Chapter 56 – This Isn’t What I Wanted

Chapter 56 - This Isn't What I Wanted

The response from the palace came swiftly, before dusk had even fallen. Dinner hadn't been laid out on the table yet when Wen Ruan and Zhu Yan met with the eunuch sent by the palace to deliver their message, Eunuch Guan—a man of considerable weight, personally dispatched by the Emperor.

He explained that it was all a misunderstanding; the deceased young eunuch had mistaken Wen Ruan for someone else.

That eunuch wasn't particularly bold or skilled. He was somewhat simple-minded in his daily life, never one to seek out excitement. Since entering the palace, he hadn't committed any major offenses; the minor ones for which he was punished were often due to being exploited by more cunning eunuchs. Indeed, he was a pitiable soul.

Without martial arts skills and lacking the courage to kill, this time, his heart clouded by lard, he had acted rashly, driven by a misjudgment. Two years ago, he had suffered a serious illness, nearly dying. It was only through the great kindness of a palace maid that he managed to recover. She was a few years older than him, and in his heart, he recognized her as an adoptive elder sister, keeping it a secret from everyone. Whenever he had the chance, he would quietly look after this elder sister. Half a year ago, this palace maid reached the age where she could leave the palace and, following her family's wishes, got married.

This should have been the end of the story, but tragically, the palace maid died, having married the wrong person, who tormented her to death.

The news eventually reached the young eunuch's ears, and he couldn't bear it. The oppressive environment of the palace could turn even the smallest thought into an obsession. If given the opportunity, he would have sought revenge...

The man the palace maid married was the son of a Duke's household. He had gone missing as a child, leaving him with a somewhat obsessive personality. Gathering information within the palace wasn't easy, and a mistake in the message led to a misunderstanding. The young eunuch mistook the man for Wen Ruan. Coincidentally, today, Zhu Yan brought Wen Ruan into the palace, and this eunuch, under the influence of his emotions, took action.

Eunuch Guan recounted the events in detail. Perhaps because it wasn't just about some 'adoptive elder sister,' but also involved forbidden romantic thoughts between eunuchs, he spoke with a certain level of reserve, which paradoxically made the story seem more genuine.

But Wen Ruan didn't believe a single word.

A misunderstanding in delivering a message, an unresolvable obsession, and a sudden urge to kill...he hadn't forgotten that when he asked about this matter in the palace, the head eunuch of Shang Baojian described Xiao Shuanzi as careful and cautious. Would such a person make such a mistake?

There were many Dukes and Marquises in the capital, and not all of them bore the surname Wen. However, there were those who had gone missing and were later found. Wen Ruan hadn't heard of any such cases in the capital's Duke households. He knew that during the chaos thirteen years ago, many children went missing, and it was possible that someone with a similar experience to his own existed. But if there was a Duke household in the capital with a similar story, he wouldn't have spent so much time in the capital without hearing about it.

But high-ranking families valued privacy. They could deny something if they wanted to, and if they wished to confirm it, they could do so immediately...they could fabricate details to cover up any lies.

Then there was the origin of the dagger, the planning of the route, and the transmission of information. How could it be such a coincidence that this young eunuch, intent on murder, would run into Wen Ruan, who had just left the main hall? How could it be that the timing of deliveries to the palace was so flexible that the Empress' quarters had no requirements, and the Emperor had to follow the whims of this young eunuch, controlling how long he met with Zhu Yan and Wen Ruan?

Timing was a complex matter, and if one followed the trail, they would surely find something.

"Ah, so that's how it is," Zhu Yan said, staring at Eunuch Guan with an expressionless face. "Thank you, Eunuch Guan, for making the trip."

It seemed he didn't believe a word either, but some things were meant to be buried, and this was how it had to be.

After seeing Eunuch Guan off, dinner was tasteless and unappetizing.

Wen Ruan realized that not only was it a taboo in the palace, but the events that occurred thirteen years ago were also a sensitive topic within its walls. Emperor Taiyuan was very wary of discussing it, so others dared not bring it up.

And the person behind the young eunuch dared to target him directly in the palace, likely exploiting this very fact, knowing that a thorough investigation wouldn't be possible, allowing them to remain hidden...

This attempt had failed, but the next one would be more cautious, sharper, and more focused on achieving success at the first strike.

Who could it be?

He didn't think it was the Emperor. If the Emperor truly wanted him dead, he could have easily arranged it outside the palace. The Empress and Consort Rou...their behavior didn't seem fitting, but palace consorts weren't ordinary women. One couldn't trust surface-level interactions. How much of what they showed was an act, and how much was real, even the Emperor might not be able to discern clearly.

It seemed that in the future, he would have to be even more vigilant.

Wen Ruan genuinely couldn't understand how past events could be connected to him. Did the child he once was witness something? Children were innocent; if they saw something, they could easily slip up and reveal it. Children also had short memories, likely forgetting it over time. How could it still be remembered now, and still have an impact?

Or did he accidentally touch or obtain something?

But he had searched through everything around him, and he believed that the mastermind behind the scenes had done the same. Finding nothing unusual, they had held back, allowing him to live, until something triggered their suspicions, leading them to decide to eliminate him...

Watching him so closely, the object must be of great importance. Yet, they didn't directly take his life. Was it perhaps...because they weren't entirely sure if it was really with him?

Why didn't they come and ask directly? Whether through coaxing or private imprisonment, why didn't they resort to such methods?

Perhaps they couldn't ask. Asking would expose them.

Wen Ruan was initially annoyed, but then he felt a perverse sense of satisfaction. The person behind the scenes was likely equally frustrated, unable to deal with him lightly or harshly. Killing him would mean regretting the loss of something most important, possibly forever unattainable. Not killing him, watching him freely roam around the capital, would likely drive them mad with anger.

If he were to encounter another crisis in the future, on the brink of death, would this person save him or let him die?

Well, time was on his side. He had plenty of friends now, so he would wait and see. In the end, would he uncover the identity of the mastermind, or would they succeed in eliminating him?

Wen Ruan had come to terms with the situation, feeling much more relaxed. But Zhu Yan...

What had he experienced? What did he remember in the depths of night, year after year? He hadn't uttered a single word.

Wen Ruan didn't ask. After dinner, he returned to his room.

Strangely, Zhu Yan didn't leave, following him back to the main room. After washing up and changing clothes, he casually picked up a book and leaned against the bed to read, showing no intention of leaving.

In today's atmosphere...the Sixth Prince revealed a sense of vulnerability, making him particularly endearing. Moreover, he had saved Wen Ruan during the day. Wen Ruan felt awkward about asking him to leave, tacitly accepting the arrangement of sleeping together.

He assumed they would lie awake in the same bed, each lost in their own dreams, finding it difficult to sleep. Unexpectedly, they fell asleep quickly.

Perhaps it was due to a subconscious sense of security. Wen Ruan soon snuggled close, placing his limbs on Zhu Yan, allowing himself to be fully embraced.

Zhu Yan placed a gentle kiss on the top of Wen Ruan's head, wanting to hold him tighter but not daring to do so.

Romance...indeed wore one down.

But if one could possess it, it was a fortunate thing in the world, something to be cherished.

Mother was right. Crown Prince Gege wasn't capable of handling this; he lacked the ability to express himself.

The past was like smoke, and those who had passed away were like the winds of the seasons, gradually submerged in the ever-increasing years. People slowly forgot, unwilling to recall, because they had many other things to fill the void, to comfort themselves.

But he was different. That was his most precious, most vibrant time, with the only two family members he had in the world. He would make all those who deserved to die pay the price. If he hadn't thoroughly investigated back then, if there were any who escaped justice, he would find them and use their blood to honor the souls of the departed!

The next day, Wen Ruan and Zhu Yan prepared gifts and went to the Wen Duke's residence together.

Madame Lu, the second lady in charge of the household, had done an excellent job. Alongside her daughter-in-law, Little Madame Lu, she arranged all the necessary hospitality, presenting a welcoming atmosphere that was both enthusiastic and restrained, striving to create a sense of homecoming for their guests.

Since they were guests, they naturally couldn't be considered family.

Madame Zhou of the main branch, because her daughter Wen Ru had returned, wore a rare smile, no longer treating Wen Ruan with veiled hostility. She appeared loving and gentle, just as an elder should: "You're finally back. These days, you've been on my mind...you siblings, sharing the same roots, should be united, supporting each other. Don't be like others."

While speaking, he cast a sharp glance at Wen Yu, who was standing beside him.

He had started to speak in an odd and sarcastic tone about this illegitimate son, clearly showing his extreme dissatisfaction with Wen Yu's marriage.

Wen Yu seemed to be used to it, not blushing or getting angry, instead serving hot tea to his mother-in-law with great courtesy: "Mother, don't say such things. There are so many people here; you should at least save some face."

At first, it sounded like he was talking about himself, wanting to maintain some dignity, but looking into his eyes revealed the truth. His gaze lightly shifted towards Zhu Yan for a moment before quickly returning to Zhou Shi. It was clear that he was reminding her—

Prince Jian is here. Are you asking Wen Ruan to help Wen Ru and the Second Prince?

Zhou Shi's expression stiffened as she glared at him again, then gently turned back to Wen Ruan, patting his hand: "We're all family, after all. Age and seniority matter. Ah Ruan understands. When Sister Ru has a royal grandchild... there will be benefits for you."

Hmph, age and seniority matter, and he understands. Even using the possibility of pregnancy and having children as bargaining chips. Wen Yu almost laughed out loud. Let's see if Wen Ruan listens to you.

Sure enough, Wen Ruan pulled his hand away from Zhou Shi's, only a polite smile on his face as he remained silent.

However...

Wen Yu's pupils flickered as he repeatedly glanced at this newlywed couple, sensing the atmosphere between them. He found it somewhat incomprehensible.

He remembered in his previous life, how he had worked tirelessly to achieve this marriage arrangement. Zhu Yan had been cold and distant throughout, never taking the initiative. On their wedding night, he didn't even enter the bridal chamber. Wen Yu wanted to plead, hoping his husband would give him some face, but Zhu Yan pointed an arrow at him, smiling and saying yes, as long as he could withstand this shot without dying, he would agree.

So close, the arrowhead so sharp, aimed directly at his heart. How could he possibly withstand it!

He fled in panic that night and never begged the Sixth Prince again. He did everything he could in secret, hoping to assist the Sixth Prince in his endeavors. However, the Sixth Prince didn't care at all. Apart from his madness, he lacked ambition and didn't aspire to ascend. He bore the consequences of everything Wen Yu did. Whether it was being scolded and slapped by the imperial concubines in the palace or being bullied outside, even when others made lewd remarks, the Sixth Prince acted as if he didn't see anything. There was no comfort or concern, and he might even blame Wen Yu for causing trouble.

This man was fundamentally cold-hearted, obsessive, and insane.

But what had he heard these past two days? Rumors were spreading outside about deep marital affection, absurd tales of Prince Jian doting on his wife like a treasure!

It was said that he personally welcomed his bride during the wedding, carrying her to the bridal sedan chair. The wedding night went smoothly, with no signs of him leaving. Even yesterday in the palace, Wen Ruan somehow provoked an assassin, and it was Zhu Yan who saved the day, personally protecting him!

Wen Yu had been waiting here since early morning to see if it was true, but... he couldn't tell.

The two remained close, never more than a foot apart, appearing affectionate. But they didn't exchange much eye contact, nor did they engage in any intimate gestures. They didn't seem like newlyweds deeply in love... Could it be an act?

If that were the case, it would make sense.

A peculiar gleam flashed across Wen Yu's eyes. There must be some sort of deal, right? This younger brother of his was always full of tricks. From the banquet last time, it was evident that he was good at playing games. Coincidentally, Zhu Yan was a bit crazy and not entirely normal. Normal logic didn't work on him, but if it was about playfulness... he might find it interesting.

But dealing with a tiger, how could one know if the future would be bright?

Wen Yu thought it was foolish, yet at the same time, he felt a bit pleased.

After a moment of pleasure, he didn't feel as satisfied, because if that were the case... Wen Ruan wouldn't obtain true love. Without emotional nourishment, if he couldn't find it at home, he would inevitably seek it elsewhere. Wouldn't that still put him in danger! His beloved scholar, Jing Yuqing, mustn't be seen by Wen Ruan!

Wen Ru also felt awkward, extremely awkward. Especially after seeing her mother's obvious attempt to curry favor, she wanted to find a crack in the ground to hide in!

She had never known that being a concubine meant living such a life. Even if her husband was a prince and of noble status, she didn't receive much glory. Instead, the rules of the household constrained the concubines. She was indeed an exception due to her birth as the daughter of the Guogong Mansion, different from ordinary concubines. But that was only after she spent enormous effort making people happy, earning the benefits and face that came with it. If she failed in any aspect or overstepped her bounds, the main wife had a hundred ways to discipline her, leaving her speechless.

Even meeting her husband, the Second Prince, was governed by rules. She couldn't just see him whenever she wanted. In the palace, Imperial Concubine Zhen would only meet the main wife, leaving her no chance to show her devotion.

There was one thing, however. She could indeed suppress Ge Lingchun, her arch-rival from the Laiyuan Bo Mansion. Ge Lingchun was the concubine of the Third Prince. No matter how arrogant the Third Prince was outside, he wouldn't allow anyone to criticize him for violating propriety and morals, or rather, he could do it himself, but not his female relatives. Thus, as her 'younger sister-in-law,' if she ever met Ge Lingchun, she could indeed trample on her, making Ge Lingchun lose face while being unable to say a word in response. This would completely avenge the mockery and bullying Ge Lingchun inflicted upon her when she first entered the Third Prince's mansion.

But that was the extent of it. Everything else she once possessed was gone.

Such as her freedom, opportunities to go out and have fun, occasions to socialize, hosting small banquets to entertain relatives and friends, and the chance to stand out and gain recognition and praise. All of it was gone!

Those were the activities of a proper young lady, the mistress of the household. She was neither a young lady nor the main wife now. She was just a concubine, able to see only a small patch of sky in the backyard. Without the husband and main wife's permission, she couldn't do anything!

She hadn't even returned to her natal home, and it would be even less possible in the future. Today, she could only rely on Wen Ruan's influence. Empress Zhen had specifically sent a message to remind her, allowing her to receive instructions from the Second Prince and the main wife to come back for a visit. If she failed to handle the matters they expected of her... she didn't dare think about how she would live her future days.

This wasn't the life she wanted! Was she living her entire life for that wretched woman, Ge Lingchun?

But the deed was done, and life didn't offer regrets. What could she do?

She glared at Wen Yu, but then realized she couldn't blame him. At that time, she had been bewitched, insisting on going down this path. Wen Yu merely understood her, helping her devise plans. He even had to arrange a marriage with a man for her sake, ruining his promising future.

Wen Ru didn't understand how all this happened, how she ended up in this situation. She hadn't received sufficient respect and didn't want to do unwilling things under duress. But if she didn't, how would she survive in the future...

She was utterly lost, numbly staring off into space, unsure of where to go or what to do.

Zhou Shi pinched her hard: "Didn't you always talk about it before? Now that your brother is back, why don't you say something!"

Tears streamed down Wen Ru's face.

"All the things I've done... it was all my fault. If Brother blames me, then blame me. I won't dare do it again."

Zhou Shi: ...

I asked you to say a few soft words to Wen Ruan, not to kneel! By humiliating yourself like this, where does it leave the Second Prince? How can you confidently ask Wen Ruan to help you in the future!

Wen Ru wiped her tears and ran outside.

Zhou Shi was embarrassed: "Look at this..."

Wen Ruan: "My sister has only been married for a short time and misses home. It will get better later."

"Yes, yes, missing home. This child has always been emotionally attached..." Zhou Shi didn't dare say anything else. If she upset Wen Ruan, he might report back, and her daughter might suffer in the Second Prince's mansion.

Zhu Yan watched as Wen Ruan silenced everyone with a few words, finding nothing wrong with it. He even personally served him tea, worried that he might be thirsty.

Eating without speaking, sleeping without talking. The family feast for lunch was eaten in silence, devoid of flavor.

After the banquet, as soon as Wen Yu stepped out, he heard someone calling from the corner gate. His thoughts flickered, and he hurried over, discovering it was Jing Yuqing.

He held a book in his arms and carried two mooncakes in his hand, standing under the sun with a carefree and elegant demeanor. Even though his clothes weren't flashy, he was handsome and refined, akin to a gentleman.

"That day, you mentioned wanting to read this travelogue. Luckily, I found it..." Jing Yuqing smiled faintly, handing over the book and the mooncakes. "Today is the Mid-Autumn Festival. May you have long blessings and fulfill your wishes."

Wen Yu's heart warmed as he reached out to receive something, only to realize Jing Yuqing hadn't moved, seemingly lost in thought. When he looked up, his heart trembled violently—Wen Ruan had arrived, and Jing Yuqing was actually looking at him!

How did he get here! Was it time for him to leave so soon! Today was Mid-Autumn Festival; if one returned home, one must observe all the formalities. Did this mean he didn't plan on having dinner in the mansion?

"Thank you," Wen Yu gritted his teeth, subtly shifting his feet to block Jing Yuqing's view. Yet, he couldn't deny that Wen Ruan was too handsome, like the bright moonlight—how could it be obstructed?

Initially, Wen Ruan hadn't noticed Wen Yu and Jing Yuqing. Indeed, he didn't want to waste any more time in the mansion, but halfway through his departure, he realized he'd forgotten something. Nanxing and Lan Tian were occupied with other tasks, and Zhu Yan didn't wish for him to walk further, so he went back to fetch it himself. Wen Ruan couldn't refuse such kindness, so he slowly walked here to wait.

Standing there for long, one would inevitably see something... He sensed Wen Yu staring straight at him, as if wanting to say something, so he approached.

Instantly wary, Wen Yu stood before Jing Yuqing, shielding him from Wen Ruan's sight. "What are you doing!"

He felt incredibly unlucky, nothing going his way. Hadn't everything unfolded according to his plans? Hadn't he succeeded? Why did he still feel so insecure, lacking confidence? Even with Lady Liang, despite his efforts, she gave no response. Meanwhile, Wen Ruan always seemed to have good fortune, everything falling into place wherever he stepped.

Wen Ruan: ...

Such a strong reaction?

"You were staring at me just now; I thought you had something to say."

"No!" Wen Yu immediately refuted.

Jing Yuqing: "Who is this...?"

Despite all attempts to block the view, it was futile.

Wen Yu's lips twitched, a twisted smile appearing as he quickly winked at Jing Yuqing. "The Prince Jian's Consort, someone we can't aspire to reach."

Jing Yuqing paused for a moment. "I understand."

Wen Ruan: ...

What do you understand?

With that expression, it was hard not to suspect that Wen Yu might have spoken ill of him to this... individual?

Indeed, he guessed correctly. Wen Yu had been worried about such an encounter, subtly influencing Jing Yuqing, painting a negative picture of the Duke's Mansion and Wen Ruan, the found young master...

Jing Yuqing's "I understand" was a tacit acknowledgment: "Oh, that troublesome relative."

Wen Ruan sensed the atmosphere was strangely delicate, his gaze slowly turning towards Jing Yuqing... Was this person important? Why was Wen Yu so anxious, as if he was trying to snatch someone away?

Though decent-looking, his eyes lacked vitality, not quite lively enough.

He made friends without regard for trivialities, indifferent to wealth or status, but one had to make initial contact. What made Wen Yu think he would hold this person in high regard?

Wen Yu's heart raced with uncertainty. "Brother Qing, why don't you go back first? I'll find you later."

Jing Yuqing's brows furrowed slightly, concern evident. "Can you manage alone?"

Wen Yu nodded. "Don't worry, I'll be there soon."

Jing Yuqing turned and left.

Only then did Wen Yu exhale deeply, turning around to look straight into Wen Ruan's eyes. "His Highness Prince Jian once had someone close to his heart, did you know?"

Wen Ruan didn't know. He knew Wen Yu was intentionally provoking him, but already in a foul mood, he was looking for a fight, scoffing outright. "And what about you? You could have led a different life, haven't you ever considered it?"

He glanced at the Duke's Mansion's entrance and then at the book in Wen Yu's hand.

The dukedom's title could be sought by the eldest branch. Though Wen Yu had also gone missing, he was found many years ago. Surely, he had the ability to maneuver? What was wrong with being a younger son? Did it mean he couldn't inherit the title?

If he didn't care for the title, there was always the book.

Upon his return, he heard of Wen Yu's renowned talent throughout the capital, his abilities and charm known to all. Why did he only spread his name, not take the imperial exams, not enter the government to serve? Was officialdom unsatisfactory, or was life without constraints unappealing?

Wen Ruan stopped after making his point, leaving immediately after.

Watching his retreating figure, Wen Yu's heart pounded. Was...this possible? Could he actually consider it? In his previous life, he hadn't done so because he lacked the capability. This time around, knowing so much, whether it was the Duke's Mansion or the political arena, it seemed indeed feasible to strive for it. Why did he give up?

Ah, because there was a better choice.

With Jing Yuqing, the future top scholar and powerful minister, why exhaust oneself?

Yes, he hadn't chosen wrongly. He wouldn't choose wrongly...

Wen Yu returned to his room, placing the two mooncakes aside, then headed to Jing Yuqing's home.

The cramped house, the kitchen that could never be fully cleaned of dust, the front gate devoid of servants—all spoke of poverty.

Moving inside, he saw the two mooncakes on the hall table, identical to those Jing Yuqing had given him.

It seemed four had been bought, half a kilogram each, with half given to him, the rest remaining here, prepared for consumption with his mother that evening...

So impoverished.

Wen Yu recalled Wen Ruan's return to the Prince Jian's Mansion, the gifts prepared for the festival. Considering today's importance, every man engaged would send gifts to his fiancée's family. Jing Yuqing had only given him two mooncakes, personally delivered, without informing his elders or paying respects...

Jing Yuqing was changing clothes when his widowed mother came out to greet him. Though smiling, her inquiries and concerns masked ulterior motives, her eyes darting about, calculating, eager to see what he brought—money or goods. If money, how much? If goods, were they useful, should they be sold, and for how much...

This widow was dissatisfied with her son marrying a male spouse. Wen Yu had heard her cursing in the alley, her words vile.

Was this the life he had painstakingly planned for?

Wen Yu closed his eyes, taking deep breaths, consoling himself—it was merely a few days of hardship. Once Jing Yuqing passed the exams and embarked on his path as a powerful minister, his good days would come...

Wen Ruan must have experienced similar times in his past life. If Wen Ruan could endure, why couldn't he? He could even do better than Wen Ruan!

Wen Ruan, driven by a sudden impulse, stepped out without waiting for anyone, and unwilling to turn back, he began to stroll leisurely down the street.

Suddenly, the loud sound of hooves echoed from behind him. Before he could even look back, a warm, strong hand encircled his waist, lifting him onto the back of a horse.

Zhu Yan, holding him close, let his deep voice fall upon Wen Ruan's ear. "Why didn't you wait for me? Hm?"

The wind blew fiercely against their faces, intensified by their speed, mirroring the pounding of their hearts.

Wen Ruan replied, "I didn't want to wait."

"Very well, Ah Ruan need not wait any longer."

Zhu Yan tightened his embrace, urging the horse to gallop faster towards the city gates. "I will come to you myself."