Chapter 78

Chapter 78

Ji Yunshu froze, as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over her head, her entire body stiffening in place. Those two sentences kept circling in her mind, until they finally dredged up the conversation she'd buried deep in her memory.

She remembered now. The day before the wedding, Meng Yunzhen had come to help her pack. The two of them were busy in the room when Meng Yunzhen asked her.

What had she said back then? She remembered blurting out "No"—and then silently adding to herself: I only feel like a sister to him.

But back then, Ji Yunshu truly didn't know.

She really didn't get it back then. The kind of passionate, earth-shattering "love" you read about in books—she'd never felt anything like it. She was good to Pei Yufeng because they had grown up together, because he was "Brother Pei," because he could protect her and take care of her. She thought marrying him would secure her future and give her peace of mind. But actually, she'd felt possessive of Pei Yufeng from way back—if she'd had to become "revolutionary partners" with someone else, she would have felt uncomfortable too. She didn't know if that counted as liking someone, let alone loving them. She thought love should be heart-pounding, butterflies in the stomach, the way she'd seen young men and women in the compound blush and stammer, unable to string together a full sentence when they met—she and Pei Yufeng had never been like that. He was steady, quiet, kept everything bottled up inside. She never had to be nervous around him, never blushed, never fumbled her words.

So that's what she'd told Meng Yunzhen back then: No.

But she had never liked anyone else. When He Jianjun had been nice to her, she'd just thought, "This guy's all right." Because He Qiuxia was close with her mother, and the two of them were engaged, she'd always put on a smile for him. Ji Yunshu had also met guys who tried to pursue her, but she just found it "so annoying." Only Pei Yufeng—only when he was by her side—made her feel at peace. She thought that was habit, family affection, two people just getting through life together.

But she didn't realize that might already have been "love."

Everyone's "love" manifests differently. All Ji Yunshu wanted was to be close to Pei Yufeng, to hold him, and to have him stay by her side forever. No one had ever taught Ji Yunshu what romantic love between a man and a woman was, or what "romance" meant. But now she finally understood.

"Pei Yufeng..." Ji Yunshu's voice was hoarse. "Then why—" She looked up at him, eyes full of tears. "Why didn't you ask me? Why didn't you ask me what I really thought?"

Pei Yufeng looked at her, a faint, faded bitterness in his eyes. "How could I ask? You were about to marry me, and the day before, you were still saying you had no romantic feelings for me. If I'd asked you why you were marrying me—was it to stay with Grandma? Was it because you were afraid you couldn't make it on your own outside the compound? Or because I was just reliable enough?—would we have been able to keep going after that? Back then, I even had some dark thoughts: even though you didn't like me, you still married me. We'd spend our whole lives together. Maybe over time, you'd slowly grow to love me?"

Pei Yufeng said all this so calmly that Ji Yunshu's heart felt like it was being squeezed in a fist.

"I was afraid you'd only agreed because you felt you had to," Pei Yufeng said. "I was afraid that if I asked, you'd say 'I like you' just to let me down easy, but it wouldn't be your true answer. I didn't want you to force yourself to make me feel better. So I didn't ask."

Ji Yunshu's tears fell fast, landing on his chest and soaking through the thin military shirt. She suddenly felt like such an idiot—a casual remark she'd made had been weighing on this man for years, made him hold back from saying anything even though he loved her desperately, made him watch her get pregnant, give birth, raise the children, manage the household, watch her gaze grow softer and warmer day by day, and still not dare to hope for more.

"You're such an idiot..." Ji Yunshu said through her tears.

Pei Yufeng reached up to wipe her tears. "It's all in the past."

"No, it's not." Ji Yunshu grabbed his hand, clutching it tightly. "Listen to me—I'm telling you right now: I like you. I don't know when it started, but it was definitely earlier than I realized. I didn't understand what liking meant back then. I thought love was the grand, passionate kind written in books. I thought what I felt for you was just brother-sister stuff. I was dumb back then, I didn't know anything—but I know now. You hear me?"

Ji Yunshu finished in one breath, cheeks puffed, tears still clinging to her lashes, but the earnestness in her eyes was unwavering.

"I heard you." Pei Yufeng looked into her eyes too, continuously wiping her tears.

Ji Yunshu stared at Pei Yufeng for two seconds, then cupped his face in her hands, leaned in, and kissed him hard twice on the lips—loud smacks, tasting of tears and carrying a wild, don't-you-dare-refuse force.

"Enough?" Ji Yunshu pulled back a little, glaring at him with red-rimmed eyes. "Enough? If you ever dare keep something like this bottled up again, I'll—"

"Enough." Pei Yufeng cut her off, the corners of his mouth finally curving upward, his tone full of relieved satisfaction. "As long as you're by my side, that's all I need."

Ji Yunshu's tears welled up again. She threw her arms around his neck, buried her face in his shoulder, her whole body still trembling slightly, tears streaming uncontrollably. But she was truly happy—a thrill she'd never felt before.

Pei Yufeng held her, his chin resting on the top of her head, eyes closed.

They just held each other, until Nian Nian turned over in the bedroom again and mumbled something. Ji Yunshu pulled back from his embrace, wiped her face haphazardly, and stood up to go wash up. She stopped at the doorway and looked back at Pei Yufeng—wrapped in bandages, yet with a smile on his lips.

"I mean it," Ji Yunshu said. "From now on, I'm going to say 'I love you' every single day."

"I love you too. I love you so, so much."

The kids were already sleeping in a mess—Nian Nian sprawled across the middle of the crib, Sheng Sheng curled up in the corner, all the blankets kicked to the foot. Ji Yunshu straightened them out, tucked the covers in, then lay down on one side of the big bed. Pei Yufeng lay down beside her, a fist-width of space between them.

Ji Yunshu reached out and took Pei Yufeng's hand.

"Sleep," Ji Yunshu said.

"Mm."

The lamp went out. Moonlight slipped through the gap in the curtains, drawing a white line across the floor. The sea breeze blew softly, rustling gently—familiar and beautiful.

Ji Yunshu closed her eyes, knowing she'd never forget this night.

The next morning, when Ji Yunshu woke up, Pei Yufeng was no longer in bed.

Ji Yunshu's heart jumped. She shot up and rushed to the living room, only to find Pei Yufeng standing at the stove in her floral apron, holding the pot with his left hand and a spatula in his right, the porridge bubbling away in the pot. Nian Nian sat on a cushion gnawing on a piece of steamed bun, while Sheng Sheng leaned against the wall quietly watching his father's back.

"Why are you up?" Ji Yunshu walked over. "Your injuries haven't healed—"

"My injuries are on my brow and back, not my hands." Pei Yufeng didn't turn around, ladling the porridge into bowls. "Go sit down. Just wait for breakfast."

Ji Yunshu wanted to say more, but seeing him standing there in her floral apron looking so unbothered, she swallowed her words and sat down at the table.

The next few days felt like a dream. Pei Yufeng did exactly as he'd said—he handled everything around the house: boiling water and cooking in the morning, mixing formula for Nian Nian and Sheng Sheng, washing dishes, wiping down the table, then grabbing the broom and sweeping the whole courtyard, inside and out. The only thing Ji Yunshu had to do was change his bandages morning and night—swabbing the wound on his brow with iodine and rubbing medicinal wine into the bruises on his back.

The rest of the time, she'd sit in the courtyard chatting with Li Shu and Liu Aimin.

Word of Pei Yufeng's return spread through the whole compound that same day. The next morning, someone pounded on the courtyard gate. Li Shu dragged Commander Lin to the door, two bottles of liquor in his hand. The moment he stepped inside, he set the bottles on the table and, without a word, gave Pei Yufeng a deep bow.

"Deputy Regiment Commander Pei, I'm so sorry..."

Pei Yufeng quickly pulled him up. "Old Lin, what are you doing? I made it back alive, didn't I?"

"But you got dragged into this mess because of me!" Commander Lin's eyes reddened again. "You suffered so much on that island, all because of me..."

Li Shu rolled her eyes beside him. "Alright, alright. Xiao Pei finally made it back, and here you go again." She reached out to tug Commander Lin. "You've been tossing and turning every night for days—have I said a word? Now he's standing here safe and sound, so just say thank you properly! Deputy Regiment Commander Pei saved your life, and this is how you repay him?"

Li Shu was dragging Commander Lin to "serve Pei like a horse or an ox," but he stubbornly shoved the liquor bottles toward Pei Yufeng. "Come on, Old Pei, you and I are having a drink today. I'm saying it right now: from today on, you're my blood brother. Let's swear an oath—"

"Don't you dare!" Li Shu smacked the back of his head. "Xiao Pei is still injured. Drinking? Are you trying to make sure he's hurt worse?"

Commander Lin clutched the back of his head and shrank back, his mouth opening and closing, but he didn't dare say another word.

Ji Yunshu watched from the sidelines and couldn't help laughing.

Before long, Liu Mingzhe and Liu Aimin arrived too. Liu Mingzhe burst in like a whirlwind, first scanning the courtyard, then letting out a long breath when he spotted Pei Yufeng sitting on the sofa. He strode over in three quick steps, stopped in front of Pei Yufeng, and looked him up and down for a good half minute.

"Deputy Regiment Commander Pei," Liu Mingzhe said, his voice thick with emotion, "I'm just glad you're okay."

Pei Yufeng nodded at him. "I'm fine."

Liu Mingzhe clenched his fist and dropped his voice. "I heard about Ye Zifeng. If I ever get my hands on him, I'll beat the crap out of him. If he hadn't sold you out, you never would've gotten hurt this bad, and you might not have made it back at all."

Ji Yunshu paused mid-pour, her hand hovering over the teapot.

Liu Aimin quickly changed the subject. "Oh, why bring up that scumbag on such a good day? Today's about celebrating Deputy Regiment Commander Pei's return—maybe he'll get another commendation!"

Ji Yunshu held up the teapot and looked at Pei Yufeng. "A commendation? For what?"

Pei Yufeng took a sip of tea, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "You'll find out when the news breaks in a bit."

Ji Yunshu had a vague idea, but since he was being so mysterious, she didn't push it.

The news came sooner than she expected.

Half a month later, one evening, Li Shu came by again, clutching a notice in her hand when she walked in, her face a mix of surprise and delight. She slapped the notice down on the table: "Look at this! Ye Zifeng's verdict has come down!"

Ji Yunshu and Liu Aimin leaned in to read it. The notice clearly stated that Ye Zifeng had been sentenced to a severe punishment for selling military secrets. His approach to Fang Xue and becoming Political Commissar Fang's son-in-law had been calculated from the very start—he wanted to use the commissar's position to access high-level military intelligence and sell it to enemy agents. He harbored a deep grudge against Pei Yufeng, repeatedly asking that Pei be "prioritized" for elimination, and every report he passed along specifically flagged Pei Yufeng's mission movements.

When Ji Yunshu saw those words, a chill ran up her spine. She set the notice down and turned to look at Pei Yufeng, who sat on the sofa shelling peanuts for Nian Nian.

"When did you find out he was a problem?" Ji Yunshu asked Pei Yufeng after Liu Aimin and Li Shu had left.

Pei Yufeng paused mid-shell, looked up at her. "The organization flagged him as a problem at the end of last year, but since he was the commissar's son-in-law, we needed more solid evidence. But his excessive focus on me ended up exposing him—so in the end, I was the one who gathered the key evidence."

Ji Yunshu's tears suddenly welled up. She understood now—the death sentence in her dream had never been about one specific mission. Whether Pei Yufeng took Liu Mingzhe's mission or not, whether he flew this route or that one, as long as he was alive and still in the army, Ye Zifeng would find every possible way to eliminate him. That fatal trap was something Ye Zifeng had planned and made unavoidable, but it was also precisely because Ye Zifeng was cornered and desperate that more evidence came to light, allowing Pei Yufeng to arrest him.

Ye Zifeng's plan had been thorough—Pei Yufeng being swept away by the waves had left almost no chance of survival. But this time, Pei Yufeng had come back alive, and Ye Zifeng had failed. His scheme at sea had failed, and Pei Yufeng had returned carrying the evidence of Ye Zifeng's crimes—only now was Pei Yufeng's death sentence truly over.

"Pei Yufeng," Ji Yunshu said, fear gripping her as she remembered her dream. She walked over to him, bent down, and threw her arms around his neck. "I'm so glad you're still here with me."

He was knocked back a little by her embrace, then raised a hand to steady her back, his lips brushing her ear, his voice low. "I survived."

"Yes, you survived."

Ji Yunshu buried her face in his shoulder, her body shaking hard as tears soaked his neck. She cried loudly, as if letting out all the pain of waiting for him and finally understanding why he had died in her dream.

Nian Nian was startled by her mother's crying, frozen, holding a peanut in her hand. Sheng Sheng got up from the mat, walked over, and gently patted Ji Yunshu's leg with his small hand, over and over, mimicking the way adults comfort people.

Pei Yufeng's hand also patted Ji Yunshu's back in a steady rhythm, not rushing her to stop.

A sea breeze drifted in through the window, carrying the salty, warm scent of early evening, making the curtains billow and fall.

When Ji Yunshu had cried herself out, she lifted her head from his shoulder, her eyes swollen like peaches. She sniffled, looked at the light scab on Pei Yufeng's brow, and reached out to gently touch it.

"Don't ever do anything like this again."

"Okay."

"Ye Zifeng's case is closed, he got what he deserved, but you need to stay safe."

"Mm, I know. I have you, Nian Nian, and Sheng Sheng."

Ji Yunshu sniffled again and buried her face back into the crook of his neck. "You don't know how scared I was. I was terrified I'd never see you again, that I wouldn't even get to say goodbye, that I couldn't find you... The sea was so vast, you were all alone, and I was afraid you'd never make it back home."

Pei Yufeng's palm rested on the back of her head, his fingertips gently massaging her scalp. "No need to be scared now."

Ji Yunshu nodded against his chest and hugged him tighter.

Sheng Sheng stood nearby, watching them for a long while, then suddenly reached out and tugged at Pei Yufeng's pant leg. Pei Yufeng looked down at him, and Sheng Sheng took a peanut from the bowl, held it up high, offering it to Pei Yufeng.

Pei Yufeng paused for a moment, then bent down, took it, and ate the peanut. Sheng Sheng watched him swallow it, and a faint, faint smile finally spread across his face. Then he turned and walked back to the mat, still watching him.

Nian Nian tilted her head and giggled too.

Ji Yunshu leaned against Pei Yufeng, watching the two children laugh together, the evening sun streaming in from the west, bathing the whole room in a warm golden glow.

She let out a long breath.

At last, it was all over.

--

After Ye Zifeng's verdict came down, a lot changed in the compound.

The first to be affected was Political Commissar Fang's family. Though the notice didn't explicitly criticize the commissar, anyone with eyes could see it—Ye Zifeng had gotten high-level secrets through him. The commissar had a loose tongue, answering whatever anyone asked him. Fang Xue would ask, he'd tell, and she'd relay it to Ye Zifeng. Before long, Ye Zifeng had essentially mapped out the military's core movements.

The organization acted quickly. Political Commissar Fang was stripped of his position, given a severe party warning, and pushed into early retirement. The day the news broke, Huang Paimei ran into Ji Yunshu in the courtyard and said in a low voice, "I heard the commissar locked himself in his office all day and never came out. Bai Qiumei had to go get him. When he came out, he looked ten years older, his back hunched."

Ji Yunshu didn't respond, just let out a soft sigh.

Fang Xue didn't get off easy either. She hadn't done it intentionally, but as the commissar's daughter and Ye Zifeng's wife, every piece of leaked information had gone through her hands. The organization arranged for her to undergo labor reform in a remote border region, with no fixed term—her release would depend on her behavior.

Bai Qiumei had been crying at home nearly every day. Passing by her door, Liu Aimin could hear the sobbing through the courtyard walls. One time, Ji Yunshu saw Bai Qiumei talking to Wang Yulan, her eyes swollen like walnuts, hair uncombed and hanging loose, a shadow of her former self. She stood before Wang Yulan, clutching her hand and trembling.

"Comrade Wang, we ruined Xue'er..." Bai Qiumei's voice was hoarse, barely audible. "If we hadn't agreed to the marriage, hadn't let her get involved with that man Ye Zifeng, she wouldn't have been dragged into this... It's all my fault. I'm her mother, I should have stopped her, but I didn't..."

Wang Yulan held her hand, saying something Ji Yunshu couldn't hear.

Ji Yunshu felt a wave of melancholy. When Fang Xue had married Ye Zifeng, everyone in the compound had called it a perfect match—the commissar's son-in-law, young and promising, smooth-talking and sociable, able to get along with everyone. Who could have imagined that beneath that polished exterior lurked such malice?

Ji Yunshu stood there, watching Bai Qiumei's hunched figure turn and walk away. The wind lifted her graying hair, and her silhouette swayed, as if it might be blown over at any moment.

Within less than a month, Political Commissar Fang's family had moved out of the compound. On moving day, Ji Yunshu heard the sound of a truck engine starting in the alley. She walked to the door and saw a gray-green truck parked at the end of the alley, its bed loaded with wooden crates and bundled bedding. Bai Qiumei helped the commissar out of the house. He wore an old shirt, head bowed as he walked, not greeting anyone. Bai Qiumei followed behind him, bent over, carrying a small bundle, her steps slow.

The truck kicked up a cloud of dust as it drove off, hanging in the afternoon sunlight for a long while before settling.

Ji Yunshu stood at the gate watching the truck turn out of the alley and disappear. She couldn't quite name what she felt. She couldn't say she'd liked the Fang family, but seeing them suffer still tugged at her heart. Bai Qiumei was stubborn and rigid, ruling the household with an iron hand, and the commissar always deferred to her. When Fang Xue wanted to marry Ye Zifeng, Bai Qiumei approved, and the commissar didn't object.

Ji Yunshu leaned against the doorframe, thinking. Some disasters in this world aren't because the villains are too wicked, but because the good people are too soft. Political Commissar Fang wasn't a bad man, but his carelessness and his weak will had been exploited, and the consequences had spiraled into catastrophe.

Ji Yunshu shook her head and turned back inside.

The news of the new political commissar's arrival was delivered personally by Commander Lu. Word had it the new commissar was transferred from a naval base on an eastern island, with deep experience and over a decade of service there, known for his decisive, no-nonsense style. He brought someone with him—Commander Lu's nephew, Lu Wenya, who had come to visit his uncle and Bai Qiumei.

The name "Lu Wenya" floated past Ji Yunshu's ears several times—first from Li Shu, then Liu Aimin, and even Huang Paimei came by to mention it: "Have you heard? Commander Lu's nephew is back on leave. Only twenty-one, just promoted to deputy battalion commander. They say he's earned multiple commendations in the eastern theater—right up there with your Deputy Regiment Commander Pei."

Ji Yunshu listened at first without paying much mind. It wasn't until the regiment held a full assembly that day, and she went to the mess hall as a family representative to help prepare tea, that she saw him for the first time.

The mess hall door was open, sunlight streaming in and landing on the side of a figure. He wore a crisp uniform, his rank insignia gleaming new, tall with broad shoulders and a narrow waist, standing out among the cluster of officers. He was talking to someone beside him, his profile sharply defined—high brow, clean jawline, skin tanned an even wheat color from years on the island. A slight smile played at the corner of his mouth as he spoke, but it wasn't frivolous. He carried himself with that upright, sharp energy distinctive of a naval officer.

As Ji Yunshu passed by carrying a teapot, her gaze swept over him and lingered for a few seconds.

His profile was too striking—so much so that Ji Yunshu couldn't help but take a second look. She took a step forward with the teapot, then glanced back again. To be fair, she'd seen plenty of soldiers—Pei Yufeng was one, Commander Lin another, Liu Mingzhe yet another, and Pei Yufeng was naturally the best-looking. But Lu Wenya's handsomeness was different—he was so young, young as a freshly sprouted white poplar, radiating a vibrant, sun-soaked vitality that made you want to look twice.

Ji Yunshu thought to herself, muttering, "He's quite spirited-looking," then turned to set the teapot on the table.

She froze the moment she turned.

Pei Yufeng was standing less than five steps behind her, and she had no idea when he'd arrived. He wore his dress uniform, the wound on his brow now scabbed over with a light brown crust but not fully healed. He stood there, hands clasped behind his back, his expression not exactly dark but far from pleasant—lips pressed flat, brows slightly furrowed, his gaze moving from her face to the direction she'd been looking, then back.

"What are you looking at?" Pei Yufeng's voice was even, betraying no emotion, but Ji Yunshu had lived with him long enough to hear the taut string underneath.

"Nothing," Ji Yunshu said without flinching. "Just carrying tea."

"Since when does carrying tea require looking back twice?"

Ji Yunshu was caught off guard, inwardly cursing, but kept her face perfectly composed: "I was just checking out what the new comrade looks like. Is that not allowed?"

Pei Yufeng looked at her, his gaze resting on her face for several long seconds. Then he stepped forward, turned sideways, and positioned himself squarely to block her view of the mess hall entrance. He was tall, with broad shoulders, and with that single shift, Lu Wenya vanished entirely from her sight.

"Not allowed," Pei Yufeng said.

Ji Yunshu looked up at him, held it for two seconds, then couldn't help it—the corner of her mouth twitched up. "Deputy Regiment Commander Pei, are you getting jealous on me?"