Chapter 27: A Sense of Security

Chapter 27: A Sense of Security

The head in front of him moved closer, and just as their lips were about to touch, Qin Zhan turned his head away. Zhou Liao's lips brushed against his cheek instead.

"What are you doing?"

Qin Zhan's tone was icy cold. After the mental struggle and missing the kiss, Zhou Liao opened his eyes to see Qin Zhan's expression, which made him tremble even more.

In Qin Zhan's world, there was no place for romantic desires. He was merely confused by Zhou Liao's sudden advance. Moreover, the other's frivolous behavior reminded him of how Zhou Liao had treated Bai Ling before.

"Do you like men too?"

Zhou Liao didn't expect such a question. He widened his eyes and shook his head vigorously. "No."

"Then what were you doing just now?" Qin Zhan frowned.

"…. I thought you wanted me to prove it."

Zhou Liao expected Qin Zhan to laugh or react in some way, but when he awkwardly raised his head, he found Qin Zhan looking at his lips thoughtfully, with emotions hidden deep in his eyes.

After a while, Qin Zhan stood up, walked to the fridge, and took out two tomatoes.

"I'll make tomato egg drop soup later. Do you eat scallions?"

The next day, Zhou Liao woke up from a nightmare that was gradually fading away. Qin Zhan was changing clothes by the wardrobe, seemingly getting ready to go out.

"You're awake?"

Zhou Liao's heart skipped a beat. He clutched the blanket and leaned forward. "Are you going out?"

"Yes, to class." Qin Zhan packed his laptop. "Your food is in the thermos."

"When will you be back?"

"I'll be back late today, I have something to do."

Hearing that he would return late, Zhou Liao's mood sank involuntarily, knowing he would be alone for most of the time again.

Qin Zhan finished packing and turned to close the door. Before closing it, he caught a glimpse of Zhou Liao's gaze, filled with pitiful unease. The temperature and light outside were abruptly cut off by the sound of the door shutting.

...

Today, Qin Zhan had three large classes, two in the afternoon. As it was nearing the end of the semester, many students were attending to review for exams, so the classroom was more crowded than usual.

Most students sat with friends or roommates, isolating Qin Zhan in a corner. No one dared to sit next to him unless there were no other seats left.

Qin Zhan seemed oblivious to the surrounding gazes and sounds, looking ahead indifferently. No one noticed the slight agitation in his fingers as he fiddled with his pen.

After a while, when most people had arrived, laughter came from outside the door. Chen Xian, with his hands in his pockets, entered with a few regular companions. When Qin Zhan looked up, he met the gaze of one of the people who had beaten him before, who quickly looked away.

When Chen Xian glanced at Qin Zhan, the latter was already opening his laptop on the screen. Since the back row was already full, they decided to sit behind Qin Zhan instead.

Chen Xian threw his iPad on the table and stretched his legs, waiting for the teacher to arrive.

The person beside him yawned and said, "Man, I'm so tired after all these classes today, couldn't even take a nap."

"Tell me about it."

"I wonder if the old man will give us hints today."

Chen Xian twirled his pen. "Find someone to copy answers from, just in case."

"I bought ChatGPT 4.0; let AI do my coding homework." The person slumped onto the table. "I really envy Brother Liao, still vacationing by the sea."

Chen Xian suddenly stopped twirling his pen. "Did he post on WeChat Moments?"

"A few days ago."

"I haven't seen it." Chen Xian took out his phone. A few days ago, Zhou Liao had posted a location in City Z by the seaside, with many likes and comments praising his carefree lifestyle.

"You might have missed it." The person shrugged. "I really envy Brother Liao. When stressed, he can just take a break whenever he wants. His family doesn't even care. I'm so stressed during finals I want to jump off a building."

As the person spoke, Chen Xian fell silent. He knew Zhou Liao's family situation well since their parents were close.

Zhou Liao's parents spent most of their time in Capital City A, often traveling abroad and rarely returning even for the New Year. For the past couple of years, Zhou Liao had spent the holidays with him. Despite the fragmented family dynamics, Zhou Liao seemed used to it, always saying he preferred having unlimited money and freedom. But Chen Xian knew he secretly waited for his parents' messages every New Year's Eve.

This sudden leave of absence seemed suspicious to Chen Xian. He had mentioned Long Ge's return to Zhou Liao earlier, and Zhou Liao had agreed, even saying he would drive over that afternoon. But then, all calls and messages went unanswered, and the next message was that he had something urgent and wouldn't come.

What puzzled Chen Xian even more was Zhou Liao's decision to take a leave of absence. He announced it the same night and disappeared the next day without seeing anyone.

His voice and tone in messages and calls seemed normal, stating he just wanted a break. When asked if it was due to family issues, he didn't give a direct answer. Over the past few days, Chen Xian had repeatedly suggested visiting during winter break, but Zhou Liao kept refusing with vague excuses, saying he wanted to be alone.

Chen Xian felt the entire leave of absence was strange. If not for the ongoing responses and genuine voice in calls, he might have suspected kidnapping, especially since Zhou Liao had mentioned feeling followed before.

That suspicion startled him, but in a law-abiding society with surveillance cameras everywhere, it was hard to kidnap someone unnoticed. Besides, he doubted anyone could dare to kidnap Zhou Liao.

When driving by, he visited Zhou Liao's house and coincidentally ran into Uncle Lin, who occasionally managed Zhou Liao's affairs in City C.

During their chat, he mentioned his confusion, but Uncle Lin didn't seem concerned.

"Yes, Young Master Zhou didn't want to continue, and Madam thinks it's best to let him do as he pleases. He's always been impulsive."

"But he didn't say anything and left the next day. Did he send you any messages?"

"Yes, he sent me messages the night before and when he reached the airport. He even arranged for a driver to bring his car back."

Chen Xian frowned. Something felt off, but he couldn't pinpoint what exactly. After all, Zhou Liao was still active in chats, and his family's laissez-faire attitude was common.

Another person beside him suddenly interrupted his thoughts.

"But, why is Brother Liao taking a break in his third year? If he just endured one more year, he could have interned at his family's company."

"Maybe not. Brother Liao might go abroad, right, Brother Chen?"

Chen Xian was taken aback by the sudden question and paused: "Not sure. It depends on him, but he didn't want to go abroad for high school or undergrad, so maybe not in the future either."

"True, life is more comfortable and convenient here with everything you need."

"… But, doesn't anyone find it strange that he left so suddenly?"

Chen Xian looked at Qin Zhan's computer screen and spoke up. The person in front of him, wearing glasses, remained silent, waiting for class to start. He knew their conversation might be heard clearly by Qin Zhan.

"It's okay, I thought he had already told you? After all, Brother Liao always acts on impulse."

As they were talking, the teacher entered the classroom with a laptop and lecture notes.

Chen Xian stared blankly at the back of Qin Zhan's head throughout the class while the latter took notes on his computer. Today's discussion brought back his previous doubts. He kept thinking about what was odd about Zhou Liao's situation, but after two hours of class, he still couldn't figure it out and gave up. However, his intuition told him that his concerns were related to Zhou Liao mentioning being followed, refusing video calls, and not wanting him to visit.

It wasn't until the end of class, when he heard people packing up, that he realized he hadn't listened to a single word. Seeing Qin Zhan about to close his laptop, he quickly took out his phone and snapped a few photos of the exam points in Qin Zhan's notes.

"Send them to me, Brother Chen." The person next to him wanted to take photos too but hesitated because it was Qin Zhan.

"Weren't you listening to the class?"

"Aren't you also not listening, Brother Chen?" The person sounded a bit aggrieved.

Chen Xian rolled his eyes, thinking to himself, "I'm dealing with important matters." "I'll send them to you later."

He turned his head and saw a familiar figure at the classroom door. Qin Zhan, carrying his laptop bag, was looking down and talking to her.

"Isn't that... Brother Liao's ex-girlfriend? What was her name again?"

"Bai Ling."

"Oh, right." The person remembered, "Is Qin Zhan dating her now? No wonder Brother Liao went after her; she's not even that pretty."

Chen Xian narrowed his eyes slightly, watching the two leave without saying a word.

Bai Ling finished class around the same time as Qin Zhan today. Since Qin Zhan was going to tutor, she sent a text asking to wait for him.

Their relationship wasn't particularly warm, but perhaps because they had both been hurt by the same person, they were closer than before. Of course, Bai Ling only thought it was one-sided.

When they arrived home, Du Li was peeling fruit in the dining room. She was surprised to see them come back together.

"You finished class together?"

"I waited for Qin Zhan."

"Oh, okay." Du Li called out to her son to bring the fruit, and soon someone rushed out from the room, "Qin Zhan, I heard from Bai Ling that you quit your other part-time jobs?"

"Yes."

"Are things better financially now?"

"Yes, I released a small game."

"Really impressive. Bai Ling, you want to be an illustrator, right? Learn from him."

Bai Ling pouted, "But I can't code, so I can only work for others."

"Brother Qin Zhan, did you have class?" Her brother held a bowl, looking eagerly at him.

"They should go ahead and start; he wants to play games after class." Du Li knew why her son was so eager.

...

Enduring the inexplicable restlessness and unease all day, the two-hour tutoring session finally ended. As soon as Qin Zhan finished grading the last problem and said he had made some progress, the student exclaimed "Hooray!" and ran out of the room to play games.

The wall clock showed it was already 7:30 PM. Once the student left, he took out his phone.

On the black-and-white screen, the scene in the warehouse was clear. A boy wearing his clothes was curled up under a blanket, clutching it tightly, indicating he wasn't sleeping well.

Qin Zhan's fingers brushed over the screen, and his inner agitation eased a little.

"Qin Zhan."

He immediately locked his phone upon hearing his name. Looking up, he saw Bai Ling leaning against the door.

"Mom asked you to stay for dinner."

"I probably can't today."

"Are you going to the hospital? Didn't you quit all your other part-time jobs?"

"Not exactly..."

"Qin Zhan, stay for dinner!" Du Li called from the living room, "I've already prepared the condiments."

Bai Ling shrugged at him, and Qin Zhan didn't say anything else.

"What were you looking at just now?"

"The lecture notes."

"Really? It looked dark." Bai Ling didn't ask further, "Let's go out together."

Du Li brought out the noodles she had cooked. Looking at Qin Zhan, she felt a sense of melancholy: "Qin Zhan, do you plan to find a partner someday?"

This question almost choked Bai Ling. She glanced at Qin Zhan, finding it hard to imagine him in a relationship, despite his good looks. His gloomy demeanor deterred everyone.

"Speaking of which, didn't you say there was something wrong with Bai Ling's boyfriend? He really is a scumbag."

"Mom, why are we still talking about him? It's like being bitten by a dog."

"Haven't you cried secretly many times? Where is he now? Bai Ling said he seems to have taken a leave of absence."

Qin Zhan responded with a low hum.

"He's been on leave for some time."

"I think he just can't show his face in front of you." Du Li placed a piece of meat in Qin Zhan's bowl. "Qin Zhan, have you ever liked someone?"

This sudden change in topic left Bai Ling momentarily speechless, but she had grown accustomed to her mother's gossip and matchmaking tendencies as she aged.

"...No."

"You don't seem like the type who has liked anyone either. I bet you haven't dated before. But it doesn't matter; find a job first, and everything else comes second."

"I can tell you're loyal." Although Du Li said this, she couldn't imagine what kind of girl Qin Zhan would end up with. "Why don't you spend the New Year with us this year?"

Qin Zhan's chopsticks paused, and Bai Ling was also surprised.

"Your grandmother probably won't be able to move around easily after getting out of the hospital, and your living conditions are..." Du Li sighed. "If you're alone, come join us. It's just one more bowl of rice."

"Thank you..." Qin Zhan lowered his gaze, "but there's someone at home."

The meal lasted nearly an hour, during which Du Li chatted with him and Bai Ling extensively. As a housewife with limited social interactions, she enjoyed having someone to talk to. Despite feeling restless, Qin Zhan remained patient and stayed.

By the time they reached the warehouse from Bai Ling's house, it was almost ten o'clock. When Qin Zhan opened the door, he brought in a chill.

As soon as he heard the sound, the eyes inside the house turned towards him.

"You're back."

"Mm." Qin Zhan lifted his gaze, and his heartbeat gradually steadied.

"Why are you so...?" Before Zhou Liao could finish his sentence, he apologized, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ask."

"Dinner."

Unexpectedly, Qin Zhan did not dismiss him but responded.

"Oh." Zhou Liao dared not ask further. He didn't know the time, only that Qin Zhan had been out almost all day, and now that he was back, it must be night.

"Let's change the bandage."

Qin Zhan draped his black windbreaker over a chair and then squatted down in front of Zhou Liao. The latter obediently extended his leg as usual. When Qin Zhan rolled up his pant leg, the cold tips of his fingers made Zhou Liao shiver slightly.

"A bit cold..."

"Bear with it."

Qin Zhan spoke expressionlessly, but his hands were gentle. The swelling around Zhou Liao's ankle had reduced significantly compared to before, but walking was still difficult, especially since it was a broken bone rather than a simple sprain.

When Qin Zhan reached for the bandage beside Zhou Liao, the latter suddenly stiffened. He caught a familiar scent of perfume on Qin Zhan. Though he used to have different women, their perfumes varied, especially... the one on Qin Zhan now.

"Lift it."

"Didn't hear?" Qin Zhan frowned at Zhou Liao.

"Sorry." Zhou Liao quickly lifted his leg but winced in pain.

After finishing the bandaging, Qin Zhan stood up. "Hungry?"

As soon as he asked, Zhou Liao's stomach grumbled in response. Embarrassed, Zhou Liao looked away, but Qin Zhan didn't mind. He had left porridge and dry food in a thermos for Zhou Liao, so it was normal for him to be hungry at this hour.

Qin Zhan walked to the small kitchen to make noodles for Zhou Liao, but Zhou Liao fell silent behind him.

He smelled Bai Ling's perfume on Qin Zhan. He knew Qin Zhan tutored at Bai Ling's house, but he didn't remember Qin Zhan carrying these scents before. And today, Qin Zhan had been out almost all day. Thinking about the perfume, Zhou Liao felt his heart suddenly dragged to the ground.

He couldn't imagine Qin Zhan dating someone... yet he knew Qin Zhan cared for Bai Ling, perhaps because her family treated him well.

But Zhou Liao still felt an irrational fear. He clutched his clothes tightly, unsure when his heartache had become so severe, making it hard to breathe and causing his limbs to stiffen.

These unfounded thoughts grew larger, expanding the buried fears from his childhood until his veins swelled, making him feel unbearable pressure, as if he might explode.

If Qin Zhan started dating Bai Ling, would he spend less time here... would he be left waiting alone again, uncertain if Qin Zhan would even return at night?

Just thinking about the endless darkness of the past, the once-favorite scent of perfume now twisting his mind, made his stomach churn. He gripped his throat, leaning against the floor, and began retching.

As Qin Zhan was putting noodles into a bowl, he heard the sound of vomiting behind him. Frowning, he turned around. Zhou Liao was hunched over, one hand clenched into a fist, the other gripping his throat, convulsing from retching, looking terribly distressed.

It had been a long time since Zhou Liao had such an episode in daylight, apart from his nightmares. Qin Zhan set aside the bowl and approached Zhou Liao, draping the thicker windbreaker from the chair over him and gently rubbing his back without any expression.

Once the trembling spine beneath his hand stopped, Qin Zhan turned on the nearby electric heater.

Zhou Liao lifted his bloodshot eyes, looking at Qin Zhan's emotionless gaze, and then reached out to grab his arm tightly, afraid he might leave.

"What were you thinking about?" Qin Zhan handed him water.

"...Nothing."

Qin Zhan looked at him for two seconds, then stopped asking questions and placed the seasoned noodles in front of him.

Zhou Liao lowered his gaze, staring at the floating vegetables, suddenly feeling nauseous again. The sudden retching had injured his stomach, turning his hunger into nausea.

He stared at the bowl of noodles, afraid of what might happen if he didn't eat what Qin Zhan had prepared for him, but more afraid of throwing it all up.

"Weren't you hungry?"

Zhou Liao hastily picked up his chopsticks.

"What were you thinking about just now? Or did you see something again?"

"......I...."

Zhou Liao didn't dare to say what he, a grown man, had been thinking about, fearing that Qin Zhan would mock him. Yet, his growing dependence and anxiety were becoming visibly apparent. Even though he desperately wanted to escape these terrifying emotions, the fears from his childhood still clung to him like shadows.

"If you don't want to say it, then forget it." Qin Zhan seemed to lose patience and turned to go to the bathroom to wash up.

As the bathroom door closed, Zhou Liao heard the sound of running water inside and nearly snapped his chopsticks in half. He didn't want to be alone, didn't want to hear nothing but silence, didn't want to see nothing but emptiness where Qin Zhan should be.

After turning off the faucet, Qin Zhan changed into fresh clothes and opened the door. The warm steam from the shower quickly dissipated into the cold air.

He saw Zhou Liao still with his head down, holding the chopsticks, but the bowl of noodles in front of him was almost congealed.

Qin Zhan wiped his hair with a towel, said nothing, and went to the cabinet under the computer desk to fetch the hair dryer. Just as he opened the drawer, he heard a very faint voice calling him from behind.

"Qin Zhan..."

"Qin Zhan."

Qin Zhan turned around and saw the despair in Zhou Liao's eyes clearly.

"......you and Bai Ling... have you gotten together?"

Qin Zhan's eyes darkened, and Zhou Liao knew he had no right to mention that name anymore.

"I just... you were gone for so long today... I just wanted to ask if you were with her... if you will also be..."

Zhou Liao was rambling, not knowing how to express his fear of being abandoned by the man.

As he spoke, Qin Zhan walked over to him.

"And it's winter now... I'm alone..."

The other person suddenly bent down, and before Zhou Liao could finish his sentence, the back of his head was grabbed. He had been kneeling on the floor to eat, and this sudden pull made his spine straighten instantly. Then came the increasingly close breath, until warm, cool lips pressed against his own.

Zhou Liao's eyes widened abruptly, but the other person quickly pulled away.

"Are you feeling uneasy?"