Chapter 27 I Love You

Chapter 27 I Love You

Zhu Shinian was a little stunned.

"You mean... you're okay?" Zhu Shinian asked instinctively.

Realizing that was indeed the case, he slightly pursed his lips, as if trying to hold back tears.

"It's good that you're okay." Zhu Shinian clearly choked up, then his whole body slumped down as if all strength had left him, resting his head gently against Gu Zhen's hand on the bed, his shoulders trembling slightly.

"...That's good." He murmured the words again.

Seeing him like this, all of Gu Zhen's anger vanished, leaving only a bitter ache in his heart.

He reached out and ruffled Zhu Shinian's hair.

Why was Zhu Shinian always like this? He had just snapped at him harshly, yet here he was, acting like he’d just survived a disaster because Gu Zhen was okay.

No anger at all.

But Gu Zhen had genuinely been looking out for him—this was no place for him to be. Once he came, he might not be able to leave.

"Don't cry, it's okay. I'm fine, aren't I? They were just tricking you. I didn't mean to snap at you just now, but this isn't where you should be. I was worried about you..."

Zhu Shinian lifted his head, and Gu Zhen saw his whole face was a mess of tears.

Gu Zhen reached out to wipe his tears, feeling a lump in his throat.

Ultimately, it was his own uselessness—he didn't have as much pull in the military as his grandfather, and that's why everything had turned out this way.

"Gu Zhen..." Zhu Shinian called his name softly. "Does it hurt?"

"Not too bad. I should be fine by tomorrow. Grandpa wouldn't give me heavy drugs."

"Next time you hear something like that, at least ask me first. Go get some sleep in the next room. I'll figure out how to send you back tomorrow."

"I was afraid you'd keep bad news from me so I wouldn't worry. I'm not as dumb as you think—I knew the commander might be lying to me, but I was just... afraid that if something really happened to you..."

Zhu Shinian lowered his head, avoiding his eyes.

"Don't worry about it. The agent's identity for this mission has already been replaced with mine. If I go back now, we'll all be exposed."

"When you get back, could you take care of Grandma for me? I'll hurry up and get the mission done, then try to come back soon."

Unlike the tension and choked voice when he was worried about Gu Zhen's safety, Zhu Shinian's tone was much calmer and steadier when he mentioned that his grandfather had set him up so he couldn't leave.

In that moment, Gu Zhen felt like he'd been hit by lightning.

He looked at Zhu Shinian's drooping chestnut eyes that wouldn't meet his, and couldn't say a single word.

He wanted to go home and confront Gu Liancheng, to ask him why he had done this to Zhu Shinian.

Even if—even if he didn't like Zhu Shinian and wanted to drive him away, how could he stoop so low?

"I'll get you some fever medicine." Zhu Shinian stood up from beside his bed. "But taking medicine on an empty stomach isn't good, is it?"

"I'll see what's in the fridge and whip up something simple. Don't be picky. You need to eat before you can take your medicine."

He wanted to say, "Don't cook. There are compressed biscuits. Just let me eat something simple."

*Zhu Shinian, come back. Let me hold you for a while. We won't see each other for a long, long time.*

*Just let me hold you for a moment.*

But once the rush of emotions faded, the dizziness and nausea came flooding back.

He didn't even have the strength to call out to Zhu Shinian. He nearly passed out.

"Colonel? Colonel?"

When he opened his eyes, Zhu Shinian's face was right there.

"Feeling awful? Eat something—you'll feel better after the meds."

"I found steak in the fridge and pan-fried it. It might be a bit tough, but since you're sick, I was afraid undercooking it would upset your stomach..."

Zhu Shinian helped him sit up and lean against the pillows.

The steak was cut into very small pieces, but it looked so tough nobody would want to eat it.

Zhu Shinian forked up the steak and fed him piece by piece, treating him like a little kid.

"It might not taste great, but just eat a little, okay?"

Gu Zhen didn't want to let him down, so he choked down big bites even though he felt like throwing up.

Although he said it might not taste good, seeing Gu Zhen wolf it down, Zhu Shinian couldn't help asking hopefully if it was any good.

Like a kid cooking for their parents for the first time, or a young girl cooking for her sweetheart.

"It's pretty good, just a little tough." Gu Zhen paused, then said.

Because of the high fever, he couldn't taste anything anyway.

He didn't know if Zhu Shinian had tried it himself. Afraid he'd suspect something, he didn't risk saying anything else.

"This is my first time making it. Next time I'll pay more attention."

"I'll be careful on the mission and try to come back safe. If I..."

Zhu Shinian paused, and Gu Zhen knew what he was going to say.

"I know. Don't talk like that..."

"But if something does happen to me," Zhu Shinian pressed on, "please take care of Grandma for me. Just tell her I'm on a mission. She's old and sick—she doesn't have much time left."

"Gu Zhen, I..."

Zhu Shinian was reserved, introverted, never expressing his feelings directly.

He was silent for a long moment.

"I love you."

.......

Zhu Shinian loved him.

Gu Zhen didn't understand how things had ended up like this. In that moment, he had sworn to himself that he would treat Zhu Shinian right forever.

That he would never put him in danger again, never make him sad or hurt again.

Sometimes it's hard to blame people for thinking that vows made in love are nothing but bullshit—even Gu Zhen himself now finds himself doing things that his past self would have utterly despised.

But it was just... a temporary mark that would fade soon.

Why had he turned out like this?

Zhu Shinian, in Gu Zhen's arms, furrowed his brows, panting in pain, trembling slightly.

Then, after a few seconds, he opened his eyes.

"Niannian," Gu Zhen said with difficulty, wanting to offer the apology he had prepared. "I..."

"Gu Zhen, I want a little of your pheromones," Zhu Shinian spoke first. "I feel... not well."

Not well?

Gu Zhen froze, still not fully understanding what was happening, then he immediately fumbled to remove the suppressant patch.

The car was suddenly filled with the scent of alpha cedarwood pheromones—cold, crisp, intoxicating and addictive.

For a moment, Zhu Shinian trembled even more violently, then after a while he came back to himself.

"I'm much better," Zhu Shinian said, forcing a pale smile.

Only then did Gu Zhen remember that, in the physiology classes he had skipped during his youth to practice equestrian or shooting, the textbook had vaguely mentioned that a marked omega greatly needs their alpha's pheromones.

Gu Zhen wrapped an arm around him, letting him lean on him, and reached out to grab his hand, trying to warm it up.

The words "I'm sorry" lingered on his lips, but they felt as heavy as a thousand pounds, impossible to utter.

People are such despicable creatures—the more gentle and forgiving the other person is, the more unwilling they are to admit they have bullied such a good person.

He had marked Zhu Shinian against his will; Zhu Shinian had cried in his arms until he was nearly shaking, yet he still obediently leaned against him.

Zhu Shinian was so good, so kind.

But apologizing to Zhu Shinian meant admitting that he himself was the one bullying this wonderful Zhu Shinian, making him suffer, making him feel wronged, reducing him to this state.

In Gu Zhen's heart, the true culprit behind this was undoubtedly Jiang Huaiyan.

If not for Jiang Huaiyan taking advantage of the situation, how could Zhu Shinian have been marked by Jiang Huaiyan, how could he be in such discomfort now?

That was real rape by seduction, truly low-down tactics.

But... a weak voice inside whispered, I am indeed also bullying him, marking him despite his pleas.

I should also... apologize.

After smelling Gu Zhen's pheromones, Zhu Shinian immediately felt much better.

He didn't have time to say anything, just greedily inhaled the pheromones he had craved even while unconscious, as if afraid that Gu Zhen would change his mind the next second.

The pheromones entered his lungs and chest with each breath, flowed through his blood vessels to every part of his body, and he finally felt some relief.

In the moment of being marked for the second time, he had resented Gu Zhen, even wanted to bite him until he bled, to make him feel a thousandth of the pain he had endured.

He didn't understand why Gu Zhen had treated him like a prisoner, why, after saying he forgave him, he still subjected him to such torment.

"Feeling better?" Zhu Shinian heard him ask.

Zhu Shinian first nodded in his arms, then immediately shook his head slightly.

He was afraid Gu Zhen would put the suppressant patch back on; he wanted a little more pheromones.

Now, whether Gu Zhen wanted him to feel good or suffer, either seemed effortless for Gu Zhen.

"If you're comfortable, say so; if you're uncomfortable, say so. Why both nod and shake your head?"

"...Afraid I won't give you pheromones?"

Zhu Shinian looked up; his thoughts were easily seen through by Gu Zhen.

Gu Zhen said nothing, just released even more pheromones.

For a marked omega, no matter how high the concentration of the marker's pheromones, they were always comforting.

The body's protective mechanisms gradually made him forget how painful the forced marking had been the night before; he hazily thought, this was his own fault—Gu Zhen had punished him, and now he had forgiven him.

After all, he had betrayed Gu Zhen.

Gu Zhen gave him the chance to enter the military academy, gave him the status of his only lover, treated him so well.

Gu Zhen was angry; he wanted to punish him—that seemed... to be what he deserved.

It was his fault.

Even if it was sad and painful, this person was Gu Zhen.

The Gu Zhen who had once been so good to him.

Zhu Shinian, as if recalling something, reached out and lifted the hem of Gu Zhen's shirt.

He gently touched an old scar on Gu Zhen's body, and Gu Zhen grabbed his hand, pulling the shirt back down.

"Alright, it's been so long, why are you still looking at this?"

The scar no longer looked as fierce and terrifying, but the image of crimson blood gushing from that spot felt like it was just yesterday.

Author's note: