### Chapter 0001 Nonsense

### Chapter 0001 Nonsense

In the sixth year of Shengde, the Chi You banner appeared in the north, and the planet Jupiter was in the east.

War broke out, generals died, the land was engulfed in flames, and the Purple Star was about to shift. ... *

Outside Pingyang, the line of people entering the city was moving slowly.

A donkey cart approached and stopped at the end of the queue.

Noticing that the donkey cart had slowed down, a young boy with a furry head popped out from the back of the simple carriage. He looked to be around fourteen or fifteen years old, clearly dressed as a servant.

Seeing that they had reached the city gate, he quickly went back inside and said to another person in the cart, "Master, we're here, we've arrived in Pingyang!"

Nowadays, nobles usually travel by horse or ox carts, while ordinary wealthy merchants and commoners use donkey carts. Donkey carts lack complete enclosures, sometimes even without a roof, so everyone around them curiously peered inside.

When they saw what was inside, they were stunned, unable to move.

Inside the carriage, there was a young man whose appearance could be described as exquisite, like a celestial being. He leaned against the side of the cart, his face pale and his breath faint, as if he were ill.

Those who could walk into the city were mostly illiterate commoners, unable to come up with elaborate words, but they sincerely admired him in their hearts. How beautiful! ...

At this moment, the young man, who had been dozing with his eyes closed, opened them. His dark eyelashes lifted slightly, revealing clear and elegant eyes.

He seemed somewhat distant, but it was forgivable, for he was truly handsome. ...

As soon as he showed an intention to move, his servant immediately reached out to help him up. However, just as he shifted, he couldn't help but start coughing, his illness making everyone's hearts ache.

This was an era where a slight fever could be fatal. The people around him had gone from awe to concern.

Seeing the plaque with the words "Pingyang" hanging on the old city gate nearby, Xiao Rong felt a slight relief.

Throughout the journey, he hadn't dared to rest, pushing his frail body to its limits to reach here. Fortunately, his efforts had paid off, and he finally made it.

Feeling a bit excited, for the journey had been incredibly difficult, he couldn't wait to enter the city.

He looked around and found an elderly woman who seemed approachable. Leaning against the carriage, he asked her, "Old lady, do you know if the Northern Pacification King is outside or inside Pingyang?"

Xiao Rong thought anyone would know where the Northern Pacification King was, given his fame. If the king was with the army, he wouldn't have to wait in line to enter the city.

The elderly woman did not disappoint him; she indeed knew where the king was.

She was surprised that such a celestial being would speak to her. "The Northern Pacification King? He left a few days ago with the Northern Pacification Army, saying he was going to fight Wusun."

The elderly woman answered enthusiastically, but upon hearing this, Xiao Rong's smile froze.

"... Left?"

"Again?"

"I chased him from New Peace to Huaiyin, then from Huaiyin to Liangzhou, and now all the way to this damned Pingyang, and you tell me he... has... left again?!"

"Is it the heavens playing with me or him playing with me?! I traveled three thousand miles, and now you say he's gone again. Tell me, where did he go, which direction, east, west, south, north, center, or whatever, tell me!"

The elderly woman: "..."

She and the crowd took a step back in fear, as Xiao Rong stood up from the cart with a grimace, grabbing the sides and leaning out aggressively, looking as if he might devour someone—perhaps even two or three.

However, before the elderly woman could utter a word, Xiao Rong suddenly stiffened, overcome by a familiar wave of weakness. In the next instant, he fainted, rolling his eyes.

His servant cried out, "Master!"

He caught Xiao Rong and heard him mutter a final, agonizing sentence in his unconscious state.

"Qu Yunmie, you dog, I... I will kill you!"

Servant: "..."

* * *

At the same time, two hundred miles away from Pingyang, the Northern Pacification Army had set up camp outside Anding City.

The elderly woman's information was incorrect. The Northern Pacification King had not led the army to fight Wusun; Wusun had already withdrawn. Instead, the Xiongnu had returned, seeking revenge, but their numbers were too small to pose a significant threat. Such a minor issue didn't require the Northern Pacification King's presence, but he preferred not to stay in Pingyang and listen to the same old stories, so he decided to lead the troops and get some fresh air.

But even after leaving, things were still not peaceful.

The current situation was complex, divided into two parts by the Huai River. The southern region was ruled by the so-called legitimate Yong Dynasty, known as Southern Yong. The northern region had been occupied by barbarians and controlled by warlords for the past decade until the Northern Pacification Army unified it this year. Qu Yunmie, as the Northern Pacification King, had not declared himself emperor nor established his own era name, but he was the ruler of this land.

There were also smaller factions and barbarian forces, but they were not significant. Everyone knew only two people: the eight-year-old emperor of Southern Yong and the young and renowned Qu Yunmie.

Heroes emerge in times of chaos, and heroes seek fame either by declaring themselves kings or finding a patron who appreciates them.

Thus, every day, people came to the Northern Pacification Army, expressing their desire to join the Northern Pacification King.

Today, one such person arrived, reportedly a former governor of Jinning, with a mother from the prominent Wu Ling Jing family. He had never served as a strategist but believed that Qu Yunmie was the greatest hero in the world, so he came to offer his services.

Qu Yunmie had him brought in, neither warmly nor coldly, offering him tea and a seat, showing him respect. As he spoke, Qu Yunmie listened patiently.

Initially, the man was nervous because Qu Yunmie was tall, standing at nearly six and a half feet, extremely handsome, yet exuding a murderous aura due to the bloodshed he had seen. He sat with his legs spread wide, seemingly relaxed but subtly aggressive, with his toes pointed towards the guest.

This impression made the man feel reassured when he saw Qu Yunmie's impeccable hospitality. He thought Qu Yunmie must be easy to talk to.

He began reciting his prepared speech, and after finishing, he received an encouraging nod from Qu Yunmie, who smiled wider, seeming to agree with his views. Encouraged, he continued to share his proposed solutions.

After speaking until he was parched, he finally finished. Qu Yunmie raised his arms and clapped, smiling. "Excellent insights, sir."

The man realized he had gotten carried away and modestly bowed his head. "Where, where, Your Majesty, if you don't mind—"

Before he could finish his sentence, a flash of cold light appeared before him. With a clang, his head rolled to the ground along with his stunned eyes.

On the other side, Qu Yunmie sheathed his long saber and sat down expressionlessly. He kicked away the still-warm head that had rolled to his feet, picked up a piece of leather nearby, and began to meticulously wipe the blood off the blade.

The guards nearby dared not breathe loudly; they silently stepped forward and carried out the corpse and the head.

After the guards left, he was alone in the tent. The bloodstains on the ground and the smell of blood in the air were as common to him as daily bread. He did not care that he had killed someone again, nor did he care about the person's reputation or connections with the prominent clans. He cared even less about how this person's death would further tarnish his own reputation.

Once he finished cleaning the blade, he stood up again, walked to the pool of blood, and looked at the glaring red without a hint of remorse. He even sneered and sarcastically said, "A monkey wearing a crown, vermin of snakes and rats, truly worthy of being a literate man."*

In Pingyang City, at night.

Xiao Rong had too many things in his life that he could not understand.

He could not understand how he ended up in his current situation, nor could he understand how Qu Yunmie, that living father, managed to get himself killed.

The history books he had read were not detailed enough to record every word Qu Yunmie had spoken or every meal he had eaten. Even though he remembered all the major events, he always fell into traps when he least expected them.

For example, now, in the sixth year of Shengde, this was the pinnacle moment of Qu Yunmie's life. He had reclaimed the north, driven away the Wusun and the Xiongnu, made a non-aggression pact with Shanshan, and even his mortal enemy, the Xianbei, was like a grasshopper after autumn, unable to jump much longer.

He was undoubtedly a great hero. If he was second, no one could be first.

None of the tragedies and misfortunes that followed had happened yet. Logically, this should have been the best time for him, with the strongest luck. So why did he still stir up trouble from time to time?

Xiao Rong could not understand why Qu Yunmie tortured himself every day, nor could he understand why the system thought he was the most likely person to change Qu Yunmie's fate.

Was it because he had read too many history books? If he had known, he would not have read history books and watched more cartoons instead!...

Xiao Rong lay on the bed, feeling hopeless. After a while, the door opened, and Ah Shu, his servant, came in with concern, carrying food: "Master, have some food. I went out and found out that the Northern Pacification King just left a few days ago. If we hurry, we can catch up."

Xiao Rong: "...Catch up?!"

Qu Yunmie had zero survival skills but was a top-notch horseman! Xiao Rong did not know whether he rode a fast horse or a cloud, but he had run until he vomited blood and still could not catch up. Qu Yunmie was leading an army, while he only had a child with him. If he continued chasing, he feared he might die halfway.

No, he could not chase anymore.

Xiao Rong, with a grim face, decided to change his strategy: "No, let's stay here. I've thought it through. Persistence is not business. From today on, I will no longer chase him. I want him to come find me, no, to invite me!"

Since he could not catch up anyway, he might as well be weak in the inn. He did not believe that with 1500 years of knowledge, he could not fool an ancient hothead. ...

Ah Shu followed Xiao Rong's orders without objection. As for the other driver, he settled his accounts and left.

The driver often traveled between major cities and knew the staff at the inn. A staff member secretly pulled him aside to ask about Xiao Rong.

He had no ill intentions, just curiosity.

"This young master is so handsome! Is he from a prominent family? When I brought water in, he thanked me. It was such an honor!"

The driver looked at him with a complicated expression, "You kid, don't forget that appearances can be deceiving."

The staff member was taken aback, "What, does this young master have a golden exterior but a rotten core?"

The driver sighed, looked around to make sure no one else was there, and beckoned the staff member closer. The staff member hurried over, and then the driver spilled what he had been holding back.

"How could it be just that! I've never seen anyone like him in my life. He looks good, but the problems he has are countless. First, he's more delicate than a lady. If you rub his face too hard, he cries out in pain. If the carriage jolts, he complains. He sighs constantly, as if I owe him something. Second, he's really weak. He faints every three days and coughs up blood every five. On this journey, I was always afraid he would die, and no one would pay me. Third, his temper is terrible, with no gentlemanly demeanor. He acts more like a street hag. Fourth, he's extremely picky. He compares prices for everything and counts every coin. Who has ever seen a young master like that? Fifth, he's strange. Whenever he's awake, he mutters to himself, saying things no one understands. He's probably beyond help. Sixth—"

The staff member, overwhelmed by the list, grabbed the driver's hand, "There's more?!"

Seeing the staff member's despair, the driver understood. When he first met Xiao Rong, he was also excited, but the disillusionment was real.

Thinking for a moment, he patted the staff member's shoulder, "Actually, the journey wasn't that hard. After all, Xiao Rong is really handsome. Looking at his face, I can tolerate any problem."

The staff member: "…………"*

At the same time, in the camp of the Northern Pacification Army, voices could be heard faintly from the king's tent. After a long while, the curtain lifted, and an elderly man dressed in scholar's robes emerged.

He sighed helplessly, shook his head slowly, and returned to his own tent.

Someone was already waiting inside.

When Jian Qiao saw him return, he immediately asked, "Mr. Gao, how is it?"

Gao Xunzhi, hearing someone speak, looked up, saw it was Jian Qiao, and his expression softened: "General Jian, the king said that the man suggested recognizing his ancestry and posthumously honoring General Qu, showing his commitment to the Central Plains to win over the people."

Jian Qiao: "..."

Well, this person died unjustly.

For a typical hetero-king, this approach would work. After all, this was an era when the Hu people repeatedly invaded the Central Plains, and the people of the Central Plains hated the Hu. However, their king, Qu Yunmie, was a mixed-blood of Central Plains and foreign descent. This suggestion was a subtle way of telling Qu Yunmie to abandon half of his heritage and live solely as a Central Plains person.

If that were all, it would be fine. But their king's maternal clan had fought loyally alongside him, showing no less zeal in killing the Hu than the Central Plains people. Abandoning his heritage meant abandoning these people as well.

The king would never do that. ...

Hearing the reason, Jian Qiao breathed a sigh of relief. He also believed this person deserved to die. Gao Xunzhi looked at him, feeling even heavier-hearted.

As a scholar, he saw the consequences of the king's actions differently from these rough soldiers.

Once news of this spread, it would be a long time before any scholars would join the king.

So, he needed to act preemptively.

Gao Xunzhi said solemnly, "The king needs more advisors. General Jian, I just discussed with the king that you should return to Yanmen Pass. Once there, scout for talented individuals regardless of their background or past, as long as they have true abilities."

Jian Qiao: "..."

Isn't that a bit desperate?

Ignoring background is fine, but ignoring past deeds? What if they were former bandits?

Gao Xunzhi, in his fifties, was a close friend of Qu Yunmie's father and had dedicated himself to helping the Northern Pacification Army for years. His prestige within the army was high, and although Jian Qiao muttered inwardly, he still agreed.

And just as he was about to leave to handle the matter, Gao Xunzhi called him back and solemnly instructed him.

"Although we don't discriminate based on origin or past, we still need to consider the King's preferences."

Jian Qiao suddenly understood, nodding repeatedly. Yes, their King was a man of clear love and hate. If they brought back someone the King disliked, it wouldn't be long before that person met their end.

He immediately stood straight, ready for orders. "Mr. Gao, please enlighten me."

Gao Xunzhi: "First, the King dislikes overly sensitive people. Even if not a robust man, they mustn't be effeminate; second, they must be strong and healthy. The King loves to go on expeditions, so how can someone without good health do? Besides, the King despises those weaklings who cough every few steps; third, the King already has a bad temper, so the advisor must be mild-mannered. You know, the King prefers softness over hardness; if someone with a hard temper comes, there will surely be bloodshed; fourth, the King hates those who are petty and only see gold and silver. Remember, don't bring such a person back; fifth, nowadays, the Breeze Sect and the Buddhist and Taoist sects are prevalent, but there are more takers than givers. Don't invite anyone who talks about the supernatural all the time; sixth—"

Jian Qiao: "... Mr. Gao, there's more?"

Gao Xunzhi paused and said, "This is the last one. Sixth, and most importantly, it doesn't matter if they are plain or ugly, but they must not be beautiful. The King particularly detests such men. If you bring back someone like that, both of us will suffer the consequences."

Jian Qiao couldn't help but glance towards the King's tent, recalling the King's usual behavior, and silently nodded.

After he left, Gao Xunzhi pondered with his hands behind his back.

While there are many conditions, upon careful thought, they are not too stringent. Most people won't meet any of them. If someone met all of them...

Ha, what nonsense, it's simply impossible.

Author's note:

The story begins. Daily updates at midnight. I'll take a break if I can't update.