Chapter 36

Chapter 36

The minister asked a few questions but, seeing that Qi Yanyu couldn’t squeeze a word out of him, didn’t worry much about him and soon left.

Qi Yanyu applied glue, lowering his eyes slightly. “I’ll head back after finishing this.”

Lin Na: “You’re leaving me alone as the props handler again?” He made it sound like Qi Yanyu had abandoned him multiple times.

Qi Yanyu nodded, applying glue to the last prop half-heartedly.

Lin Na didn’t know why he was in such a hurry to leave—until he noticed that Senior Xia and the others seemed to have arrived, preparing backstage for their rehearsal.

“Senior’s here,” Lin Na quickly tipped off Qi Yanyu, though the President was also present. If the President hadn’t been there, Qi Yanyu definitely wouldn’t have been willing to leave.

Precisely because they had arrived, Qi Yanyu didn’t want to stay any longer.

“Done,” Qi Yanyu finally finished the last prop and handed it back to Lin Na. As he slipped away discreetly via another staircase, the President’s team happened to take the stage.

Lin Na watched him, astonished. “Hey, giving up on being a lovesick fool?”

Qi Yanyu returned to his dorm before 8:30 p.m. Huang Shaoze wasn’t there—probably at the library studying. Qi Yuanhan was gaming in the dorm and barely glanced at him without saying a word.

Qi Yanyu remained silent, picked out a few of his books, and left.

Walking through the cool night air, he headed to the library, climbing to the fifth floor—crowded to the brim.

He then went to the fourth floor, still remembering Seat F-49. But someone else had taken it—neither Gu Jinglan nor a stranger.

Qi Yanyu finally found an empty seat and sat down.

He flipped open the book’s table of contents, but his thoughts drifted.

Lin Na had even secretly snapped photos of Xia Yiyi for him, thinking he was heartbroken over his crush. “I’ve got your back, bro,” he teased, half-mocking, half-concerned.

Qi Yanyu wanted to delete the photos, but his gaze lingered on Gu Jinglan standing beside Xia Yiyi in the shots.

Out of six candid photos, Gu Jinglan appeared in two. He stared at the man for a while before reluctantly powering off his phone.

Qi Yanyu opened his biochemistry textbook. His old study habit was to start with the hardest subject first.

Facing pages crammed with organic chemical equations, mRNA, rRNA, tRNA, and endless synthesis, regulation, modification, expression, and signal transduction, he slowly immersed himself in the sea of RNA, his pen gliding lightly across the page, his curled fingers gripping the pen tightly.

If he didn’t think about it, his heart wouldn’t clench in suffocating pain.

Didn’t you say you’d come back to get better grades? Just study for a while.

Lovers will betray you, family will abandon you, friends will leave you—but biochemistry won’t, because either you know it or you don’t.

You can do this. Weren’t you a practicing doctor for over a year?

Even if you can’t escape this textbook, at least find something to do. Stop thinking about it—isn’t your heart hurting enough already?

He had even finished all the aspirin he purified himself in the pharmacy lab. The 140-plus pills he’d prepared earlier were all gone, and reality still hadn’t returned to him. The doctor had switched his aspirin to clopidogrel, but the latter wasn’t as effective for pain relief.

Slowly, perhaps in this self-induced trance, Qi Yanyu truly lost himself in his studies.

The library closed before 10 p.m. The closing music jolted him back to reality, leaving him dazed—as if, for that brief moment, he had truly returned to the real world.

Gathering his books, he headed back to the dorm, arriving at Room 413. Huang Shaoze had returned and was using the last of the hot water before lights-out to wash up. Qi Yuanhan was playing on his phone, while Gu Jinglan's seat was empty. He might’ve been rehearsing with Xia Yiyi or was off somewhere on campus.

Grabbing a couple more books, Qi Yanyu left the dorm and went to the sixth floor of the building.

After the 10 p.m. curfew, students streamed back from the library to the study rooms on the sixth floor, so the classrooms there were also packed.

Qi Yanyu found an empty spot in a corner and opened his book.

His left hand, clenched tight, had gone slightly numb—a result of not studying properly and letting his thoughts wander.

He pinched his left hand a few times with his right hand, just enough to feel a dull throb.

He reopened the biochemistry textbook he had been reviewing earlier. Studying would distract him from the ache in his chest.

A few minutes past ten, Gu Jinglan returned to Room 413 but noticed the person in Bed 3 was missing, figuring Qi Yanyu hadn’t returned yet.

He casually asked the other two in the dorm, "Where’s No. 3? What’s he up to?"

"Who knows?" Huang Shaoze shrugged. "Didn’t notice."

In their dorm, the counselor made nightly rounds. Gu Jinglan asked again, "Has the counselor been by yet?"

"Yeah," Qi Yuanhan said, not looking up from his phone. The counselor had come by at ten.

Not seeing Qi Yanyu in the dorm, the counselor later found out via text that he was in the study room on the sixth floor. He went up to check and, sure enough, Qi Yanyu was there. The male counselor then left to rest.

Qi Yanyu studied in the study room until four in the morning. The crowd thinned from packed to half-empty, then down to three or four people, then two, until finally, he was the only one left. By the time he returned to the dorm, every desk lamp in 413 was dark—everyone was asleep.

Qi Yanyu placed his books on the desk, then turned and sat on his bed, looking toward Bed 1.

The person in Bed 1 was also asleep. A sliver of hallway light seeped in through the glass window on the door.

He couldn’t see clearly, but he could vaguely make out the outline of Gu Jinglan sleeping.

The aspirin churned in his stomach, and his heart ached slightly from staying up late.

He lit a cigarette—a slender one, pinched between his fingers—and a faint red ember glowed in the dark.

The room was dim, illuminated only by the faint hallway light outside. His eyes adjusted slowly to the gloom, allowing him to see the person across from him more clearly.

He’d smoked the cigarette down to the filter before he noticed.

Qi Yanyu hesitated to light a second one, afraid it might trigger his asthma and give *him* another reason to say he was dragging the dorm down.

After stubbing out the cigarette, he stared at Gu Jinglan’s sleeping form for five, six minutes.

Then, he took the desk lamp to his bed, setting it to the dimmest light. He covered himself with the blanket, tucking the lamp and book under the covers.

As he opened the book, his mind kept flashing images—Gu dedicating a song to Xia at band practice, the rehearsal moves between Gu Jinglan and Xia Yiyi, and the sound of Gu Jinglan saying he and Qi Yuanhan were the same kind of people.

The images and voices crowded his head. He barely managed to read one page, but when he turned to the next, his numb left hand shook as he turned the page.

Someone like him, born with a silver spoon, had never known hardship—except the pain of love.

Pressing the corner of the book against his chest to suppress the tightness in his chest, he kept turning the pages. Studying helped—busywork made the hours crawl by.

On Saturday, the student council organized a dinner using leftover sponsor cash as a reward for everyone.

The Academic Department, External Relations Department, Sports Department, and Women’s Department shared one table, while the Secretariat and President’s table sat apart.

Qi Yanyu and Lin Na were having a meal when Yi Na asked them to propose a toast to President Gu.

Qi Yanyu didn’t go. Lin Na came back and told him, "Your crush is actually with the President now—they’re sitting together!"

Qi Yanyu took a sip of his drink and went back to studying. Minister Ying Shaojie was also there—a smooth operator, adept at navigating relationships among the various department heads—and he got along well with Gu Jinglan.

Seeing them about to leave, he asked, "Not sticking around?"

After stepping out to vomit a little from the alcohol, Qi Yanyu and Lin Na returned to campus, said goodbye at the campus gate dividing the east and west quads.

Qi Yanyu went back to the library to study. He’d noticed Gu Jinglan and Xia Yiyi sitting together—his chest tightened, but he still opened his books and forced himself to push through, even though it was hard.

That week, he wrapped up reviewing Human Anatomy, Histology and Embryology, Biochemistry, Neurobiology, Pharmacology and Physiology, Immunology, Diagnostics, Internal Medicine, Surgery, Marxist Philosophy, English, Advanced Mathematics, Medical Physics, and Chemistry.

That left just Obstetrics and Gynecology, Pediatrics, Medical Psychology, and Doctor-Patient Communication and Skills.

On a study break, Qi Yanyu checked his socials and scrolled through posts of Gu Jinglan and Xia Yiyi posted by their department.

He discovered the student union had an official account with tons of posts featuring Gu Jinglan and Xia Yiyi.

Between study sessions, Qi Yanyu went through every post from the past year, looking at all of Gu Jinglan’s activity photos before finally unfollowing.

But soon, he caved to the urge—he still wanted to see Gu Jinglan.

He had been studying for so many days, so taking an extra ten-minute break to reward himself wasn’t unreasonable, right?

He opened the massive student union group where he had initially added Xia Yiyi. He sent her a friend request, figuring even if they weren’t a couple yet, her social media would likely have posts about Gu Jinglan.

Surprisingly, Xia Yiyi accepted.

So, Qi Yanyu scrolled through her profile—plenty of scenery, travel, work, and study photos, with the occasional personal shot.

Recently, most of her posts were about club activities and competition projects. And sure enough, Qi Yanyu found pictures of her and Gu Jinglan at events.

Photos of them receiving awards, at gatherings, in competition groups simulating patient diagnosis—Xia Yiyi in the forefront throwing up a peace sign while others worked behind her. Gu Jinglan, though focused on the simulation in his hands, was still the focal point in every shot, even if unintentionally captured.

Qi Yanyu closed the app.

No big deal, he told himself.

There were still a few subjects left to review. After finishing those, he’d let himself dwell on other things.

Every day was spent attending lectures and studying at night. Occasionally, when exhausted, Qi Yanyu would pace the soccer field.

Twice, he had shadowed the maybe-couple on their strolls.

Following them as they circled the track felt like fermented misery till his heart curdled like overripe fruit.

Watching them walk, chat, the girl sometimes animatedly happy, occasionally patting the guy’s shoulder—but no real intimacy. Maybe they were still in that ambiguous stage.

Qi Yanyu forced himself to look away, only to glance back again.

He felt like a creeping rodent. But he was just taking a break from studying—wasn’t he allowed to pace the soccer field?

Yet deep down, he knew he had deliberately timed his walks to follow them after student union meetings or events, following them to the soccer field.

He hadn't intended to stalk them—he was just tired from studying, so he picked up his phone. But he had already seen all the photos there were to see; there were no new ones.

It was like some kind of addiction, this need to see that person.

A voice in Qi Yanyu's heart spoke up: *Don’t embarrass yourself. Have you forgotten your original purpose?*

What was his original purpose? To live, just going through the motions of living. On the rare day he felt relaxed, he should try to be happy, not walk around looking so down in the dumps.

Qi Yanyu answered himself: *I don’t think I can be happy. I don’t know why.*

The original voice in his heart spoke again: *Why do you keep focusing on them? Aren’t you just looking for trouble?*

Qi Yanyu replied indifferently: *It’s not so bad.*

It was like an addiction—he couldn’t control himself from stopping. After finishing a subject, after studying and reviewing, there would be a little free time. And in that little time, his thoughts would inevitably wander, always coming back to Gu Jinglan.

He answered the voice in his heart: *I’m not miserable, and I’m not deliberately seeking distress.*

Maybe he was just being stubborn. Or maybe this constant dull ache in his heart had become so familiar that he no longer remembered what normal feelings were like.

His chest felt tight. Whenever he wasn’t studying, his mind would drift, leaving his chest aching and raw. Sometimes it would stop abruptly; other times, it would spread like radiating needles.

After the 11 p.m. curfew, he was still walking on the football field. Completely empty—just him, head lowered, no lights, only the distant neon signs and the glow of high-rises casting dim light onto the field.

He returned at midnight, swiping his access card. His big brother was bound to find out.

Of course he went to the sixth-floor study room.

When he returned, Room 413 was quiet, except for Huang Shaoze's occasional snoring and the steady breathing of everyone else.

He passed by the beds, glancing at the bed across from his for just a moment before lying down and telling himself: *Not everything can go as you wish. If it did, then what would be human about us? If being human were happier than being a god, there would be no gods in this world.*

He wondered how much longer he would have to endure this feeling.

*Hurry up. Let time pass faster.*

The day before midterms, Qi Yanyu saw Xia Yiyi’s post on social media—a perfume bottle shaped like butterfly wings, with a happy caption saying it was the best, most wonderful-smelling perfume she had ever received.

The perfume had originally been wrapped in pale gray paper, a color that reminded Qi Yanyu of the paper he'd seen on Gu Jinglan’s desk.

*Oh. What kind of perfume did he give her? Something so impressive that she was raving it was the best and most wonderful-smelling?*

Qi Yanyu kept staring at the photo over and over, unable to tell if the letters on it were French or some other language. After saving it, he compared it to many perfume brands but couldn’t find anything matching its shape or the lettering logo.

Later, Qi Yanyu realized it might be a niche foreign perfume purchased through a shopping agent. He contacted over ten agents before finally learning from one that it was a small Greek brand.

Qi Yanyu sent the photo of Xia Yiyi’s perfume to the agent and asked, *"Do you have this one?"*

*"Yes. Which version do you want?"*

*"This one, the butterfly-shaped bottle."*

*"They all come in butterfly bottles. What fragrance are you after?"*

Qi Yanyu asked, *"What scent is the one in the photo?"*

*"I can't tell just from the photo."*

*"You can’t tell?"*

"Yes, this one comes in a total of thirty-one scents."

Qi Yanyu transferred the payment for all thirty-one bottles along with an additional tip: "Where are you? I’ll come pick them up."

The seller was thrilled—he hadn’t expected Qi Yanyu to pay the full amount upfront rather than just a deposit. "Even with express shipping from Greece, it’ll still take five or six days."

Midterms week was packed—classes and exams every day, plus evening tests.

Qi Yanyu was chill about it. While everyone else pulled all-nighters cramming, he was already in the study lounge watching cartoons.

He had finished reviewing everything two weeks prior. He got just as absorbed in cartoons as he did in studying, leaving no room for other thoughts.

By eleven, he’d get sleepy and head back to the dorm. After a quick shower with barely warm water, he crashed in Room 413, where people partied all night.

The weekend after midterms was reserved for a field trip.

Qi Yanyu couldn’t care less about the trip. He figured Xia Yiyi and Gu Jinglan would probably room together.

On Friday, after midterms, he received the package from Greece.

A whole large box containing thirty-one bottles, all well-packaged. Each bottle was just 200ml—he’d thought perfumes were usually 1 or 2 liters, and was surprised to see such small ones.

But his asthma meant strong scents were off-limits. He just stared at the butterfly-shaped bottles, examining them over and over.

He’d need to carve out time to test all thirty-one and see if he could identify the scent of the one Xia Yiyi had received.

The midterm results were released on Friday, just as they were leaving for the field trip.

Huang Shaoze pulled up the class group chat and tapped the grades spreadsheet. Out of habit, he scrolled to the top—and almost choked.

What the hell were these scores? Straight 100s in biochem, immunology, peds, surgery, internal med, advanced math…

Qi Yuanhan usually didn’t care about grades, only checking to see if he’d failed any subjects. But when he opened the file, his eyes inadvertently landed on the name at the top.

He’d bet money on Gu Jinglan—so who the hell was above him?

Squinting at his phone, he zoomed in on the spreadsheet, realizing the person ranked above Gu Jinglan was actually the "Crown Prince" (Qi Yanyu)!

"What idiot made this? Did they screw up the data?" Qi Yuanhan exclaimed dramatically, thinking maybe another class’s top scorer had been mistakenly listed under Qi Yanyu’s name in their class.

He swore it had to be a glitch, but even if another class’s results had been mixed in, how could anyone surpass Gu Jinglan?

Gu Jinglan had owned their major for years, no matter how many competitions he participated in or how many student council meetings he attended.

Qi Yuanhan leaned in, scanning Qi Yanyu’s scores line by line.

100, 100, 100, 99.5, 100, 99.5, 100, 100…

When Qi Yuanhan climbed onto the field trip bus, everyone in the class was buzzing about the results—no one could ignore them. The bus erupted:

"No way—Gu Jinglan got dethroned??"

"Wait, this guy’s in our class? Since when was he a genius?"

"Hold up—this guy goes here???"

"You missed it? He sat out freshman year and transferred in sophomore year."

"Is this spreadsheet bugged? Nobody aces everything. This has to be fake!"

"I totally bombed biochem! The average is around 40 or 50 for everyone—how the hell did this guy ace it?"

"Impressive, truly impressive!"

"Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous." Only Qi Yuanhan was fuming with indignation. "This cheat bought the answers!"

Seated beside him was Huang Shaoze, whose grades were middling. He wasn’t looking at his own scores but at Qi Yanyu’s…

He knew Qi Yanyu was good at practical exams, but he never expected his theoretical scores to be just as flawless—almost every subject was full marks.

Huang Shaoze was floored, unable to respond to Qi Yuanhan’s rant for a long time.

"Bullshit! He accused me of buying test papers, but he didn’t? He absolutely did!" Qi Yuanhan was determined to wait until Gu Jinglan boarded the bus to ask him, "Do you think this guy bought the test? No doubt he did!"

When Qi Yanyu got on the bus, most seats were already taken, leaving only a few empty spots in the front.

He sat down, carrying the package of perfumes in his backpack since he'd just grabbed it. He hadn’t brought much else—he had no clue what a college fall trip involved.

Probably just some hiking and beers or whatever.

After settling in, he checked his phone and saw a congratulatory message from the counselor.

Still unclear about the situation, he opened the buzzing class group chat and found the midterm score ranking sheet.

He scrolled down but couldn’t find his name.

Looking again, he realized his name was right next to Gu Jinglan’s.

Except he was ranked first, and Gu Jinglan was second.

Qi Yanyu calmly checked his scores. Surprisingly, he felt weirdly calm—no joy, excitement, disbelief, relief, or even satisfaction at surpassing Gu Jinglan. Instead, his mind was eerily composed.

Lowering his gaze, he took the medicine Zhang Liu had just given him and put the rest back into his perfume-filled backpack.

Homework done, revision finished, midterms over—he was suddenly at loose ends.

Back to being a bum, it seemed.

He didn’t notice Qi Yuanhan and Huang Shaoze sitting nearby.

Qi Yuanhan only then realized Qi Yanyu was sitting right by them. "You bought the test, didn’t you? You absolutely bought it. And you had the nerve to accuse me?"

For the first time, Qi Yanyu felt a smirk coming on. He deadpanned, "Yeah, I bought it."

Qi Yuanhan saw red, wishing he could announce to the entire class and department: "He bought the test! He bought the answers!! There’s no way he scored this well!"

Huang Shaoze stared at that insane string of perfect scores until he was getting misty-eyed.

He knew this couldn’t be cheating—Qi Yanyu had always wiped the floor with him in labs.

As a small-town tryhard who had grinded his ass off to get here, coming to Kanyu Med had taught him that there would always be someone better.

"You don’t actually think that just because the teachers handed you this, you’re hot shit now?"

Qi Yuanhan was so salty he was chewing steel. Back in high school, he was always top ten.