Chapter 52

Chapter 52

"Not at all, they nearly killed me." Shang Xueyan was breathing heavily, his cheeks flushed from both the heat and the healthy glow of exercise. Though he said this, his eyes sparkled, showing no sign of displeasure.

As soon as the half-hour was up, Shang Xueyan couldn't wait to leave the room. After showering and changing, they went upstairs and spent the afternoon playing bowling and billiards.

In the evening, they had an outdoor barbecue. At first, they declined the waiter's help, resulting in dry and charred skewers. Eventually, they accepted the waiter's assistance.

After eating their fill, Shang Xueyan and the others decided to go to the club's VR arcade.

Feng Yixi quickly rose from his chair, "I've digested my meal, let's head to the game room."

"Let's go." Shen Mengkun gestured forward with his arm.

Shang Xueyan was eager.

"A Yan." Just as he got up from the canvas lounge chair, Shang Xianwang called out to him. Under the dim yellow streetlights on the lawn, his features were shadowed, making his expression hard to read. "You guys go have fun, I won't be joining."

"Why not? Don’t you want to play that? We can play something else."

Shang Xianwang touched the back of his hand against Shang Xueyan's cheek, "I’m a little tired and want to go back to my room to rest."

"Go ahead and play, have a good time." Shang Xianwang smiled at him.

Shang Xueyan studied his older brother's face. His brother must have been quite busy last week—he was on a business trip out of town on Tuesday and Wednesday, then rushed overnight to Fucheng to see him on Wednesday. It was said he worked until midnight on Thursday, and today he had spent the whole day with him.

Shang Xueyan said, "Then rest well."

Since Shang Xianwang wasn’t joining the evening activities, the three of them went to the VR game room. The club's VR experience was highly immersive, and the game was an adventure type that Shang Xueyan would normally really enjoy.

But after half an hour, he remained distracted.

Removing the VR headset, Shang Xueyan said, "You two keep playing, I’m going to check on my brother."

Feng Yixi and Shen Mengkun were fully immersed and having a great time, casually murmuring in agreement.

Leaving the VR experience room, Shang Xueyan walked down two long corridors and arrived at Shang Xianwang's room door, where he pressed the doorbell.

The door opened, and Shang Xianwang seemed slightly surprised to see Shang Xueyan. "A Yan, why are you back so early?"

"Brother, are you unhappy?" Shang Xueyan asked directly.

Shang Xianwang paused, then smiled, "Why would I be? A Yan, you're overthinking it."

The corridor was brightly lit; even the dust particles floating in the air were clearly visible. Shang Xianwang stood in the doorway, wearing a soft light gray sweater, his lips curved slightly, and a gentle, soft smile in his eyes.

He didn’t seem unhappy at all.

Shang Xueyan said firmly, "Why are you unhappy? Is it because I invited Shen Mengkun and Feng Yixi today?"

"I’m not unhap—"

"You’re lying to me." Shang Xueyan cut him off.

The doorway wasn’t a good place to talk, and people passing in the corridor were casting curious glances. Shang Xueyan gestured for Shang Xianwang to let him in.

After walking in confidently, Shang Xueyan closed the door, his brows slightly furrowed as he looked at him and said, "It’s because of me, isn’t it?"

Shang Xianwang sighed silently, his lips parted several times before he whispered, "It’s not because of you, it’s my own issue."

Shang Xueyan stared at him in confusion. Shang Xianwang remained silent, so Shang Xueyan kept staring, making it clear he expected an explanation.

"A Yan, I want more and more. Give me some time, I’ll adjust my emotions." After a moment, Shang Xianwang said softly.

Frowning, Shang Xueyan said, "Wanting more and more—what do you want? Brother, so it is related to me. You’re unhappy because of me."

"Ah—"

"Brother, I don’t like this." Shang Xueyan searched for the right words. "I know you’re more mature than me, more patient with me than I imagined, and you can handle negative emotions on your own. But I don’t think that’s good. You can handle this unhappiness now, but can you handle every future unhappiness by yourself?"

"The collapse of a relationship never happens overnight; it accumulates gradually. It starts small but eventually grows—"

"A Yan." Shang Xianwang cut him off, placing his hands on his shoulders and shaking his head. "It won’t happen."

"Then why are you unhappy? Tell me." Shang Xueyan looked into his eyes.

Shang Xianwang’s lips moved, but he made no sound.

"Brother, I really don’t know what’s making you unhappy. If you don’t tell me, I might make the same mistake again." Shang Xueyan spoke as he thought. "And make you unhappy again. If you tell me, if it’s my fault, I can fix it. If it’s your issue, I’ll just..."

His gaze shifted, and he clenched his fist, speaking with honesty and passion, "Kiss you and comfort you."

"A Yan..."

"I’ve grown up. We should understand and tolerate each other, not just you tolerating me and reflecting on yourself alone, brother..." His gaze drifted away from Shang Xianwang but soon returned, his eyes bright as if filled with scattered starlight, dispelling all gloom. "Most importantly, I don’t want you to be unhappy."

"Even just a little."

He looked both shy and direct, carrying a startling intensity—a sincerity unique to youth.

Shang Xianwang’s Adam's apple bobbed. He couldn’t help but reach out and pull Shang Xueyan into an embrace, burying his face in his shoulder and taking a deep breath of his scent, calling out, "A Yan."

Shang Xueyan spread his arms, reaching around his shoulders, and hugged him tightly.

They pulled apart slightly.

Shang Xueyan’s eyes darted away. "Can you tell me now?"

"A Yan, it was supposed to be a date for just the two of us," Shang Xianwang said softly.

So it was about that. Shang Xueyan was about to promise it wouldn’t happen again when Shang Xianwang continued, "In the sauna room, letting them press down on you—there was a lot of physical contact. During filming, the actress was too intimate with you. At the variety show, when you fell, the host almost kissed your ear."

Shang Xueyan’s eyes widened slowly, staring at Shang Xianwang in disbelief.

Shang Xianwang covered his eyes with his palm, his voice hoarse as it came from close to his nose. "A Yan, I’m very narrow-minded. That’s why I said it’s my problem."

"The variety show you mentioned is the one I recorded after the New Year, the one you secretly watched." Shang Xueyan searched his memory, surprised that something from so long ago could still be brought up.

"Sorry," Shang Xianwang said.

Shang Xueyan felt somewhat uncomfortable. "No need to apologize."

He coughed. "I won’t invite anyone else on our dates from now on."

He leaned closer to Shang Xianwang, tilting his face slightly to avoid their noses touching, and kissed his lips. "Today in the sauna room, it was just normal physical contact between guys. But if it bothers you, I’ll be more careful in the future."

He leaned in again, pressing his lips to Shang Xianwang’s and giving a soft suck. "I won’t take on roles with intimate scenes, though that scene wasn’t even that intense. If it bothers you—"

He cupped Shang Xianwang’s face, pecked his lips, and said, "Don’t worry about it now."

"It was an accident that the host almost kissed me during the variety show." He kissed him again, with a mix of recklessness and shyness.

Shang Xueyan leaned back slightly, putting a little distance between them, his eyelashes fluttering gently as he said seriously, "Big brother, you're different from everyone else in my heart."

Clearing his throat, his ears flushed red as he spoke quickly, "If you feel jealous in the future, just say it, and I'll indulge you."

A complicated emotion welled up inside him. Even though these past days had felt like the happiest time, even to the point where it seemed impossible to be happier, at this very moment, his heart was filled with an unprecedented, intense sweetness. Shang Xianwang's thick eyelashes lowered, his gaze deepening to an extreme.

"A Yan, do you feel like you're accommodating me?" At the same time, there was a sense of reluctance and guilt. The fact that Shang Xueyan was willing to be in a relationship with him was already an enormous stroke of luck for Shang Xianwang. He couldn't bear to let Shang Xueyan feel even the slightest bit wronged, especially because of him.

Shang Xianwang wished for him to live a healthy, safe life where everything goes smoothly. Although achieving a life where everything goes smoothly was difficult, Shang Xianwang didn’t want to be even a minor source of his occasional dissatisfaction.

"It's not accommodation," Shang Xueyan said with a serious attitude. "It's just that if there are things you care about that I don’t mind, then I’ll adjust. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable or bring any negative feelings."

Shang Xianwang's jealousy might indeed be petty, but Shang Xueyan didn’t feel the slightest discomfort. Instead, he felt an unprecedented excitement.

Since childhood, his big brother had always been the mature, steady, and patient one, while he was the one easily prone to jealousy, disliking it when others drew too much of Shang Xianwang's attention. As he grew older, he came to understand that forbidding his big brother from being close to anyone else was unreasonable.

Shang Xueyan would never act domineering or unreasonable.

But at this moment, Shang Xueyan suddenly realized that his big brother's possessiveness was even stronger than his own when he was young—it was just that he was good at hiding it. At the very least, if his big brother accidentally fell and almost had his ear kissed by a host, he wouldn’t feel jealous.

An intense excitement surged in his heart—the contrast was too powerful.

Shang Xianwang had always been smarter, more mature, and more rational than his peers since childhood, instinctively knowing what to do. This was entirely different from Shang Xueyan's principle of following his heart and prioritizing happiness.

He knew his jealousy was unreasonable and shouldn’t exist, yet he couldn’t control his emotions and couldn’t help being petty.

What did that mean?

He was a rational and calm person, but Shang Xueyan was the existence that forever overturned his rationality and calmness.

Shang Xueyan looked at Shang Xianwang's face, so close to his.

The contour of his brow bone was exceptionally well-defined, high but not sharp. Below his brow bone, his eye sockets were slightly sunken, housing deep, distant eyes. At this moment, his eyelashes were lowered, and his gaze was soft and tender, like cotton threads soaked in warm water, wrapping around him strand by strand—impossible to break free from, and he didn’t want to. His bones seemed to grow weak under such a gaze.

"A Yan, thank you." Shang Xianwang slowly wrapped his arms around Shang Xueyan's waist, pulling him into an embrace. His lips brushed against Shang Xueyan's ear as he suppressed the surging emotions inside and whispered.

He was accustomed to rationality and calmness. His life was always filled with restraint, even in love—repeatedly weighing and carefully considering, afraid of offending the other or making them feel even the slightest discomfort, treading carefully as if on thin ice. But when it came to love, whether it was his love for his brother as a child or his love for his lover now, Shang Xueyan had always been naturally gifted.

Loving someone means accepting both the good and the not-so-good. I can embrace the good, and I can comfort you even when you’re not rational.

You just need to be a little more confident with me and... I'll indulge you.

"No need to thank me." Shang Xueyan coughed dryly, his arm reaching around Shang Xianwang's shoulder, patting his back awkwardly twice.

It was a gentle and incredibly precious embrace.

Shang Xianwang released Shang Xueyan, his arms falling to his sides. He took a small step back, lowered his head, and kissed his lips. "A Yan, I adore you."

His heart suddenly beat out of control, each thump tightening his chest and numbing his fingers. His gaze shifted away as he said, "I know."

Then he added gruffly, "Alright, go take a shower first. I’ll come find you later."

"Hmm?" Shang Xianwang took Shang Xueyan's hand, kissing from the back of his hand to his fingers.

"For hot springs. I’ll make up for the couple’s hot springs I owe you." Shang Xueyan abruptly withdrew his nearly numb hand. Why did kissing his hand feel so good too? He swallowed hard and said stiffly, "I’ll go back first."

Half an hour later, after cooling down, Shang Xueyan put on a short-sleeved T-shirt, shorts, and a bathrobe, then went to Shang Xianwang's room.

The hot spring in the suite was behind a sliding door. Pushing open the wooden door, Shang Xueyan saw the circular hot spring pool, standing alone and steaming in the room.

Shang Xueyan untied the belt around his waist, hung the bathrobe aside, and glanced down at his black T-shirt. Gritting his teeth, he simply decided to take off the T-shirt. While Shang Xianwang was still behind him, he quickly stepped into the hot spring pool, submerging his entire body in the hot water.

Though the transparent, clear hot spring water was obscured by steam, the floating mist couldn’t hide too much.

After Shang Xianwang took off his bathrobe, he entered the water.

He didn’t get too close to Shang Xueyan, staying on the opposite side.

Shang Xueyan felt a little less nervous. There really wasn’t much to be nervous about—if he wasn’t willing, his big brother wouldn’t force anything. But emotions weren’t something one could completely control.

Shang Xueyan took a deep breath and simply turned his back to Shang Xianwang, leaning against the edge of the pool and playing with his phone, which was wrapped in a waterproof case.

Time passed neither quickly nor slowly—in the blink of an eye, half an hour had gone by. Shang Xueyan pushed himself up onto the edge of the pool with his hands, his back still to Shang Xianwang. He picked up a towel to dry his wet body and quickly wrapped himself in his bathrobe. "Big brother, you should come out too. It’s not good to soak for too long."

Shang Xianwang got out of the hot spring pool. As Shang Xueyan turned around, he accidentally glimpsed a certain part of Shang Xianwang and blanked out for a moment. "Big brother, you…"

Shang Xianwang put on his bathrobe. "Don’t worry about it."

Was his big brother’s body this easily excited?

"Big brother, should I help you?" Shang Xueyan didn’t know what kind of mood he was in when he said this—maybe he’d lost his mind—but he felt no regret, only that his eyelashes were trembling faster and faster.

Shang Xianwang was stunned and suddenly looked at him.

"With my hand!" Shang Xueyan hurriedly added.

"A Yan, are you sure?" Shang Xianwang’s expression seemed perfectly calm.

Shang Xueyan took a deep breath and walked toward him regardless. Getting too close, the heat from Shang Xianwang’s body washed over him, and Shang Xueyan’s legs went weak.

He swallowed nervously several times and tremblingly reached out his hand to Shang Xianwang.

Shang Xianwang lowered his head and gently, encouragingly kissed his lips.

Shang Xueyan took a deep breath, mustering his courage. Before his fingers could touch, he felt a warm palm reach into his bathrobe. Shang Xueyan froze completely, like a startled rabbit freezing up, not knowing how to react.

Shang Xianwang closed his eyes for a moment and took a step back, his voice hoarse. "A Yan, you’re not ready yet."

"I…" Shang Xueyan’s face burned red.

Shang Xianwang said hoarsely, "See? Just a touch from me, and you’re this startled. Are you really prepared?"

"No rush." Shang Xianwang lowered his head, gently brushing his lips against Shang Xueyan’s, their foreheads touching and noses nudging. Softly, he said, "I’ve said I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do. And if you feel forced, I wouldn’t be happy either."

"Let’s take it slow, okay?"

His tone was gentle and hypnotically persuasive. Shang Xueyan almost instinctively wanted to say "okay," but the words caught in his throat. He swallowed them back and hurriedly changed his response: "You really want it, don’t you?"

"Sweetheart, what do you think?" Shang Xianwang was suddenly amused and frustrated. He rubbed Shang Xueyan’s lips firmly.

"Then let’s do it today. With my hand." His Adam’s apple bobbed nervously, and his entire body was steaming, as if he’d just stepped out of the sauna that afternoon.

Seeing Shang Xianwang’s lips part slightly, Shang Xueyan raised his hand to cover his mouth.

"Don’t say anything yet. Listen to me." His words came quickly, his breath carrying a surge of scorching heat. "I don’t think doing things requires perfect preparation. Nothing can be completely foolproof. What’s more important is the desire and mood to do it in the moment."

"You can say I’m impulsive and reckless, but if I want to eat an egg tart today and you bring it to me tomorrow, it’s not the same as the craving I had yesterday."

Heat spread through his limbs, making his arms tingle slightly. He said earnestly, "I'm truly not prepared, but I have the desire to do it now."

"Alright, you can say... never mind, don't say anything." Shang Xueyan said in a fluster, then lifted his head and kissed Shang Xianwang's lips.

He instinctively bit his lip, forgetting he had Shang Xianwang's lip between his teeth. Hearing a soft muffled groan, he quickly retracted his teeth and gently sucked on his lips, while his other hand slipped inside his shirt.

"A Yan." Shang Xianwang leaned back slightly, finally able to speak. He kissed Shang Xueyan's lips roughly, the desire in his eyes so intense it was palpable. "Let's go to the room."

Yes, they really should go back to the room.

Standing didn't seem very convenient.

As they kissed, they retreated into the room. By the soft, large bed, Shang Xueyan fell onto the edge first, followed by Shang Xianwang pressing down on him. They kissed, their hands wandering unconsciously.

Suddenly, he felt Shang Xianwang's body tense up. Shang Xueyan opened his eyes and caught sight of Shang Xianwang's furrowed brows. He immediately let go, his eyes glistening as he asked, "Did I hurt you?"

Shang Xueyan didn't have much experience in this area. In his previous life, with his elder brother as an example of self-restraint, he rarely indulged. After crossing a thousand years, he spent the first few months busy with work and wasn't in the mood for it. After reuniting with his elder brother, he had some leisure and experimented a few times. But since last October, when he realized his elder brother might have feelings for him beyond brotherly love, he hadn't felt like it since.

"A Yan, let go." Shang Xianwang took a deep breath, his voice hoarse.

Shang Xueyan had lost the courage he had moments earlier. As soon as Shang Xianwang spoke, it was as if he'd been let off the hook. He hastily released him.

Shang Xianwang lowered his head, lifting Shang Xueyan's chin with one hand as he kissed him fiercely and roughly. His other hand moved downward.

His arm occasionally brushed against Shang Xueyan's abdomen. Shang Xueyan could feel what his elder brother was doing. His eyelids fluttered violently, and he didn't have the courage to open his eyes.

Suddenly, his elder brother's lips moved away from his, and his body pulled away. Shang Xueyan was stunned and opened his eyes.

He saw a gaze full of desire, with intense longing. The other's handsome, usually cold face was flushed red, sweat dripping from his temples onto his chest, his breathing growing heavier with each passing moment.

Shang Xueyan quickly closed his eyes again.

He vividly imagined his elder brother's current actions—his elder brother was watching him...

Ah!

Heat flared in his chest, accompanied by an intense itch. He couldn't help but squeeze his thighs together.

A deeper, heavier gasp escaped, making his eardrums tingle, sending a tingling heat that instantly spread throughout his body.

Damn it. Shang Xueyan kept his eyes closed, fumbling for the covers on the bed.

Shang Xianwang pulled out a tissue, wiped his hand dry, and turned his gaze to the young man on the bed. In a hoarse voice, he said, "A Yan, you..."

Although Shang Xueyan's help for Shang Xianwang was left unfinished, he still gave a lot. In contrast, Shang Xianwang helped Shang Xueyan from start to finish, making sure he felt comfortable throughout.

Shang Xianwang pulled out a tissue, wiped his hand dry, and turned his gaze to the young man on the bed. In a hoarse voice, he said, "A Yan, you..."

Although Shang Xueyan's help for Shang Xianwang was left unfinished, he still gave a lot. In contrast, Shang Xianwang helped Shang Xueyan from start to finish, making sure he felt comfortable throughout.

Author's note: Good night, dear readers. Happy Mid-Autumn Festival! See you tomorrow!!