Chapter 55: Am I Shameless?

Chapter 55 Am I Without Shame?

Jiang Congyan bit her lip, unable to speak.

It was true, but she couldn't quite put it into words. Perhaps it was because the man was always fixated on this matter, coupled with his rough nature. When he got carried away, his gaze was like he wanted to devour her, which made her feel somewhat fearful and resistant.

Especially last night, she only felt pain and discomfort, with no pleasure at all. Even now, her body still burned with pain.

The back of her ears and neck tingled with an unbearable itch. She couldn't help but shrink her neck, only to be pinned by the man's chin, unable to move.

Her fair, jade-like skin instantly flushed with a rosy hue. This deep blush, emerging from beneath her skin, was ten times more beautiful than any rouge. Under the flickering candlelight, her delicate complexion glowed with a faint radiance, making one's mouth dry and throat parched.

The man didn't hesitate to kiss her.

From her earlobe to her cheek, and finally landing on her crimson lips.

She still clenched her teeth, trying to resist, but she was no match for the man's strength and tactics. In the end, he invaded her territory.

He especially loved kissing her deeply like this, savoring her taste, stealing her breath, and feeling her grow increasingly breathless under his kisses. It gave him the feeling that she was completely dependent on him.

He was thoroughly enjoying himself, but Jiang Congyan was suffering.

Running out of oxygen, she felt dizzy. Her nostrils were filled with the man's scent—not exactly fragrant, but not unpleasant either, just a thick, natural aura, perhaps his natural pheromones, which made her feel suffocated.

After what seemed like an eternity, the man finally released her, but he didn't let go. His large hand gently caressed her slender back.

A sudden, unfamiliar itchiness cleared Jiang Congyan's muddled thoughts. She quickly shoved him away with both arms.

"Don't."

The bright candlelight lit up the girl's flushed cheeks, as delicate as peach petals, and also revealed the resistance in her eyes.

"It hurts," she whimpered, frowning.

"Still hurts?" Tuo Baxiao finally paused, his thick brows knitting together. "It's been a whole day."

"..." Don't you realize how rough you were last night?

When men are in heat, does their IQ plummet? It hasn't even been a full day. Did she take some magic potion to instantly recover?

Jiang Congyan glared at him with a mix of grievance and anger. She really didn't want to deal with him, but she was afraid he would take her silence as consent. She could only manage to say in a hoarse voice, "It still hurts, it's uncomfortable. Let's rest tonight."

How can it be like this every single day? Is he really never tired?

Tuo Baxiao looked at her with difficulty. Her face was filled with resistance. Did she feel no pleasure at all, only pain? What was he supposed to do? If she kept feeling this way, how could he ever be content?

After waiting for over two months to finally marry her, he thought he could have her whenever he wanted from now on. But after just a taste, she wouldn't let him have more. Who could endure this?

Jiang Congyan had no idea he was already thinking so far ahead. Right now, she just wanted the man to drop the idea.

Tuo Baxiao was unwilling to let go. He pressed her, "Just once, is that not okay?"

"..." I don't believe a word you say!

Last night was unavoidable, but tonight she absolutely wouldn't give in. Unless he forced her against her will, if he really did that, she would have nothing more to say...

Jiang Congyan lowered her eyes, her long lashes casting a small shadow on her fair skin, concealing the emotions in her eyes. She remained silent, but her tilted, pale face and the coolness of her white neck all conveyed her refusal.

Tuo Baxiao was both anxious and angry, his body burning with unfulfilled desire. His bronze face turned red, and beads of sweat formed on his forehead.

But he remembered last night—it had been truly difficult, and her claim of pain wasn’t false.

Knowing this only made him more determined not to back down.

The low couch was small to begin with, with a kang table taking up one end, and the two books atop it had been swept to the floor in the earlier chaos. The man took up the rest of the space entirely, leaving them both squeezed onto the tiny couch as the temperature continued to rise.

Jiang Congyan noticed his breathing growing faster and heavier, his chest heaving with waves of heat. He held her tightly, his touch pressing against her side, while his deep green eyes burned with intensity, locked onto her.

When their eyes met, it felt like flames might erupt at any second, ready to consume her. Her heart tightened, and she tensed up as well.

She couldn’t quite grasp why men were so consumed by such things. Was it truly unbearable? Was it really... that bad?

After a long silence, Jiang Congyan’s body grew stiff, and she hesitantly spoke, "Maybe... you should head back to the royal tent?"

If they weren’t together—out of sight and out of reach—it might help.

This time, Tuo Baxiao was the one glaring at her fiercely. His deep, narrow green eyes had a naturally intimidating presence, but now, though still fierce, there was a hint of frustration, like a tiger that had been provoked.

Jiang Congyan had the sudden, inappropriate urge to laugh but held it back. If she laughed and angered the man, she wouldn’t have peace tonight.

After another tense silence, Jiang Congyan grew restless and cautiously moved backward. The moment she shifted, the man snapped out of his frozen state, his long arm sweeping around her waist and lifting her up.

Then he swept her up and carried her to the bed...

Jiang Congyan was pinned to the bed, startled and alarmed, thinking the man was still unwilling to give up. She pushed at him desperately, trying to scramble away, but he grabbed her ankle and pulled her back.

Tuo Baxiao kissed her roughly, his movements erratic for a while, his breathing heavy, his breath hot like fire. Just as she worried he would insist on doing it, he suddenly lay on top of her, burying his face heavily into her neck and not moving.

Jiang Congyan felt crushed under his weight, extremely uncomfortable. His large frame and heavy muscles, even though only his upper body was pressing on her, felt like a big rock crushing her, making her chest tight and hard to breathe. She pressed both hands against his chin, trying to push him away.

"You... get up, I can't... breathe," she said with difficulty.

Tuo Baxiao raised his long eyebrows and glanced at her, following her force to lift his neck and chest slightly away from her, reducing the pressure on her. His pupils moved down, finally landing on her pale fingers and slender wrist.

She hadn’t done any rough work, and her hands were well-maintained, the flesh of her palms incredibly tender, holding his face as soft as a cloud.

Tuo Baxiao suddenly thought that her hands should be even softer than her feet.

The fire in his eyes suddenly faded.

Jiang Congyan, seeing that he had finally calmed down, hurriedly replenished her oxygen, taking deep breaths. After a while, she cautiously looked over and found the man deep in thought, a glimmer of light flashing in his green pupils.

Her heart clenched again, and a wave of nervousness washed over her.

The man glanced at her.

Jiang Congyan’s back prickled with the feeling of being hunted. She quickly tried to escape backward, but Tuo Baxiao caught her slender wrist before she could, gently pulling her back into his embrace.

Then, he grabbed her wrist and pulled it towards him.

At first, she was puzzled, until she saw where he placed it—

"!!!"

Jiang Congyan's face turned red with shame and anger, desperately trying to pull her hand back.

But the man's strength was immense, his grip firm, lightly holding her wrist. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't break free, and instead, his rough palm rubbed her skin red, even causing some pain.

"You... you’re shameless!"

The girl lashed out, but her eyes darted away, her face turning red with embarrassment. Her bright eyes shimmered with tears, and even her scolding voice was soft and delicate, like a Persian cat trying to act tough—no match for a tiger. Only making him want to tease her more.

"I'm shameless? We've done far worse," Tuo Baxiao said fiercely.

"Shut up!" Jiang Congyan lunged to silence him, but he easily pinned her hands, leaving her unable to break free.

In their struggle, the man took the opportunity to free one arm and pull her into an embrace, making it look like she was the one embracing him.

Although some things had been done, hearing him talk so openly about it still embarrassed her, but he seemed utterly unfazed, not finding it the least bit embarrassing.

He was never one to beat around the bush—if he wanted something, he went for it, no holds barred.

He still held her hand, and Jiang Congyan wanted to refuse, but the man said something.

"If you help me out... I'll leave you alone tonight."

Jiang Congyan: "..."

Seeing her hesitation, Tuo Baxiao had no choice but to wrap his arm around her waist and coax her, "I'm serious. You know how long I've been holding back. It's been nearly three months since we left Chang'an for the royal court, and I've kept my promise. Last night didn't cut it, and now I'm all wound up again. We're married now—you can't expect me to live like a monk, can you?"

Back when he was single, it wasn't this bad. Back then, it was just an occasional need for relief, easily taken care of. But now, just seeing her, the urge was relentless, and he wished he could hold her every moment.

His deep voice grew rough and strained, his body tense.

He kept switching between their deal and their marriage, pulling her closer, his embrace a quiet threat. Jiang Congyan had no choice—in the end, she was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

She remained silent, and the man took it as her agreement. In a few quick movements, he removed his clothes, revealing his strong and powerful physique. She was too embarrassed to look directly, her gaze shifting to the side.

Although she didn't resist, she wasn't enthusiastic either, so the man had to take her hand and partly rely on himself...

Jiang Congyan's chin rested on his broad shoulder, feeling the heat radiating from his firm muscles, her gaze blankly fixed on the gauze curtains on the inner side of the bed.

The curtains swayed gently, moving without any wind.

"...Are you done yet?" she couldn't help but urge, mainly because it had really been a long time.

Her palms burned, hot and raw, and she began to wonder if they were chafed.

Tuo Baxiao panted without speaking, one large hand circling her shoulder, pulling her closer as he leaned in to kiss her, his other arm still gripping her hand.

Without the barrier of clothing, the man's shoulder and arm muscles bulged and relaxed with each movement, exuding a wild, dynamic beauty.

Jiang Congyan glanced briefly, then silently averted her gaze, closing her eyes and letting him continue to kiss her.

After her feet, her hands also lost their innocence.

...

In the end, she couldn't bear to look at her own hands, closing her eyes as the scoundrel fetched water to wash them several times.

Her palms were indeed red, with a slight burning sensation.

She couldn't help but complain, "It's always the same. Why can't you handle it yourself?" Instead of tormenting her.

Tuo Baxiao finally felt more at ease, pecking her soft, pink cheek and laughing, "It's not the same."

"How is it not the same?"

"It's like when you're ticklish. You always pull away when I touch you, but it doesn’t tickle when you touch yourself, does it?"

Jiang Congyan: "..."

She was speechless.

True... the touch of others feels different. Ah, stop it—what am I even thinking?

She tried to calm down, but the man still held her tightly, brushing aside her dark hair and occasionally planting light kisses on her soft, fragrant neck. Jiang Congyan was held from behind, his arms and legs wrapped around her, making her feel uncomfortable and keeping her awake. Worried he might still be fixated on that matter, she decided to bring up the morning incident when the Xianbei people had come to see her.

"What did they want with you?" Tuo Baxiao’s lips left her white neck, his voice suddenly turning colder, his arms unconsciously tightening around her.

Sensing his tension, Jiang Congyan turned her head and smiled, "What, are you worried I was bullied?"

Tuo Baxiao turned her to face him, "I’ve told you, I won’t let anyone bully you—no one."

She looked up at his cold, stern face so close to hers, slightly curling her lips, and suddenly raising her arm, her fingertips lightly tapped his chin. "The King’s word is law—of course I believe you."

She was about to withdraw her hand, but before she could, Tuo Baxiao caught it.

She seldom took the initiative to be close to him, each time feeling like the precious dew from Guanyin’s jade vase, just a drop could make one feel completely at ease, plus her soft tone, he was somewhat intoxicated.

Jiang Congyan noticed he was playing with her fingers again, afraid he might act impulsively, she quickly steered the conversation back on track.

"But they came for a serious matter."

"What matter?"

"They asked if I had extra sugar and spices to trade for cattle and sheep," Jiang Congyan said.

"If you want cattle and sheep, you don’t need to trade—I’ll give them to you," the man unconsciously moved closer.

Jiang Congyan pushed him away, avoiding his overly hot breath, "I know you have cattle and sheep, but I want to exchange them myself."

"Why? You married me, my cattle and sheep are your cattle and sheep, they wouldn’t dare question it."

This really had the vibe of a domineering CEO—‘my card, spend as you like.’ Jiang Congyan couldn’t help but laugh, revealing two shallow dimples on her cheeks.

Tuo Baxiao looked at her, puzzled, not understanding what was so amusing.

"Do you think I’m lying?" He gripped her shoulder.

Jiang Congyan stopped laughing and shook her head, "No."

Then why?

The man leaned over, his face hovering above hers.

"Because I want others to respect me," Jiang Congyan said, looking at him seriously.

"With you here, they wouldn’t dare bully me openly, but they might not truly accept me in their hearts, after all, I’m Han." At this point, she paused, indeed seeing Tuo Baxiao frown.

Tuo Baxiao, being of mixed blood, understood the mindset of the pure-blooded Xianbei nobles, not to mention many opposed when he wanted to go to Liang State.

Even the bravest Xianbei King could lead his men with courage, but he couldn’t control what others truly thought.

Jiang Congyan reached out, gently touching his brow, "I want to live well in the royal court, and I don’t want to make things difficult for you. If I can earn their genuine respect, that would be even better."

"Look, Chigan Balie used to despise me, but now he’s come around."

From the very beginning, she had no intention of completely relying on Tuo Baxiao, and she never concealed her desire for self-sufficiency and independence in front of him. So far, he didn't seem to dislike her for pursuing her own ambitions.

This was a rather rare quality.

Plus, she thought Tuo Baxiao might like her for this very reason, as he said she was "different" from others. This difference likely meant she wasn’t the type to always revolve around a man and instead wanted to achieve something on her own. This might stir a proud man’s desire to conquer.

Tuo Baxiao took her slender wrist, wrapping her delicate fingers in his palm. “Do you have so much spice to trade with them?”

Was he on board?

“No,” she said straightforwardly.

“Huh?”

Well, not exactly none. A few years ago, she had someone bring back some seeds from the Western Regions, but some took a long time to grow, and others were unsuitable for the climate. Only a small portion of the seeds could be cultivated and harvested. Liangzhou’s spice production was enough for local use, and even if exported, it wouldn’t yield much profit. If needed later, Liangzhou could always grow more, but for now, making sugar was the easiest and fastest way to go.

“But I know how to make sugar,” Jiang Congyan said with a smile. “If the King gives me some land, I can have a workshop built and keep producing sugar.”

“Will the King say yes?” She looked at him with bright eyes.

Tuo Baxiao, of course, wouldn’t say no. “How much land, and where?”

“Hmm… It doesn’t have to be huge for now, but being close to a water source would be best.”

“Alright, you can choose the location yourself.”

“Thank you, my King.” Jiang Congyan gently hugged him.

But this hug stirred trouble again. The man grabbed both her wrists, pinned them to the pillow, and leaned over her.

“…”

She turned her head, dodging him. “I’m tired, I want to sleep.”

“You’re not tired,” he said. She’d just been lively enough to chat about all that.

Besides, he had just agreed to let her set up a workshop. She would produce so much sugar; surely, she could share a little sweetness with him.

Tuo Baxiao didn’t let her refuse, his warm lips pressing against hers again.

…

By the end, her other hand was red too.

This time, she was truly exhausted. She fought to keep her eyes open, asking the man to wash her hands before she fell into a deep sleep.

She had wanted to talk about hiring craftsmen, but there was no chance now. It would have to wait until next time.

—

On the other side, the nobles who had obtained spices and sugar from Jiang Congyan couldn’t wait to enjoy them.

That tiny lamb skewer from last night wasn’t even a snack.

At night, they ordered their servants to roast meat using the methods described by the Han people, and the aroma wafted far with the wind.

The neighbors initially thought they were hallucinating from craving the roasted meat from last night, but upon following the scent, they found that they were indeed roasting meat with spices. !!!

The visitor’s eyes went wide. “Duan Muqi, what are you roasting?”

Duan Muqi saw someone approaching and quickly went up to stop him, covering his eyes with his hand. "It's nothing, just some grilled meat."

"This is the spice from the Han people. I didn't mistake the smell. Where did you get it?" He Rangan pulled down his hand, pushed him aside, and continued walking forward.

Seeing that he had been exposed and unable to stop him, Duan Muqi no longer hid it and directly told him about their morning visit to the Han Princess to exchange cattle and sheep for spices and sugar.

"...But the Han Princess said that the spices were gone, but they can make sugar. Once the houses are built, there will be plenty of sugar for us to eat on the grassland."

He Rangan's face remained stern.

Duan Muqi thought he was dissatisfied with him taking the initiative to trade with the Han Princess, so he added, "Don't worry, we are just exchanging for some sugar, we would never make a Han person a Khatun. I will persuade the king to marry a Xianbei woman in the future..."

"You went off by yourself without even telling me! Duan Muqi, do you not consider me a brother?" He Rangan suddenly interrupted him.

Duan Muqi: "Huh?"

"Now that Han Princess won't be giving out spices and sugar anymore." So he couldn't get any.

Even though it wasn't much, it was free! He Rangan was furious that he missed out on the freebie!

Duan Muqi scratched his head, "Well... you can join me for dinner tonight."

"Alright!"

He Rangan agreed almost as soon as the words were spoken.

Duan Muqi: "..." Feeling a bit regretful now, what should I do?

Later, as He Rangan wolfed down the scarce meat, Duan Muqi's regret hit its peak.

The spices he got were only enough for a few grills!

Under the starry sky on the grassland, amidst the bonfires, several children aged five to eight gathered between the tents to play games. They wrestled and used small wooden bows to determine who was the bravest Xianbei warrior.

Those who could live near the king's tent were mostly nobles, and these children were no ordinary ones, running around everywhere.

One kid pulled out a piece of sugar, flaunted it to his friends, and then popped it into his mouth to chew.

"Ah, so sweet! It's sugar!" He was very proud, the sound of his saliva smacking was particularly loud.

His friends' eyes widened, "How come you still have sugar?"

"My dad gave it to me. If you want some, go ask your own dads."

The others looked at him enviously, no longer in the mood to play, and ran home to tug at their dads' pants, asking if they had any sugar left.

"None left, it's all gone. Go play by yourself and stop bothering me." Their fathers waved impatiently.

"Liar! Dad's lying! Little Baldhead's dad gave him sugar..." ??? Where did they get the sugar?

Could they have secretly made a deal with that Han Princess behind our backs?

Mica also wanted to ask his dad for sugar when he got home, but his dad was in a foul mood today, snapping at anyone who spoke even a little too loudly. His mom said he was embarrassed last night after losing to the king in a contest and was throwing a fit. She told Mica to steer clear of him and let him be. He's always angry—if not today, then tomorrow. There's never a calm day. If no one pays him any mind, he'll cool off on his own.

Though Mica didn't fully grasp this, he obediently followed his mother's advice.

He licked his lips, tugged at his mom's sleeve, and said, "Mom, I want some sugar. Little Baldhead had sugar today."

His mom was confused, "Where did Little Baldhead get sugar from?"

"He said his older brother gave it to him," Mica said.

This kind of sugar only comes from that Han Princess. Did they go to the Han Princess?

"Mom doesn’t have any sugar either, Mica. Wait a bit, and Mom will ask tomorrow, okay? Here, have a piece of soft cheese flatbread."

Mica didn't get the sugar, and though he still craved it, he didn’t throw a tantrum after his mom said that.

He moped by his mom’s side, gnawing on the tangy cheese, still dreaming about the sugar he’d tasted yesterday.

That sweetness was the best thing he’d ever tasted.

Just then, the tent flap was pushed aside, and a little girl walked in.

"Qiu Liju, Mica."

She greeted them quietly, came over, and sat down on the carpet. Carefully, she pulled out a package wrapped in straw paper from her robe, then slowly opened it under their curious gazes.

"It's sugar!" Mica, who was about four or five years old, recognized it, his wide eyes sparkling.

"It is sugar," the girl smiled, grabbing a few pieces and handing them to Mica.

Qiu Liju, however, looked uneasy. She grabbed the girl's hand, "Lan Zhu, where did you get this sugar? Did you go to the Han Princess?"

She recognized this sugar as the same kind the Han Princess had distributed at the wedding yesterday.

Lan Zhu stiffened for a moment before slowly nodding, explaining in a low voice, "I saw many people going, so I followed along."

Qiu Liju didn’t quite agree, "Your older brother is in a bad mood. If he finds out you went to the Han Princess, he'll definitely scold you."

Lan Zhu puffed out her cheeks, looking both defiant and upset, "Hmph, just because he dislikes the Han Princess, he’s bossy and won’t let anyone else go either!"

She’d seen the princess today. The princess was so beautiful and had actively given out spices and sugar to everyone. She was a very gentle princess, and Lan Zhu didn't understand why her older brother was so hostile towards her.

Qiu Liju comforted her, "Alright, alright, don’t say anymore. Hide it, and don’t let your brother find out."

At that moment, footsteps were heard outside the tent. Their faces fell, and they quickly tucked the rest of the sugar into their robes.

Mica also knew his father was in a bad mood today and quickly slipped away, but halfway, he was suddenly lifted off the ground.

"Where are you going so late?" the man lifted the little boy.

Mica, startled, instinctively opened his hand, dropping the sugar he was clutching.

Hearing the noise, the man looked over and his expression instantly changed.