Chapter 64: “Saying I’m Not Good Enough?”

Chapter 64 "Are you saying I'm not good enough?"

After asking this question, Jiang Congyan felt an unprecedented nervousness. Her usually calm and steady heart tightened so much that she felt a slight twinge of pain.

She had prepared herself mentally long ago, the moment she accepted the imperial decree to marry Tuo Baxiao.

She didn't really know this man she had only met once, or maybe twice, and she had braced herself for the worst.

Her only condition at the time was that he must marry her with the rites befitting a principal wife, as this directly related to her future power and status.

Not only did he fulfill this, but the outcome far exceeded her expectations. Sometimes she even felt a bit dazed, thinking that he genuinely liked her.

But even if he was infatuated with her now, she couldn't go back in time to change his past.

Modern couples often have several relationships before getting married, let alone ancient rulers, for whom changing women was as common as changing clothes, too ordinary to even talk about.

But deep down, she had to admit that she actually cared.

She had an almost obsessive need for purity because she had never been in a relationship before, so her partner must also be pure. Yet she knew this was nearly impossible.

She had never considered getting married before; there were no men in this world who met her standards, and besides... she felt she couldn't love anyone.

Tuo Baxiao didn't expect her to ask this and was silent for a moment.

"Why are you asking this all of a sudden?"

He didn't say "no," and Jiang Congyan's heart sank into an unseen abyss.

Her eyelashes drooped even lower, her vision becoming blurry.

"Nothing," she shook her head lightly, her voice as soft as floating willow catkins.

She closed her eyes, ready to drift off to sleep.

But the next moment, she suddenly heard two words—

"No."

Also very soft, but like a massive firework exploding in her ears, shaking her soul.

She instinctively looked up at him, only to see the man avert his gaze, his sharp-boned face showing a rare unease.

This was uncommon; he was always so confident, looking down on the world, when had he ever been uneasy?

"No?" she stared at him blankly, repeating uncertainly, her eyes confused.

Tuo Baxiao also looked at her.

This world didn't demand that men remain chaste; on the contrary, it praised those who were free and unrestrained. The more women a man had, the more his reputation grew, and the more respect he commanded among men.

The customs on the grasslands were somewhat different, but even more barbaric and straightforward. Except for noblewomen, other women were considered property, like gold and jewels. The more women a man had, the more it demonstrated his bravery. If he had many children, it further showcased his virility. Having no women was seen as a sign of weakness.

His unease stemmed from this; having no women before seemed to him not a matter of pride.

"I only want to be close to you," Tuo Baxiao said.

"Why?" Jiang Congyan silently asked in her heart, but ultimately didn't voice it.

She felt the man's mood was also low, and there seemed to be some other reason behind it. Otherwise, given the customs of the grasslands and his status, he should have had countless wives and concubines by now.

Whatever the reason, it's fine if he doesn't have any.

She didn't suspect that he would lie to her. He was such a proud king, disdaining to deceive her on such matters, and there was no need for it.

Jiang Congyan lay quietly in his embrace, her waist held by him, her face resting against his muscular shoulder. His strong arm draped over her neck, and his leg entwined with hers.

Their posture was intimate, yet the atmosphere wasn't as heated as before. Instead, it had turned into a different kind of calm.

She now understood why the first two times had been so challenging. She had thought that men were naturally rough and impatient in bed, caring only about their own pleasure. After all, men didn't need to cater to women. But she hadn't considered that perhaps he himself didn't know any better, acting purely on instinct without understanding the need for gradual progression.

After she brought it up, he seemed to understand something and finally wasn't as rushed. Sometimes he could even restrain himself, continuously kissing and caressing her. She trembled and curled up under his caress, and seeing her reactions, he seemed to become even more excited and interested. Lately, he even deliberately teased her, making her unable to hold back her tears. Compared to his initial behavior in bed, it was as if he had become a completely different person.

From this perspective, his progress was quite noticeable.

But she couldn't be faulted for misunderstanding at first. Aside from the societal environment, his own behavior didn't resemble that of a novice at all. From the start, he had looked at her with an intensely predatory gaze, followed by embracing and cradling her. Even during the horseback ride, he was adept and composed, without any of the awkwardness one might expect from someone interacting with a woman for the first time. Instead, he seemed like a seasoned expert. After all, who would start off on horseback...

The only sign of inexperience was on their wedding night, when he fumbled for a while, and it was much shorter than usual.

But at the time, she had been extremely nervous and in too much pain to consider it, so this slight anomaly was overlooked.

He hadn't been with any other women before. Thinking of this, Jiang Congyan suddenly felt a bit more at ease, forgiving his earlier roughness. At least in this matter, she felt somewhat equal. As for whether there would be others in the future, that was something to consider later.

Jiang Congyan relaxed, her expression softening as she closed her eyes again, ready to sleep.

But the man wasn't about to let her off so easily. He, too, had been stirred by curiosity.

"Why did you ask that?" His strong hand gripped her chin, forcing her to look up at him.

He really wanted to know the reason. For a moment, he had sensed her low spirits, though it had quickly passed.

With him holding her like this, Jiang Congyan had no choice but to open her eyes.

She couldn't quite explain the reason herself—it had been a momentary impulse. But the man was staring at her intently, clearly not about to let her go without an answer. So she said, "I noticed you didn't seem to know much about women, so I asked."

Tuo Baxiao frowned. This wasn't what he had expected.

He wasn't sure what answer he wanted, but her response didn't make him happy.

"Is that all? Nothing else?" he pressed, his tone hinting at something more.

He wanted her to say something else, perhaps some sweet words, but Jiang Congyan couldn't bring herself to say them.

"No."

"Aren't you jealous?" the man pressed further, almost explicitly asking her to say those words to appease him.

"There's no one else to be jealous of," she said, pushing his hand away and turning her face aside.

Tuo Baxiao gritted his teeth, still unwilling to let it go.

If she wouldn't say it, he would keep teasing her, deliberately breathing on her neck to keep her from sleeping.

"Then why?"

Jiang Congyan, thoroughly annoyed, finally couldn't take it anymore. She slapped his face away and glared at him. "Because I realized your technique was terrible before, and it made me uncomfortable. That's why I asked, okay?"

Tuo Baxiao: "..."

The air froze for a moment.

Tuo Baxiao's expression froze, his face turning pale, his emerald eyes darkening completely.

Seeing his reaction, Jiang Congyan suddenly regretted her impulsive words. Had she hurt his feelings?

But... what she said was the truth. She had been putting up with him for a long time.

Enjoying pleasure wasn't wrong, and being unskilled was understandable, but he not only indulged, his skills were lacking, and he was overly confident. If she hadn't brought it up, he wouldn't have realized where he fell short.

She instinctively shrunk back, trying to distance herself from him, but in the next moment, he pulled her hard against his chest.

Tuo Baxiao bit down on her fair cheek fiercely, his voice muffled through clenched teeth.

"Do you despise me?"

"Say I'm no good?"

His iron grip around her waist tightened relentlessly, making her feel like her waist might snap, and her breathing became labored, but she didn't dare show any sign of discomfort.

It seemed... she had really provoked him.

The situation was dire, and fearing he might lose control, she quickly begged for mercy. "No, no, that's not what I meant. You misunderstood."

Tuo Baxiao sneered, "Misunderstood? I heard you loud and clear."

"That was before. It's much better now."

"So, you still think I'm not good enough."

"..."

You sure know how to hit where it hurts.

Tuo Baxiao's pride was deeply wounded, leaving him both furious and resentful, wishing he could tear her apart and devour her whole.

He kept biting her face and neck, like a wolf devouring its prey.

Jiang Congyan winced from the bites, which were both itchy and painful. She whimpered softly, begging for mercy, but the man was beyond reason, intent on punishing her for her earlier words.

Don't ask how she felt now—just regret, deep regret. If she had known, she would have sweet-talked her way out of it, but now she had angered him and landed herself in this mess.

He bit, she pushed, the two of them grappling until her clothes were in disarray, revealing the flawless skin of her shoulders and the pink bud on her chest, its red tip a stark contrast against her pale skin.

Tuo Baxiao's eyes darkened as he saw it, and he leaned in to kiss it.

Jiang Congyan realized he was getting carried away and quickly stopped him. "No, not today."

"It's that time of the month..."

He froze.

Tuo Baxiao took several deep breaths before finally looking up, his fiery gaze almost scorching her.

Jiang Congyan's expression was nervous, her tone careful and appeasing as she gently pushed his shoulder. "You should get off first."

He didn't budge.

"It's not my fault you're like this. It's you... you didn't care..."

Tuo Baxiao had never felt so humiliated. He was being rejected, yet there was nothing he could do about it.

She hadn't done anything, but she was so beautiful, with her hair tousled and her clothes askew, just lying beneath him was enough to drive him wild.

His hands, resting on either side of her, clenched into fists, the veins on his lean hands and forearms bulging prominently.

He was breathing heavily, sweat breaking out on his forehead, his face flushed red.

If it weren't for the unfortunate timing, he would have made sure she couldn't get out of bed the next day.

He could only remember this and wait for a couple of days...

Finally, he gave her a long, intense look before finally releasing her.

Jiang Congyan understood the man's intentions, and her heart raced with panic, dreading what the future might hold.