Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"These pastries are quite ordinary."

Jiang Mo heard Chen Yingchou's words and turned to look at him.

Chen Yingchou had only taken a small bite of the crystal cake, while she herself had already eaten three pieces. Though the pastries weren't particularly delicious, they were filling.

"I agree, especially the jasmine flower cake—it's far inferior to mine."

As soon as she said it, Jiang Mo realized she had misspoken.

Whether it was because they were outside the manor or the atmosphere was too relaxed, she had blurted something she shouldn't have.

Hui Qing had warned her that aside from Wei Yalan's expertise in the seven-stringed zither, she must never reveal any other skills, as it would easily expose her.

"Give me a piece of the jasmine flower cake." Chen Yingchou put down the pastry in his hand and reached out to Jiang Mo.

Jiang Mo didn't want him to taste it, but she couldn't find an excuse, so she had to hand him the jasmine cake.

Chen Yingchou took a bite. "The flavor is decent. Since my wife claims hers is better, she must let her husband taste it another day."

Jiang Mo bit her lip and said nothing. She didn't dare to agree.

Chen Yingchou: "Do you still remember what we discussed in the carriage?"

It was all an act. Chen Yingchou didn't actually want to eat the jasmine cake she made; he just wanted to appear affectionate.

When they entered the tavern, they had indirectly revealed their identities. From the moment they sat down, the other patrons' eyes had been fixed on them. Although He Ji, Qiao Yun, Lanqiu, and Randong blocked their view, they couldn't block their ears.

"When the jasmine blooms next year, I will make some for Your Highness to try."

As she finished speaking, the shopkeeper and a waiter arrived with trays of dishes.

Lanqiu and Randong took the trays one by one and knelt to serve the food. Qiao Yun pulled silver from his sleeve and handed it to the shopkeeper, who raised his hand but dared not accept it. "The guest has already paid, this, this..."

Qiao Yun: "This is a reward from Prince Yu."

The shopkeeper took the silver with both hands and bowed to Chen Yingchou. "Thank you, Prince Yu, for your generosity."

A faint smile curved at the corner of Chen Yingchou's mouth. This was exactly what he wanted—to have their identities revealed.

He deliberately ignored the shopkeeper and said to Jiang Mo, "My wife, your husband wishes to eat some fish."

Jiang Mo understood his intention. She picked up a piece of fish, carefully removed the bones, placed the fish meat on a spoon, and fed it to Chen Yingchou.

Only after Qiao Yun saw his master eat the fish did he step in front of the shopkeeper, blocking his view. "You may leave now."

This meal left Jiang Mo somewhat choked. Every time a waiter refilled the tea or brought a new dish, Chen Yingchou would inevitably make demands, and she had no choice but to cooperate. Having to feed him and wipe his mouth and hands was one thing, but it was exhausting.

By the time they finished eating, He Ji and Randong had gone to prepare the carriage. Without the two of them as a shield, Jiang Mo had to be careful even with her expressions.

With over a dozen dishes, the meal had taken more than an hour, and she was utterly exhausted.

Leaving the tavern, they went to a silver shop, a fabric store, and a jade shop. Fortunately, since Chen Yingchou was blind, she just had to pick things out without having to try them on for him. So it was quick and productive.

By the time they left East Street, it was already dark. Jiang Mo boarded the carriage first but waited a long time without Chen Yingchou arriving.

She lifted the carriage curtain and saw Qiao Yun and He Ji reporting something to Chen Yingchou. She recalled that at the silver shop, fabric store, and jade shop, she had been distracted by the nice things to pay much attention. Now thinking back, Chen Yingchou had been accompanied by other young eunuchs and guards, while He Ji and Qiao Yun were not by his side. Recalling what she had overheard in the carriage, aside from the tavern, all the other shops belonged to Duke Qingguo. It seemed today was not just about putting on an act of affection.

They had used her to draw attention in public while secretly investigating Duke Qingguo's properties behind the scenes.

A clever plan: they had put on a show of marital bliss and completed their business at the same time.

Jiang Mo shrugged indifferently. After all, she wasn't the real Wei Yalan. Even if Prince Yu wanted to find evidence against Duke Qingguo, it had nothing to do with her. Surely he wouldn't move against Duke Qingguo before she could leave, right?

Chen Yingchou boarded the carriage and, before even settling in, said, "You've worked hard today."

Jiang Mo looked at the man before her. Perhaps because they had performed the loving couple act so often, she no longer feared him as much. She sat more casually and spoke in a lighter tone, "As the prince's principal wife, this is my duty."

Chen Yingchou, however, sat stiffly. "The act isn't over yet. Tonight, I need you to stay in the main courtyard and share my bed."

Jiang Mo immediately sat up straight. "Your Highness said that only on the two days for conception each month... How..." She didn't finish, her face reddening.

Chen Yingchou's face turned even redder. "Only, sharing the same bed."

Jiang Mo breathed a sigh of relief.

She still liked children very much and wanted her own in the future. She didn't want to harm her health. Taking the herbal contraceptive once or twice a month was bearable, better than wearing that bracelet every day.

"Then that's fine." She touched the gold bracelet on her wrist, thinking that once she returned to the Zhaomu Courtyard, she would secretly remove the musk inside.

But when they arrived at Prince Yu's manor, Chen Yingchou didn't give her a chance to return to the Zhaomu Courtyard. He directly had her support him into the main courtyard.

Once there, a young eunuch reported that Zhu Shiliang had arrived and was waiting in the study. Jiang Mo still wanted to put the gold bracelet back in the Zhaomu Courtyard to avoid Prince Yu discovering its secret.

Before she could speak, Chen Yingchou instructed Lanqiu, "Help the princess bathe and change." Then he turned and headed to the study.

Jiang Mo thought about following him, but then reconsidered. It was probably because the spies in the manor hadn't been cleared out yet. Prince Yu was putting on an act for them, and she should cooperate. Moreover, as long as the gold bracelet wasn't examined carefully, its secret wouldn't be discovered.

After bathing and changing, Jiang Mo entered the room, where the scent of soothing incense was strong.

She wondered if such a strong incense would help Prince Yu sleep peacefully. As for her, the moment she lay down on the bed, she was too drowsy to keep her eyes open. Without waiting for Prince Yu, she drifted off to sleep.

"No—"

Jiang Mo was jolted awake by a cry. Prince Yu lay beside her, arms crossed over his chest, gripping the bedding tightly. Moonlight streamed through the window, illuminating his face.

His eyes were not covered with the red silk, and tears streamed from the corners of his eyes into his sideburns. His forehead was covered in fine sweat. His mouth was open, and he murmured indistinctly, "No, don't—dodge—run—" and similar phrases.

Remembering her childhood, when for some reason she often had nightmares, Jiang Mo recalled that when she woke up frightened, her mother would massage her temples and she would immediately calm down.

Jiang Mo propped herself up, moved up on the bed, leaned against the headboard, and gently massaged Chen Yingchou's temples.

Chen Yingchou gradually stopped shouting, though his brows were still furrowed and he clung to the bedding.

Jiang Mo, imitating her mother, patted his shoulder lightly and hummed the tune her mother used to hum.

Chen Yingchou relaxed his grip on the bedding, turned onto his side, and slowly opened his eyes. Seeing only darkness, he closed them again.

Jiang Mo glanced at him. His brow was relaxed, his expression peaceful, looking as though in deep sleep. She adjusted her position to make herself more comfortable, continuing to hum and pat him gently.

For a blind man, the ears are extremely sensitive. Amidst the shouts and sounds of battle that filled his ears, he heard a soothing, gentle voice coming down from the sky—ethereal and dreamlike, yet so soothing and healing. It was as if guiding the souls of the fallen soldiers, leading them to a peaceful place without bloodshed or war. It seemed to wipe the blood off their bodies and bring them to meet the ones they missed. It felt as though following that voice, you could go to another world and be reborn.

The battlefield before him began to fade and blur, but the voice in his ears grew clearer and clearer.

In the past three months, this was the first time he had woken up so calmly.

When he first returned to the capital, he couldn't sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the scene of his soldiers dying before him. Later, he started burning soothing incense. At first, he could sleep peacefully for a short while, but then he always dreamed of the battlefield, waking up either from a scene of blood and gore or because Qiao Yun woke him from his shouting.

After that, the dosage of benzoin kept increasing, yet he still dreamed of that battle.

In his dreams, he experienced life and death over and over, watched his comrades-in-arms die again and again, as if he had been reborn countless times. He tried desperately to stop it, to fight it, to change the outcome, but it was all in vain.

He was filled with regret. If only he hadn't misjudged, the Flying Cavalry Army wouldn't have been ambushed, those soldiers wouldn't have died, and their parents, wives, and children wouldn't have endured the pain of losing loved ones.

"Wei Yalan..."

The name was uttered in a heavy voice, and Jiang Mo's heart also grew heavy. She stopped her movements and her humming.

Softly, she said, "Your Highness, it's me."

Realizing that Chen Yingchou's head was near her waist, she quickly shifted aside, intending to lie back in her own spot.

Chen Yingchou grabbed her wrist. "Do you have any regrets so deep you can't let go?"

"Yes. I wish I could live my life over again, go back to that time, and change that event."

After Luo Li died, she was consumed with self-blame, blaming herself for not noticing Luo Li's illness earlier. She kept thinking, if only Luo Li had been treated a few days earlier, she might still be alive.

Jiang Mo sighed softly. "If the past could change, we would wallow in the past every day. In this world, how many people have no regrets?"

"If the past could change, I would die a thousand times to change it. But it cannot change, so I dare not forget it even for a day." Chen Yingchou's voice was filled with grief and helplessness.

Jiang Mo felt a tightness in her chest. "Your Highness, are you blaming yourself? Blaming yourself for failing to bring them back? Or blaming yourself for not dying with them? Or do you think you don't deserve to live well, that you should spend the rest of your life in regret, guilt, and self-blame?"

Chen Yingchou's breath caught. He slowly sat up and remained motionless for a long time.

Jiang Mo lowered her head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

Chen Yingchou said, "No need to apologize. You go back to sleep. I'll stay in the outer room for a while."

Jiang Mo rose with Chen Yingchou, and as he reached for his outer robe, she took it down first.

Chen Yingchou tried to take the robe, but Jiang Mo didn't let go. "Your Highness, the Zhuoyang campaign still brought back ten thousand men. Together with the fifty thousand troops stationed in Shangjing, the Flying Cavalry Army numbers sixty thousand. They still need you. Don't forget them."

He had heard many words of comfort—some telling him to grieve; some telling him to let go; some saying he must not disappoint the expectations of his imperial parents; some saying the dead soldiers would want him to pull himself together; some saying he had to keep fighting to protect the people and defend against foreign enemies; some saying the Flying Cavalry Army must not fall into other hands; and some saying the army would soon dissolve without him.

Everyone was weighing pros and cons, trying to use the Flying Cavalry Army for gain. No one thought about the ordinary soldiers.

Noticing he was stunned, Jiang Mo continued, "Are you afraid they resent you? They don't. They need your leadership to defend their country and fight on the battlefield, to fulfill their aspirations and give them a life of value."

Even this thought, Jiang Mo had noticed. He felt guilty for those forty thousand who died, and he also feared that the remaining soldiers had lost faith in him and no longer wished to follow him.

Even though He Ji had said the Flying Cavalry Army would only follow him, he dared not believe or ask whether their loyalty was due to his own merits, his lineage, or the good pay. Were the soldiers truly devoted to him? Would they continue to follow him?

He dared not even ask He Ji whether he resented him for not bringing his brother back, or whether he wanted to leave.

He had asked himself countless times, and every time the answer was no. Not to mention the wrong decision at Zhuoyang, but now, as a blind commander unable to fight on the battlefield, what was there worth following?

Chen Yingchou laughed bitterly. "You are not them."

The robe slipped from Jiang Mo's hands, and Chen Yingchou walked to the outer room.