Chapter 46 Hug Me Again

Chapter 46: Hold Me a Little Longer

The communicator had been disconnected at some unknown point.

The pain from the wound was a dull ache, slowly spreading from the wounded side of Zhu Shinian's abdomen throughout his body, sapping his strength, making even putting the communicator back on the nightstand difficult.

After making that call, Zhu Shinian started to regret it.

What if someone else needed that painkiller more than him? Was he being too sensitive, too weak to handle pain, just as Gu Zhen had said?

Gu Zhen... the thought made him stop for a moment. It had been a long time since he'd last thought of that name.

Don't think about him anymore, Zhu Shinian shook his head lightly, trying to push him out of his mind.

Even if Gu Zhen had neglected and hurt him, now he owed Gu Zhen.

They were even now. No more thinking about it...

Zhu Shinian's consciousness grew fuzzier from the pain. The morning sunlight, even filtered through the curtains, felt harsh and stinging to his eyes.

He closed his eyes, his mind foggy and hazy, filled with colorful blobs of light.

The only slight comfort was that after his secondary differentiation, his body hadn't started deteriorating yet.

Such a wound should heal in about a week, he thought groggily.

He drifted in and out of consciousness, until finally his breathing grew light and steady.

He wasn't sure if he'd fainted from the pain or had finally fallen asleep.

He dreamed of Mount Kunluola. In the dream, Chen Yueming hadn't let him go. Gu Zhen had caught up, and he didn't want to go with Gu Zhen, so he jumped off the cliff.

At the bottom of the cliff, his body was battered and bloody, but his heart was at peace.

He felt himself becoming lighter, slowly floating up from that unrecognizable corpse.

Those who came to receive him were his mother and his brother.

—Zhu Shinian suddenly remembered why he had jumped.

Death was peaceful, warm.

It was a passage from the painful mortal world to a world without pain.

It was a reunion with his lost family.

“Where is Dad?” he heard himself ask his mother.

His mother replied that his father was cooking, making his favorite steamed sea bass with scallions.

“But... I think Dad’s fish isn’t as good as Grandma’s,” he admitted, a little embarrassed at being so fussy, his voice trailing off.

Slowly, he recalled that long before he became Gu Zhen’s submissive lover, long before he became the well-connected Colonel Zhu of the military, he had been a fussy, spoiled, troublesome little brat who loved to act spoiled and cause his parents trouble.

“Oh, you.” His mother laughed, but there was no hint of annoyance in her voice.

“Niannian.”

Zhu Cheng also smiled.

“Our Niannian is getting more and more amazing,” Zhu Cheng praised. “You did a great job. The whole family is proud of you.”

Hearing his brother’s praise, Zhu Shinian felt very happy.

But suddenly, a bitter taste spread across his tongue, hitting the most sensitive parts, and he couldn’t help but frown.

“Don’t spit it out,” the alpha sitting by his bedside hurriedly covered his mouth. “...Zhu Shinian, be good. Take the medicine, and it won’t hurt anymore.”

“Brother...” Thinking of Ning Ye, Zhu Shinian’s eyes lowered. “Was I too soft-hearted? Should I have... taken his precious son away with me?”

“You...” Zhu Cheng looked at him, speechless.

“It’s my fault,” Zhu Cheng said, his tone heavy with sorrow. “I let such a burden fall on your shoulders. I made you unhappy, I made you sad.”

His brother’s gaze was deep, filled not only with sorrow but also with many things Zhu Shinian couldn’t understand.

Zhu Shinian shook his head vigorously. How could it possibly be his brother’s fault?

Of course it wasn’t his brother’s fault. He was the one who had failed his brother.

“It’s because I didn’t find you, because I was useless, because I couldn’t...”

“Let’s not talk about this anymore. It’s all in the past,” Zhu Cheng interrupted. “Niannian did nothing wrong. Niannian is my pride, our whole family’s pride.”

“Let’s not talk about sad things, okay?” His mother hugged them both. Her embrace was soft and warm, like snow melting into a spring stream, gently wrapping around him and bringing a mild warmth.

The valley was colder than the mountaintop. Zhu Shinian was only wearing an overcoat brought from the southern capital, but held in his mother’s arms, he stopped feeling cold.

Don’t let go. Hold him a little longer.

It’s a bit cold. Don’t go. Hold me a little more.

“If you’re cold, I’ll turn on the heater. What good does hugging me do? I’m not a radiator,” the alpha by the bed muttered almost inaudibly, as if contradicting.

But he let Zhu Shinian indulge, leaning against his chest, and gripped his wrist through his clothes, tucking his hand back under the blanket.

Will that make him any warmer? The alpha was still skeptical, thinking he might as well turn on the heater.

He looked down at Zhu Shinian. His dense eyelashes cast a delicate shadow in the lamplight.

Beneath those lashes were a pair of beautiful peach blossom eyes. Now that shadow trembled slightly, like a butterfly resting on a peach blossom, occasionally fluttering its wings.

“...Your father’s fish really isn’t as good as your grandmother’s,” his mother said after a moment of thought.

“Yeah, Grandma’s fish does taste better,” Zhu Cheng agreed.

Hearing them say this, Zhu Shinian instantly regretted saying that.

He shouldn’t have said that Dad’s fish wasn’t good. He shouldn’t have...

“Then go back. Take good care of Grandma. Spend a bit more time with her,” his mother said. “It’s not... time yet.”

What... did that mean?

Zhu Shinian didn’t understand his mother’s words, didn’t understand what “not time yet” meant.

“Go back.”

His brother hugged him again, and then, slowly, his brother’s body began to grow transparent.

The cold wind howled through the valley, startling a few black crows from the woods, who silently circled high and flew away.

The bitterness in his mouth grew heavier, spreading through his entire mouth.

So bitter.

His mother and brother had left him behind and gone first.

Death did not belong to him. Only the world of the living, a world where he had to endure thousands upon thousands of torments, had a place for him.

His mother and brother didn't welcome him.

Zhu Shinian opened his eyes.

For him, this was considered a good dream.

A very happy dream that fulfilled his birthday wish.

The bitterness in his mouth came from round pills. Zhu Shinian had taken them many times before. This was a painkiller newly developed last year in the capital, with minimal side effects and a price more than double that of ordinary painkillers.

The painkiller had almost dissolved in his mouth. The person at his bedside, seeing him awake, picked up a glass of warm water from the nightstand and handed it to him.

The water was sweet, with white sugar added. After drinking it, the bitterness in his mouth faded a bit.

The person at the bedside took the glass from him, stood up, then picked up an orange from the table and started peeling it.

Zhu Shinian had initially thought it was the nurse taking care of him, but when he fully woke up and clearly saw that person's face, he nearly thought he was still dreaming.

He... how could it be him?

There was a pistol next to the pillow. Zhu Shinian took less than a second to release the safety catch and press the gun against that person's forehead.

Perhaps because of arranging the funeral, or perhaps because of a heavy workload from official duties, Jiang Huaiyan seemed thinner than when Zhu Shinian had left.

Zhu Shinian looked at that familiar, handsome face and felt dazed.

"So you can join the resistance, but I can't?"

With a gun that could go off at any moment pointed at him, Jiang Huaiyan replied calmly.

This statement was utterly ridiculous—so ridiculous that Zhu Shinian was stunned upon hearing it.

The Council President of the mighty empire, actually wanting to join the resistance?

"Tao Juan invited me here," Jiang Huaiyan said.

"The first time we met, didn't you say you knew my political views well? So it shouldn't surprise you that I've joined the resistance."

His political views...

All people are equal.

Everyone has the right to live in this world and earn a good life through labor.

"I think the resistance can better realize my political views, so I came over."

.......

"All people are equal. Everyone has the right to live in this world and earn a good life through labor."

"Imperial citizens should have the right to live, travel, and work anywhere within the empire's territory. Household registration, work permits, travel passes—none of these should be obstacles to citizens using their labor to create a good life."

The alpha in the video gave a powerful speech, and even through the screen, one could be moved by his passion.

And on the screen, the audience for that speech erupted in thunderous applause.

Zhu Shinian had seen many such politicians—they all shouted about fairness and justice when canvassing for votes, but once their goal was achieved, their campaign promises became empty words.

What did it matter if reputation fell to zero? After all, by the next election, new officials who cared for the people as if they were their own children would be packaged and presented to the public.

"Zhu Shinian, let's go. Time for dinner at the cafeteria." Nie Hang climbed down from the top bunk and urged Zhu Shinian.

Chen Yueming caught a glimpse of the person on his screen. "Do you want to go into politics in the future? That path is not easy, and it's no safer than ours—there's plenty of assassinations and poisonings. At least when we go to the battlefield, it's honorable, and you're skilled; besides, Nie Hang and I look out for each other."

"No," Zhu Shinian vaguely denied. "I was just... taking a look."

"Let's go eat. I'm starving. I saw today's menu—there's beef stew and boiled fish in chili sauce, hehe."

Chen Yueming's most anticipated activities every day were lunch, dinner, and going back to the dorm to sleep. The Capital First Military Academy, after all, was full of aristocrats, and though the cafeteria served cafeteria food, it tasted good—no worse than what Chen Yueming's family chef made.

Expensive dishes like beef stew or boiled fish slices, which cost as much as three or four regular dishes, were never something Zhu Shinian even considered. As usual, he got one dish and free soup, but when he went to pay, he couldn't help but stop in his tracks.

Students at Capital First Military Academy used the same bank card for meals, school buses, tuition, and receiving monthly allowances and bonuses.

After receiving his monthly allowance, Zhu Shinian would send most of it home, leaving only three hundred silver coins for his living expenses.

But now, the balance shown on that bank card was a thousand silver coins more than normal.

A full... one thousand silver coins.

Author's note: