Chapter 87

Chapter 87

Su Jiying was not worried at all. "His Majesty's Flying Cavalry is brave and invincible, and there are also the garrison troops from various prefectures and counties. Even if An Shengwu rebels, his chances of winning are slim."

Jiang Mo said, "Once the war starts, it will be the common people who suffer."

Su Jiying took her hand and helped her up. "Let's go sit on the soft couch by the window. You have to trust His Majesty—he will surely end the war soon."

Jiang Mo held her lower back and slowly got out of bed. Su Jiying saw her belly and couldn't help sighing. "The last time we met was when Lin Mei..." She stopped mid-sentence.

"I know you miss Lin Mei. I miss her too. You don't have to be afraid to mention her because you think it will upset me." Jiang Mo sat down, looking out the window. "The last time we met was the day you told me Lin Mei had left. It was around the tenth of the third lunar month, I think. Counting the days, it's been five months since we last saw each other."

Su Jiying pretended to be angry. "That day, after you met with Princess Rong, I wanted to come see you, but you kept me out. You were so heartless."

Jiang Mo lowered her head and was silent for a moment. Then she got up, took out four thin gauze garments from a box, and said, "I've been so bored these days in Kunning Palace, so I sewed a few garments." She handed one to Su Jiying. "This one is for you." She placed the other three neatly folded on the couch. "These three are for Lanqiu, Wangxia, and Xingchun. I embroidered the characters for spring, summer, and autumn on the cuffs. Please give them to them after I leave." Then she took out a thicker garment. "This one is for Randong. Please give them all to the girls and ask them to burn this one for Randong during the tomb-sweeping ceremony."

Su Jiying said, "Don't worry." She took off her own thin outer robe and put on the one Jiang Mo had sewn. She turned around in a circle. "It's very pretty. I like it a lot."

"It's not as pretty as the one you're wearing. Mine is too plain."

Su Jiying took Jiang Mo's hand. "Who said that? I don't like fancy, elaborate clothes anymore. I prefer plain ones like this."

Jiang Mo knew she was trying to cheer her up, so she nodded. "I'm glad you like it."

Su Jiying walked over to the box and looked inside. "Are there any more? Didn't you sew one for His Majesty?"

Jiang Mo's heart ached. She clenched her fists. "No. I don't want him to be reminded of me by seeing things. The less I leave for His Majesty, the better. Su Jiying, I want to ask you for a favor."

Su Jiying walked over from the box. "Tell me."

"His Majesty has a jasmine hairpin and a green jasmine sachet. Can you sneak them out for me?"

Su Jiying's eyes widened. "What are you going to do? Destroy the tokens between you? Even if you want to do that, don't ask me. I can't even get close to His Majesty." She sat down angrily. "You and Lin Mei really have completely different personalities. She was indecisive, but you are too decisive."

Jiang Mo said, "You can do it. You are my best friend. You will definitely help me."

Su Jiying laughed bitterly. "What? Now that you need me, you recognize me as your best friend? You don't want His Majesty to be reminded of you when he sees things, but have you ever thought how heartbroken I will be after you leave?"

As she spoke, Su Jiying's eyes reddened, and tears streamed down her face. Jiang Mo stepped forward and hugged her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to go. The Empress Dowager brought me back. His Majesty doesn't know yet. If he goes to Jiangnan to look for me and finds I'm missing, he will be very worried. I'm afraid that with An Shengwu's rebellion imminent, I can't help His Majesty or be by his side. If I also let him be distracted by memories of me, then I would be truly terrible."

"You are terrible. Both you and Lin Mei are terrible people." Su Jiying cried even harder. "You leave, and she... died... What am I supposed to do? Do you know how worried I was when I thought it was you who had fallen into the water? How much I wanted to go to Prince Yu's residence to look for you? When I heard you had lost your memory, how miserable I felt? I also wanted you to regain your memory. I watched His Majesty go crazy again and again, and fail again and again, and how anxious I was. Do you know the day His Majesty asked me to see you, when I realized that Wei Yalan wasn't you, I felt both joy and grief? Joy, because I finally understood why you had always refused me. Grief, because I was afraid that Duke Qingguo had already killed you and you were dead. I also tried everything to find you. Jiang Mo, I'm telling you, no matter where you go, you must not cut off contact with me. The Su residence isn't going anywhere, and neither am I. Is it so hard for you to send me a letter through a merchant caravan or a courier service?"

It seemed Su Jiying only knew that after Jiang Mo gave birth, the Empress Dowager would send her away, but she didn't know she would be sent out of Great Qi. She still thought it would be easy to exchange letters. Jiang Mo couldn't bring herself to tell her the truth. "Alright, I will write to you. But you must also promise me you'll try to make new friends."

Su Jiying looked at Jiang Mo with grievance. "Do you think no one wants me? All the noble ladies in the capital city are eager to befriend me. But I know they get close to me only because I'm the Empress Dowager's niece and the legitimate daughter of the Su family. Do you know that you are the only one who dares to reject me? Do you also know that you are the only one who made me want to be friends? And do you know that if it weren't for you, I would never have met Lin Mei, and I wouldn't have been hurt so badly by the two of you?"

Jiang Mo wiped away her tears. "Look, how many times have you said 'do you know' just now? Su Jiying, I know everything you said. You are a very, very important friend in my life. From now on, no matter where I am, I will always remember you and wish you well."

May you find good friends, meet a good man, be free from illness and misfortune, and live a long, happy, and peaceful life.

Su Jiying smiled through her tears. "Jiang Mo, I won't let you off that easily. I'll keep waiting to see you again."

She looked at the jasmine hairpin Jiang Mo was wearing. "His Majesty carved this wooden hairpin for you, didn't he?"

Jiang Mo nodded.

"His Majesty's love for you runs deep. If one day he firmly secures the throne and the Empress Dowager no longer obstructs, will you return to His Majesty? Jiang Mo, I think there are some things you need to know. After His Majesty tried all kinds of methods and still couldn't find the memories that Wei Yalan never had, he actually believed that Wei Yalan had been possessed by a spirit. He had her drugged and taken to temples and Taoist monasteries. At that time, the entire Eastern Palace was afraid that His Majesty would really go mad one day. Fortunately, His Majesty learned the truth and went to Jiangnan to see you. Otherwise, I don't know what other crazy things he might have done. Now that Duke Qingguo has been executed..."

Su Jiying suddenly changed the subject. "Duke Qingguo deserved his punishment." She tightly held Jiang Mo's hand. "As a bystander, watching a ruler of a country go to such lengths for you, even I was touched. If His Majesty clears the way for you, you must come back."

Many things were beyond her control. Su Jiying kept telling her to come back because she didn't know the Empress Dowager planned to send her out of Great Qi. Jiang Mo understood the Empress Dowager's intention. Her identity was only the least important reason. The people wanted an enlightened ruler, the court officials wanted political stability, the Chen imperial clan wanted the fame and fortune that imperial power brought, and the Empress Dowager wanted to continue the royal bloodline. No one except her wanted an emperor in love.

Coming and going were not decisions she could make.

She didn't want to reveal these things to Su Jiying. She curled her lips into a smile. "How far off is that? How many concubines will His Majesty have by then? Su Jiying, you should know me. If it's not an exclusive love, I'd rather not have it."

Su Jiying said no more. An emperor marrying a wife and taking concubines rarely had anything to do with love; it was all for balancing the imperial court and the harem. She believed in Chen Yingchou's love for Jiang Mo, but she didn't believe he could defy social conventions.

"Miss Su, the Empress Dowager summons you." A maid knocked on the door outside.

Su Jiying shrugged. "She's rushing me."

"Wait a moment." She replied and went to the ice basin, closing her eyes to let the cold air soothe the redness of her eyes. "I can't let my aunt see that I've been crying, or she'll think you've been crying too, and she'll never let me come see you again."

She patted her eyes with the back of her hand. "Next time I come, I'll sneak in some sweet fruit wine. How about we have a little?"

Feeling that her eyes had recovered enough, Su Jiying picked up the clothes from the soft couch and walked to the door, asking, "Do you want green plum wine, mulberry wine, lychee wine, or honey wine?"

Jiang Mo said, "I like them all. Bring whatever you like."

Su Jiying winked at her. "Then honey wine. It's the sweetest." She opened the door and turned back to say, "Wait for me."

Jiang Mo smiled and nodded, watching the door close again. She felt a hollow emptiness in her heart.

She went to the box and took out a garment from the very bottom. Good thing Su Jiying had only glanced inside and hadn't rummaged.

This garment was one she had sewn for Chen Yingchou, still unfinished. She picked up the needle and thread, stood still for a long time, and then put it back.

A garment that could never be given away—what use was it to finish sewing it?

That night, she couldn't sleep at all. Su Jiying's words kept echoing in her mind. She hadn't expected that Chen Yingchou would go so far as to drug Wei Yalan and take her to temples and Taoist monasteries just to find her.

For the next few days, she slept poorly. The closer the day of childbirth came, the more she missed him. When reason is weak, the heart always sneaks out, wandering to lost chances.

Jiang Mo regretted not telling Chen Yingchou in the Jiangnan courtyard that she was carrying his child, and she regretted not responding to his feelings.

Life is so short, yet so long. In this lifetime, there would probably never be another chance.

In the darkness, the two maids on duty at the door leaned against the corridor pillars, fast asleep. The courtyard was utterly silent. Jiang Mo got up, casually threw on a gauze robe, opened the window, and stood by it, leaning her elbows on the sill, chin in hand, looking up at the sky.

In the deep ink-black sky, the moon was far away, with only a few faint stars scattered around, looking rather lonely.

It was not a good night for moon or star gazing. She lost interest and was about to close the window when her gaze landed on something and she froze.

Her heart tightened. She looked at the figure standing not far away. The man merged with the darkness, and only a pair of eyes brighter than the stars could be seen.

They were the eyes she knew, the eyes she longed for day and night.

Jiang Mo's tears welled up all at once. She dared not blink, afraid it was an illusion, afraid that if she blinked, the figure would disappear.

Chen Yingchou removed his black face veil and slowly walked toward her. He cupped her face with both hands, gently kissed her forehead, and said softly, "Can't sleep?"

Jiang Mo looked up, her eyes fixed on his. "I was thinking of you."

Chen Yingchou was stunned for a moment. Fireworks exploded in his mind, waves surged in his heart, his blood raced. He couldn't help smiling, and tears instantly filled his eyes, flowing uncontrollably. His voice trembled as he said, "I miss you too. So much, so much."

Jiang Mo had never seen Chen Yingchou cry so much. Wanting him not to be so sad, she caught his tears with a handkerchief and teased with a smile, "You are the most honored person in the world. Your tears are precious. I have to catch them quickly."

Chen Yingchou grabbed Jiang Mo's hand and pressed it to his cheek, gently rubbing it back and forth. He said in a pleading tone, "A Mo, without you, I've been so miserable. Can you please show me some love?"

Jiang Mo took the initiative to stroke his face, tilting her head to look at him with a smile. "My honored Majesty, how would you like me to be kind to you, Your Majesty?"

Chen Yingchou glanced at the room. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

Jiang Mo laughed. "My fault. I forgot to let Your Majesty into the room." She took two steps back. Chen Yingchou jumped in and immediately hugged her. Feeling the swell of her belly, he released Jiang Mo and looked down, his eyes full of guilt. "I didn't know it was this big already."

Chen Yingchou couldn't control his emotions at all. He laughed and cried at the same time. His hands reached out but then pulled back. He wanted to touch Jiang Mo's belly but didn't dare.