Chapter 65 Pendulous Crabapple

Chapter 65: Weeping Crabapple

Zhu Shinian felt gratitude, guilt, resentment, and in the past, fondness and love toward Gu Zhen. Even now, he couldn't honestly claim he didn't like Gu Zhen anymore.

It would probably take a hundred or a thousand words to describe their relationship.

But no matter what, it could never be reduced to hatred.

Zhu Shinian wanted to explain himself, but after drinking that bowl of fish soup laced with sleeping pills, his consciousness almost immediately became hazy.

"Gu Zhen, we... we need to talk..."

I don't hate you. I don't hate you so much I'd rather die.

There's nothing else I need to do. I also don't want my teachers to trade my freedom for conditions I can't accept.

I can stay here...

Until the day you tire of me.

"What do you want to talk about? To convince me to let you and Jiang Huaiyan be together?" Gu Zhen said sarcastically. "To say you two are true love, that you like him so much that being kissed by me would make you kill yourself?"

"I also agreed to let you go. As long as you said you didn't like it, I wouldn't touch you. Are you that disgusted by me?"

Gu Zhen pressed on relentlessly, and the drowsiness grew heavier. Zhu Shinian could hardly find a chance to interject.

He fumbled, trying to grab Gu Zhen's hand to make him listen for just two sentences, just two.

But his limbs were also growing sluggish.

"Zhu Shinian, have you forgotten? You were the one who came after me first. You were the one who said you liked me first."

"I have nothing to talk to you about." Gu Zhen coldly dropped the words and was about to stand up and leave.

But at that moment, Zhu Shinian's slightly cool fingers suddenly covered his hand. Gu Zhen froze in place as if under a paralysis spell.

Two or three seconds later, a light weight settled in his arms.

The sleeping pills had taken effect. Zhu Shinian had fallen asleep leaning against him.

Gu Zhen felt as if his emotions were swinging from mountain peaks to ocean depths in a single day, nearly driven mad by Zhu Shinian.

It was Zhu Shinian who had come after him first. It was Zhu Shinian who had said he liked him first.

How could Zhu Shinian treat him like this? How could Zhu Shinian hate him enough to want to die?

Gu Zhen remembered very clearly: Zhu Shinian had confessed to him at his twenty-second birthday banquet.

Gu Zhen didn't like birthday banquets. For him, they were just about putting on a stiff smile, wearily greeting the coming and going guests, and then, according to his grandfather's instructions, dancing with every omega who invited him.

Until a disreputable friend from the military found him and said someone outside was looking for him.

There were too many guests, and it was a busy time. No one from the military would come cause trouble for Master Gu at a time like this. Gu Zhen frowned and asked who it was.

That friend, who was always a bit of a rascal, vaguely said it was a surprise for him.

Since their families had been friends for generations, Gu Zhen thought it over and guessed the friend had given him a gift that needed to be accepted in person, so he went outside.

There was no large or particularly expensive gift that required in-person acceptance. The person who came was Zhu Shinian.

Gu Zhen was born in spring. Both sides of the capital's roads were lined with crabapple trees, and in this season, the petals were falling in abundance.

"Colonel."

Standing under the crabapple tree, Zhu Shinian trotted over and smiled at him, two shallow dimples appearing on his cheeks.

He wasn't wearing a military academy uniform or a military uniform. He was wearing a set of casual clothes that looked quite nice together.

—Of course, Zhu Shinian also looked good in his military academy uniform or military uniform.

Zhu Shinian wished him a happy birthday and said he had admired him for a long time.

He seemed very nervous, speaking very awkwardly.

Gu Zhen was momentarily stunned. He looked down at Zhu Shinian's red ears and, before he could finish speaking, bent down and kissed him.

Later, he learned that Zhu Shinian's mother and grandmother were both bedridden with illness, so he naturally helped arrange hospital rooms for them.

It was just that his mother suffered from a glandular premature aging condition that was incurable at the time. Even the best doctors could do nothing about it. He could only accompany Zhu Shinian through his mother's final journey.

The adjutant assigned to him by his grandfather said Zhu Shinian might have approached him with that in mind, but what did it matter?

He only wished Zhu Shinian had told him sooner.

He didn't like the adjutant his grandfather had appointed, so he immediately transferred Zhu Shinian to his side to take that position.

Many people thought Zhu Shinian was his lover, but that wasn't true.

Zhu Shinian was the lover he had since he was twenty-two, his first lover, and the one who would be his last, the one he intended to marry.

But Gu Zhen didn't understand why he and Zhu Shinian... how had they ended up like this?

It was Zhu Shinian who had said himself that he liked him, admired him, and wanted to be by his side.

.......

When Zhu Shinian woke again, it was already evening.

The sleeping pills had made him sleep deeply, through an entire day, without a single dream.

It had been a long time since Zhu Shinian had slept so well.

The days fighting on the front lines went without saying, but lately, his dreams had been filled either with the horrors of the battlefield or with images of his family dying before his eyes.

For a few seconds, he even felt like thanking Gu Zhen for giving him the sleeping pills, for letting him have the first good night's sleep in ages.

After a minute or two, he noticed he was a bit hungry.

Gu Zhen had given him a nutritional injection, but as Gu Zhen had said, without eating, his stomach did feel somewhat hollow.

Just then, the doorbell rang at the perfect moment: "Mr. Zhu, are you awake?"

It was an unfamiliar voice. Zhu Shinian didn't respond immediately. The person knocked twice more and then pushed the door open.

A young man in his early twenties entered, wearing a military uniform with the badge of the Gu Family Guard on his chest, carrying a tray of food.

"Mr. Zhu, here's your dinner. If you don't want the porridge, you can have something to tide you over first, and I'll prepare something else for you."

"I am the General's new secretary. My surname is Zhou. Feel free to ask me for anything you need."

"It's not that I don't want to drink it. I can eat whatever," Zhu Shinian said quickly.

Zhu Shinian was not one to trouble others by nature, and Gu Zhen knew him well—for someone who had just woken up, congee was indeed good.

"Secretary Zhou," Zhu Shinian hesitated before asking, "Do you happen to know... a Lieutenant Colonel named Chen Yueming who serves under the General?"

Xiao Zhou paused for a moment, then quickly caught on: "You mean Deputy Chen? I know him. He's a brave fighter and has been promoted to Colonel. He was injured a while ago and is now recuperating in the hospital."

"It was a battle you helped command," Xiao Zhou added casually.

Zhu Shinian was taken aback. He said nothing more, picked up his bowl of congee, and began to eat slowly.

He was glad that Chen Yueming hadn't been punished by Gu Zhen for Zhu Shinian's defection, but he couldn't help feeling saddened by Xiao Zhou's latter remark.

War seemed to be like that—when you were fighting on the battlefield, your blood boiled, and you only remembered that you were fighting for your ideals and the people behind you.

But were the enemies he killed, those who stood against him, truly deserving of death?

Among those people, how many were like Chen Yueming, whose worst deeds in life might have been nothing more than a few harsh words with friends?

Yet Zhu Shinian had no other choice.

It seemed that only war could bring an end to such an era, and only war could end the invisible wars.

Xiao Zhou stood by, watching him eat, his posture respectful, but his gaze never leaving Zhu Shinian.

When the bowl was empty, Xiao Zhou took it and set the tray aside.

"Mr. Zhu," he said, "the General said he won't give you any medicine tonight."

Zhu Shinian looked up at him in surprise, hardly believing that Gu Zhen could be so lenient.

"The General asked me to look after you here. There's a TV and game console in the living room, and books in the study. If there's anything else you want, just tell me. The General said... as long as you don't do anything foolish, you can have whatever you want."

Saying it was 'care' was just a nicer word for surveillance.

But for Zhu Shinian, such surveillance was indeed much better than sleeping pills and muscle relaxants.

"Sorry, Secretary Zhou," Zhu Shinian asked cautiously, "Could I... see General Gu? I'd like to talk to him. It won't take long..."

Secretary Zhou refused almost without thinking: "Sorry, sir. The General should come to see you tomorrow, but for today, he's probably at the command center."

"Then can I take a shower?" Zhu Shinian asked again.

"No," Secretary Zhou replied quickly.

The mirrors and shower enclosure in the bathroom were made of glass.

Broken glass could be used for many things, and if he locked the door, things would only become more difficult to control.

Gu Zhen wouldn't let that happen.

"The General should have already given you a bath. You really don't need to do it again."

Zhu Shinian looked down at his dark gray pajamas. They were cotton, soft, and smelled fresh from washing.

"I... just came back from prison. I just want to wash myself..." Zhu Shinian thought for a moment, seeming to guess his concern, and said, "I'll be quick. I won't cause you trouble."

Xiao Zhou looked at him, hesitating.

"I need to ask the General." He left the room, and the door closed softly.

Zhu Shinian sat on the bed, hearing the faint sound of a phone conversation from outside.

He knew he could actually use Xiao Zhou's phone to say something to Gu Zhen right now, but he wasn't completely without a temper.

Being locked up without freedom, either drugged with sleeping pills or watched 24/7, even denied the freedom to bathe.

No one would be happy about that. No one would find it tolerable.

A few minutes later, the door opened again.

"Fine," Xiao Zhou said, pointing without hesitation to the wardrobe in the bedroom. "Get your pajamas and towel, and follow me."

Zhu Shinian thanked him politely, and Xiao Zhou led him to the bathroom.

"I'll be waiting outside. Call me if you need anything."

Zhu Shinian nodded. "Sorry for the trouble."

Zhu Shinian really did just want to take a shower.

The interrogation room had been dark and damp, with moss growing in the corners.

Zhu Shinian had a slight thing about cleanliness. Even though he knew he had already bathed, psychologically he urgently wanted to do it again.

He hated the prison in District 13, hated the prison guards and judges, hated the moss in the corners and the dripping ceiling.

He walked into the bathroom, bent down, and reached to turn on the faucet.

Then he stopped.

This should be Gu Zhen's private residence in District 13. The decoration was simple and elegant, even the bathroom used dark brown marble tiles, with a natural and delicate grain.

But in the tiny, almost invisible crevices between the tiles, Zhu Shinian saw a reddish-brown stain—like a bloodstain.

That couldn't be his own blood. His wounds had already begun to scab and heal in prison, so there was no way they'd leave bloodstains in Gu Zhen's bathroom.

Was it Gu Zhen's own blood?

But Zhu Shinian knew better than anyone that the front-line combat commander was clearly not Gu Zhen.

Author's Note: