as a mirror, the shard of mirror Lin Juangui gave him was enough to support Huo Zeshen until now.

During university, Huo Zeshen read many books. He wasn't at the level of having a photographic memory, but Lin Juangui's name left a deep impression on him. So when he saw the line of poetry, "The weary bird returns to the forest at dusk," he immediately thought of Lin Juangui.

Before, Huo Zeshen didn't understand the meaning behind Lin Juangui's name. He just thought it sounded nice. Later, with his superficial understanding, he even thought it meant a lazy bird in the forest not wanting to go home. Thankfully, he never said this in front of Lin Juangui, or it would have surely been a joke.

"Juan" came from a radical in Lin Juangui's name. Huo Zeshen hoped Lin Juangui could be as free as a little bird. However, reality was difficult. Huo Zeshen could only work harder, waiting for the day when he could completely clear away those obstacles.

Huo Zeshen's high praise was redemption for Lin Juangui. From childhood, he hadn't experienced much genuine love. Fan Meiyi seemed good to him, having sacrificed everything to raise him, but in reality, she was just a despicable human trafficker who had abducted Lin Juangui from south to north.

To this day, the police haven't investigated why Fan Meiyi did this. The only explanation is that she might have suffered from a mental illness.

Lin Juangui didn't blame fate. He knew he had deficiencies, both in heart and body. He could never marry and have children like a normal person. After seeing this clearly, he chose to live alone, pouring his energy into work. Over the years, he hadn't felt particularly lonely.

Until Huo Zeshen appeared in Lin Juangui's life.

He was a brilliant light, illuminating Lin Juangui, who had long resided in the gloom.

Did Huo Zeshen feel the same way?

Lin Juangui placed a light kiss on Huo Zeshen's nose, like a butterfly momentarily alighting on a puppy's snout. "I really like you calling me that. Thank you."

Thank you to his past self, and thank you to the present Huo Zeshen.

Fortunately, neither of them gave up on each other.

Huo Zeshen's heart was almost melted by Lin Juangui's sweetness.

He had indeed suspected before, thinking Lin Juangui saw him as someone else's substitute, that being good to him or waiting for him to grow up was just to satisfy a personal desire. Huo Zeshen had repeatedly warned himself not to care about these things, but in front of Lin Juangui, he couldn't hide much of his inner thoughts, easily revealing cracks.

After being awkward for so long, Huo Zeshen had already accepted everything about Lin Juangui. Lin Juangui had said he liked him right to his face; what more could he ask for?

Unconsciously, Huo Zeshen's gland began to feel warm. His last rut was actually less than three months ago, but too much had happened recently. Coupled with his frequent battles, his gland energy and mental strength were constantly being depleted. No matter how good his body was, it needed time to recover.

Lin Juangui noticed Huo Zeshen's abnormality. The Alpha's released pheromones were subtly shifting from wormwood to green plum. He touched Huo Zeshen's gland, his tone tinged with amusement. "My heat, your rut. How did they collide?"

Huo Zeshen lowered his head to explain. "I can feel the repaired Ultimate has increased the drain on my mental strength. My body is struggling a bit. It's hard on you, Xiao Juan, but could you give me a bit more pheromones, please?"

Before, hearing Huo Zeshen call him that habitually didn't feel like much. But now, when Huo Zeshen called him "Xiao Juan," it always made Lin Juangui's heart itch.

Huo Zeshen's voice was already very low. Lin Juangui always couldn't help but place his hand on the other's Adam's apple to feel the vibration. He did the same now. Their eyes met, and Lin Juangui could see Huo Zeshen's effort to endure.

Lin Juangui's pheromones were very light to Huo Zeshen, like mist, like rain—damp but not sticky, and instead very refreshing.

Huo Zeshen held Lin Juangui on his lap. The two pressed tightly together but did nothing, simply enjoying the tranquility of this moment.

Lin Juangui asked Huo Zeshen if he had ever thought of him during past ruts. Huo Zeshen didn't lie and said frankly, "Yes."

"How did you think of me?" Lin Juangui was extremely curious, his eyes bright, making it impossible to refuse.

Huo Zeshen's hand unconsciously stroked Lin Juangui's back. After all, this was quite shameful. He looked at Lin Juangui as if asking, *Are you sure you want to hear?*

Lin Juangui nodded emphatically. This was a rare period of innocence for Huo Zeshen; he had to ask all the questions he couldn't get answers to before.

The doctor-era Huo Zeshen would answer Lin Juangui with various technical terms. Lin Juangui would listen until he grew sleepy. But the general-era Huo Zeshen would unconsciously tighten his arms around Lin Juangui's waist, speaking of the dreams that had accompanied him for a long time.

A keen sensitivity had become part of Lin Juangui's character. Just listening to Huo Zeshen's descriptions of those dreams, he always felt as if he had experienced them himself.

Huo Zeshen said the him in the dreams never spoke, was very arrogant, with a kind of detached indifference toward everything. Huo Zeshen took care of him for a long time before finally receiving a glance.

"People in the dreams called you... Chan."

Lin Juangui's fingers twitched. The information Huo Zeshen knew resolved part of his confusion. Why was there a time gap in their acquaintance? Perhaps it was because of Chan's own reincarnation ability.

As for how the future Huo Zeshen would travel to Lin Juangui's world, Lin Juangui still didn't fully understand. It wasn't until Huo Zeshen finished telling the story of Bada and took out the mirror pendant on his chest, holding it in his hand, that Lin Juangui completely understood why he had lost his past memories.

The mirror shard was something Lin Juangui gave to Huo Zeshen. He knew it was important, that it would affect his own past and Huo Zeshen's future. And Lin Juangui himself still had to deal with Mu Zhang, so entrusting it to Huo Zeshen was the most secure and safest option.

What else did the past Lin Juangui know? Surely more secrets about this world were buried. All Lin Juangui could do now was to let this story reach its conclusion as soon as possible. Huo Zeshen had told him everything else. Lin Juangui could see that Huo Zeshen held nothing back from him.

"Let's just pretend those were our past lives, and we should cherish the present even more."

They interlocked their fingers. Lin Juangui had never regretted his choices, including meeting Huo Zeshen here now.

If the development of some stories was inevitable, he would make decisions more beneficial to both of them when choosing.

Lin Juangui's ability to accept things exceeded Huo Zeshen's expectations. Huo Zeshen had only considered those as his melancholy fantasies, but Lin Juangui called them their past lives—how romantic.

Huo Zeshen kissed the side of Lin Juangui's neck. "Xiao Juan, I've always seen you as my treasure."

No one could take Lin Juangui's place in Huo Zeshen's heart; Huo Zeshen cherished everything about him.

Lin Juangui felt like he was back when he and Huo Zeshen first got together. Back then, they had already gotten to know each other deeply. Lin Juangui's impression of Huo Zeshen matched the world's: mature, steady, and dependable, always making him feel warm and relaxed.

Huo Zeshen back then seemed to have many friends. He was kind to others and had worked in the hospital for years, doing his best to help patients who couldn't afford medical expenses. The office was filled with so many commendation banners that there wasn't enough space to hang them all.

Lin Juangui often wondered, how did such a perfect person end up with him?

He never expected that he and Huo Zeshen were inextricably linked, each the other's cause and effect.

In this world, Lin Juangui was dedicated to charity. He became a beacon of warmth, making Huo Zeshen remember him for many years and becoming Huo Zeshen's obsession.

The Omega's heat seemed to be triggered by the Alpha's pheromones. They fell into a passionate kiss, with Huo Zeshen holding himself back the whole time. He described how he used to think of Lin Juangui during his rut in the military's specially designed rooms. Lin Juangui's lips were wet and red as he gasped, calling Huo Zeshen a little rascal.

"Are you going to do everything to me that you did in your dreams?"

Huo Zeshen seemed even more excited, his slightly reddened eyes gleaming with fervor. "Can I?"

Lin Juangui burst out laughing. "No! You! Can't!"

Huo Zeshen's expression fell for a moment. He understood that Lin Juangui's body couldn't handle him. He could only use his hands to help Lin Juangui find relief.

Lin Juangui knew Huo Zeshen was struggling to hold back. He couldn't give him a temporary mark, nor could he let him truly mate with an Omega. Any Alpha would feel frustrated.

"Don't be sad. If we had past lives, maybe there will be a next one for us too."

When Lin Juangui comforted Huo Zeshen, he was usually very sincere, without being insincere or dismissive like he was with others. "Then we could walk hand in hand on the street. After work, we'd go to a small restaurant near home for dinner. Because the food is good, it's always crowded. We'd wait in line together, and you'd go to another street to buy me ice cream."

For Lin Juangui, he didn't need sweeping, epic tales. What he had always wanted was simply warm and simple companionship.

Huo Zeshen felt his eyes grow moist. Everything Lin Juangui described was also what he had dreamed of. Some things couldn't be done in this lifetime. If there really was a next life, he would treat Lin Juangui with an even better version of himself.

Lin Juangui's pheromones were so gentle they were almost non-threatening. Huo Zeshen felt like he was drowning in them.

Omegas liked hugs and kisses. Huo Zeshen held Lin Juangui, leisurely releasing his green plum-scented pheromones, the affection in his eyes so thick it was almost palpable.

Huo Zeshen didn't have the common Alpha traits like irritability and a quick temper. At most, he would lie in bed frowning pitifully, occasionally bucking his hips slightly, and then look at Lin Juangui with a watery gaze.

Lin Juangui, in heat, was also quite irritable. He was someone very open about what he wanted, and the feeling of having meat in front of him but being unable to eat it was truly awful. Coincidentally, Huo Zeshen was lying there motionless. Lin Juangui ran his fingers over the Alpha's well-defined abs, a mischievous glint flashing in his eyes.

"Shen Shen, let's play a game, okay?"

Huo Zeshen gave a hum of agreement, clearly not understanding what Lin Juangui intended.

Lin Juangui leaned close to his ear and whispered, "If you can control yourself, we can have more fun beyond just pheromones."

These words were practically corrupting an innocent. Lin Juangui's smile was devilishly alluring. Huo Zeshen had heard many such things before when Lin Juangui taught him all the secrets of his body. Huo Zeshen blinked, raised his muscular arm to slightly cover his eyes, and said, "Come on."

For Huo Zeshen, this was a slow torment, but the certainty that Lin Juangui was fully his also filled him with satisfaction.

Every inch of Lin Juangui's body was filled with temptation. Compared to Huo Zeshen's profuse sweating, Lin Juangui, who was in control, only had a thin layer of sweat on his back.

He could see the unconsciously satisfied expression on the Alpha's face, sexier than words could say. Lin Juangui used his finger to collect some sweat from Huo Zeshen's chin, put it in his mouth, licked the corner of his lips, and then showed a faint smile. "Aren't you curious about the taste?"

"..." Huo Zeshen couldn't speak at all and didn't dare to look at Lin Juangui.

Lin Juangui knew Huo Zeshen was holding back with great difficulty. The light in his eyes grew increasingly dangerous with Lin Juangui's audacity, as terrifying as an abyss.

If Lin Juangui hadn't discussed it with Huo Zeshen beforehand, Huo Zeshen would probably have tormented him to death by now.

Huo Zeshen loosely held Lin Juangui's waist. When Lin Juangui leaned down to carefully kiss his cheek, Huo Zeshen was utterly devout and focused.

"You just like to bully me."

If Lin Juangui were an Alpha, he might not be so fragile. But he was an Omega, without professional training, with average physical fitness. After his modifications and rehabilitation training, being able to live normally was already a blessing. In intimate acts, being bumped a little too hard could make him fall apart. Huo Zeshen didn't dare take that risk.

Lin Juangui was tired, lying on Huo Zeshen's arm, breathing lightly. "How can that be called bullying you? Clearly, I'm the one working hard."

A low chuckle escaped Huo Zeshen's throat. "You've worked hard."

Lin Juangui fell asleep almost as soon as he lay down. Huo Zeshen looked at Lin Juangui, already sound asleep in his arms, turned to hold him, and kissed every part of Lin Juangui's face and body bit by bit.

He knew Lin Juangui did this not only to satisfy physical needs but also to reassure him.

Lin Juangui's sensitivity was enough to perceive the other's emotions and take care of them as much as possible. This gave Huo Zeshen the illusion that he hadn't fully grown up yet in front of Lin Juangui.

But now he didn't force himself to appear overly mature. Lin Juangui would accommodate him and tell him that everything was fine.

After cleaning up the mess in the room and changing the sheets, Huo Zeshen held Lin Juangui again and closed his eyes.

Care and affection were mutual. Huo Zeshen learned from his experiences with Lin Juangui, understanding that liking someone meant being meticulous in every detail.

Lin Juangui slept so deeply this time that he even had a complete dream.

It had been a long time since he felt this sensation of his body floating in mid-air, as if watching a TV drama starring another version of himself.

Back then, Lin Juangui was in his twenties. He had already reached a mid-level management position and was extremely busy every day. After work, on the subway, watching the bustling city traffic, he would stuff food into his mouth, quickly finish dinner, go home, take a shower, and sleep. This life repeated for several years.

Later, when his position was higher, experienced seniors told him one must learn to slack off. Many things didn't need to be handled personally; just give a direction and let subordinates handle it, allowing time to produce results.

At first, Lin Juangui wasn't used to it, and his team members also complained about not being able to slack off. Later, Lin Juangui gradually became adept. His sense of responsibility allowed him to climb higher without becoming complacent. He began trying to balance his work and life.

But even so, work still dominated Lin Juangui.

Tasks were endless. Just when he thought he could rest for a while, new troubles would soon arise, requiring Lin Juangui's attention.

Lin Juangui discovered that only a small portion of the issues brought to him were truly urgent. Most people just wanted to shirk responsibility and used him as a scapegoat.

Unconsciously, Lin Juangui started frequenting Buddhist temples and Taoist monasteries. People still held reverence for deities, so as long as Lin Juangui posted a status saying he was in seclusion, they wouldn't disturb him.

His colleagues thought Lin Juangui had some special faith, going to temples to chant sutras and pray for blessings. Some even specifically asked Lin Juangui about it, but he just smiled without answering.

He simply often donated incense money and then went to spare meditation rooms to relax and sleep.

Lin Juangui desperately needed sleep. Although buying a car made commuting more convenient than before, traffic jams still left him helpless. Apartments closer to the company were too expensive, and he hadn't seen any good options, so he could only maintain the status quo for now.

Later, Lin Juangui was often sent on assignments abroad. His authority increased, and more people sought him out. So whenever he returned to the country, he would definitely hide in a temple for three days. The Taoist priests there all knew him by then, greeting him politely each time they saw him and asking how he had slept.

"If I could, I'd move my home here in a heartbeat."

The occasional sounds of bells and wooden fish didn't disturb Lin Juangui; he'd just roll over and go back to sleep. The scent of burning incense also brought him a sense of tranquility, making him lose all sense of time in his sleep. This feeling was all the more precious because it was fleeting.

The Taoist priest understood that Lin Juangui's words were just casual remarks. He produced a cylinder of fortune sticks from somewhere and asked Lin Juangui if he wanted to draw one.

Lin Juangui didn't really believe in this sort of thing. He wasn't seeking anything, but having slept so long in someone else's place, it was basic courtesy not to refuse. So he casually pulled a stick from the tube.

"Cicadas' chirping makes the forest seem even quieter; birdsong makes the mountain appear more secluded. This place stirs thoughts of returning home, yet year after year, I grieve over my weary travels."

Lin Juangui instinctively frowned. Not only did this fortune stick match his name remarkably well, but it also mirrored his current desires.

After years of working nonstop, even a machine would feel tired, let alone Lin Juangui.

He wanted to relax, to rest, but he had no family fortune to rely on. Even though he had saved some money over the years and earned a small fortune through investments, if he were to lie flat, he would simply be eating into his savings, with little chance of making a comeback.

Lin Juangui had never had any big dreams since childhood. He was a practical person who knew how to weigh the pros and cons.

This fortune stick brought up the issues he had deliberately avoided. Lin Juangui knew he couldn't keep working so intensely forever; his body would eventually give out, and then he would become a disposable pawn that anyone could cast aside.

He needed to start thinking about an exit strategy.

The Taoist priest knew that even without his interpretation, Lin Juangui could understand the meaning of this fortune stick. He said this quiet room would continue to be reserved for Lin Juangui in the future, but Lin Juangui declined.

"Thank you, Taoist Master, for the wake-up call. I already know what I should do."

Because of his unease, Lin Juangui would charge forward recklessly like a race car. Once he stopped, it would mean total destruction; he could only keep accelerating, burning himself out.

That wasn't the outcome Lin Juangui wanted. He had to slow himself down and come to a smooth stop.

Seeking peace externally was only a temporary escape; it couldn't solve the core problem.

To truly find inner peace, he had to address the factors that made him feel uneasy.

After that, Lin Juangui never went to temples or Taoist monasteries to hide away and be lazy again. He started becoming more flexible, no longer blindly working overtime. Occasionally, he would stop to look at the scenery around him, giving himself a little breathing room.

He was doing his best to treat himself well, not being too hard on himself. Reading the market, he bought several properties in good locations and sold them when the time seemed right. As his little nest egg grew more substantial, he even invested in a retirement home.

This way, even if he ended up alone in old age, he would have some security to fall back on.

Lin Juangui thought his life would slowly come to an end without any surprises, until he was sent to Southeast Asia.

That was when Lin Juangui truly began to spiral into self-abandonment.

Lin Juangui suddenly opened his eyes.

The TV drama had ended, without even a proper conclusion.

Lin Juangui had always been somewhat aloof by nature. If he didn't have to survive in this society, he probably wouldn't smile much.

His heart was beating fast because of this dream, and his expression was grim.

If he had woken up a little later, he might have seen those disgusting, unbearable scenes—his body completely out of his control, every inch of his nerves being manipulated, craving those filthy, rank things.

Over the years, with the help of a psychologist, Lin Juangui's condition had improved a lot. He acknowledged those artificially altered needs of his, using toys at most to relieve them in private, but he never longed for anyone to pull him out of the mire.

Because no one could.

A tear slid from the corner of Lin Juangui's eye, and someone gently wiped it away with their lips.

"Did you have a nightmare?" It was Huo Zeshen's voice.

Lin Juangui trembled and let out a heavy sigh, forcing a not-so-pretty, bitter smile. "Yeah, it was really scary."

Huo Zeshen smiled and comforted him, "I'm here. Xiao Juan isn't afraid anymore."

Lin Juangui held Huo Zeshen tightly, thinking that those things were long in the past. If he remained immersed in past pain, unable to free himself, how could he see the person right in front of him?

When Lin Juangui was a bit more awake, Huo Zeshen brought over a cup of floral tea-flavored nutrient drink and sat beside him, watching him slowly drink it.

Huo Zeshen didn't ask what nightmare Lin Juangui had. Since it was a nightmare, there was no need to dwell on it. An Omega in heat needed care, and Huo Zeshen's rut was still ongoing, but he could restrain himself fiercely for Lin Juangui's sake, not acting like a dog desperately seeking a mate, only knowing to find a hole to crawl into.

Lin Juangui glanced around. The scattered clothes had already been tidied up by Huo Zeshen, the wet sheets and pillowcases had been replaced with fresh ones, and his body felt completely dry and comfortable. He lay sprawled on Huo Zeshen's warm chest like a sloth, feeling lazy and soft all over.

"Have you ever heard this saying: in the quantum world, a particle can have multiple histories?"

Huo Zeshen nodded. "I have some impression, but I haven't studied it seriously."

Lin Juangui continued explaining casually, "Mm, it means when a particle moves from point A to point B, it doesn't just take one path; it simultaneously takes all possible paths. It might go directly from A to B, or it might deliberately take a detour, go somewhere else and come back to reach B. In short, this particle runs through every possible route at the same time, so it has multiple histories."

"The universe we see is the way it is because of our existence. That's what you want to say, right?"

Lin Juangui didn't know why he suddenly thought of these things, but what Huo Zeshen said was exactly what he meant.

Many things can't be verified by science, but if we take my existence as the starting point, everything has traces to follow.

This heat was the most peaceful one Lin Juangui had ever experienced. Huo Zeshen would chat with him, they would exchange views or cook together. When the heat waves came, they would kiss each other, comforting each other as naturally and familiarly as the most ordinary couple.

No wonder so many people spend their entire lives searching for a partner with high compatibility. It not only greatly improves work efficiency but also brings physical and mental pleasure and satisfaction.

Just as Huo Zeshen had recovered and was preparing to depart for Youlan Star, the military suddenly scheduled a high-level meeting. Huo Zeshen had no choice but to take the call in the study.

But Huo Zeshen was wearing a clean white shirt with the top two buttons completely undone, revealing marks that made many colleagues look away in embarrassment. He himself seemed unaware, listening with a serious expression to Zhai Yanhe's concerns about the current military situation.

"I believe..." When Huo Zeshen spoke, he didn't look at the virtual screen. His formal speech clashed with the impression given by his attire. Zhai Yanhe instinctively facepalmed when she saw him.

After the meeting ended, Zhai Yanhe placed a private video call to Huo Zeshen. "Even if an Omega is willing to help you through your rut, you still need to pay attention to your image. Luckily, this was just an internal meeting. I won't name you for criticism, but be more careful about your attire in the future."

Lin Juangui, who had been sitting on the nearby sofa reading a book, finally couldn't hold back his laughter. He went over to help Huo Zeshen button up his shirt. "Aren't you embarrassed?"

Huo Zeshen didn't care at all. He had done it on purpose.