Chapter 69 I Feel Terrible

Chapter 69: I Feel Awful

Gu Zhen did not answer immediately. Zhu Shinian thought for a moment before remembering that he was now a fugitive.

Let alone getting married—he'd probably be reported and arrested just for checking into a hotel.

He took Gu Zhen's ring and put it on his ring finger.

It was indeed a beautiful ring, and it fit perfectly on Zhu Shinian's ring finger—neither too loose nor too tight.

"I just forgot that I'm a fugitive now," Zhu Shinian smiled and continued to look up at the northern lights. "I'm so stupid. Forget it."

The sky was a riot of colors, so beautiful you couldn't tear your eyes away.

Gu Zhen did not look up at the sky like Zhu Shinian did. To him, the northern lights were probably like fireworks, Zhu Shinian figured—he must've seen them plenty, nothing special.

Gu Zhen dipped his head a little. Zhu Shinian knew what was coming and stayed perfectly still, not flinching.

But even when Gu Zhen called him back to the car, he never made a move.

Gu Zhen just took Zhu Shinian back to his estate in the Ninth District. The estate at night was vast and silent. The hanging courtyard lights glowed with warm orange light, and even without any servants, the estate did not seem eerie.

The next day, Gu Zhen left at dawn. When Zhu Shinian woke, he found just a note on the nightstand.

"I have some business. I'm going out. Sandwiches on the table—just heat them up. I'll come back at noon to cook for you."

"There are fruits, drinks, and suppressants in the fridge. Your heat's coming up. If you feel off, grab a suppressant from the fridge."

Was his heat really coming up?

Since being with Gu Zhen, Zhu Shinian had been living in a blur, losing all sense of time, almost forgetting a day this important.

He habitually turned on the radio, eating his sandwich while listening to the Resistance radio, and then injected himself with a suppressant.

.......

"The Jiang Group spokesperson said that as the empire's biggest pharma company, they have a well-established structure, and that normal operations won't be affected by any changes at the top."

"...Jiang Group has been deeply involved in the medical and pharmaceutical fields for many years. Our products speak for themselves. We've always taken social responsibility seriously and strictly controlled product quality. Any defamation of our products will be met with legal action."

The male host of the radio station was broadcasting the midday news flash. The moment he heard "Jiang," Gu Zhen felt a visceral disgust and snapped the radio off.

He floored it and raced back to the estate on the city's outskirts.

Since Jiang Huaiyan defected, the Jiang Group had been plagued by all kinds of troubles.

Gu Zhen then realized that despite appearing to have no stake or real power in the Jiang Group all these years, Jiang Huaiyan was no fool—he had reach. He had his people worm into every link of the supply chain, upstream and downstream.

After he left, either longtime upstream suppliers cried shortage and jacked up prices, or downstream hospitals and government buyers wanted to renegotiate their deals. The Jiang Group was getting squeezed from every direction.

Gu Zhen had already argued with Jiang Mingyuan over the early gland failure drug. Gu Zhen believed they should sell it at thin margin to save as many lives as possible. Jiang Mingyuan called him shortsighted and soft-hearted.

The two parted on bad terms. Even now, hearing anything about him made Gu Zhen feel like he'd seen a poisonous snake.

It was one thing to haggle over every cent in business, but to act like this when lives were on the line—Jiang Mingyuan really had no fear of karma.

Just then, the Jiang Group's claim that they'd never sell fake drugs might fool others, but Gu Zhen had his doubts.

With upstream suppliers reneging and hiking prices, it wasn't far-fetched that Jiang Mingyuan might resort to peddling fakes.

Annoyed, he glanced at the car's clock, wanting only to get home and cook for Zhu Shinian.

The roads of the Ninth District were nearly empty. Gu Zhen's black SUV tore through the streets like a bolt of black lightning.

Tourism was the pillar industry of this city. During the war, everyone was too scared for themselves to come gawk at the northern lights, so the city was practically deserted.

The road was empty and silent. Most stretches let him push the SUV to a hundred miles an hour on city streets.

Soon, the familiar outline of the estate appeared in front of the car. Gu Zhen quickly parked, grabbed the fresh vegetables he had just bought from the market, and got out of the car.

The moment he pushed the door open, he knew something was off.

The sofa was empty, the TV off. The living room was deathly quiet. The curtains were drawn, blocking out the blazing sun, leaving the room dark and dim.

"Zhu Shinian!"

Gu Zhen's heart sank.

He dropped everything at the door, bolted to the bedroom, and shoved the door open.

The bed was empty, the quilt piled messily in a corner. Zhu Shinian was not in the bedroom.

Not in the bedroom, not in the living room, not in the kitchen. The bathroom door was open, and no one was there either.

Gu Zhen was almost driven crazy.

He shouldn't have believed the half-genuine, half-false warmth of Zhu Shinian yesterday; shouldn't have left him alone at home; shouldn't have given him any chance to do something stupid...

His mind was in chaos, filled entirely with images from his nightmares over the past several nights.

In the dream, in the interrogation room that day, he hadn't stopped Zhu Shinian in time from shooting himself in the temple. Blood splashed onto Gu Zhen's body and into his eyes, and then Zhu Shinian collapsed, a bloody mess.

The entire estate was as silent as death.

Gu Zhen would rather not find Zhu Shinian now.

He would rather Zhu Shinian had escaped, rather that old bastard Tao Juan had gone back on his word, rather that he had colluded with Zhu Shinian long ago to deceive him...

Don't die, Zhu Shinian. I'm sorry. It's all my fault.

Don't die. Don't do something stupid.

I didn't mean to keep you from leaving. I said I would let you go. I've already arranged with them for the day to come and get you...

I just... had no choice. This is the Empire. I need time to arrange everything.

Every room on the second floor—the maid's room, the private cinema...

Gu Zhen searched all of them, leaving only the room he himself had slept in last night.

His breathing became rapid, and his heart almost leaped out of his chest.

When he placed his hand on the doorknob, he could feel his hand trembling.

He pushed open the door and smelled a sweet, almost intoxicating fragrance of roses that could drown a person.

Warm and soft, it curled into his nostrils, making his scalp tingle.

It was even more intense than roses, like concentrated rose essential oil.

Those were the pheromones of an omega.

His scent gland began to heat up slightly. Gu Zhen followed the scent of pheromones and strode over, pushing open the door to the walk-in closet.

The entire closet was saturated with the scent of roses.

Zhu Shinian was curled up in the very back of the closet, his face flushed unnaturally, the corners of his eyes tinged red. His lips were bitten raw, a tiny bead of blood seeping out.

The collar of his pajamas was messily open, revealing a sweat-slicked collarbone, and his chest heaved violently, as if he couldn't get enough air.

He was clutching one of Gu Zhen's shirts, half of his face buried in the crumpled fabric.

The shirt had been worn directly against the skin, and it might still carry a trace of his pheromones.

"Zhu Shinian..." Gu Zhen said his name, his voice hoarse.

Gu Zhen's heart hadn't fully calmed yet; he was still consumed by the fear that Zhu Shinian might have gone to hurt himself. His mind was in a haze, unable to think clearly.

Didn't I give you a suppressant? Why didn't you take it?

Why did you come in here?

Why did you have to... scare me like this?

Zhu Shinian looked up at him, his eyes glassy and misty, unfocused. It took him a few seconds to recognize who he was.

"Gu Zhen..." Zhu Shinian said softly, "The suppressant you gave me... it doesn't seem to be working anymore..."

Suppressant? How could it not work? He had prepared it in advance; he had checked the expiration date—it couldn't possibly be expired.

"...The Jiang family has a long history in the medical and pharmaceutical industry. The reputation of Jiang's products is well-known. We have always fulfilled our social responsibilities, strictly controlling product quality. Any defamation of Jiang's products will face severe legal consequences."

The voice of the radio host echoed in his mind, and Gu Zhen suddenly understood everything.

He looked down, and the mist in Zhu Shinian's eyes grew thicker, on the verge of spilling over.

"Gu Zhen." Zhu Shinian called out again, his voice even softer. He reached out, grabbing Gu Zhen's sleeve, as if trying to pull him into the closet.

"...Hold me."

Zhu Shinian got what he wanted. The alpha's pheromones he had craved all morning finally wrapped around him snugly.

As if stepping from a torturous hell into a mountain forest, the crisp scent of cypress wood instantly soothed him.

Gu Zhen leaned down, scooped Zhu Shinian up out of the closet, and held him in his arms.

Zhu Shinian clung to him, burning hot, limp as water. His face buried in Gu Zhen's neck, breathing rapidly and hotly, the heat stinging Gu Zhen's skin.

The overwhelming scent of roses surged in, threatening to drown Gu Zhen entirely.

Gu Zhen carried him from the closet to the bed, but Zhu Shinian's hands still gripped his collar, refusing to let go.

"I'm here." Gu Zhen said softly, pressing him closer to his chest. "I'm here."

Zhu Shinian's body was still trembling, but the grip on his collar slowly loosened.

"...Hold me." he murmured.

"Gu Zhen, I feel so bad. Hold me."

Author's note: