Chapter 51: The Cinema

Chapter 51: The Cinema

After he asked that question, the air seemed to solidify, and everything fell silent.

Zhou Liao's heart was beating fast, unsure of what answer he was waiting for. But he knew that if Qin Zhan said yes, he might not be able to bear it. He had been tormented by indescribable and subtle emotions, feeling discomfort and pain at the intimacy between men and women, while the other party continued their new life without any trouble.

"Why are you asking this?" Qin Zhan seemed confused by the abrupt question.

"Why can't I ask?"

Qin Zhan's expression wasn't good: "What do you want with Bai Ling again?"

Hearing this, Zhou Liao's heart felt as if it were being squeezed. He hadn't thought about playing with Bai Ling again and knew his previous actions were inappropriate. Yet, Qin Zhan's instinctive reaction and his own thoughts still made him catch his breath.

"I don't want anything," Zhou Liao gritted his teeth. "I just want to know the answer."

"Can you hurry up?"

Someone behind them started urging, and Qin Zhan, without looking back, reached over the screen to take something from the person behind him before resuming the scanning process.

Zhou Liao looked around the few scattered people in the convenience store, realizing it wasn't the right time to talk. He clenched his fists and turned to leave.

When the shift ended at midnight, Qin Zhan emerged from the back room.

As soon as he opened the door, he smelled a foul odor coming from below. Qin Zhan lowered his gaze, and there was Zhou Liao, squatting against the wall, looking a bit drowsy, holding a cigarette, eyes half-closed, unclear whether awake or asleep.

The ground was littered with cigarette butts, and the one in his hand was almost burned out.

Qin Zhan glanced once and was about to leave, but the heavy door made a loud sound when closing, pulling the person squatting on the ground back to reality.

Zhou Liao lifted his gaze and saw Qin Zhan about to leave. He took a drag from his cigarette and then stood up, nearly losing balance due to the numbness from squatting too long.

"Hey."

Qin Zhan stopped.

"Didn't you see I was waiting for you?"

Qin Zhan turned around: "Is there something?"

"You haven't answered me yet."

Zhou Liao was a stubborn man, tenacious and obsessive, with a strong competitive spirit. He always got what he wanted, enjoying both what others offered and what he fought for, believing he had the ability. But facing Qin Zhan, he always seemed to hit a wall.

Yet, despite the other's attitude, he couldn't help but feel frustrated. His insomnia stemmed from Qin Zhan, so the answer he sought could only come from him.

"What do you want an answer to?"

"I asked, are you dating Bai Ling?"

Qin Zhan's expression was hard to read in the dark alley.

"So why are you asking this?"

"Why can't I ask?!"

Zhou Liao almost shouted, feeling extremely agitated. He threw away the cigarette and walked quickly to Qin Zhan: "Is it that hard to tell me? I just want to know if you're together."

"What does it have to do with you?" Qin Zhan's face was shadowed, making him look even more grim.

"Why doesn't it have to do with me?" Zhou Liao took deep breaths, staring intently at the shadowed face under Qin Zhan's cap. "I've been waiting here for so long. Is it that hard to say yes or no?"

"I think you've misunderstood something. No one asked you to wait here." Qin Zhan slightly narrowed his eyes. "Also, stop bothering Bai Ling. It's over."

Zhou Liao felt a sharp pain in his chest, not surprised by how Qin Zhan viewed him. Asking about their relationship would naturally make Qin Zhan think he couldn't accept Bai Ling choosing him after their past.

Reality was too stark; the Qin Zhan in the warehouse wasn't like this. Though cold, he had a hint of humanity, and their past intimacy and reliance weren't fake. Each memory made him hate and miss it, but now, with their current relationship and Qin Zhan's attitude, he couldn't accept a return to the past.

Even though Zhou Liao knew Qin Zhan would always favor Bai Ling, as her family had supported him through his toughest times.

"Who said it's over?" Zhou Liao was furious, his blood boiling.

"Do you want to mess with her or me again? What answer do you want?" Qin Zhan turned away, his tone indifferent. "It's been a year. Live your own life."

This near-final statement felt like an axe chopping at already cracking ice, melting the fragments in the frigid river. Even the anger that had boiled his blood was now frozen by the chilling flow.

Zhou Liao endured his labored breathing, thinking of countless sleepless nights and endless cigarettes.

His fists clenched and unclenched repeatedly.

"Live my own life? Do you think the drugs I'm taking, the insomnia, the illness, who caused all of this?!"

"If you have the guts, then don't bother me!"

"Aren't you best at ignoring and rejecting?"

"On a sweltering day, from East District to West District, did I need you to carry me?"

"Even if I fainted, someone else would have helped me!"

He yelled almost uncontrollably, but the tall, solitary figure in front of him never turned back, not even a momentary pause.

After that day, time passed slowly. Zhou Liao's situation didn't change much, but his name remained prominent on campus, often the subject of gossip. Occasionally, news about him would reach Qin Zhan's ears.

Many said Zhou Liao seemed different, yet unchanged. Perhaps it was the fall that day, but rumors about his use of psychiatric medication spread rapidly across the school, though many doubted it. Various stories about his previous leave of absence also circulated.

Additionally, Qin Zhan learned that a new girl was seen with Zhou Liao, a freshman in the School of Fashion. He knew because he had seen her talking to Chen Xian, discussing plans for Zhou Liao's birthday at the end of next month.

On the weekend, Bai Ling, as usual, sent a message to Qin Zhan inviting him to dinner.

After the meal ended, Du Li invited Qin Zhan to go see a movie that had just premiered today. Qin Zhan usually had no interest in such things, but he didn't want to reject Du Li's kind intentions, so after dinner, he accompanied them to the mall in the city center, which was the only place showing it on an IMAX screen.

On the way to the mall, they chatted casually. As Du Li mentioned a new housing development nearby, Bai Ling suddenly turned her head as if she remembered something.

"By the way, Qin Zhan, do you want to move outside the Second Ring Road? I have a friend who’s subletting a loft for about two thousand, but I can negotiate it down to fifteen hundred for you. It's around forty square meters, two floors, but the apartment complex is nice and fully equipped."

"It's closer to work here, so I'm not considering moving right now."

"But your current environment is terrible. Are you still tight on money?" Du Li was genuinely concerned about Qin Zhan's financial situation.

"It's okay; I've almost paid off my debts."

"Once you graduate from university smoothly and find a good job, life will get better. Look forward, right?" Du Li was counting the days until their graduation, "When Bai Ling goes abroad for her master's, you should come visit me often."

Qin Zhan glanced at Bai Ling: "You're going abroad?"

"If I don’t get into grad school, of course I'll go abroad. Unlike you, with your excellent grades, I have to choose whether to pursue further studies or not." Bai Ling sighed.

Qin Zhan didn’t say anything more. When they arrived at the cinema and Bai Ling finished getting the tickets, Du Li suddenly clutched her stomach as if feeling unwell: "Why don't you guys go in first? I might have eaten some ice slush from your brother, and now my stomach feels uncomfortable."

"Huh? An ice slush makes you feel bad?" The young man clearly wasn’t convinced.

Du Li glared at him and handed her bag to her son before heading to the restroom.

"Let's wait here; there are still ten minutes," Bai Ling said, looking around at the crowded area, "There are so many people today."

"It's the weekend, and this is the premiere, so of course, it's packed," the younger brother said, sitting down to play with his phone.

"I’m going to buy some milk tea. Do you want any, Qin Zhan?" Bai Ling, having nothing else to do, thought it would be good to have something to drink during the movie.

"No, thank you."

"Got the tickets. Let's go in," the girl said, handing one of the tickets to the man who was looking elsewhere.

Zhou Liao turned at the sound: "Thanks."

"What were you looking at?"

"Nothing."

Zhou Liao responded coolly. Earlier, when Bai Ling handed her milk tea to Qin Zhan, the sight of Qin Zhan helping her carry her bag was too much, especially with her brother present, making them look like a close family.

"Let's go in then." The pretty girl beside him casually linked arms with Zhou Liao.

The cinema was bustling with people, and they ran into several acquaintances. As they entered, the popcorn in the girl's hand nearly spilled onto someone nearby.

"Sorry." She apologized, lifting her gaze to see a tall person beside her.

"No problem."

Zhou Liao glanced over and unexpectedly met Qin Zhan's eyes. Qin Zhan's gaze was emotionless, slightly downward, and then swept over the girl holding Zhou Liao's arm before entering without a word.

He clenched his teeth, and his fist tightened at his side.

Ironically, their seats were next to each other during the movie. Zhou Liao froze when he saw his assigned seat.

Bai Ling seemed equally surprised to see him, especially with another pretty girl beside him. She turned away, displeased. Though she was supposed to sit next to Qin Zhan, she immediately switched seats with her brother to avoid breathing the same air as Zhou Liao, leaving Du Li puzzled.

Zhou Liao took a deep breath. Both people in these seats were ones he had wronged in the past.

The girl behind him, unaware of what was happening, asked why he wasn’t sitting down.

Zhou Liao sat stiffly beside Qin Zhan, who remained focused on the big screen, showing no reaction to his presence.

As he sat down, the familiar cold scent of the person beside him enveloped him instantly. Zhou Liao felt both suffocated and nostalgic, a sensation ingrained from countless nights.

That night, after their conversation behind the convenience store, he had taken his medication and promptly vomited it all up, ending up kneeling by the toilet, his fingers gripping the edge until his knuckles turned white.

He swore he would never speak to Qin Zhan again, never interact with him, and never even give him a glance.

But the pain in his chest, a constant reminder of the mark Qin Zhan had left on his life, persisted. He had tried to remove it, but every time he stood before the mirror determined to do so, memories flooded back.

Good, bad, painful, happy, interdependent, a mental utopia like a cage.

So he started learning to move on. When the prettiest girl in his freshman year showed interest, he accepted it. They engaged in an ambiguous relationship without officially dating. He needed a woman aligned with his preferences to get back on track, and she got what she wanted. It was a mutual arrangement.

Zhou Liao felt no guilt because he knew she didn’t truly like him. Like the girls from his past, she was more interested in his fame, background, and looks than in him as a person. They hadn’t really interacted much, just adding each other as friends after meeting once at an event. How could that be love?

They just wanted a label, while only one person in the world knew the real him.

"Want some?" The girl turned, offering a piece of popcorn, her eyes sparkling under the lights.

Zhou Liao nodded to take it himself, but she fed it to him instead. He instinctively glanced at Qin Zhan, who was engrossed in the movie, paying them no attention.

"This popcorn is too sweet."

"A bit."

Perhaps due to the movie's climax, Qin Zhan shifted positions and inadvertently placed his arm on the armrest, touching Zhou Liao's fingertips. Zhou Liao held his breath.

He had no idea what the movie was about, feeling like a mummy frozen in his seat.

"More?"

"What?"

"Popcorn."

Zhou Liao held his breath, pretending his knuckles brushed against Qin Zhan's skin. Qin Zhan's skin was icy, with burn scars resembling keloids, shocking him to the core.

Perhaps it was because the other person was watching so intently and hadn't noticed his actions. Zhou Liao's movements gradually became bolder, from a gentle brush to a caress-like touch. He was like a traveler lost in the desert for a long time who had finally seen an oasis, almost unable to hide his longing and desire.

The next piece of popcorn was fed into his mouth, and in the darkness, the warmth of the woman's fingertips formed a stark contrast with Qin Zhan's cool skin.

"Would you like some water, brother?"

Just as Zhou Liao was about to speak, the arm that had been next to him suddenly moved away.