Chapter 35 He Hates So Much

Chapter 35: How He Hated It

In the dead of night, the manor was silent and deserted. Jiang Huaiyan, familiar with the way, skillfully led Zhu Shinian past the servants and guards to the underground parking garage.

"Get in the car." Jiang Huaiyan looked at him and said flatly.

Zhu Shinian said nothing, silently opened the passenger door, and got in.

Jiang Huaiyan started the car and drove out of the Gu family manor.

The night was deep, and the black car was almost invisible against the night.

Zhu Shinian felt a hint of regret.

He could have knocked Jiang Huaiyan out and escaped.

He had some counter-surveillance skills. Before the police arrested him, he could still have written another letter to his grandmother.

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a life for a life... The law was well-written, but if that were truly the case, he wouldn't have had to kill Ning Ye with his own hands.

The law couldn't give him the justice he wanted. The empire couldn't protect him and his family.

Even the chance to seek justice by killing with his own hands had to be obtained by winning Gu Zhen's favor.

While he was serving the empire, his brother lay on an operating table in a cramped compartment of the Jiang family villa, being drained of his blood.

Just a wall away, the noble lord and lady elegantly held tall glasses of red wine in the resplendent banquet hall, drinking wine as expensive as gold and as red as blood.

Zhu Shinian was an ordinary person. He had no grand ambitions to change the empire or the world. He joined the military academy only because it offered the best stipends and scholarships. He worked hard on missions just to get promoted a little higher, get more allowances and bonuses, and make life better for his family.

As long as he could be with his family, even eating plain food felt sweet to him.

If he could save a little extra money, he would give it to a trusted person to build more schools and hospitals in impoverished areas, so more children there could learn to read and fewer people would die young from lack of medical care.

How he hated it.

Why, when weeds could thrive with just sunlight and rain, did some people insist on trampling them again and again?

Why, if they were given just a bite to eat and a ruined place to live without being driven out, would they obediently let the nobility trample them?

How could he not hate?

Had the law ever protected him? Did it truly have the right to judge him?

Jiang Huaiyan looked down and saw a gun pressed against his temple. He instinctively hit the brakes and stopped.

"Not going to the police station anymore," Zhu Shinian said. "Do me a favor and take me to the bus station, Young Master Jiang."

Jiang Huaiyan's expression didn't change much. Even with a gun to his head, he seemed remarkably composed.

"...This wasn't even the way to the police station," Jiang Huaiyan said calmly. "Didn't you notice?"

Zhu Shinian was startled, as if he truly hadn't realized where the road was headed.

Either way, it was heading toward death. Where it was going made no difference to him.

"I killed your father. Do you want to torture me yourself?" Zhu Shinian retorted.

"Why bother? Once at the police station, you can easily have me tortured anyway. You should have tied me up earlier. Now, where we go is my call, not yours."

"Going to the bus station to find Tao Juan?" Jiang Huaiyan asked. "Is your family also settled over there?"

"At this critical moment, Tao Juan tells you this. Can't you see he's using it to drive a wedge between you and the empire?"

Zhu Shinian closed his eyes. The moment his teacher told him this, he had already thought of that.

Tao Juan had chosen the most perfect moment to force him to break away from the empire, to stand against it, and to side with Tao Juan.

He knew all that.

For an instant, he resented Tao Juan, resented him for not telling him earlier. Maybe then he might have saved his brother.

Resented being a pawn on a chessboard.

But who used him didn't matter.

He'd rather be Tao Juan's pawn.

"...This is the road to the train station." Without waiting for an answer, Jiang Huaiyan replied to his own question.

He pressed the accelerator again and continued driving in the same direction.

"That's a good idea. The bus station is a motley crowd; it's easy to get on board without ID."

"But do you really think the police won't have it surrounded by departure time?"

"That's my business," Zhu Shinian replied. "Thanks for your concern, Young Master Jiang."

"...You trust Gu Zhen that much to cover for you and buy time? The person who just died is his fiancée's mother."

A click rang clearly in Jiang Huaiyan's ear, and a chill ran down his spine. A moment later, he realized it was the safety being clicked off.

"I intended to turn myself in, but I've changed my mind. And earlier, I didn't kill you. Please... don't make me change my mind again."

"Killing Mrs. Ning has already brought the Jiang family after me," Zhu Shinian said softly. "Adding you to that won't change much."

"Zhu Shinian, put the gun down. I have a way to get you out." Jiang Huaiyan's voice deepened. "If I wanted to harm you, I would have called the Gu family guards just now. Do you think Gu Liancheng wouldn't judge you as a threat and order you shot dead on the spot?"

"You hate me. You can hate me. I have no objection. But you must go to the train station now."

"I guarantee you don't want to experience a noble family's private torture."

Zhu Shinian didn't lower the gun from his temple.

"...What is this? Young Master Jiang owes my brother a life, so now you're repaying that debt to me to ease your conscience?"

Jiang Huaiyan didn't answer, nor did he urge him to put the safety back on or move the gun away.

Even though Zhu Shinian's current state made an accidental discharge possible, or for him to suddenly think of something and pull the trigger.

"The military's gun doesn't have a silencer, does it?" Jiang Huaiyan asked calmly.

"There's a pistol with a silencer in the glove compartment ahead, along with bullets. Take them. With your skills, if you run into any obstacles, having ammunition will make things much easier. There's also an envelope with several large-denomination Imperial Shields; you can exchange them for gold coins at the border."

Zhu Shinian opened the glove compartment. As Jiang Huaiyan had said, he found the pistol, bullets, and the envelope with Imperial Shields.

When he reached for the bullets, his hand brushed against a soft fabric. He paused, realizing it was likely a tie.

Gu Zhen's ties cost tens of thousands of gold coins, and they were almost never casually left lying around like this. Jiang Huaiyan seemed even more particular than Gu Zhen.

Zhu Shinian drew out the tie.

The tie’s color was faded, the edges frayed. The material was cheap, hardly a formal suit accessory, let alone something Jiang Huaiyan would ever wear.

Zhu Shinian’s breath caught immediately. His hand trembled as he held the tie up.

He slowly brought the tie close to his face and sniffed it.

It was his brother’s tie.

In that moment, Zhu Shinian knew—it had to be his brother’s tie.

He was too familiar with that scent. Even after so many years, even though only a faint trace remained, he couldn’t have mistaken it.

Tears fell without warning. Zhu Shinian clutched the tie so tightly his knuckles turned white.

At home in District 26, in the wardrobe that no one had touched since his brother left, there was an identical tie. It was a gift Zhu Shinian had given his brother for his eighteenth birthday, bought with money saved from three weeks of doing odd jobs for the neighbor aunt.

After asking the price, his brother scolded him for wasting money—nearly a hundred silver coins, enough for five or six days’ worth of food for the family—and asked if he could return it.

Zhu Shinian said it was money he’d earned from odd jobs, and Grandma said the money he earned was his to spend however he liked.

His brother was reluctant to use it, having no occasion for it, and always kept it carefully on the top shelf of the wardrobe, as if that tie worth less than a hundred silver coins was as valuable as Gu Zhen’s ties that cost tens of thousands.

In the unfamiliar Jiang household, where he was trapped with almost no freedom, what was he thinking? What was he hoping for? What reason did he have to buy this exact same tie?

Zhu Shinian suddenly lifted his head, his eyes red with emotion.

“This is my brother’s.”

“What right do you have to take my brother’s things?”

Why did you take his belongings? Why did you take his blood, his health, his life—and not even let his things be buried with him?

Jiang Huaiyan was silent for a moment, not answering immediately. The car stopped at a red light, the air conditioner and the engine hummed softly.

“I... I didn’t mean to take his things. I just wanted to keep something of his, to remind myself that he died because of me…”

“My father’s decision—I couldn’t do anything about it… At first, I thought, if it really came to it, I could just have my gland removed and become a beta.”

Become a beta… Hearing this, Zhu Shinian only found this statement ironic.

“But did you do that?”

Zhu Shinian looked at him coldly, unable to feel the slightest understanding for Jiang Huaiyan because of those words.

“Later, your brother said that if my illness was cured, my father would give him a large sum of money and let him go, even issue him a work permit and travel pass in the capital. He asked me to just help him.”

“The day of the fire, I realized what was happening and went back to find him, but I was too late… it was already over…”

I did not kill Bo Ren, but Bo Ren died because of me.

Some are born worthless as weeds; others precious as gold and jade.

Even knowing that Jiang Huaiyan had been powerless back then, Zhu Shinian couldn’t help but hate him.

Fate had been so kind to Jiang Huaiyan—so kind that even though he was destined to face hardships, his parents would pave a smooth path for him with others’ lives.

And fate had been so cruel to his brother.

How could Zhu Shinian not feel resentment?

“His tie… if you want it, take it. Or I can burn it for him when I get back. Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep it for myself.”

Zhu Shinian clutched the tie tightly, his shoulders trembling violently.

What was his brother thinking when he bought this tie? What was he thinking when dying?

Burned alive… how much agony must he have endured?

Author’s note: