Chapter 49

Chapter 49

"A Yan?"

Swallowing hard, Shang Xueyan's gaze darted uneasily as he said, "I'm done. I have to go out of town tomorrow. I should get to bed early tonight."

"I'm heading upstairs, Big Bro."

Shang Xueyan bolted up to the second floor in one breath, his back pressed tightly against the door. His mind hadn’t calmed down yet. Shit, was it just a kiss? Well, actually, he’d been kissed several times, but Big Bro’s reaction… was way too over the top.

Shang Xueyan’s lips parted as he breathed rapidly. In that moment, he realized with absolute clarity that the person he was dating was a man—a man with the same physical build as him, a man full of a sense of danger and aggression. Even though the other was trying hard to suppress his aggressive vibe, it was only restrained, not nonexistent.

Shang Xueyan covered his face with both hands and let out a muffled groan.

How do men even do it with other men?

Shang Xueyan suddenly felt a bit scared.

After his breathing steadied, he went to the bathroom to freshen up. Once finished, he returned to his room, and the shock and fear had mostly faded away.

Burying his head in the soft bed, Shang Xueyan took a deep breath. Even though he hadn’t stayed here for half a month, it didn’t feel unfamiliar at all. On the contrary, it felt incredibly familiar and grounded.

Rubbing his head against the soft pillow, Shang Xueyan stretched out his arm and fumbled around the bed until he found his phone.

Sitting up cross-legged, Shang Xueyan saw a message his Big Bro had just sent him.

"Did I freak you out just now?"

It wasn’t so much fear as shock; after all, it was just a few kisses, and only on the lips.

Shang Xueyan: "It's fine."

As soon as he sent the message, a voice call rang out—it was from Shang Xianwang.

Shang Xueyan clenched the bedsheet, cleared his throat, and pressed the answer button.

Shang Xianwang murmured, saying, "A Yan, rest assured, I won’t pressure you to do anything you’re unwilling to do."

Shang Xueyan’s gaze was unfocused as he whispered, "It’s not that I’m worried, it’s just… it’s the first time I’ve seen something like that, you have to be patient with me." He mumbled the middle part indistinctly.

"Of course I’ll be patient with you. I’ll be patient with you for a lifetime, A Yan."

Suddenly, a feeling of being deeply loved enveloped Shang Xueyan. He trusted Shang Xianwang completely. Looking back carefully, the hesitation when holding hands, the retreat every time a kiss was about to happen—it wasn’t about not wanting it, but wanting it too much, with a desire so intense it could ignite at the slightest touch.

But desire was not more important than Shang Xueyan. Everything could be suppressed for Shang Xueyan’s sake.

Even if desire was about to break out of its cage, ready to devour, reaching an uncontrollable level, Shang Xueyan would always remain that precarious yet unbreakable thread.

A fierce impulse and heartbeat wildly surged from his heart. Without thinking, Shang Xueyan blurted out, "Big Bro, actually, sometimes you can be more confident."

A bit shy, a bit embarrassed, but at his core, Shang Xueyan was brave. He said clearly, "I’m into you more than you think."

"A Yan." Shang Xianwang’s breath hitched.

Shang Xueyan coughed lightly, "Alright, that’s enough. I’m going to sleep now, Big Bro. Goodnight."

Lying in bed, Shang Xueyan turned off the light, placed his hand on his chest, and felt his heartbeat pounding in his ears. It took a while before sleepiness finally came over him. He turned over and fell into a deep, heavy sleep.

The next day, Shang Xueyan was woken up by Shang Xianwang, who stood by his bed and said calmly, "A Yan, it’s almost 7:30. Your train is at nine, and it’s Monday today—there’s likely to be traffic during the morning rush."

Shang Xueyan groaned, hugging the blanket, then leaped out of bed abruptly. "Damn, didn’t I set the alarm for seven?"

It was a hectic morning. After rushing through his wash-up, Shang Xueyan remembered he hadn’t packed his luggage yet. The original plan was to pack last night, but he ended up forgetting everything.

With his suitcase laid open, he randomly grabbed a few clothes from the closet and hurriedly tossed them in.

"A Yan, Fucheng’s temperature is much higher than Jing City’s. The clothes you brought are too thick." Shang Xianwang hung the clothes Shang Xueyan had selected back in the closet. His slender fingers moved swiftly as he picked out a few lighter hoodies, long T-shirts, sweatpants, and casual trousers, folding them neatly before methodically placing them into packing cubes.

"It might get a bit cold at night, remember to wear your jacket." He took a versatile white baseball jacket from the closet and put it in.

Next were two sets of pajamas and several pairs of socks. He skillfully opened Shang Xueyan’s underwear drawer and calmly took out a few pairs of underwear.

Finally, he also picked out the clothes Shang Xueyan would wear today. "Wear this set. When you get to Fucheng, just take off the jacket."

"Change your clothes. I’ll go to the bathroom to pack your toiletries for you."

Thanks to Shang Xianwang’s seemingly unhurried but actually very efficient help, Shang Xueyan was seated in the passenger seat of the Maybach before eight o’clock.

Luck was on their side today too—there was no traffic on the road. The time to reach the train station wasn’t overly generous, but it wasn’t tight either.

The Maybach stopped at a temporary drop-off zone outside the east station, next to a massive dark blue steel structure. Many people were saying goodbye or reuniting here, but more were alone, hurrying off to other places.

This wasn’t the first time Shang Xianwang had seen Shang Xueyan off. Last autumn, when he went to Gansu Province for filming, and last winter, when he went to Yunnan Province for filming, Shang Xianwang had driven him to the airport both times.

He didn’t just drop him off at the parking spot either. He got out of the car, pulled Shang Xueyan’s suitcase along, and continued walking. Airports and train stations were completely different. At the train station’s dark green entrance, there was already the first ticket checkpoint.

Shang Xianwang couldn’t go any further inside.

Shang Xianwang stopped and handed the suitcase to Shang Xueyan.

It was strange—there was always some reluctance when parting, but for some reason, this separation made Shang Xueyan especially reluctant.

It was only five days away. He’d be back on Friday.

Was there really a need to be so clingy?

Clearing his throat, Shang Xueyan lifted his chin and said decisively, "Big Bro, I’ll get going now."

"Mm, I’ll watch you go in."

Taking a light breath, Shang Xueyan dragged his suitcase and went to queue at a ticket checkpoint ahead to enter the station. Since the VIP lane was nearly empty, it took less than a minute for Shang Xueyan’s turn to scan his ticket and enter.

He pulled up the QR code on his phone and glanced back. Shang Xianwang was still standing not far away. Shang Xueyan waved vigorously at him.

Shang Xianwang stood amidst the flowing crowd, hands tucked into his camel-colored trench coat, his expression showing no obvious fluctuation. But Shang Xueyan was certain that when he waved, his Big Bro’s eyes curved slightly, a barely noticeable curve.

"Handsome, it’s your turn to scan." Seeing that Shang Xueyan hadn’t moved, the girl behind him tapped his back with her fingertip to remind him.

"Sorry." Shang Xueyan scanned his phone at the ticket gate, dragged his suitcase through, and then placed it on the security conveyor belt. After passing security, he headed toward his boarding gate.

His phone, held tightly in his hand, suddenly rang.

Shang Xueyan picked up the phone.

He paused for a moment, then answered the call, puzzled, "Big Bro? You…"

"A Yan, wait for me."

Suddenly, a premonition surged into his heart. Shang Xueyan gripped his phone and looked back toward the passage he’d come through. Before long, a familiar figure appeared in his sight.

In that bustling surge of the crowd, everyone else faded into a blur, leaving only Shang Xianwang in his camel coat as the one clear, sharp focus.

Screw "just five days apart"—is five days really such a short time? Over a hundred and twenty hours, thousands of babies will be born, countless joys and sorrows will unfold.

Five days is a super long time.

Even if it wasn’t before, from this moment on, Shang Xueyan declares that five days is an awfully long time—so long that even before parting, his mind is already aching with missing you.

Amid the swaying crowd, Shang Xianwang strode toward him, while Shang Xueyan, pulling his suitcase, quickened his pace toward him.

Arms spread wide, Shang Xianwang pulled Shang Xueyan into a tight hug—a firm, strong embrace, their chests colliding through their coats, his lips grazing his hairline. "A Yan."

"How did you get in?" Shang Xueyan wrapped his arms tightly around Shang Xianwang’s back. "Don’t you need a ticket to enter?"

"I just bought a random ticket outside," Shang Xianwang replied softly.

"Oh." Shang Xueyan held him tighter and mumbled back.

This was the station entrance, where most goodbyes happen outside or at the exits. The sight of two guys embracing tightly drew some attention, with a few curious glances cast their way.

Shang Xueyan gently nudged Shang Xianwang’s chest with his elbow, and Shang Xianwang understood, releasing him. The rustle of their coats rose faintly, lingering briefly in their ears before fading completely as they drew apart.

But their gazes remained locked, like lemon drops dissolving in tea—sweet and tart all at once.

Shang Xianwang took hold of Shang Xueyan’s suitcase with one hand and grasped his wrist with the other. The station had no dim, secluded corners, so he led him to a nearly empty convenience store, pulling him between the back shelves.

His eyes scanned overhead, confirming it was a blind spot out of the camera’s view. Shang Xianwang’s gaze swept downward, traveling over his sharp eyebrows, bright eyes, straight nose, and flushed lips.

"A Yan, you said I could be more confident. Does that still hold now?" Shang Xianwang asked softly, his eyes fixed on Shang Xueyan’s.

Eyelashes fluttering slightly, Shang Xueyan looked at Shang Xianwang, who still looked unsure. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes tinged with red. He avoided Shang Xianwang’s gaze for a moment before slowly, clearly answering again: "Big brother, I'm crazier about you than you know."

Shang Xianwang shielded Shang Xueyan with his body, his warm lips grazing his forehead.

Shang Xueyan’s lashes trembled lightly. Then, Shang Xianwang moved his encircling arms aside, and their eyes met again. Without a word, Shang Xueyan suddenly understood what Shang Xianwang intended to do.

The trench coat draped over their heads, plunging the bright surroundings into sudden darkness. Shang Xianwang’s breathing grew increasingly distinct.

In the camera’s blind spot, sparse with people, before towering shelves packed with goods, Shang Xueyan’s head was covered by the coat, his hands clutching tightly at the hem of Shang Xianwang’s clothes as they shared a desperate, hungry kiss.

Lips pressed against lips, noses bumped gently. With their similar heights, one needed only to tilt his head down slightly, the other to lift his just a little—the angle was perfect, requiring no effort to stand on tiptoes or bend too low. Every ounce of focus went into the kissing.

At first, the movements were somewhat urgent, but soon Shang Xianwang’s pace slowed. His palm pressed against Shang Xueyan’s back, his tongue softly tracing the seam of his lips, slowly parting them. He didn’t rush in; instead, their lips lingered, touched, sucked, and tasted.

Finally, he lightly grazed the tip of his tongue before reluctantly pulling away.

Shang Xueyan leaned against the shelf, lips slightly parted, eyes dazed, gulping air.

Shang Xianwang removed the coat covering their heads. Footsteps seemed to approach in the distance, so he pulled Shang Xueyan’s arm, switching positions. Cupping the back of his neck, he pressed Shang Xueyan’s face firmly into the crook of his own neck, shielding him completely from any outside view.

When the customer’s footsteps faded, Shang Xianwang’s hand slowly rose, his dry palm cradling Shang Xueyan’s face. Gazing into his slightly evasive eyes, he brushed his lips against his eyelid and said hoarsely, "A Yan, I don't wanna let you go."

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Author's Note: Goodnight, mwah.