Chapter 55 Do You Need It?

Chapter 55 Do You Need It?

The rain outside was pouring heavily, and the sky had turned a dull gray in an instant, devoid of any vitality.

Amidst the thunderstorm, from running from school to the subway, and then sitting silently in their small, cramped rental room, everything felt incredibly surreal, like a dream. One moment they felt on the brink of death, the next moment they were pulled back into reality.

-

After hearing Qin Zhan's words, Zhou Liao no longer wanted to think about the implications behind them. He only wanted to follow his most primal instincts, wanting nothing else but to vent.

He forcefully held Qin Zhan's chin and pressed his lips upward. Unlike before when he had passively endured, this time he took the lead. At first, Qin Zhan's reaction was not intense; he often remained unemotional. But when Zhou Liao bit his lower lip and heard him groan, the man gradually began to respond.

Qin Zhan grabbed his hair, pulling so hard it hurt Zhou Liao's scalp, yet he ignored the pain.

Compared to the tender kisses of normal people, theirs resembled a battle for dominance, each trying to devour the other, frantically releasing a year's worth of tangled and distorted love and hate.

Zhou Liao's attack was fiercer than ever before. He was no longer the meek and submissive person in the warehouse, controlled by others. Now, his brain was corroded by surging and distorted emotions, as if he was sacrificing everything to crush the person in front of him.

In the dimly lit room, the only sounds were the wet smacking of their kisses and the muffled groans of pain. Lightning flashed, illuminating the two men pressed against the locker room door, kissing and fighting at the same time.

The veins on the back of Qin Zhan's hand, which was gripping Zhou Liao's head, bulged prominently, becoming even more pronounced with each squeeze, as if they would burst through the skin. Zhou Liao's face and neck were flushed red due to the blood rushing to his head, almost as if he was suffocating. They were pressed against the locker room door, oblivious to everything around them.

"Fuck..."

Every time their tongues scraped against each other's palate, sweeping through the mouth, Zhou Liao felt a shiver. They gnawed at each other, and the taste of blood did not break the kiss. Neither knew who had bitten whom first, but the metallic taste of blood filled their mouths, and fresh blood continued to trickle down their chins.

Before it reached their jawlines, Qin Zhan lowered his head and licked it clean, like a vampire feasting on human blood, cold and ghostly, frenzied and violent, followed by another overwhelming kiss.

From the lower lip to the tip of the tongue, sweeping into the mouth, and then sucking on the upper lip.

Every breath was swallowed by the rain, and the sounds of their tongues intertwining were drowned out by the thunderstorm.

"Mmm..."

Zhou Liao's arms tightly wrapped around Qin Zhan's neck, the muscles in his upper arms bulging, as if dragging the person in front of him into hell.

There was no escape now. Let it be, let them sink into sin and abandon themselves completely.

They didn't know how long they had been inside, their clothes crumpled, almost as if they were trying to meld into one body.

"Why can't we push this door open?"

"Did you lock it when you left?"

Suddenly, voices came from outside, dragging the two men in the locker room back to reality.

"No? It turns, but it feels like something is blocking it inside?" The person outside was also puzzled. "What should we do, Brother Liao?"

"Did Brother Liao block the door himself?"

Qin Zhan leaned against the door, and Zhou Liao's weight was partially on him due to their kiss.

His usually emotionless eyes now swirled with hidden currents, and in the darkness, he silently met Zhou Liao's gaze.

The room was filled only with their ragged breathing. Zhou Liao, who had lost control earlier, gradually calmed down, and a wave of awkward silence washed over him. He quickly looked away from Qin Zhan's eyes.

"I'll leave later." Zhou Liao's voice was still oddly hoarse.

"Brother Liao, are you inside?"

"Yes."

Zhou Liao cleared his throat, about to speak again, but Qin Zhan adjusted his stance. When their chests touched, Zhou Liao was startled by the heat and instinctively took a step back.

"Why did you block the door, Brother Liao?"

"Just forget it." Zhou Liao's tone was slightly impatient. "Go ahead, I'm fine. I'll leave later."

"Okay."

Qin Zhan coughed lightly, and Zhou Liao immediately covered his mouth.

"Who's inside?" Another person asked, sounding alert.

The person beside him shook his head but made frantic gestures outside the door.

"We'll go first, Brother Liao. Get some rest."

"Thanks for today."

Once they heard the footsteps fade away, Zhou Liao released his hand from Qin Zhan's mouth.

But the voices in the hallway were still clear.

"Brother Liao's girlfriend must be inside."

"I think so too. Maybe she came to see him because he was sick, and they're doing that right now."

"Definitely. Otherwise, why would anyone block the door?"

As the voices grew distant, Zhou Liao's courage seemed to vanish. In the quiet space, only silence and awkwardness spread. He didn't raise his head, unsure what to say next.

After a while, Qin Zhan broke the silence.

"Let's go."

"...Where?"

"Back." Qin Zhan's face quickly returned to its usual expression, as if nothing had happened. "Do you have class tonight?"

"No."

"Let's go then."

Qin Zhan opened the door, and Zhou Liao followed him. As soon as they stepped out of the building, they were met with a torrential downpour. The two stood there for a moment, and Zhou Liao felt a bit agitated.

"Did you drive?"

"No." Zhou Liao had come from the hospital today.

"Can you get wet? Will you catch a cold?"

"No." Zhou Liao turned his head awkwardly, "I'm a grown man."

"Then let's run."

"What?"

"Run to the subway station."

He really did run with Qin Zhan all the way to the subway station. In the subway, they didn't stand close together at first. Perhaps due to the rain, more people crowded in, pushing them into a corner.

Their tall stature made them quite noticeable among the shorter crowd, and occasionally, girls would sneak glances at them, making Zhou Liao uncomfortable. Qin Zhan remained silent, seemingly oblivious to others' gazes. He simply reached up, pulled the hood of his wet hoodie over his head, and put it back on.

They didn't speak a word the entire journey. When they arrived at the subway station near Zhou Liao's place, he didn't get off. He swore he hadn't done it on purpose; he was just distracted, his heart racing, and his mind wandering far away, so he missed the announcement.

It wasn't until the person in front of him moved that he snapped out of his daze and followed suit.

Qin Zhan glanced at him and asked after they exited the station, "Do you want to come to my place?"

Zhou Liao's heart was pounding too fast and erratically, and he didn't know how to respond. Before he could, Qin Zhan spoke again.

"You must have gotten off at the wrong station. You should take a taxi back."

"Why didn't you remind me..."

Zhou Liao asked this, but Qin Zhan didn't answer. Instead, he somehow ended up following Qin Zhan to his home. The place where Qin Zhan lived was beyond his imagination. He didn't even know such dilapidated buildings existed in the city center, filled with government-assisted poor families and elderly residents.

He almost slipped on the moss while climbing the stairs and saw rats scurrying through the hallway. For Zhou Liao, this was not an environment fit for human habitation.

When Qin Zhan opened the door, the old wooden door creaked. Fortunately, the space inside was very clean and tidy, despite being smaller than his own bathroom. Although some facilities were old, the environment was not as nauseating as the corridor and neighborhood.

"Take a shower," Qin Zhan suddenly said.

"Huh?" Zhou Liao hadn't reacted yet.

"You got wet."

"I can shower when I get back."

Qin Zhan didn't say anything, but Zhou Liao added, "I don't mean to be picky about your living conditions... I just don't have any clothes to change into here."

Qin Zhan placed a set of new clothes beside him. "Make do with these. I'll dry your clothes later."

"Aren't you working?"

"Not tonight."

"Oh..."

After that, they fell silent again. Zhou Liao stood up, took the clothes, and opened the tiny bathroom door.

"I'll shower first."

Zhou Liao showered quickly. After all, there wasn't much for a man to wash. It wasn't until he turned off the shower that he saw himself in the mirror.

His face looked haggard, with red eyes, and he understood why girls had been looking at them on the subway. His lips were bitten raw, covered in dried blood and cracks, as if he had been doing something else.

When he came out, Qin Zhan had just finished brewing ginger water and placed it aside. Seeing him emerge, Qin Zhan glanced at him and told him to drink the ginger water before going in to shower himself.

Zhou Liao listened to the sound of the shower and the rain, sipping the warm ginger water and observing the surroundings.

Everything was very clean and tidy, revealing nothing about the owner of the house. There were few items, as if the occupant might leave at any moment.

After a while, Qin Zhan also emerged from the bathroom, wearing a gray shirt with a towel draped over his shoulder.

"Do you want to eat something?"

"...Anything is fine."

"Noodles?"

"Sure."

Zhou Liao blew dry his hair while Qin Zhan cooked noodles on a small electric stove in the tiny kitchen.

Two bowls of seasoned noodles were ready in about five minutes. When Zhou Liao smelled the aroma, he felt a bit disoriented, as if transported back to the past. The familiar taste of the first bite of noodle made him momentarily unsure of where he was.

When Zhou Liao finished eating, he remembered to check his phone. He had silenced it, and now found numerous messages and calls from Chen Xian and other friends.

Zhou Liao replied to everyone else first and finally called Chen Xian. Chen Xian was nearly driven mad by him, but upon hearing that everything was fine, he and the other guys finally relaxed.

"Are you home now?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll come over and play games with you."

Zhou Liao gripped his phone tightly. "Not convenient right now, I have something to do."

"What the hell could you possibly be doing?"

"Really, I can't."

"If you can't, it's fine. Just don't try to kill yourself again."

"..." Zhou Liao knew Chen Xian was worried about him, "You can be at ease this time."

Chen Xian said a few more things before hanging up. By then, Qin Zhan had already finished washing the dishes and only spoke after Zhou Liao hung up.

"Are you going back?"

Zhou Liao glanced out the window: "The rain seems to be quite heavy."

Qin Zhan's umbrella was by the entrance, but neither of them mentioned it.

"Besides, I tend to have insomnia."

"Then leave tomorrow." Qin Zhan didn't say anything else.

Since there were no extra pillows, Qin Zhan used some of his thicker clothes to make a soft makeshift pillow and placed it on one side.

The bed wasn't large, and with two men both over 1.85 meters tall, it was quite cramped. Even so, after turning off the lights, they maintained a clear boundary between them, as if separated by the Huai River and the Han territory.

Zhou Liao squeezed himself to the edge of the bed, his heart beating in sync with the sound of the rain. Even though they had shared a bed before, the situation was never like this. His mind was in turmoil, and he had lost the courage he once had. This newfound clarity yet strange undefined relationship made him unsure how to act.

"Are you asleep?" Qin Zhan, facing away from him, suddenly spoke in the darkness.

"...No."

"Insomnia?"

"A bit."

Qin Zhan got up and took something noisy from the nearby cabinet, asking again, "Do you need it?"

Zhou Liao turned around. In the silent darkness of the night, the silver handcuffs gleamed brightly in the man's hand.