Chapter 48 Why

Chapter 48 Why

Chen Xian glanced at Zhou Liao upon hearing this, somewhat surprised that he was so homophobic.

"Fortunately, I find two muscular men a bit disgusting too." The person beside him evaluated seriously.

The conversation from the neighboring table could be heard quite clearly if one paid attention.

Sister Li thought to herself that the people at the next table looked good, but their comments were too straight-male, causing her impression of them to plummet sharply.

"I knew Qin Zhan wouldn't have anyone he likes." The team leader took a sip of alcohol and sighed, "Uninteresting people can't produce anything interesting."

While picking dishes, Sister Li's gaze swept over Qin Zhan. He showed no reaction, as if he had finished eating, his chopsticks already put down.

"Aren't you eating anymore, Qin Zhan?"

"I'm full."

"But you've barely eaten anything."

Xiaomin turned her head, and her gaze coincidentally met with the man from the neighboring table who had a buzz cut. She felt a chill run down her spine; it felt like being cut by a knife. In those few seconds of stiffness, she felt that perhaps he wasn't looking at her but just happened to glance over.

"He never ate much during previous gatherings either. I wonder how he grew so tall. Lucky guy," a male colleague sitting opposite her remarked enviously.

The group then moved on to other topics, and the meal ended after about half an hour. The team leader went to settle the bill while the others waited outside. Only Qin Zhan got up first and headed to the restroom.

As soon as their table dispersed, Chen Xian saw Zhou Liao suddenly stand up.

"Where are you going?"

"To the restroom."

Chen Xian became a bit nervous. "Are you going to hit him?"

His last interaction with Qin Zhan was when that group beat him up and they went to the police station, where Chen Xian paid the bail himself. Unexpectedly, about two or three months later, during class, Qin Zhan suddenly threw an envelope in front of him and left without a word.

He opened the envelope, finding a thick stack of money, exactly the amount he had paid for the bail.

"Who are you going to hit?" one person asked, confused.

"A guy from our school. Zhou Liao didn't like him before," another person said, biting into a sushi roll, indifferent. "Do you need help this time?"

"Don't cause trouble. We're in someone else's restaurant." Chen Xian thought, 'I hope we don't end up at the police station again.' "Can't you just pretend you didn't see him? He's actually pretty miserable."

"What happened to Qin Zhan?"

"Didn't he take a long leave last semester? I remember someone said he attempted suicide and was hospitalized." Chen Xian grabbed Zhou Liao's arm, trying to mediate. "He doesn't come to school often. Just let it go this time. It's just a coincidence that you ran into him, and he hasn't done anything."

Zhou Liao's breath hitched when he heard about the suicide attempt, but he quickly shook off Chen Xian's hand.

"I'm going to the restroom."

With that, he walked away without looking back. Chen Xian watched his extremely grim face, his heart racing, but he believed Zhou Liao wouldn't cause trouble in such a public place.

The restroom was spacious, and someone was washing their hands at the sink. Qin Zhan just came out of the stall.

When he saw Zhou Liao standing at the door, he simply shifted his gaze away as if the person in front of him didn't exist. The person washing their hands accidentally bumped into Zhou Liao, knocking the cigarette box out of his hand.

After washing his hands, Qin Zhan walked towards the door. As his foot approached the fallen cigarette box, he glanced down and finally spoke, his voice unchanged but devoid of warmth.

"You dropped your cigarettes."

He then tried to walk around him, but unexpectedly, Zhou Liao suddenly pressed against the door behind him and locked it.

Qin Zhan slightly narrowed his eyes.

Now they were alone in the restroom, and the silence amplified the awkward atmosphere.

Zhou Liao lifted his eyes to look at the person in front of him. This was their first true eye contact, and it was the first time Zhou Liao truly saw his face. The person in front of him had a cold expression, his eyes devoid of any emotion, making it impossible to read his feelings.

Memories flooded his mind—longing, disgust, and hatred all mixed together, almost unbearable.

He was just taking medication to suppress his emotions, but he hadn't forgotten.

Yes, after recovering, he should move forward. He should continue being the young master of the Zhou family, playing basketball, racing cars, enjoying champagne and money, basking in women's adoration and the flattery of others. If he encountered Qin Zhan again, he should just ignore him, since they were never from the same world.

He was born in a tower built by power, while Qin Zhan was a rat in a dilapidated town.

It was Qin Zhan who made him live like a dog, begging for a man's affection and charity. Every time Zhou Liao thought about it, he wanted to kill his past self, especially the things they did together, the marks left on his body.

Since seeing him at school, he had been suffering from insomnia, even with sleeping pills. It felt like the deepest nightmare was staring at him.

Could he escape? No, he couldn't.

He couldn't escape the emotions personally etched by that man, nor could he break free from the shackles he had placed on himself.

Even though he hated and despised that disgusting past, the other part of his brain was screaming, trying to break through the suppression of the medication, threatening to tear him apart.

But when they actually met again, the other's indifference and cold denial made his inflated self-esteem hard to bear.

Why, why was he the only one trapped and struggling?

"Do you have something?" Qin Zhan asked expressionlessly.

Zhou Liao looked at his face, clenched his fists, and after a moment, he laughed derisively, as if the words were absurd: "Something?"

"What do you want to say?"

"What do you think?"

"It's all over."

"So you knew everything after all?" Zhou Liao curled his lips, his face obscured by shadows from the light, "I thought you had lost your memory."

Qin Zhan remained silent, merely looking at him.

"Sending me away secretly is what you call an end? Is that how you end things of the past?"

He looked at the marks on Qin Zhan's arm—unlike the twisted scars and flesh on the other's waist and abdomen, and the red bruises around his throat, these were the new skin that grew after burns, grotesque and terrifying.

Zhou Liao felt a ball of fire rolling violently in his chest. The horrific scars and cold demeanor of the other person only fueled the flames more.

The tireless search, the long and painful treatment, the repeated breakdowns after electric shocks—all of this was covered up by Qin Zhan's casual dismissal.

"What do you want, but I have nothing left."

This sentence struck Zhou Liao's heart with pain. He endured the throbbing ache in his chest, grabbed Qin Zhan's collar, and pulled him forward, causing him to lose balance.

"You fucking ruined me. Do you know how I've been living for the past six months?"

"I've been in the hospital, wishing for death! Sleepless nights, anxiety, unable to distinguish reality from hallucinations, neither able to live nor die."

"Even now, I have to take medication every day to suppress those disgusting emotions!"

"And the leg you broke, it only fully recovered three months ago. A whole fucking year!"

"Have I paid you back enough?"

Zhou Liao roared at the person in front of him, his eyes red. He gripped Qin Zhan's collar tightly, but the other's face remained as calm as still water, not even rippling when a stone was thrown.

"So, why did you let me go." Qin Zhan spoke calmly.

His question was simple, but both knew its implications. After Zhou Liao got out, relying on his family's influence, he only needed to take one step in a certain direction or utter a single confession, and Qin Zhan would not be standing before him today but would spend the rest of his life behind bars.

But he never told anyone. He repeatedly told everyone that nothing happened, that he did it voluntarily.

Indeed, he did it voluntarily. After that, Qin Zhan never restrained him with anything, never physically abused him, and even took good care of his daily meals and routines. It was just that he himself lost the courage to walk out that door again.

But he knew that if he said anything, if he chose to maliciously accuse the other's actions, Qin Zhan's life would be over.

"So, why did you let me go?" the other asked again.

Zhou Liao looked at the calmness of the person in front of him, feeling like a volcano about to erupt, his entire body burning with heat.

Before he could speak, the door behind him rattled several times, followed by pounding sounds.

"Open the door! Who locked the bathroom door while using it?!"