Chapter 4 Do You Want Me to Hold You While You Sleep?

Chapter 4: Do You Want Me to Hold You to Sleep?

The calming tea was ready by the time night fell.

Ting Huayi and Li Ping still hadn't returned, making it clear they wouldn't be staying long. Putting Li Wangyue and Ting Zhenxi together was Ting Huayi's way of pushing family harmony and brotherly love.

Li Wangyue had originally thought they would all stay together, but now it was mostly just him and Ting Zhenxi alone.

At that thought, a faint itch stirred in his chest—uncomfortable, but mixed with a kind of longing.

Li Wangyue loosened the top button of his collar, like that might help him breathe.

The auntie knew what she was doing. She came out with an enamel pot and softly called them over to have some.

The calming tea had been simmered into a thick soup, with the ingredients well-prepped and expertly handled. Li Wangyue couldn't help smiling.

"Young master, I'll give you half a bowl. It's calming—it'll help you sleep."

The auntie went to the side room to call the guy playing the piano.

Li Wangyue stirred the soup with his spoon, but his ears were sharp, straining to hear the response from the side room.

The auntie's voice wasn't loud, but the piano music stopped.

The man at the piano tilted his head slightly. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

With that, he paused for a moment before the piano music resumed.

Hearing that, Li Wangyue's slow movements went back to normal. He lowered his head and took a small sip—sweet and fragrant, rich but not too heavy.

The auntie happily came back to serve Ting Zhenxi a bowl, adding extra snow fungus, saying he liked it.

Li Wangyue gave a faint smile. "Thanks. I've really put you out today."

"Not at all. It's my job."

The auntie waved her hand, her smile not fading.

She'd worked here since Ting Zhenxi was a kid. Jiang Suwan had treated her well, and before she passed, she said that since Ting Zhenxi was grown up now, the auntie could go home or find another job if she wanted. But the auntie chose to stay—she couldn't stand leaving the young master alone, and it was her way of repaying Jiang Suwan's kindness and patience over the years.

Though the auntie thought it was wrong for Ting Huayi to bring someone new home less than a year after his wife died from illness, she couldn't say anything. She could only say that's just how people are, and she'd stick to her duties.

Li Wangyue listened quietly. In that time that had nothing to do with him, Ting Zhenxi was loved, protected, and remembered—and that was enough for him.

He and Ting Zhenxi were like two parallel lines, their only intersection being the look Li Wangyue threw his way from behind.

Actually, he'd seen Ting Zhenxi a long time ago, though Ting Zhenxi didn't know it. Years ago, a quick glance caught the man surrounded by admirers, cameras flashing, reporters packed around him. Li Wangyue had just passed by in the distance, the most unnoticeable figure lost in the crowd.

Li Wangyue never imagined Ting Zhenxi would become his brother, let alone that he'd live under the same roof as this man.

The piano music in the side room gradually wound down, the piece ending.

Li Wangyue looked toward the hallway of the side room. A figure in black loungewear slipped past the faintly visible stair railing and came into the dining room.

Before he came in, Li Wangyue looked away, focusing on the nice calming tea. His thoughts wandered a bit, and he found himself hoping, just a little, that the tea would actually work.

Though he'd suffered from insomnia for a long time and was used to trouble falling asleep and bad sleep quality, it wasn't sustainable. Relying on meds only made him feel more ashamed, like taking pills meant he was really sick.

Sometimes he'd skip the meds on purpose, trying to force himself to sleep, but he'd end up staring at the ceiling until dawn.

Ting Zhenxi sat down opposite him. Li Wangyue naturally looked up, gave a faint smile and a nod as a greeting, then went back to eating.

They sat on opposite sides of the long dining table, which both separated and connected them at the same time.

Face to face. It meant that with a little indulgence of his eyes, he could catch every detail of the person across from him.

"Auntie, please sit and eat with us for a bit," Ting Zhenxi took the initiative to say.

He was always generous with kindness and patience toward the people he cared about. Li Wangyue felt envy in his heart, and along with it, a bitterness he couldn't describe.

Ting Zhenxi picked up his spoon, took a scoop, and put it in his mouth.

Li Wangyue's attention instantly shifted completely to him.

Ting Zhenxi glanced at his phone and said to the auntie, "It tastes good. The snow fungus is very smooth."

The auntie explained, "Mr. Li brought it. There's some left. If you like it, I'll make it again next time."

Li Wangyue's eyes moved to him.

But Ting Zhenxi showed no reaction, just nodding slightly. His calm face didn't change at all when he heard the ingredient came from Li Wangyue.

Li Wangyue slowly let out the breath he'd been holding.

That was enough.

For a moment, the quiet dining room was filled with just the soft clink of ceramic spoons against the rims of bowls.

Li Wangyue didn't have much of an appetite. After finishing one bowl, he put it down.

The auntie apologized, saying she'd added more snow fungus since she had it, and suggested that next time, without it, the tea would be clearer and could be brewed in a pot for afternoon tea.

Li Wangyue naturally replied with a warm "Thanks for the trouble."

Though the auntie said she didn't mind and that Li Wangyue didn't need to stand on ceremony, he couldn't possibly treat himself as the master of the Ting household—that would be overstepping.

Ting Zhenxi seemed to genuinely enjoy the snow fungus. After finishing half a bowl, he even asked the auntie for another serving.

Li Wangyue felt a surge of delight and grew more grateful to his professor, thinking he would ask where the professor's student had gotten the snow fungus next time he visited.

The auntie finished her chores and left, plunging the villa back into silence.

Ting Zhenxi seemed to dislike having outsiders in the house, keeping only those he deeply trusted and was close to.

Li Wangyue was an exception.

He wasn't someone Ting Zhenxi had chosen to stay; he was someone Ting Huayi had forced in—a disgraceful intruder defiling Jiang Suwan's legacy.

He was a thief, stealing time spent under the same roof as Ting Zhenxi.

Li Wangyue hadn't brought much luggage when he arrived. Perhaps he knew he wouldn't stay long, only packing the most basic clothes and necessities.

If Ting Zhenxi wanted him to leave right now, he could pack up in ten minutes and disappear quickly and completely, without making Ting Zhenxi uncomfortable for long.

Li Wangyue stood up and tidied the computer on the sofa. It was getting late, and lingering in the living room would be inappropriate.

As he went upstairs, Ting Zhenxi was still in the living room reading sheet music, holding a very old Montblanc Meisterstück 149 fountain pen. The cap was on, and the pen spun between his fingers in a dizzying display, yet he remained deeply focused on the music, occasionally pausing the spinning to write a few words with the pen.

Li Wangyue felt for the pen in his pocket.

It was already old, and not a particularly good brand. Luckily, Ting Zhenxi might have remembered it belonged to someone else and hadn't twirled it carelessly in his hand. If he had twirled it, with his skill, a few spins would have sent ink flying everywhere, rendering the pen unusable.

The room was quiet, with the lights off. Li Wangyue closed the door, leaned against it, and took a deep breath before turning on the light.

The bedroom was cozy, but empty.

Li Wangyue placed his computer on the desk. Looking down, he saw the ceiling's flashing red light reflected in the window.

A smoke alarm.

He turned and stared at the red light. A smoke alarm… does it glow red? Nonstop, day and night?

He didn't remember smoke alarms having red lights, but he knew this villa was old and had some years on it. So perhaps the infrastructure was all outdated. It made sense that Ting Zhenxi wanted to keep things the way they were when his mom died.

Li Wangyue sighed. He'd just have to get used to it.

He lay down on the bed, exhaustion washing over him. His mind started replaying the day's events against his will—every word he had said to Ting Zhenxi, every glance they exchanged—obsessing over every little thing. His brain was like a camera, recording every second with Ting Zhenxi in perfect detail.

Forgetting was his worst enemy.

So he had to replay them over and over, to burn those precious memories deeper into his brain.

"Xiao Xi…"

He murmured. His head ached, he felt dizzy, and his chest was tight. Without thinking, he grabbed the sheet.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed.

Li Wangyue frowned, took a moment to open his eyes, then fumbled for his phone. The screen showed a number he didn't recognize.

"Can't sleep again without me, huh?"

Qin You.

Li Wangyue gritted his teeth, feeling even more anxious.

But the other guy didn't let up, pushing even harder with another text.

"Want me to come over tonight and hold you while you sleep?"

He's asking for it.

Li Wangyue sat up in bed, hair messy, looking tired and annoyed.

He used to like Qin You as much as he now hated him.

Back then, Qin You knew about his insomnia. His eyes red with worry, he'd rush over and hug him, choking out that he'd always be there.

Li Wangyue had been uncomfortable with the sudden closeness. Even though they were dating, he wasn't used to that kind of touch.

But Qin You's act was too convincing—his arms wrapped tightly around him, his voice breaking because he was so worried about Li Wangyue's insomnia, the hot breath near his neck, showing how much he cared and how obsessed he was…

Li Wangyue thought of himself as a shameless, selfish jerk.

He craved that faint, fake feeling of being unforgettable to someone.

That night, Qin You held him and talked for a long time. Even though most of it was about Qin You, Li Wangyue listened quietly, and before he knew it, he actually fell asleep.

Back then, he really thought this guy was someone he could count on.

He never thought all those memories would turn into knives stabbing him now.

Li Wangyue stared at these messages, each one more invasive than the last. He was disgusted, but also a little relieved.

He'd moved into the Ting villa without telling anyone. Only a few close friends knew about it. Qin You shouldn't have his new address.

If he was crazy enough to go to the old apartment, no one would buzz him in. It'd just be a headache for the property management and the neighbors, but Li Wangyue really didn't want to bother.

Li Wangyue threw his phone aside and rubbed his temples. He heard a faint click from the room next door.

Ting Zhenxi was back in his room.

Li Wangyue went to the door, listening closely like he did that morning, not wanting to miss anything.

From outside, he heard a low, muffled voice—someone on the phone again.

"…It's already three months behind schedule. They're begging everyone…"

"…Using the returns from the offshore VC fund as collateral… That's not my problem…"

"I know the risks… Don't need to ask Ting Huayi…"

After a bit, the voice faded.

He couldn't hear anymore.

Li Wangyue shook the bottle, popped out a pill, and swallowed it. He thought about waiting a little longer, in case Ting Zhenxi came back after his call.

The pill would take a while to kick in, but Li Wangyue was already getting sleepy. Was it the calming tea? he wondered hopefully.

About five minutes later, he heard the lock click again.

Then came the sound of the door closing.

Li Wangyue listened quietly. A lighter sound—that was the door closing—followed by a heavier "click" of the lock—that was the deadbolt.

Ting Zhenxi had returned to his room and was preparing to rest.

He wouldn't leave until tomorrow.

Li Wangyue was now just a wall away, sharing the most private, peaceful moment with him.

Li Wangyue lay on his side, reaching out to touch the wall. On the other side was Ting Zhenxi. If this wall disappeared, there would be nothing between them.

Li Wangyue hated this wall, but he also depended on it.

Otherwise, Ting Zhenxi would see his exposed, intense gaze.

Fortunately, Ting Zhenxi couldn't see it.

Li Wangyue closed his eyes. Tonight, sleep seemed to come swiftly and strongly. He regretted taking the pill; he probably could have done without it.

As his consciousness faded, he thought he heard another lock click. His heart twitched involuntarily, and he struggled to stay awake.

Was Ting Zhenxi going out?

Was he leaving? Where was he going…

The pill's effect seemed unusually strong tonight. Li Wangyue couldn't muster a single shred of clarity. The more he fought it, the worse it got.

Suddenly, without warning or reason, a playful remark Ting Zhenxi had once made flashed through Li Wangyue's mind.

"No. I need to watch you every moment. Including at night."

Li Wangyue shivered, pulled the blanket tighter, and as his consciousness slowly slipped away, he fell into a deep sleep.