Chapter 50

Chapter 50

“I’ll be back on Friday.” A pang of reluctance, yet a thrill of anticipation. Reluctance at another imminent parting, anticipation for their reunion in just five days.

Longing was a bittersweet ache, but anticipation was a beautiful emotion—like skies clearing after rain, making his heart ripple with excitement.

Shang Xueyan suddenly felt a little poetic. Was this what love felt like? Not only an extraordinary attachment and reluctance, but also an intense joy and expectation.

Yet, he understood it wasn't solely due to love. It was because this person was Shang Xianwang. Across past and present lives, even before love bloomed, Shang Xueyan had been willing to give everything, even his life, for him. That was why such unprecedented emotions surged within him.

“Good morning, dear passengers. Train 0986 from Jing City to Fu Cheng is now boarding…” The somewhat muffled station announcement reached Shang Xueyan’s ears. He caught “0986” and “boarding.” His eyelashes lifted, his face flushed as he said, “I need to go board now.”

“Alright.” Shang Xianwang gently pressed a finger to Shang Xueyan’s cheek, bent to pick up the fallen coat, draped it over his arm, and let his other hand slide down Shang Xueyan’s arm to his elbow, grasping his wrist. “Let’s go, A Yan.”

They arrived near the boarding gate.

“Bro Yan, I was about to call you. Boarding’s already started.” Fei Yu, holding his phone and exiting the dial screen, hurried over. “President Shang, you’re here too.”

Shang Xianwang released Shang Xueyan’s wrist, acknowledged with a brief hum, and reminded Shang Xueyan, “Text me when you arrive.”

“Only when I arrive?” Shang Xueyan feigned surprise. “I was planning to bother you when I’m bored on the train.”

Shang Xianwang’s hand twitched slightly, but with Fei Yu standing noticeably nearby, he could only smile at Shang Xueyan. “I’ll check my phone often.”

“Bro Yan, it’s time to go.” Fei Yu’s eyes shifted between Shang Xueyan and Shang Xianwang, sensing something amiss, though the two had always been close.

“Bye, Big Brother.” Shang Xueyan waved at Shang Xianwang, then turned decisively and headed toward the boarding gate.

After passing through the ticket gate and taking the escalator, he found his seat on the train and immediately pulled out his phone to text Shang Xianwang.

Shang Xueyan: [On the train]

Shang Xianwang: [I’ve boarded too, heading to the company]

He arrived in Fu Cheng at noon. After dropping his luggage at the hotel, Shang Xueyan followed the production manager to the filming location. Once hair and makeup were done, shooting officially began in the afternoon.

Director Hua was filming a period drama this time, telling the story of four roommates who meet, bond, and experience the twists and turns of life ten years after graduation. All four women are main characters.

During university, one of the female leads, Su Rong, falls for a handsome basketball player. Despite her roommates' objections, she goes after him relentlessly. They date for less than two months before she discovers that Chen Zhi is a scumbag—flirtatious, disrespectful toward women, critical of her friends, and utterly irresponsible. A classic case of “all that glitters is not gold.”

Shang Xueyan had never played a bad boy before and was excited to try.

When Zhu Zhenhong read the script, he felt the role suited Shang Xueyan perfectly. Chen Zhi is extremely handsome, the campus heartthrob—dashing with sharp eyebrows and bright eyes, charming and witty, with a youthful intensity that completely masks his rotten nature. Plus, Shang Xueyan is skilled at basketball, making it easy to capture the desired visuals.

Lastly, Shang Xueyan’s acting is solid; he should be able to portray the character’s flaws convincingly.

Zhu Zhenhong admires Shang Xueyan greatly. He possesses raw, natural talent—even without having lived through similar experiences or deep emotional familiarity, he can deliver exactly the right feeling.

Moreover, he doesn’t internalize his roles, getting into and out of character quickly.

The first scene filmed was Chen Zhi and Su Rong’s breakup. The actress playing Su Rong is Jiang Chun'an, a recent university graduate and an up-and-coming actress promoted by her company, already building a reputation.

After introducing themselves, they shook hands. Jiang Chun'an turned to Director Zhu and said, “Director, he’s too handsome! Even if he’s a scumbag, I wouldn’t want to break up with him. Looking at his face, I feel like I could forgive anything.”

Many crew members were from the *Shunyang Street Daily* team and were quite familiar with Shang Xueyan. The cinematographer joked, “He really is handsome. My daughter visited the set once and almost wanted to go home with Teacher Shang.” His daughter is only six.

After introductions, they set up the lighting, ran through the scene, and began filming.

Shang Xueyan had only about ten scenes, shot over four days—not a heavy workload. He had plenty of leisure time to message Shang Xianwang, though Shang Xianwang was busy these past couple of days, slow to reply to messages. Only in the evenings could they have long video calls.

Time flew by, and it was Thursday.

They had a night shoot scheduled that evening.

The scene depicted Su Rong and Chen Zhi shortly after getting together, walking back to campus after watching a movie. They argue over differing opinions about a film character, and Su Rong makes the first move to reconcile.

Shang Xueyan and Jiang Chun'an rehearsed. Director Zhu gave them direction, then had the camera crew adjust equipment for filming.

Since the scene was set in winter, Shang Xueyan had to put on a winter coat before filming started. As the costume team brought his jacket, he was halfway into putting it on when his gaze suddenly fixed on something.

He rubbed his eyes, then again, and hurried toward a man standing not far away, exclaiming joyfully, “Big Brother, how did you get here? When did you arrive?”

“Fei Yu just brought me in, less than a minute ago.” Shang Xianwang felt the fabric of the white padded jacket Shang Xueyan was wearing and asked softly, “Aren’t you hot?”

Shang Xueyan is quite sensitive to heat.

“It’s okay. Fu Cheng hasn’t been very hot these days.”

“Shang Xueyan, where are you? We’re starting!” Zhu Zhenhong called out.

“Director, President Shang is here, right behind you,” a crew member reminded.

After the initial investor, President Wang from *Shunyang Street Daily*, withdrew funding, Shang Xianwang covered the deficit.

Moreover, Shang Xianwang was Zhu Zhenhong’s favorite kind of investor—rare these days—not interfering with casting, scripts, or directing, even requesting better meals and treatment for the crew.

Zhu Zhenhong had an excellent impression of him.

“President Shang, long time no see! Here to visit your brother on set again?” Zhu Zhenhong greeted warmly.

Standing nearby, Shang Xueyan heard the word “brother,” stuffed his hands into his pockets, his gaze flickering, too embarrassed to meet Shang Xianwang’s eyes.

“Yes, here to visit A Yan.” Shang Xianwang looked at Shang Xueyan’s ears turning red, a faint smile in his voice.

After making small talk, Zhu Zhenhong returned to the monitor, and Shang Xueyan began filming.

It was very late. The two walked quietly on the asphalt road. Su Rong had to intimately link arms with Chen Zhi as they strolled slowly.

From the moment he saw Shang Xianwang, Shang Xueyan’s heart raced. As they moved from the crowd to under a gardenia tree on Fu Cheng University’s campus, his heartbeat gradually steadied.

Before filming, Jiang Chun'an had to link arms with Shang Xueyan as they walked intimately toward the girls' dorm.

Following the rehearsal, Jiang Chun'an looped her arm through Shang Xueyan’s. He stiffened immediately, glancing toward the crowd not far away.

Shang Xianwang stood behind the crew, tall and standing out, though his expression was unclear from a distance.

“Teacher Shang, what’s wrong?” Jiang Chun'an asked.

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” It was just linking arms—not an intimate gesture—and this was his job. Big Brother was rational and mature; how could he possibly be jealous over something like this?

The clapperboard snapped, and the scene officially began. At first, the conversation between Chen Zhi and Su Rong was still sweet.

“Cut! Shang Xueyan, what are you looking over here for?” Director Zhu called for a retake.

A minute later.

Director Zhu said, “You’re distracted, Shang Xueyan.”

Shang Xueyan apologized.

After another take, Shang Xueyan finally managed to immerse himself in the role and completed the scene.

Director Zhu remarked, “You gave too much emotion during the argument later on, and why were you standing so far away from Su Rong?”

“Eight zhang away” (a Chinese unit of length) was the director's exaggerated way of saying it—he was only two steps away from her, which was twice the distance compared to the rehearsal.

Shang Xueyan rarely had an NG (no good) take, and Zhu Zhenhong remained patient and never got angry with him. After this NG, he even joked, “What are you so nervous about with your Big Brother visiting the set? Shang Xueyan, he's not your girlfriend, and besides, this isn't a passionate scene. Get it together and let's do it again.”

Shang Xueyan: “…”

After another take, Shang Xueyan finally got into the right state of mind. Once the scene was finished, everyone could wrap up for the day. The props team slowly packed up their things, while the actors and directors could leave first.

On the bus, Shang Xueyan originally wanted to sit next to his Big Brother, but the director beat him to it and took the seat beside Shang Xianwang. Shang Xueyan had no choice but to sit on the other side of the aisle, listening to the director making small talk with his Big Brother.

He pulled out his phone, stony-faced.

Midway, the bus stopped in front of a barbecue joint. It was almost 11 p.m. Seeing Shang Xianwang appear, Shang Xueyan temporarily forgot his hunger, but as the aroma of barbecue filled the air, he genuinely began to feel hungry.

Everyone got off the bus for a late-night snack.

This time, Shang Xueyan sat next to Shang Xianwang. He eagerly dug in as soon as the barbecue was served. Shang Xianwang wasn't hungry and had no interest in barbecue, so he only ordered a bowl of sweet osmanthus and glutinous rice ball soup (tangyuan), slowly savoring it.

Everyone had work the next day, and since they were all in their prime, there was no pressure to drink or chat. Most of the crew simply kept their heads down and enjoyed their food.

After the late-night snack, everyone got back on the bus. Soon after, they arrived at the crew's hotel.

Shang Xianwang went to the front desk to check into a room before heading upstairs with Shang Xueyan. By the time he finished checking in, most of the crew had already dispersed, leaving only the two of them to enter the elevator.

When it was crowded earlier, Shang Xueyan wished everyone would vanish instantly, leaving only him and Shang Xianwang alone in the world. Now that it was finally just the two of them, he glanced at Shang Xianwang, met his deep, dark gaze, and felt his eyelashes flutter slightly, his palms growing warm.

With a soft ding, the elevator stopped on the 18th floor.

Shang Xianwang, holding his suitcase with one hand, gently guided Shang Xueyan by the arm with the other and led him out of the elevator.

“A Yan, which room is yours?” Shang Xianwang asked in a low, husky voice.

Seeing the deep, intense gaze in Shang Xianwang's eyes, Shang Xueyan's fingers trembled slightly. He took a deep breath, fished his room key from his pocket, and said, “09.”

Shang Xianwang led him to room 09, took the key from his hand, and opened the door. He gently pushed him forward by the small of his back. Shang Xueyan swallowed dryly and stepped into the room first.

Shang Xianwang followed him in, and with a soft click, closed the door behind them.

Shang Xueyan turned around.

After sixty-one hours apart, he was once again alone with the person he loved in a private room. Desire no longer needed restraint. Shang Xianwang lowered his head slightly.

Suddenly, the back of a hand pressed against Shang Xueyan's lips, blocking the kiss Shang Xianwang had been longing for.

The bright overhead light shone down on Shang Xianwang, illuminating half his face while his lips and eyes remained in shadow, making it impossible to see the depth in his gaze or the tension in the curve of his mouth.

“Can I not kiss you?” Shang Xianwang asked, his tone deceptively calm.

Shang Xueyan took two steps back, covering his mouth. “I just had barbecue. Let me brush my teeth first.”

After hurriedly saying this, he tried to head to the bathroom to brush his teeth. But as soon as he took a step, a hand pressed down on his shoulder. Then, Shang Xianwang grabbed his arm, pulled him close, and lowered his head.

Just as their lips were about to meet, his action suddenly paused.

The strong scent of barbecue intertwined with the subtle fragrance of osmanthus.

Shang Xueyan tilted his face up slightly, his nose brushing against Shang Xianwang's tall nose bridge. His eyes darted around awkwardly as he said, “See? It tastes like barbecue. You can't even bring yourself to kiss me.”

He struggled slightly, trying to break free and go brush his teeth.

Shang Xianwang let out a soft laugh. He moved his hand to the small of Shang Xueyan's back and said gently, “That's not why.”

Their lips met, soft as two clouds gently touching. Then, Shang Xianwang pressed against Shang Xueyan's lower back, pulling him closer. The sweet taste of osmanthus and glutinous rice balls still lingered on Shang Xianwang's tongue as he slowly traced Shang Xueyan's lips, patiently waiting for him to open his mouth.

Their tongues touched, and as his mouth was entered, a familiar dizziness washed over him. Fine currents of electricity seemed to spread from where they connected, a tingling sensation moving from his lips to the tips of his ears. His breath trembled, and his spine went numb.

After what felt like a long time, Shang Xianwang finally pulled away reluctantly.

Shang Xueyan coughed lightly, wiping his damp lips with the back of his hand. He looked up at Shang Xianwang, his gaze wet and evasive. “How was the barbecue-flavored kiss?”

“Didn't really notice,” Shang Xianwang replied, his lips glistening, chest rising and falling slightly, his voice low and husky with a seductive edge.

As he finished speaking, he leaned in again.

Shang Xueyan dodged like a startled rabbit, darting into the bathroom and shouting at Shang Xianwang, “Let me brush my teeth first!”

Shang Xianwang couldn't help but chuckle softly.

Three minutes later, Shang Xueyan had meticulously brushed his teeth. He pulled out a tissue, dried the corners of his mouth, and strode over to Shang Xianwang, who was waiting by the door.

“Reporting to Big Brother, I've finished brushing my teeth,” Shang Xueyan announced, clearing his throat as he stood before Shang Xianwang.

“Can I kiss you now?” Shang Xianwang asked, his tone seemingly unhurried, though his hand was already resting on Shang Xueyan's lower back.

“What do you think?”

After saying this, Shang Xueyan stared intently at Shang Xianwang.

Their eyes met, and in that instant, the air around them grew thick with intimacy. Shang Xueyan licked his lips, and then the soft sensation of a kiss met his mouth.

Shang Xianwang gazed into his eyes, kissing him gently yet insistently. Shang Xueyan instinctively wanted to look away, but with Shang Xianwang's hand on his lower back, he could only close his eyes, his eyelashes fluttering.

The sensation of their lips was vivid—pressing, sucking, nibbling, touching, lasting and persistent.

By the time the oxygen in his lungs grew thin, Shang Xueyan was finally released slightly. His eyes fluttered open as he put a little distance between them.

Once Shang Xueyan could breathe again, Shang Xianwang brushed his lips against his—not a passionate kiss, but an intimate, affectionate touch, full of closeness and tenderness.

After kissing for a while longer, Shang Xueyan finally remembered something important. His lips red and moist, he asked, “Big Brother, when are you going back? Are you leaving with me on Friday?”

“My ticket is for 6 a.m. tomorrow,” Shang Xianwang said, resting his forehead against Shang Xueyan's.

“Tomorrow morning?” Shang Xueyan pulled away from Shang Xianwang's embrace, taking half a step back. He frowned and said, “Are you really busy? If you are, you didn’t have to come. I’ll be back the day after tomorrow anyway.”

His voice grew softer toward the end, and his eyelashes fluttered rapidly.

Forget “you didn’t have to come”!

After wrapping up at 5 p.m. the previous day, he couldn’t resist checking train tickets back to Beijing. A three-hour high-speed rail ride, plus travel to and from the hotel, would take about four and a half hours.

If he took the 6 p.m. train back, he could reach Fengyun Bay by around 10 p.m. The earliest train back to Fucheng was at 6 a.m., which wouldn’t make it in time for the 8 a.m. shoot. There were no suitable flights either, but it didn’t matter—he could take a taxi back to Fucheng. If he left in the early hours, he could probably make it back before 8 a.m.

Just thinking about seeing Shang Xianwang in a few hours, Shang Xueyan eagerly bought the ticket. But as he was booking a car to the station, he received a notice from the director: there would be a character study session that evening.

He didn’t want to go.

He really didn't feel like going.

But in the end, he still went.

Had it really only been two days apart? Was it really necessary to miss Shang Xianwang this much? The nature of their work meant there would inevitably be separations in the future. Four days was such a short time—he had to learn to endure it.

Besides, he had endured months apart before. What was a mere hundred or so hours now?

But future separations were a matter for the future—to hell with endurance and getting used to it.

Shang Xueyan suddenly regretted not returning to Beijing last night. In their not particularly long lives, they had lost two precious hours together.

His heart swelled with intense sweetness, but also with a tinge of tenderness and ache.

Shang Xueyan wanted to see him but restrained himself.

Shang Xianwang couldn’t hold back—whether it was a few rushed minutes at the train station or these few hours now.

Shang Xueyan thought of the lifelike polymer clay doll, the “my love” murmured against his skin, the “I will never force you,” and suddenly felt an overwhelming surge of excitement. A fierce heat surged through him.

Shang Xueyan’s arms tightened abruptly, his chest pressing tightly against the other’s. Heartbeats transmitted through their clothes, he lifted his head, his eyes holding a clear image of Shang Xianwang: “Ge, I like you.”

It was an even tighter embrace. Shang Xianwang also tightened his hold on Shang Xueyan forcefully.

Shoulders pressed together, and with their similar heights, knees slotting between each other's, forming an intimately entangled posture.

In an almost breathless yet thrilling and blissful embrace, Shang Xianwang slowly loosened his arms.

Their eyes met again.

Lips met lips once more—still a very gentle kiss.

Lips meeting, Shang Xueyan tilted his head back slightly, lips parting, their tongues occasionally meeting. He lost himself in this tender, lingering kiss, his hands tightly clutching the fabric of Shang Xianwang’s clothes.

Until Shang Xueyan suddenly felt something. His whole body stiffened, his Adam's apple bobbed, not daring to look down, staring at Shang Xianwang, unable to believe it.

Shang Xianwang cupped the back of Shang Xueyan’s neck, lips closing over the other’s lower lip, biting down with firm but not painful pressure.

He pulled back slightly, his voice hoarse: “Don’t mind it.”

After speaking, his forehead gently brushed against Shang Xueyan’s, then his hand firmly gripped the back of Shang Xueyan’s head, kissing him with irresistible pressure.

This was a fierce kiss, completely different from the earlier tenderness, carrying a suppressed aggression, even though it was just a kiss.

Lips pressed down fiercely, grinding against Shang Xueyan’s mouth, urgently parting his lips, tongues tangling and sucking with desperate intensity, as if trying to devour every bit of air from the other’s mouth.

It was a kiss of unprecedented ferocity. Shang Xueyan couldn’t handle it at all, only able to clutch his sleeves, making muffled sounds in his throat.

Transparent saliva spilled from his swollen lips. Shang Xueyan’s mind seemed to have gone blank—all consciousness drained away, leaving only bursts of dazzling white light in his head.

After what felt like a long time, Shang Xianwang softened his movements, licking the saliva from the corner of Shang Xueyan’s mouth with his tongue, then putting some space between their lower bodies.

Shang Xueyan’s dazed gaze gradually cleared.

Shang Xianwang gently sucked on his lips, asking in a low voice, “A Yan, is this okay too?”

Shang Xueyan’s eyes darted away.

“Not okay?” Shang Xianwang lightly pecked his lips, his eyes disappointed.

“No,” Shang Xueyan refuted instinctively.

They were very close, eyelashes brushing. Shang Xueyan saw his intense, deep gaze, tinged with genuine joy and laughter.

Shang Xueyan leaned in, giving his mouth a fierce kiss, boldly saying, “You can kiss me however you want.”

As soon as he finished, Shang Xueyan tried to pull away, but the other’s arm tightly circled his waist, pulling him close again.

A few minutes later, Shang Xianwang finally released Shang Xueyan.

Shang Xueyan glanced downward briefly, then quickly looked up. “You... you...”

Shang Xianwang let go of him, took a step back, and said hoarsely, “I need to use the restroom.”

The hotel bathroom had poor soundproofing. The blinds were drawn, blocking the view, but the sound of running water could be heard. Shang Xueyan swallowed hard and sat on the edge of the bed.

A moment later, he abruptly stood up and moved to sit on a black leather chair nearby.

He fiddled with his phone distractedly.

After who knows how long, the sound of water in the bathroom stopped. Shang Xueyan’s heart leaped to his throat, and he switched apps faster.

With a soft “click,” the bathroom door opened, and moist air wafted out.

Shang Xueyan gripped his phone tightly, his gaze darting forward.

It was gone!

Shang Xianwang walked up to Shang Xueyan, cupped his face with hands smelling of soap, and kissed him on the lips.

Shang Xueyan instinctively glanced downward.

Good, nothing was standing at attention.

Noticing his distraction, Shang Xianwang kissed him a little more forcefully. Shang Xueyan grabbed the hem of his light gray shirt, tilted his head back, and parted his lips, letting the other’s tongue enter.

“It’s almost one, A Yan. You should get some sleep soon.” Pressing his thumb firmly against Shang Xueyan’s cheek, Shang Xianwang took two steps back, his voice raspy.

Shang Xueyan wiped his wet lips with the back of his hand and murmured in agreement.

Shang Xianwang’s gaze lingered on Shang Xueyan’s moist eyelashes, sweeping over his swollen lips. He took a deep breath and turned to leave.

A hand suddenly reached out, gripping his wrist. Skin touched skin, warmth spreading.

Shang Xianwang turned back.

Shang Xueyan withdrew his hand, averting his gaze. “Otherwise... otherwise, just stay here tonight.”

“It’s not like we’ve shared a bed before.”

Shang Xianwang smiled, his broad palm cupping Shang Xueyan’s cheek again.

Their eyes met. Shang Xueyan wanted to look away but forced himself to maintain eye contact. Shang Xianwang’s low, husky voice, mingled with quiet breaths, seeped into Shang Xueyan’s awareness.

“A Yan, I can’t share a bed with you right now.”

Shang Xianwang’s hand left his face. He took a deep breath and left the room.

He couldn't stay?

Why couldn't he?

Somehow, Shang Xueyan suddenly thought of his elder brother’s obvious hard-on.

No, no, no, he didn’t want to think of his elder brother as such a horndog.

His elder brother was a proper, reserved gentleman, disciplined and courteous, who had barely any sex drive.

After giving himself some nonsensical self-reassurance in his mind and taking a cold shower, Shang Xueyan’s body temperature dropped. He rolled over in bed, turned off the light, closed his eyes, and soon fell into a deep sleep.

At five in the morning, Shang Xianwang finished washing up, wheeled his suitcase, took out the room key, and opened the door.

He froze in the doorway.

The sky at five in the morning was gray and hazy. The orange hallway lights shone down, brightly illuminating the guy at the door. Shang Xueyan had his hands tucked into his light gray jacket, wearing the pajamas Shang Xianwang had picked out for him.

His hair was slightly messy, with strands sticking to his temples, and his eyelashes cast shadows under his eyes. Seeing him come out, he said brightly, “Elder brother.”

But stronger than his surprise was his concern. From one o’clock last night until now, he had only slept for four hours. Shang Xianwang said softly, “Didn’t we agree that you would sleep well this morning and not send me off?”

“Who said I came to send you off?” Shang Xueyan stuffed his hands deeper into his pockets, slightly raised his chin, and said defiantly, “I came to kiss you.”

After mustering the courage to say this, Shang Xueyan quickly pulled his hands out of his pockets, pushed Shang Xianwang back a step, stepped into the entryway, grabbed his collar, pulled him down, and pressed his lips recklessly against Shang Xianwang's.

Yes, just like this.

He was a man too—why should he always be the shy one, rendered utterly helpless by Shang Xianwang, like a female animal in heat, offering himself up to be ravaged?

That metaphor wasn’t right—his elder brother’s mouth didn’t have barbs, and he never felt any discomfort. On the contrary, it felt so good his soul seemed to float away.

But…

Forget it, why overthink it?

Shang Xueyan messily and clumsily nibbled and sucked on his lips, then pulled back, averted his gaze, and said, “You can go—”

Before he could finish, his mouth was blocked. A powerfully strong hand reached around him, firmly pressing against his waist and pulling him forward. His lips were pried open, and a familiar scent rushed in. Every inch of his mouth was aggressively swept through, teeth occasionally grazing his lower lip, bringing a slight pain.

The slight pain only excited them more. Their chests pressed tightly together, rising and falling, thighs rubbing against thighs. The hand on Shang Xueyan’s lower back, filled with restrained emotion, rubbed forcefully against his skin through the soft fabric.

“Enough,” a low gasp escaped. Shang Xueyan’s neck involuntarily jerked upward. “You… you’re going to miss your high-speed train.”

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Author's note: Good night, xoxo