Chapter 0157 Torment

Chapter 0157 Torment

After descending from the roof, the courtyard was empty except for a few guards with their heads bowed, and no one else.

Qu Yunmie escorted Xiao Rong back to his courtyard. He stood outside, watching as Xiao Rong slowly entered his room. Before closing the door, Xiao Rong leaned against the door frame and turned to look back. Qu Yunmie stood three paces away, near the archway, like a majestic statue in the interplay of light and shadow.

Xiao Rong lowered his head and turned to enter.

On the other side, Ah Shu sat in his small room sobbing. Though he was physically an adult, his mind seemed that of a child. He cried uncontrollably, wiping his eyes with his sleeves, but the tears only increased. Not wanting others to hear, he tried hard to stifle his sobs, but the sound still reached Qu Yunmie's ears. Qu Yunmie looked at the door he had never noticed before and, after a while, left.

The next day was another sunny day. By the hour of Chen, sunlight flooded the streets, reflecting off the remaining snow with a blinding white light. The world seemed brighter than ever, a sight unseen in summer, clear and somewhat warm, warming people's hearts.

It was time for Xiao Rong to wake up. Ah Shu knocked twice, heard Xiao Rong's response, and then entered to bring water and tea, asking what he wanted for breakfast, and helped pack his luggage.

Not long after, Gao Xunzhi arrived. He looked at Xiao Rong and smiled, perhaps the most awkward smile since they met. An elderly man nearing sixty acted like a child in front of Xiao Rong. After hesitating, he took out a pouch from his sleeve, bulging with contents. Xiao Rong opened it to find travel documents, Gao Xunzhi's private seal, two strings of large coins, dozens of small coins, some silver pieces, and a stack of gold ingots at the bottom.

This small bag weighed about five pounds. Gao Xunzhi felt uneasy, fearing Xiao Rong might not want it.

Money wasn't the issue, but holding Gao Xunzhi's documents meant Gao Xunzhi would know where he went. The private seal was for emergencies; if anything happened on the road, he could use it to contact Prime Minister Gao immediately.

Gao Xunzhi feared Xiao Rong wouldn't even want these.

But after a moment of silence, Xiao Rong looked up and smiled at Gao Xunzhi, then placed the pouch in his luggage.

After Gao Xunzhi left, Yu Shaoxie came, followed by Song Shuo who rushed over upon hearing the news. Even Zhang Biezhi made a trip, bringing four meat pies baked by the Zhang family that morning.

Zhang Biezhi, likely scolded by his sister and brother-in-law at home, did not say anything inappropriate. He kept his head down and spoke in a melancholic tone: "My sister asked me to bring these for you to eat on the road. It's cold now, so they won't spoil. Don't neglect yourself on the journey. Rest at an inn if you're tired and have the innkeeper heat them up."

Xiao Rong looked at him, reached out to take the pies, and his small bundle was nearly turning into a backpack. But regardless of what others gave him, he accepted everything.

Qu Yunmie said he would send Xiao Rong away today, but didn't specify the time. Xiao Rong didn't seek him out either, just waited. Everyone had come to see him, except Xiao Yi. They lived in the same courtyard, and a turn would reveal each other, yet Xiao Yi's door remained closed, unsure if he was inside.

After checking his belongings again, seeing the sun approaching noon, Xiao Rong decided to visit Xiao Yi. As he lingered outside Xiao Yi's door, he caught a glimpse of a plump figure darting past. He turned quickly but only saw Chen hastily returning to her room.

Xiao Rong: "…"

Just as he wondered what was happening, Ah Shu ran over from the other side: "Master, the—"

Pausing, he corrected himself: "Emperor has arrived."

Xiao Rong was stunned for a moment, then responded with an "oh" and followed Ah Shu back.

After Xiao Rong left, Xiao Yi opened his window, catching only the hem of Xiao Rong's robe before it disappeared from view.

Xiao Yi slammed the window shut. The dimly lit room was scattered with papers, some intact, some crumpled. These were the articles he had written, proof of his diligence. Standing amidst the mess, Xiao Yi's mood did not improve. He still felt angry and wronged.

He wanted to cry but took a deep breath and held back the tears. He squatted down, picking up the crumpled papers one by one, smoothing them out, and categorizing them neatly.

Then, he sat at the table, picked up his brush, and continued his usual practice. However, as he wrote, the ink blurred on the paper.

Xiao Yi paused briefly but continued writing as if nothing had happened.

Xiao Rong, carrying his bundle, went out to find Qu Yunmie. Qu Yunmie led a pure black horse and waited for him outside the archway.

Initially, Qu Yunmie's mood was heavy, but seeing Xiao Rong with a bundle larger than his upper body, even Qu Yunmie couldn't help but feel a subtle amusement.

Xiao Rong, noticing Qu Yunmie staring at his bundle, awkwardly smiled: "Heavy with love."

Qu Yunmie: "…"

He helped Xiao Rong remove the bundle and threw it onto the horse's back, almost causing the horse to suffer from a slipped disc. Xiao Rong walked over, stroked the horse's mane, and the horse reciprocated by licking his face. How gentle.

This must have been a mount specially chosen by Qu Yunmie. Xiao Rong patted the massive horse's head and turned to Qu Yunmie with a smile: "Shall we go?"

Qu Yunmie looked at him, then nodded after a moment.

Xiao Rong actually didn't want to leave today. He wanted to wait until after the coronation ceremony to fulfill his promises, such as personally escorting Sun Renluan home and presiding over the opening of the first official bookstore. But since Qu Yunmie said so, Xiao Rong didn't object.

Any day would be the same, perhaps leaving earlier was better.

Qu Yunmie led the reins, and Xiao Rong walked beside him. Their steps were slow, and even an elderly man with a cane passed them.

No one spoke during the first half of the journey. In the latter half, Xiao Rong suddenly spoke: "Find someone to escort Sun Renluan back to Pingyang before the ceremony. He is different from others, and we should respect him to avoid hurting his feelings."

Qu Yunmie: "Alright."

Xiao Rong blinked and added: "Yang Zangyi has too many schemes. Keep your distance from him. If you're unsure, consult Prime Minister Gao or Yu Shaoxie. Both can give you fair advice. Song Shuo needs more experience, but you don't need to personally mentor him. Hand him over to Prime Minister Gao and avoid being alone with him."

Otherwise, Xiao Rong feared Song Shuo might not live to see twenty-five.

Qu Yunmie: "Alright."

Xiao Rong turned his head, looking at Qu Yunmie's profile, and smiled: "Agriculture is crucial. Winter is ending, and spring is approaching. I discussed with the monk how the new emperor should benefit the realm in the first year. Perhaps this year, you should focus on reducing taxes and ensuring every household has enough food before expanding territory."

Qu Yunmie suddenly turned his head, his nerves tightening at the mention of the first year.

But he didn't say anything, simply responding: "…Alright."

Hearing this "alright," Xiao Rong opened his mouth, then turned it into a smile, nodded, and fell silent.

No matter how long the road, it eventually ends. Leaving the city gates, passing several tea stalls, when even the stalls were behind them, Qu Yunmie stopped.

Xiao Rong continued walking, but the figure that always blocked his view was gone. He paused and turned around.

Qu Yunmie handed him the reins. At this point, if he didn't speak, it would seem like he was sulking. But he didn't want Xiao Rong to feel that way.

Standing under the impartial sunlight, Qu Yunmie asked Xiao Rong: "How long will you be gone?"

Xiao Rong shook his head: "I don't know—"

Qu Yunmie: "Give me a rough timeframe. It's fine if it's not accurate."

Xiao Rong pursed his lips and after a moment replied, "A few months, three or four months."

Qu Yunmie looked at him, thinking to himself, it could also be a year, several years, right?

But if he were gone for several years, that would mean Xiao Rong enjoyed such a life. Then why would he come back?

Qu Yunmie lowered his eyes and nodded absentmindedly, "Alright, four months."

Seeing this, Xiao Rong fell silent for a moment before lowering his head and unfastening the Chi Dragon Sword from his waist.

From the first time Qu Yunmie saw this sword, he had wanted it, but Xiao Rong always guarded it closely. He didn't let Qu Yunmie see it before, touch it later, and finally wouldn't even allow him to secretly sharpen it.

Now, he placed the sword in Qu Yunmie's hands, but Qu Yunmie seemed to no longer want it as much.

Xiao Rong pried open Qu Yunmie's hand and made him grip the sword tighter so it wouldn't fall.

Then, he said to Qu Yunmie's dark eyes, "This is collateral."

"When I return, you must give it back to me."

Qu Yunmie looked at the slender Chi Dragon Sword in his hand. When he raised his head again, Xiao Rong had already turned around and was leading the horse forward. Today was an exceptionally good day, and under such clear skies, any solemn occasion seemed out of place. His lover was about to leave, and even though he said he would return, Qu Yunmie still couldn't believe him. Even with a ninety-nine percent chance that Xiao Rong would ultimately choose him, as long as there was that last bit of uncertainty, Qu Yunmie felt as if the whole world had abandoned him.

The sun faded, the trees turned yellow, and the birds' calls became harsh and mocking. Everything seemed to have changed.

When everything turned old and dull, only the Chi Dragon Sword in Qu Yunmie's hand remained vibrant, the only glimmer of hope in his heart. If one day even it began to fade, what else would there be left to hope for in this world?

Xiao Rong did not look back because he couldn't afford to. If he did, he would soften.

He didn't know where he was going, just heading east. Although he was leading a horse, he seemed to have forgotten he could ride it. Not until his legs grew sore did he realize he had walked for two hours. There was no one on the official road, so he found a tree, fed the horse first, and then fed himself.

At this point, he no longer had immortality. If he encountered bandits, the outcome would be uncertain. However, Dong Fang Jin had given him a dagger, imbued with a lethal poison inspired by Han Qing. The poison formula came from the Xianbei palace, and according to Dong Fang Jin, it worked very well.

In addition, he had knockout drugs, laxatives, and anesthesia. Xiao Rong didn't need to worry about encountering a black inn; he was a black inn himself.

Moreover, no one truly trusted him to travel alone. From the moment Qu Yunmie agreed to let Xiao Rong leave last night, several groups of people had been stationed along the official roads. No matter where Xiao Rong went, someone would follow him secretly.

Xiao Rong knew this but had no intention of shaking them off.

He simply wanted some peace and quiet away from the noise and the arena of fame and fortune, to experience the life of an ordinary person. As long as they didn't disturb him, Xiao Rong didn't mind their presence.

Sitting under the tree, Xiao Rong was a bit dazed. He wasn't just appeasing Qu Yunmie; he genuinely believed three or four months would be enough. But the coronation ceremony was scheduled for February 2nd, which the Taoist priests had deemed an auspicious date.

The coronation ceremony was complex and tedious, with no audience allowed. If Xiao Rong participated, he would have to endure it like everyone else. He disliked such occasions, but the thought of missing Qu Yunmie's formal ascension to the throne made him feel regretful.

Sighing, he rubbed his face and rummaged through his bag for meat pies. Seeing a corner of a pie, he reached in, but instead touched a cold little object.

Xiao Rong pulled it out and found it was a jade pendant.

The quality wasn't great, white but slightly yellow, with many yellow spots along the edges.

This was a jade pendant every member of the Xiao family had, but this one was engraved with the character "Rong."

Elders only gave these pendants when a child was born, not when they turned twenty. And Xiao Rong had never said he lost his; he only said he put it away.

As Xiao Rong stared at the pendant, in Chenliu, an elderly woman named Chen also held a jade pendant, polishing and caressing it repeatedly.

Her pendant was engraved with the character "Rong."

How could a grandmother forget her eldest grandson? Sometimes she had to pretend to forget, but when no one was around, she would secretly take out the pendant, touch it, and feel the pain.

She had planned to give the pendant to Xiao Rong when she was on her deathbed, but her life... had too little connection with her descendants. Well, as long as the child was well...

Xiao Rong stared blankly at the pendant in his hand. After a while, he bent down and removed the jadeite hanging from his clothes, replacing it with the jade pendant.

Feeling the slightly rough pendant, Xiao Rong suddenly made a decision.

He would travel and enjoy the scenery, savor every landscape and taste every local delicacy. He needed to live fully to honor those who cared for him.

He decided not to eat the meat pies anymore. Instead, he mounted his horse and galloped toward the next city.

On the road, he hurried; in the city, he rested, booking the best room, sleeping until he woke naturally, and then venturing out to find delicious food. While eating, he asked the innkeepers about interesting places nearby. After asking twice, he changed his question to ask about scenic spots.

Not everything went smoothly. A thief tried to steal his money and threatened him with a knife. Xiao Rong, with his agile body, dodged easily. Watching Qu Yunmie beat wooden stakes countless times, Xiao Rong couldn't master the essence but learned the basics. Pinning the young thief to the ground, Xiao Rong received applause from the entire street.

Hearing the praise around him, Xiao Rong smiled awkwardly but stood there, listening until he had heard enough before leaving.

His beauty always earned him some leniency. Xiao Rong realized he had forgotten this, as everyone in the Northern Pacification Army treated him respectfully. Outside the army, people were divided into friends and enemies.

Now he was no longer the Northern Pacification King's Xiao Situ, and no one looked at him with hatred. He was just an exceptionally handsome ordinary man. People gave way to him in queues, waiters served him extra dishes, and girls outside cosmetic shops giggled and insisted on giving him free scented handkerchiefs.

See, this was Xiao Rong's life.

He could thrive anywhere, despite his flaws. He was indeed favored by fate. His arrogance, narcissism, and self-centeredness were natural, as he had lived this way all his life. People inherently treated him well, and things others cherished meant little to him.

Xiao Rong had changed a lot, but human nature doesn't change easily. Qu Yunmie was still stubborn, and so was Xiao Rong. Once he set his mind on something, he had to do it, or he would keep thinking about it and trying to achieve it.

It wasn't about right or wrong, nor about significance. Life isn't a test paper with absolute answers or a teacher grading you. Others' words are just that—others'. Your feelings are your own.

Xiao Rong needed this journey to find peace, nothing more. Whether it was about fairness, reclaiming his life, or testing whether he and Qu Yunmie truly couldn't live without each other, all boiled down to one word—peace.

He only wanted peace.

He stayed in this city for three days before moving on to the next one. Heading east, the end was the Eastern Sea. Xiao Rong had no particular attachment to the sea and didn't know if he would reach the coast.

The second city wasn't as picturesque as the first. It was poorer, and Xiao Rong struggled to find a decent restaurant. The best cuisine was served at a brothel, where the ground floor featured performances by courtesans, and the upper floors were private rooms.

Xiao Rong wandered around the town for a day and eventually realized there was nowhere else to go. Adhering to the principle of "since I'm here," he finally entered the brothel, deciding it might broaden his horizons.

With his looks, Xiao Rong caused quite a stir as soon as he walked in. The girls would gladly dance for him even without money, but Xiao Rong warily watched the madam, insisting that he wouldn't go upstairs. He would stay on the first floor to eat and watch the dances.

The girls felt a bit disappointed but still did as he said. There were more dancers today than usual, and each one performed with great enthusiasm.

Xiao Rong took a bite, then glanced around. He had to admit that this brothel deserved its status as a local landmark. Even in the eyes of someone like him, who knew the trade well, the girls danced exceptionally well.

As he watched, an itch began to form within him; he wanted to dance too.

Amidst the red lights and wine, Xiao Rong's gaze gradually became hazy. Through the dancing girls, he could almost see himself standing there, performing.

But only by himself.

Naturally, it was only him. He was proud and picky, unwilling to be seen as just another male performer. But the reality was that if he danced, everyone would look down on him.

So he couldn't have a partner or an audience; he could only dance for himself, at least here.

After the dance ended, Xiao Rong placed some money on the table and left. He returned to the inn, slept for a while, and departed early the next morning from this dull town.

Continuing eastward, halfway through his journey, a strong wind suddenly blew up. Fortunately, there was an inn not far ahead, so he stayed there.

The wind howled fiercely, making the weather terrible. Trapped inside, Xiao Rong had nothing to do but read.

He developed a good habit of reading when he was fifteen, which helped him adapt to life in ancient times.

The wind outside whistled, rattling the windows and causing them to bang against the frames. Feeling a bit cold near the window, Xiao Rong moved to sit on the bed. Soon after, a server came in with hot water and dinner, reassuring him that the winds were normal every year and the house was sturdy.

Xiao Rong smiled, gave the server a tip, and went to wash his hands before sitting down to eat alone.

What was wrong with eating alone? Xiao Rong used to travel and eat hot pot by himself. He had done so just days ago. Why did it feel strange today?

Looking around, puzzled, he finished his meal quickly and went to sleep.

The wind blew during the day but stopped by night. However, the inn's walls weren't soundproof, and the snoring from the neighboring room drifted over.

The server, accustomed to the noise, was dozing off on the first floor. When he heard footsteps, he raised his head groggily and saw the gentleman. He stood up immediately, showing no sign of annoyance, and asked with concern, "Sir, where are you going at this hour?"

Xiao Rong, struggling to balance his large bag, spoke briefly: "It's too noisy."

The server was taken aback and offered, "Let me find you a quieter room."

Xiao Rong shook his head: "No need, I'm leaving."

Opening the door, he found the courtyard bathed in clear moonlight. The wind had scattered the clouds, and the moon shone brightly tonight.

Xiao Rong looked up at the moon, then went to fetch his horse, placing his bag on it and leading it out.

This inn had a poetic ambiance. The owner was an elderly man whose family had run the inn for generations, maintaining both the interior and exterior beautifully. Grapevines grew within the courtyard, and fig trees outside.

Leading his horse out of the courtyard gate, Xiao Rong noticed someone suddenly waking up beneath the fig tree. His first reaction was to climb the tree, but it was a short fig tree, barely ten feet tall.

He probably would have broken it climbing up.

Xiao Rong stared at Qu Yunmie in surprise, and Qu Yunmie awkwardly returned the gaze.

Silence enveloped everything except for Xiao Rong's horse, which snorted impatiently. Others silently lay on the rooftops, hid behind rocks, or simply closed their eyes and mouths, blending into the darkness.

How many days had they been apart? Six, seven?

Xiao Rong: "…I thought you were in Chenliu."

Qu Yunmie remained silent.

Xiao Rong released the reins and stepped closer: "Have you been following me all along? Does the Chancellor know about this?"

Qu Yunmie: "…"

He answered weakly: "No one has come looking for me."

Xiao Rong: "…………"

He didn't know what to say. After a moment, he asked, "Why are you staying out here? Why don't you go inside?"

Qu Yunmie: "……"

His voice grew softer: "Afraid you'd notice."

Xiao Rong widened his eyes: "So you've been guarding outside all these days? The new emperor sleeping on the streets?!"

Xiao Rong's voice was filled with shock, making Qu Yunmie feel embarrassed. He defended himself: "I can always find a place to stay in the city!"

"……"

Both felt even more awkward after that. Qu Yunmie hadn't expected Xiao Rong to leave so suddenly. He usually slept until late morning, caught off guard now. Thinking quickly, he tried to salvage the situation.

"Why are you leaving in the middle of the night? Is there something wrong with the inn?"

Xiao Rong shifted his weight from one foot to the other, hesitating before answering, which made Qu Yunmie more certain of his guess.

If it was a black inn, he would tear it down tonight.

Xiao Rong slowly replied: "No, it's just too noisy inside. I can't stay."

Qu Yunmie: "……" Oh, wrong guess.

He said: "There's only one inn thirty miles east. Traveling at night is dangerous."

Xiao Rong glanced at him: "What could be more dangerous than you?"

Qu Yunmie: "…………"

Switching his stance again, Xiao Rong said, "Besides, I'm not going east."

Qu Yunmie was taken aback. Before he could ponder the meaning of Xiao Rong's words, Xiao Rong had already lowered his head and kicked at the dry grass on the ground, then muttered, "Living outside is uncomfortable. I want to go home."

"Go... home?"

Qu Yunmie's voice was filled with uncertainty. Even though Xiao Rong had spoken so clearly, he still needed to confirm it.

Taking a deep breath, Xiao Rong lifted his head, exhaling as he smiled at Qu Yunmie. "Yeah, back to my life where I'm second only to one and above ten thousand others. I'll sneak back and surprise everyone."

Xiao Rong grinned, revealing his teeth. With his hands behind his back, he tilted his head slightly, mischief gleaming in his eyes.

Qu Yunmie: "But it's only been six days."

It’s still a long way from three or four months.

Xiao Rong, who had been standing on his tiptoes, let his heels fall to the ground upon hearing this. After a moment of silence, he explained to Qu Yunmie, "Six days is enough. In these six days, I've seen the entirety of my life."

Living alone can be beautiful, but he no longer enjoyed it.

The system had forcibly brought him here, and after a series of entanglements, he had stepped out of the fate chosen for him by the system. Now, it was time for him to make his own choice.

Qu Yunmie was still processing this. When he let Xiao Rong go, he had truly prepared himself for the possibility that Xiao Rong might never return. Yet, Xiao Rong was back after just six days, and he found it hard to adapt.

Something stirred in his eyes as he gazed deeply at Xiao Rong. Anyone else would have felt suffocated under such an intense look, but Xiao Rong met his gaze and even took a step forward.

With pursed lips, he looked at Qu Yunmie and, under Qu Yunmie's watchful eyes, opened his arms wide.

Making a gesture as if asking for a hug, he couldn't help but laugh at himself.

Ignoring the people hiding around them, he openly declared to Qu Yunmie, "Marry me, Qu Yunmie. I love you too much and can't live without you, so I’m willing—"

He deliberately drew out the last word, then chuckled softly. "To give you this chance to ‘marry’ me."

Qu Yunmie watched as Xiao Rong stood there with open arms, boldly uttering those two sentences. He laughed twice. Qu Yunmie knew what kind of laughter it was—the kind Xiao Rong couldn’t help but emit when he was excited.

Qu Yunmie blinked, and a tear fell from his eye. Xiao Rong remained in that pose, but his expression turned surprised. He tried to retract his arms, but in the next moment, Qu Yunmie had pulled him into his embrace, silently weeping.

At first, Xiao Rong found it amusing and patted Qu Yunmie's shoulder. Even though his neck was almost being bent backward, he didn’t ask Qu Yunmie to change his position. Instead, he comforted him, "Alright, alright, why are you crying? I promise to treat you well in the future, not scold you anymore, and never give you a bad face. Trust me, I’ll strive to be a good empress and never bully you."

But as he spoke, he found himself unable to smile anymore. "I'm sorry. I’ve been selfish and full of whims, always tormenting you. Have I ever thanked you? Thank you for putting up with me, thank you for waiting for me, thank you for not giving up on me, Qu Yunmie. I won’t leave again. Wherever you go in the future, take me with you, okay? I want to be with you, always, forever. I can’t bear to be alone anymore."

In response, Qu Yunmie held Xiao Rong even tighter. The bleak moonlight before bedtime now transformed into pure and warm light, perhaps not just for a moment but for a lifetime, because Qu Yunmie’s world would never fade again. ………

On the rooftop, Qu Yunmie’s guard silently watched this scene. As a straight man, he still couldn’t understand why men could like other men.

And at that moment, a sob came from beside him.

He turned his head and saw that his colleague was deeply moved, tears streaming down his face.

The personal guard: "…………"

Could it be that I'm the odd one out?!

—Author's Note: