Chapter 92

Chapter 92

"Jiang Mo, it's time to take your medicine." An Zeyou entered, setting the bowl of medicine on the table. "You haven't finished your month of recovery after childbirth yet. Don't stand by the window; watch out for drafts."

Jiang Mo forced a smile. "It's fine. There's no wind today, and it's still quite hot."

An Zeyou took an oiled paper packet from his bosom, opened it, and held out a piece of candied fruit to Jiang Mo. "I just picked these up. Have one when you drink the medicine, and it won't taste so bitter."

Jiang Mo's gaze fell on the candied fruit, recalling the day she had disguised herself to secretly visit her father. On the way back, Qiao Yun, Lin Mei, and the entire Zhaomu Courtyard staff had gone along with her act. Chen Yingchou had bought her very sweet candied fruit. That was a happy day.

Thinking of it now felt like a lifetime ago.

She picked up a piece and put it in her mouth. "Very sweet." Then she picked up the bowl of medicine from the table and drank it all in one go.

An Zeyou took the empty bowl from her hand. "Tomorrow we'll head back to the Northern Frontier. From now on, I'll protect you. No one will hurt you anymore."

Jiang Mo was silent for a moment, then said, "Master An, I am very grateful that you saved my life again. But I don't want to go back to the Northern Frontier with you. Let my family and me stay in Su City."

"No." An Zeyou set down the empty bowl. "Have you forgotten? The Empress Dowager wants to kill you. She must still be searching for you. It's not safe here."

Jiang Mo shook her head. "The Empress Dowager will soon give up looking for me. Whether I'm dead or just disappeared doesn't matter. What matters is that she achieved her goal."

"If the Empress Dowager learns you are still alive, she will worry that you will go back to Chen Yingchou and won't spare you." An Zeyou walked to the window and closed it. "It's safest to come with me to the Northern Frontier."

Jiang Mo laughed bitterly. "How can I go back? And how can I find him? On this journey from the capital to the Northern Frontier, I had no money on me. My father and younger brother were also taken care of by you. How could I go back?"

She looked at the closed window, feeling inexplicably short of breath. "Didn't everyone in the palace believe I died in childbirth? Even if I reached the palace gates, how would I get in? If I said I was the little prince's birth mother, who would believe me? The guards would just turn me away."

Jiang Mo's gaze shifted to An Zeyou's face. "On this journey, I haven't asked you yet: How were you able to leave the capital? Is your An Family Army about to launch a rebellion?"

An Zeyou walked up to Jiang Mo. "Yes. I don't want to hide it from you anymore. From the moment I was sent to the capital as a hostage, my father began planning. It was my father who approached Wei Chun, telling him that the royal family no longer trusted him. He tricked Wei Chun into taking a slow poison and secretly transporting black gold to the Northern Frontier every three months."

He sighed deeply. "Who would have thought that the Grand Empress Dowager took a liking to Wei Yalan, and the emperor granted the marriage. Chen Yingchou was the crown prince designate. Wei Chun is a fence-sitter; he started having second thoughts. If not for the slow poison controlling him, he might have reported my father then. But unexpectedly, Chen Yingchou went blind after a campaign, lost his position as crown prince, and became a disabled man. Just when Wei Chun was anxious about how to break off the engagement, you appeared..."

"I appeared at the worst possible time. I can only blame that unlucky gust of wind that day for blowing my veil open." Jiang Mo touched her cheek. Whenever she thought of that day, she felt that fate was predetermined, that she had no control over it.

Fate had pushed her step by step to where she was today. So often, she felt like a puppet on strings.

"No, I want to thank that bad wind. If not for it, how could I have met you? Jiang Mo, do you know that after it was decided you would stand in for Wei Yalan in the wedding, my father and Wei Chun agreed that once the plan succeeded, Wei Yalan would be married to me. And do you know why I agreed to this marriage? It was because I had seen Wei Yalan once." He shook his head with a wry smile. "Only later did I realize that the person I saw that day was actually you."

Speaking of this, An Zeyou became agitated. "Why do you think I was so hostile to you when we first met? It was because Wei Chun told me that you willingly took the place, that you wanted wealth and status and the honor of being a princess, that it didn't matter whom you married. I thought you were a greedy, vain woman. Jiang Mo, can you forgive me for that?"

Jiang Mo smiled bitterly. "Wei Chun was right. Becoming a princess is indeed like that. I've got no excuse."

"Can you forgive me for that time? If I could turn back time, I would never treat you that way again." An Zeyou stared into Jiang Mo's eyes, full of anticipation.

Jiang Mo turned her head away. "You were deceived too. You didn't do anything wrong. There's nothing for me to forgive."

An Zeyou took another step forward. Jiang Mo instinctively stepped back, only to find the table behind her blocking her retreat.

"Actually, I didn't approve of my father's rebellion at first. Having spent ten years with Chen Yingchou, I know that although he is skilled in warfare, he doesn't like war. He treated me as a true friend. As long as he ascended the throne and I acted as a mediator, the Chen imperial clan and our An family could coexist peacefully.

"I even thought that as long as my parents, elder brother, and sister were safe, I wouldn't mind staying in the capital for the rest of my life. I knew in my heart that the Chen imperial clan and our An family couldn't remain at peace forever, but I always hoped that at least during Chen Yingchou's reign, the realm could enjoy a few years of stability. But then Heaven let me meet you, and I could no longer stay in the capital peacefully. I wanted to take you away. I wanted to be with you."

Jiang Mo immediately said, "An Zeyou, don't say that. Your plans to rebel have nothing to do with me, and I cannot reciprocate your feelings."

An Zeyou took a gold hairpin from his bosom. "You can't go back to the capital. Su City will soon be plunged into war. Come with me to the Northern Frontier. From now on, the An family in the Northern Frontier will be your home. Accept this gold hairpin and come with me. I will take care of you and your family for the rest of your life." As he spoke, he tried to put the hairpin in Jiang Mo's hair, but she pushed him away. "I'm sorry, I cannot accept this hairpin."

An Zeyou's hand stopped in midair, his grip on the hairpin tightening. He forcefully pulled Jiang Mo into his arms and put the hairpin in her hair.

Jiang Mo struggled continuously, trying to take the hairpin off. An Zeyou held her tightly, locking her arms so she couldn't move. "You cannot refuse me. There's nowhere else for you to go. You've just given birth; your body is weak and needs care. You have no money, and your father and younger brother need you. Where can you go? Stay by my side. I will treat you well for the rest of my life."

An Zeyou was right. Jiang Mo stopped struggling, her eyes staring blankly out the window. The sunset glow had faded, leaving only a faint afterglow. "I will always remember your kindness to me. If I can't repay it in this life, I'll be your ox or horse in the next. But I only feel friendship for you; I cannot be with you. When I am better, I will take my father and brother and leave. How we live from then on is none of your business, Master An."

"How can I not be concerned for you?" An Zeyou stroked Jiang Mo's hair. "From this moment on, everything I do is for the sake of being with you forever."

Jiang Mo tried to struggle again. "An Zeyou, let go of me first. Let's talk properly."

An Zeyou did not loosen his grip. "I know you don't love me. I don't ask you to love me. I only want you to stay by my side." He released his embrace but grabbed her shoulders tightly, bending slightly to look at her. "Don't worry, I won't force you to do anything."

"But right now you are forcing me!" Jiang Mo used all her strength to break free and moved to the other side of the room, assuming a defensive posture. "Don't come closer. Don't make me hate you."

An Zeyou looked at Jiang Mo like that. It was like a bucket of cold water poured over his head, extinguishing his burning hope. Yet he still wanted to protect that hope, even if he was surrounded by icy thorns.

"I heard from Jiang Bai that when you were in Xiling County, you were going to marry a carpenter. Am I not even as good as a carpenter? Tell me, why can't it be me? I don't even hope for you to love me."

Jiang Mo lowered her head. "You are different. The timing is wrong; everything is wrong."

Back then, she felt that besides taking care of her child, she also had to look after her father and younger brother. The family really needed a reliable man, and she wanted to start a new life. Now, she was glad she hadn't married Ding Lizhu; that would have been unfair to him.

Even if Chen Yingchou hadn't found her that time, she probably would have called off the wedding before it happened.

"You deserve a better woman, An Zeyou. You have saved me several times, and I am very grateful. But I cannot reciprocate your feelings. I don't want to keep accepting your care, and I don't want to keep owing you. I have hands and feet; I can take care of myself. I don't need your care."

After repeated rejections, An Zeyou had placed himself in the most humble position. As long as he could keep Jiang Mo, he didn't mind being even more humble. "You have never owed me anything. You never asked me to save you. Everything I did was voluntary. All of it, all of it, is because I can't let you go. I love you. I don't want any repayment—no repayment at all. I only want you to stay by my side."

An Zeyou tried to approach Jiang Mo. "Let's go back to how we were before. You listen to me pour out my heart, and you listen quietly. How about that?"

Jiang Mo said nothing, turning her head away from him.

She had already made herself clear, but An Zeyou still wouldn't give up. She didn't know how else to refuse.

An Zeyou knew that Jiang Mo had a strong temper. Afraid that pressing too hard would make her do something drastic, he dared not advance or say more. He stepped back to the door. "You don't have to answer me right away. I'm leaving now. I'll have a maidservant bring your dinner."

"Wait." Jiang Mo called him back. An Zeyou immediately stopped, his heart in his throat, thinking she was going to give him an answer.

"I want to see my father and younger brother. Where have you locked them up?"

An Zeyou smiled disappointedly. "Don't worry, they are fine. I haven't locked them up. I only sent people to protect them. You will see them tomorrow."

He opened the door, then turned back. "You are still in your month of recovery after childbirth. Don't overthink things. Take good care of yourself first."

The door closed. Jiang Mo slowly slid down against the wall, hugging her knees, and wept silently.

She recalled those nights in Kunning Palace when Chen Yingchou had come to see her. She had thought all the misfortune was over, but she still couldn't escape the same fate as Lin Mei.

Too bad Lin Mei hadn't been as lucky as she was to be rescued.

She was truly grateful to An Zeyou and wanted to repay him. But she couldn't be selfish—loving someone in her heart while being with another, enjoying the giving without being able to give sincerely.

As a friend of An Zeyou, she sincerely wished that he would soon meet the one destined for him.